Tag Archives: Urban Survival Skills for Men

Veganism and Health

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.  ~  Albert Einstein

modern wheat is as bad for you as any slow poison.

A vegan diet is one that excludes any food that comes from an animal, fish, or whatever.  This includes eggs, dairy, meat, fish, fowl, and even things like snails and honey.  A vegan diet is exclusively plant-based; vegetables, fruit, grains, soy, legumes, nuts, and seeds.  Vegan diets usually usually exclude any canned or processed foods.  Vegan diets are extreme.

There are far more vegan women than men.  In the UK 63% of people who say they are vegan are women.  Anyhow, in the UK veganism is not exactly part of the mainstream dietary culture, there are only some 542,000 self-identified vegans here, which is 1% of the population ~ and I don’t necessarily believe there’s a half-million vegans in Great Britain.  I once dated a vegan, and she cheated all the time.

Dr. Richard Twine, a senior lecturer in social sciences, interviewed a shed-load of vegans and found that 73% were women and only 27% were male.

In America, that world epicentre for weird cults, fads, and fringe movements, only 3% of the population identify as vegan.  Amazing, as more than half of Americans believe that alien abduction, alien visitation, and UFOs are real.  Aliens probably exist.

Proper scientific studies show that true veganism can be very bad for your health, especially if you consume unhealthy plant-based food such as fruit juices, refined grains, wheat, fries, and a lot of fatty, high-calorie stuff like avocado.  The recommended daily serving is just 1/3 of a medium sized avocado.

My vegan diet brought on early menopause.  ~  Virpi Mikkonen

A vegan or vegetarian who consumes no animal products can be just as unhealthy as a slob who dines on nothing but burgers and beer.

Some health problems caused by a vegan diet include; leaky gut, hormone disruption, (including oestrogen and thyroid hormones), anemia, low omega-3 leading to anxiety and depression, lack of vitamin B12, (which can lead to irreversable memory loss and impaired cognitive function), lack of zinc, (which is especially vital for pregnant women), too much carbohydrate, (which leads to fatty liver, diabetes, and obesity), and eating disorders.

Personally, I don’t care so much if someone wants to be vegan or vegetarian, but I do object when they preach to me about my own omnivorous diet.

Some say they don’t eat meat because eating animal products is unethical.  And that being vegan reduces their carbon footprint.  All I know is that I really like a good steak.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

onglet steak, a butcher’s best kept secret.

Travelling Music ~ Barbados

Beaches, Surf, Sun, and Fabulous Food, make a great vacation!

This Friday I head off for the USA on an extended vacation ~ two of the most important things for me to take on vacation are a great book, and some cool recorded music.  I have the book; Isaac Asimov’s Extraterrestrial Civilizations, and this is one of my favourite holiday songs.

Some say the West Indies are all about Cricket, Rum, and Sun.  And that Bridgetown is full of older American women.  All I know is that you don’t go there in July, August, or September.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Marijuana is popular in the Windies,

and in California.

 

English Words You’ve Never Used

All slang is a metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry.  ~  G.K. Chesterton

Most Americans will never have heard or used some of the words I grew up with.  Although the words I most hear used around here these days are fuck and fucking.  Catch-all expressions for the chronically stupid and uneducated.  So; sprinkle some of these colloquialisms into your lexicon.

    • Arse           ~  backside, a stupid ineffectual idiot
    • Aye            ~  yes
    • Bairn          ~  very young child
    • Baccy         ~  tobacco
    • Bait            ~  packed lunch
    • Beck           ~  stream
    • Bog            ~  toilet
    • Brasso        ~  an adjective for very bad beer, metal polish
    • Cack           ~  shit
    • Cadge        ~  borrow and beg
    • Canny        ~  pretty damn good, also clever and prudent
    • Clarts         ~  runny mud
    • Class          ~  beautiful
    • Divvent      ~  don’t
    • Doon         ~  down
    • Dyke          ~  ditch, unattractive lesbian
    • Fettle         ~  fix
    • Geordie     ~  Native of Newcastle upon Tyne
    • Gob           ~  mouth
    • Gormless   ~  stupidly lacking in ability and initiative
    • Gully          ~  big sharp knife
    • Haporth     ~  next to nothing, almost worthless, contraction of half-penny-worth
    • Hoy            ~  throw
    • Knackered  ~  tired, weary, broken
    • Lug             ~  ear
    • Lum            ~ chimney
    • Marra         ~  very good friend
    • Minging     ~  disgustingly smelly
    • Mortal        ~  very drunk, also ‘mortalious’.
    • Nebby        ~  nosy and intrusively curious
    • Netty          ~  an earth closet toilet, any toilet
    • Nick            ~  steal
    • Nowt          ~  nothing
    • Numpty      ~  ineffectual idiot
    • Pallatic        ~  very drunk
    • Scran          ~  food
    • Sneck         ~  hasp or catch
    • Spelk          ~  splinter
    • Stotting      ~  bouncing, as in ‘the rain is stotting down’
    • Telt             ~   told
    • Tyke            ~  a Yorkshireman or small boy
    • Wazzock     ~  annoyingly stupid ineffectual idiot
    • Wanker       ~ arrogant and contemptible ineffectual idiot, a chronic masterbator
    • Wor            ~  our, or my
    • Yakker        ~  manual worker

