Tag Archives: Women and Men

Two Thousand Miles from Christmas

’tis the season of peace on Earth and goodwill to all men
not any more it isn’t

Do you remember Christmases past?  The happy anticipation of family visits.  The simple pleasure of meeting a few friends in your favourite pub.  You can forget all that.  Anyone who has any fun this year is going against official government guidelines.

Still, this isn’t a negative song at all.

If you take the lyrics in a Christmas Spirit.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

nobody is going anywhere this Christmas

A Choice of Catastrophes

always choose the lesser of two evils

cure global warming by setting fire to the sky

The world is going to hell in a handcart, mostly because governments and their unelected officials have responded in a very male, linear-thinking manner to the supposed coronavirus pandemic.  They have seen a problem and tackled it with gusto, without any thought whatsoever for the wider consequences.  It’s like the man who has an ant infestation in his home and sorts it out by burning down the building.  Perfectly logical if your logic is based on Boolean Algebra and the only possible answers are yes and no.  That is brutal male thinking taken to extremes.  I’m certain that to cure supposed global warming some male scientists would be happy to set fire to the sky.

This highlights the biggest problem that besets most relationships; men think in straight lines and women think in patterns.  This is why most men don’t talk much and most women like to talk.  It’s also why if there’s a problem in a relationship a man will want to find an immediate solution and most women will want to talk about it.  If you don’t understand that then you can’t have a real relationship with the opposite sex ~ all you can have is a deal, a contract, a set of compromises neither of you actually understand.  What you have is called a Transactional Relationship.

If you have a transactional relationship it’s most likely suffering right now.  Being thrown closely together because of lockdown, or because there is just nowhere to go, means that established positions get blurred and it’s difficult for both of you to fulfill your allotted role.  What you might realise is that both of you aren’t actually very happy being together.  Or that if you are going to stay together things will have to change.

And, this is where it falls apart.  Suppose one of you is now drinking too much.  Most people will fall right back into that transactional model; ‘if you stop drinking so much, I will…..’  or the more likely; ‘if you don’t stop drinking so much I’m walking out…..’

You have a Choice of Catastrophes.  We can all stay with the shit we have now, or we can set off into the unknown.  We can stay with our partner and regret it.  We can leave and regret it.  We can believe all this COVID-19 crap and have our civil liberties taken away, or we can ignore all the facile advice and instructions thrown at us by governments and health officials and maybe die of the fucking coronavirus.

It’s up to each of us to choose the lesser of two evils ~ but choose wisely.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

when in doubt, trust your gut

Sharing Love

love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies

Well, perhaps, but even in the truest of loves between the most compatible of people each of them has their own separate road to walk.  They may walk it together, supporting each other always, and the one may carry the other for a time, but each one wants / should / must have their own choices to make.  It is a truism that you cannot / should not / must not try to live another person’s life for them.

More than that, almost every adult craves their independence, needs their time alone, and wants to be able to make their own mistakes.  The thing about romantic partnerships and love is that the partners should be good friends, perhaps each another’s very best friend.  And the thing about very good friends is that you don’t always want to see them, but you always want to know that they’re there.

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main….. ~ John Donne

Sharing everything with your partner might sound ideal, and I guess many young lovers strive for that perfect ideal, but there is nothing worse in life than perfection.  Living in your partner’s pocket is claustrophobic, actually living with anyone every minute of every single day, month in and month out, would constitute a cruel and unusual punishment in most legal systems.  But solitary confinement is even worse.

How much you share with your partner, and how much of your partner you share with others is, like all of life, a balancing act.  But I would strongly suggest that sharing absolutely everything isn’t going to work for most people.

Here I can best speak for myself; a real, honest, honourable, steadfast, and true man.  And I need time alone, not fully engaged with anyone or anything other than myself, my innermost thoughts, and the Goddess of my understanding.  Men such as I tend to seek out solitary pastimes ~ I take long meditative walks by the sea.  But from time to time some company is nice.

Most men have very poor conversational skills in comparison to their female partner, so telling her about ‘everything that happened in my day’ is difficult for men.  Similarly, listening to her narrate her day’s events is hard for men.  And trust me on this; some of the things she may have done he will not ever want to know.  Men have very poor empathy in comparison to women.

And then; a man’s feelings, drives, and needs are very different from a woman’s.  He will not ever want to know about your past and the other men in it, and if he does a woman should worry.  The same goes for men in your present life, (coworkers and such).

