When I am true to myself, I am strong beyond measure.
the application of will
continues to tempt me still
uninhibited too dangerous thrill
urges wants desires needs emotional
uninhibited casual sexual relationships fill
my life with seductress midnight encounters
hazardous erotic carnal liaisons midnight hours
rash instant gratification sensual lustful animal urges
I know that I should have become a better man than that
the path to freedom from suffering
is through self-discipline in body, mind, and spirit
Only out of suffering emerges the strongest souls.
jealousy and doubt
the demon soul eaters
visit in the blackest night
darkness lonely frightfulness
another run around nightmares
of lying half-truths dishonest deceit
she was a dark witch circling the firelight
she made it so very easy, and my soul was lost
not all women are witches
but all witches are enchanted women
never accept a kiss from a witch at midnight
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere with anyone.
night is falling
witch moon rising
she visits bars prowling
drinking, posing, hot flirting
touching, stroking, deep kissing
allowing anything, wanting everything
there is no friendship, affection, romancing
satisfying her promiscuous lust by just fucking
men half her age
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Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
In any real relationship there sometimes comes a point where the past raises its ugly head, and that’s where things can get complicated. The problem is that if the past is not accepted and understood, then the future is going nowhere except into a slow-motion train wreck.
What is needed is real acceptance and understanding of the simultaneous past / present / futures. For without that there is no real point in continuing any relationship.
What is acceptance, and what is understanding? There is a big difference between reluctant acceptance ~ which is what most people descend to ~ and true honest understanding.
To reach the nirvana of true and honest understanding, there must first of all be true honesty. And, in this life true honesty is as rare and fleeting as a double rainbow.
I have never before known real honesty in a relationship. Perhaps excepting right now.
The average man ~ mostly harmless.
All men must have experienced that utter bewilderment when they thought they were doing something good, and that those they cared for would appreciate it, only to be accused of a wrongdoing they cannot comprehend.
I had that yesterday.
So now I don’t know what I did wrong, or where I went wrong, or even what I can do to put it right.
You know what that does to a man of any age? We get defensive. We mentally circle the wagons. We can become difficult. We can get the ‘go away and leave me alone’ and ‘I don’t love you anymore’ thing.
At heart men never grow up. At heart men are not so tough, all we want to do is be around people we like and who like us in return. Men are continually looking for approval and positive reactions. Men are always trying to impress and show that we can do good things.
Yesterday I bombed out of all of that by mentioning in this blog that I wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise at Christmas without getting approval in advance from everyone close to me. Wish I could have done, but people are not always just a ‘phone call away.
I got some passive aggression and some downright rejection in response to my innocent idea and blog post.
So now I feel dirty and worthless.
I’m not in love anymore, that was just silly phase I was going through.
I am just a lost soul, looking for my home.
Man the lifeboats men, this ship is sinking.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
goddess of the moonlight
shine your love down on me
make it kind, strong, and bright
be with me in wanderings by the sea
never leave me alone again in the night
do you feel my heart beating, am I dreaming?
these days I always use a Lumix
the kiss of the sun for pardon
the song of the birds for mirth
you are nearer your love in a garden
than anywhere else on earth
Women are often very difficult to impress.
my words are banal, she’s heard it all before
yet my words are very true, I really do care for her
I’m pouring my whole heart away, wish I could find more
memorable originality, honesty, sincere Shakespearian prose
to convince her that I’m not just some other lustful jerk in a bar
does it make you feel good
to know that you
have power over me?