Some say that all slang is bad.  And if the Queen doesn’t use a word, then neither should I.  All I know is that I like to surprise and baffle Americans with my very English vocabulary.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s only the Union Jack when it’s flown on the jackstaff of a warship

Men, Advice, and Solutions

A man’s self-worth is defined by the results he can achieve.

Real Men Slay Dragons

Today, practical men are great at solving problems involving faulty electrics, leaking faucets, broken-down cars, busted appliances…..  Real men are crap at listening when all a woman wants is to talk about her feelings, or how her day was.  Masculine men are basically problem-solving machines.

To understand why a man always gives advice and solutions, when all a woman wants is for him to listen, you need to know how the male brain works.  And for a start, unlike women, men have dick-all connections between the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

A woman’s brain is organised for communication and empathy.  A woman’s brain is structured to talk, and the main purpose of her talking is to talk and share feelings.  For the most part she is not looking for solutions, advice, or answers, which is what the male brain is organised to provide.

Men evolved as mostly solitary hunters, and their main contribution to the survival of the human race was the ability to hit a moving target so that everyone could eat meat.  Prehistoric Man needed the ability to accurately throw a rock, club, or spear, either at edible targets or enemies who wanted to steal their food or who threatened their tribe.

As a result, men evolved a target-hitting and spacial awareness area in the brain, which uses up the part of the brain that forms the speech and communications centre in women.  Talking, listening, empathy, and emotions uses up odd bits of the male brain that aren’t used for much else ~ men don’t have a speech centre.  Women don’t have a spacial awareness, target-hitting, and throwing centre in their brain, which is why most women have a useless sense of direction and can’t read maps.

Early man turned into result-oriented creatures who measure their own success strictly by outcomes, accomplishments, and their ability to come up with solutions to problems.  A real man feels that he is the one person most capable of solving his own problems, and does not see any need to discuss them with anyone else.  Men will only ask another persons opinion about a problem if he is looking for expert advice; say from a doctor.  Unsolicited advice from a woman is not welcomed by any masculine guy.

Some women say that men have countless annoying traits.  And that a woman wants to be listened to, not fixed.  All I know is that real men don’t want to worry about toilet seats.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

put a real man on an idyllic desert island, and the first thing he’ll think about is how to get off it.

 

 

Monochrome Monday ~ Sexy Englishmen

Most women love an intelligent man with a great sense of humour.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Real English Men treat all women like Ladies,

even when they’re quite obviously not

Drinking and Drinkers

Booze, the cause of, and the answer to, all of life’s problems.

Long Island Iced Tea

Some people believe that the most reliable way to have fun is to drink to excess.  They believe that to go into a bar, or to go to a party, and not drink at least a half-dozen beers or a whole bottle of wine is incomprehensible.  And for some, wine, beer, and spirits are all the same, the key is the alcohol.  All booze is to be consumed until they feel that buzz, feel like they’re having fun, slurring their words, and knock over a glass.

Go into some bars, particularly airport bars, or any bar in the USA, and you will see women sitting at the bar, usually among a group of men, laughing at risque jokes, watching sports TV, their faces shiny from too much booze.  As predatory as any younger man, of which there will be a lot around any woman.  If anyone’s drinking Long Island Iced Tea, then they really want to get shit-faced.

No pub is without its regulars, who all have their regular spot, and usual ‘friends’who will comment if they miss a session or two.

In airports, railway stations, shopping malls, and strange towns, real drinkers will either know where there is a good bar or make it their priority to find one.  Real boozers will think nothing of striking up an intimate conversation with whomsoever they may find sitting at the bar, and possibly proceed to tell them stuff they wouldn’t ever tell their partner or closest friends.  Sometimes they have no idea where they are when they wake up, maybe in the morning.