People who want to know everything about you and live with you 24 / 7 are but one step from spying, stalking, and gaslighting.  Maybe ~ so give each other some space.

(there is a whole other set of meanings about ‘sharing’ in relationships ~ but I’m not going to go there)

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most women would not want to be chained

not all the time anyway

Songs on Saturday ~ Cat Stevens

oceans apart, day after day, and I’m still in love

Either in lockdown in the garret, or prevented from travelling, or in a beautiful place on vacation…..  where ever I can go, and whatever I can do, I still cannot see my friends.  Especially I am not allowed to meet those I care for the most.

I may be only a solitary traveller, but love, true love, transcends time and space.

Please listen with your heart.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

purity, innocence, youthfulness

or a new beginning of everlasting love

Songs on Saturday ~ Sting

a lost man, in a lost world, on an endless quest for faith and truth

This song is for a friend of mine, who oft gives me the faith and strength to carry on when all seems lost.  When I’m down and troubled she lends a helping hand, she helps me to get up again, and strive once more to be a really great guy, living a very cool life.

A bit of Shakespeare, some Thomas Malory, and a reference to Alfred, Lord Tennyson in the video accompanying this song.  Who knew that Sting was educated and well-read?

King Canute’s real name was Cnut.  What a great T-shirt logo, if you were brave enough.

Please listen as you look to see if you have any great literature on your Kindle.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

knighthood’s dauntless deed

beauty’s matchless eye

Songs on Saturday ~ Londonbeat

she was the sun, moon, and stars ~ she was the love of his life

Nothing lasts forever, but some love affairs bring on the sun, so what does time matter?

Yesterday my sun was shining brightly, and that was enough to bring happiness and love into my life.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  All I know is that I am content today.

Please listen with a sense of fun.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

been there, seen the eclipse

shame I had to go to Wyoming

 

Monochrome Monday ~ Trim Bodies

half of all Americans are clinically obese  ~ that means they’re fat

~

~

~

~

~

 

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

plenty of fresh air and exercise

not much need for a calorie-controlled diet

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Harry Connick jr

how many can truly say; ‘I love you just the way you are’?

A little while ago I bought a Harry Connick jr album ~ A Celebration of Cole Porter.

Makes a change from ol’ Blue Eyes…..  Although Billy Joel also does a great cover of this fabulous song.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

just make certain the one you love has great legs

Random Jottings ~Nightmares

nightmares are your subconscious mind’s way of getting your attention

~

unrequited love is the most beautiful dream

and the worst nightmare

~

a dragon is never your worst nightmare

that would be a woman

~

your nightmares are as faithful as your own shadow

~

at night, your worst memories can never be held at bay

~

I still get childhood nightmares, but now I can remember them

~

in my worst nightmares, I have no mouth, and I must scream

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

in my waking dreams there are nothing but dark lonely regrets

Relationships, Friendships, and Love

I can’t stop loving you, no matter how hard I try

A couple of times in my life I’ve met someone I’ve really liked, and through spending time with her, becoming friends, having a relationship, I’ve found myself being in love.  Not on purpose, not because that was what I wanted, not because it was easy, not because she was perfect, and not because she was the girl next door.  Perhaps it was just meant to be.

Not all love lasts, but if you have ever truly been in love then you know that you first and most of all you are friends.  True friendship lasts forever.

And so, these are the thoughts I have about being in love.

  • Some say that you are lucky to find love even once in your life, so always hold her close, don’t ever let her go.
  • Let your the light of your love shine, even in the worst of times.
  • Even on the darkest of days her love makes every cloud carry a sliver lining.
  • You both enjoy the warm sunshine and the cold rain, just so long as you are together.
  • Whatever she says, whatever she does, she makes you happy.
  • You always tell her the truth, the whole truth, spoken and written from your heart and soul.
  • When she needs you, you are there for her, steadfast and true.  And she is always there for you.
  • If the road gets tougher, if times get hard, if life is difficult, then you love each other more.
  • When you are going somewhere together, no matter how late she is, you are happy to wait for her.
  • When she’s not there you miss her desperately, and you think about her always.  You dream of her.
  • You are happy to hold hands in public.
  • You listen when she speaks, and never talk over her.
  • You will be her steadfast friend, always, no matter what.
  • Even if she is a siren on the road to Hell, you desire her anyway.

Not all of the above is always true, not all of the time.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

when you are in love

she is your sunrise

%d bloggers like this: