Tag Archives: What women want.

What Turns You On?

real love is confidence, acceptance, and understanding

what women want

You will not be surprised to learn that I still have no real idea what women want, other than security and steadfastness.  I sort-of know that women want, need, and desire things like trust, respect, acceptance, understanding, and somebody with enough money to look after them.  And that some people have kinks that we wouldn’t want to imagine.  But, what do women really want?

So, obviously I checked a website, and came up with dross.  It seems that women want, need, and desire; confidence, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, emotional honesty, respect, and a sense of humour.  Jeez, the woman who wrote that must have been dating the slob next door lookalikes or guys in their twenties.  Apart from the emotional honesty thing.

Almost no men are emotionally honest, not even with themselves.  Asking for emotional honesty from a man is like asking for him to hold a conversation and walk up a flight of stairs at one in the same time.

I checked some other sites and the women writing them came up with things like;  vulnerability, stability, equality, awareness, emotional presence, interestedness, protectiveness, acceptance, and assertiveness.  Some slightly iffy and slightly contradictory stuff there.

I’m a man, and from bitter experience I will tell you exactly what women want when it comes to men.

  • Looks, Presence, Physicality, Command Ability.  In general women do not get turned on by a Forrest Gump played by a Danny Devito type, but they do get turned on by Bond played by Connery.  A big dick helps.
  • Money.  I don’t give a shit what any woman says, while some woman might fuck a hot-looking pauper, it’s not what they really want need and desire.  They want a man who pays for dinner, sends flowers, dresses nicely, has a cool car, and can afford to take them on expensive vacations.
  • Power.  Power is the greatest aphrodisiac there is, according to Plato.  Why else would any woman sleep with some notable politicians?
  • Intellect.  Unless she is a bimbo, women want a man who can hold a conversation, knows where Canada is, and can discuss anything, anytime, with anybody.
  • Talent.  Women do not like talent-less men, and whatever talent he has better be masculine.  Not many women are turned-on by a guy who is good at quilting.  Women prefer men who can fix their car at two in the morning, in the pouring rain.
  • Listening.  Women like to talk, and they prefer it when the man they are dating actually listens instead of constantly talking over them or being bored.  Listening to a woman, any woman, is a learned skill for men.
  • Steadfastness.  Women like men who are there for them 24/7 365, no matter what.

Of course this is based on an unscientific straw-poll, and the answers depended on how much the women I polled had to drink.  And, there is more, and not all women are the same, and some men have hidden depths.  But I know, from being able to listen, that a woman who lets go a man who ticks all the boxes I’ve listed above regrets it forever.


jack collier



looks and being able to ride a motorcycle are enough for one woman I’ve known

Know What You Don’t Want

A wise man doesn’t try to get what he doesn’t want.

Many people don’t know what they want out of life, and many of them struggle to find a way to discover their true needs, want, desires, and dreams.  Even if you know what you most need, want, desire, and dream of having ~ well, whatever it is might be very difficult, or almost impossible to acquire.  This applies especially to friendship, love, sexual desire…..  in fact anything that relies upon another person doing what you want is always going to be an almost impossible dream.  You have no control whatsoever over what another person thinks, feels, likes, dislikes, loves, or hates.

Your most important “want” should be the one you can control.  ~  Shannon L. Alder.

You cannot make her / him love you, desire you, or even like you.

It follows therefore, that in our journey through life, at some point we should work out what we truly, honestly, realistically need, want, desire, or dream of having.

And this is where most of us come unstuck.  We have no idea what it is that we want ~ other than our life goes on pretty much as it has always gone on, without us having to think about it too much, or wandering too far outside of our own comfort zones.

We Just Do Not Know What We Really Want.

However, all of us, or almost all of us, know what we don’t like about our life.  Almost all of us know exactly what we hate about our lives.  Most of us know exactly who and what we want to walk away from, and after that never, ever, keep in touch.

Some of us can tell exactly when there’s an elephant in the room ~ we know when there are important issues that are not being discussed with our significant other, and instead all we ever seem to talk about is meaningless trivia.

Many of us know that our wants, needs, desires, and important dreams are not being fulfilled.  We know that we are frustrated and unfulfilled.

Therefore, as a first step to knowing what you really want, write down what you know you don’t want.  Write down what you don’t like about your life.  Write down what you hate about your life.

Be honest.  Be brutally honest with yourself.

Do not censor yourself ~ just write down what comes into your head.

Don’t over-think things, just write, whatever it is and however bad it seems.

You will have to force yourself to confront the real and damaging issues in your most private life, instead of just focusing on fluffy easy minor annoyances.

Most likely you will not complete your list of dislikes and hates in one short attempt.  Keep your list safe, and add to it whenever you think of something else that disturbs your quest for a fulfilling inner peace.

And, most importantly, DO NOT let anyone else see this list of the things and people you hate and what you hate about them.

For example, your partner / wife / husband may not be happy to know that you think she / he is as sexually responsive as a wooden plank.  You know what, if I had a significant other / partner / wife like that, then I’d hate that too.  (Trust me, I’d hate it, I’ve been there.)

Most likely, if you’re brutally honest with yourself,  sex will feature heavily on your list of things that aren’t going right for you.  After that, probably your job, your home life, your friends, health, fitness, enjoyment…..

My current list of things I don’t like / hate about my life has 34 things on it, and I’m telling nobody what they are.

But now I have a good idea of what I don’t want, I can start to get what I do want, by any means necessary.  (As long as the means I use are legal, honest, and ethical, I will do whatever it takes to get what I truly need, want, desire, and dream about.)

When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.  ~  Jim Rohn

Some say that success is getting what you want.  And that happiness is getting what you need.  All I know is that I’m damn certain what I don’t want in my life.


jack collier



I would like to go back to California again



Scenes on Sunday # 11

This Sunday I offer yet more ‘scape pictures from my library.  ‘scape pictures, what in the world are ‘scape pictures?  Seascapes, cloudscapes, landscapes, cityscapes, roadscapes, or pictures of Venice.  Venice California.  I thought I might like to build and live there, (notice the vacant lot), then I thought about all that water and that there might be more than a few mosquitos.  Everyone hates a mosquito.

On the other hand, most girls like wandering around cool places like Venice.  Women are very curious about how other people live.  A man has to love that.

All these shots were taken with a compact LUMIX Panasonic DMC-AS3 camera.  This camera is so lightweight, small, and smart that it’s good  for taking everywhere.












liebster-12Pictures of some really high-end homes,

and an egret, in Venice by jack collier

and the cute girl riding shotgun


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