Older people tend to do their drinking at home, sitting in their favourite chair, maybe watching something asinine on Netflix, steadily knocking back their preferred tipple until they realise they should go to bed, or they make stupid ‘phone calls, or post sexual stuff online, or just fall asleep / pass out in their chair.

You can always tell a boozer.  They will be overweight with a lot of unsightly belly-fat, they will turn up at work late in the clothes they wore yesterday, their hands may shake in the mornings, probably they are smokers / gamblers / sexually promiscuous, their trash will always be full of empty bottles, and their car will often be found outside their regular pub / bar.

Some women say that they like beer, bikers, and rock music.  And that there’s nothing in their past that they regret.  All I know is that it’s best to avoid that sort of female.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

A real English pub,

where you will never find a nice girl sitting at the bar.

 

Songs on Saturday ~ Piano Man

Booze is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I’m English, but I’ve spent time in bars in most of the major cities in Europe and the United States.  You know that you’re spreading it a little widely when you walk into a bar in say ~ New York, just off Madison Avenue, and the barman knows immediately that you drink a stirred vodka martini, or several.

~

I’ve spent far too much time in bars exactly like the one in this song, except there was usually a slightly inebriated woman sitting at the bar trying to get picked up for casual sex.  Sad really.  And the piano man was never as good as Billy Joel.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I don’t pick up women in bars,

and I don’t have casual sex.

Songs on Saturday ~ Airport

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket.

I’m going on a trip soon, during which I’ll pass through a half-dozen airports; Newcastle, Heathrow, Chicago, John Wayne, Phoenix, and Dallas / Fort Worth.  Isn’t John Wayne such a cool name for an airport?

Airports exist outside of normal time and space ~ airport bars doubly so.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s always dawn somewhere

Ten Reasons to Love an Englishman

If an Englishman were to get run down by a truck, he would apologise to the truck.  ~  Jackie Mason

~

Every Englishman is convinced of a couple of things; that to be born an Englishman is to have won first prize in life, and that it is better to be an English Gentleman than to be a Good Guy from any other country on Earth.

Hollywood actresses want to be admired by Americans, courted by an Italian, have an affair with a Frenchman, but be married to an Englishman.  So what makes Englishmen so admired?

  1. Englishmen are the most charming and best mannered people on Earth, bar none.
  2. Englishmen are very open to new, eccentric, and weird ideas.
  3. Englishmen will dress however they please ~ no matter what.  The best dressed men on the planet are Italians who are trying to look English, and the English when they’re trying to look Italian.
  4. Mostly we are very ‘happy go lucky’ and ‘easy going’ in a well-mannered sort of a way, anyway no other men on Earth have any manners at all.
  5. We treasure freedom of speech above all things, our prime minister can be subjected to some terrible diatribes in the House of Commons.  We reserve the right to be extremely rude about everyone except our own Queen.
  6. The English treat Sundays just like every other day of the week, except we don’t go to work.  Our stores are open almost 24/7/365.
  7. Our sense of fair play and concern for the underdog.
  8. The Englishman’s sense of humour, which mostly does not translate across the Atlantic.  Especially nobody but the English understands irony, rhetoric, or sarcasm.
  9. Mature Englishmen are the best drivers in the world, bar none.  We are frequently horrified by the standards of driving in every other country we visit ~ where they mostly drive on the wrong side of the road anyway.
  10. And there have been some truly great Englishmen; The Beatles, Brunel, Byron, Churchill, Cook, Coleridge, Darwin, Elgar, Elizabeth I, Elton John, Fleming, Henry V, Nelson, Newton, Kipling, The Rolling Stones, Shakespeare, Sturgeon, Wellington, Whittle, Wodehouse…..  And Bond, James Bond

And #11 Mature Englishmen have the very best accent, which is also utterly impossible for a non-Englishman to imitate.

Some say that an Englishman’s way of speaking absolutely identifies him.  And that most Englishmen are very conservative and terribly old-fashioned.  All I know is that I’m proud to be English.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the Union Flag contains the English cross of St George, the cross of St. Patrick of Ireland, and St. Andrew’s Saltire of Scotland.

 

Reinvent Yourself

It’s never to late to be what you might have been.

~

Most people would like to change some things about themselves.  They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from.  Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..

One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works.  The only thing we can ever change is ourselves.  But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.

Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.

Here’s the hard thing.  To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices.  You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..

Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..

Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.  ~  Charles Bukowski.

To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;

  • What should I stop doing and thinking?
  • What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
  • What could and should I do less of?
  • What could and should I do more of?
  • What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.

Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal.  Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.

Some say they already have everything their heart desires.  And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right.  All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Somebody here is going to get into trouble

or maybe they both will.

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