do every act of your life as though it was the very last act of your life ~ Marcus Aurelius
January in England and nature is at its lowest ebb of the year. The ground is hard, the sea is damn cold, everything and everyone seems to be moving in slow motion.
Even I’ve been feeling lethargic this afternoon, and considering doing nothing more productive than dozing while the TV plays in the background.
That just isn’t good enough for me.
You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no life but this. ~ Henry David Thoreau.
Feeling bored, listless, lethargic, and filled with ennui is just a state of mind, and if I’ve learned anything in recent months is that you can change your mind, even your state of mind.
Instead of dozing, bored in front of the TV, I’m going to go out into the cold and take another walk. At least that will damn well wake me up.
Some say that boredom the natural state of being for mature guys. And, that most men don’t have the energy, brains, or motivation to find anything better to do than watch sports on TV. All I know if that I’m not like most men; I’m a cool guy living a great life.
a desert, a Mustang, who can be bored?
the edge of fear is where love and trust grows
erotic, but pretty mild
Dreams do not have deadlines nor commitments…..
Hardly anyone is really in control of their own life. This is doubly true if you happen to be an ‘average person’, who has a job, mortgage, and normal financial commitments ~ face it you have to turn up for work every day, whether you like it or not. Add in a family, who undoubtedly will have expectations of you, and your time is not hardly ever your own. (And, I wasn’t even thinking about the ‘average person’ who is married with children.)
The ‘average person’ can’t really have dreams and desires, unless their dreams and desires happen to fit in with what others expect of you.
Just supposing you want to take a year off, buy an old school bus, turn into a camper van, and see as much of backroads America / Europe, as you possibly can in that year. What do you think your partner / family / friends / employer / neighbours are going to say about that?
I’ll tell you that the likelihood is that their views and words will range from incredulity to negativity, to downright hostility. That is if you are an ‘average person’ living a ‘normal life’. Ergo, to protect yourself you would probably not ever have that kind of empowering dream and desire.
Instead your mind will be filled with things such as; ‘what can I do about my partner / sister / brother…..?’ or ‘how can I afford to pay my bills’, or ‘how can I get a better job?’ or ‘what can I have for lunch / dinner / supper?’
None of us can do anything about our past, except reframe the way we think about it.
Most ‘normal’ and ‘average’ people can do very little about what’s happening to them in the present. The chances are that, for them, today will be pretty much like yesterday. If they have to work for a living the chances are that any working day will be exactly like the working day before. Even their thoughts and conversations will have a mind-numbing repetitious banality.
However, and this is
fucking damned important, we can all do something about our futures.
NOBODY has to settle for the status quo. If there is something or someone in your life that’s sucking the life out of you, then get rid of it / them. If your marriage is crap / abusive / boring, then get out of it. If your job is horrible and badly paid, then leave and get another job ~ there’s nothing like being out of work to put a real edge on job hunting.
There is only one problem ~ most people will never leave their ‘comfort zone’. If that’s you, then it’s time you grew up and grasped your own future with both hands ~ carpe diem.
As for me? I’m a really cool guy, living a great life. I can do just about whatever I want, just about whenever I want ~ within my own pretty rigid code of ethics, and the fact that I don’t ever want to get arrested again.
That van was in Palm Springs
It is only through our losses, failures, and hardships that we learn true growth and enlightenment.
How does one measure success in blogging?
Some would say that success on this platform can only be measured by how much money you have been able to make from your blog. As I don’t actually need any more money than I already have, then monetizing this thing has never appealed to me.
There are some very raw statistics that might tell me that the blog is a success;
- Number of followers; 2003
- Number of posts; 1024 (but that does not include the posts I’ve published and subsequently trashed)
- Number of views; 138,600
- Number of comments; 5,658 (not including the half-dozen comments I’ve received and trashed ~ for the benefit of whoever had sent a perhaps unsuitable few words)
Although I prefer to think that true success is measured by quality, and not quantity.
However it must be true that I am writing things that people want to read ~ else how would this ordinary English guy have had followers who stuck with me over the 4 years I’ve been writing this thing.
A very big thank you to you all
Only when it’s almost gone will you know what a gift love is.
the world carries on without me
but nothing remains the same
yet I’ll go on without you
until the end of days
dance until the end of love
Whatever men attempt, they seem driven to overdo ~ Bernard Baruch
That’s certainly always been true for me.
Please listen responsibly.
There are far, far better things ahead than any that we leave behind. ~ C.S. Lewis
The last day of the old year. And what have I learned?
I close my eyes to false friends, and open my heart to new beginnings.
Those of us who march to the sound of a different drum believe that December 20th was the real New Year’s Eve.
But, what happened this Year that’s worth remembering?
- Despite what the ‘global warming’ fools said the world did not end.
And that was just about it.
Personally I discovered the real me, decided that I don’t need a woman to validate that, and resolved to part with anyone who thinks they have a claim on my life.
So, next year is a clean slate. No relationships, no lies, and no promises.
But that does not include Marmaduke
Being alone should hold no terrors for a man.
It’s pretty unlikely that I’m ever going to be stranded on a desert island, get lost in the jungle, or dumped in the middle of the outback. But, I’ve been lost and alone in an urban jungle many, many times. Today, as I write this I’m alone in my apartment with some cool music playing on my hi-fi ~ I’m alone in a modern jungle and I know that every single day I will need all of my hard-learned skills to survive and prosper.
The very, very first hard lesson I learned about being alone and lonely is that staying locked up in one’s own home, bolting the door, and nailing it shut, does not help at all. Doing your shopping at two in the morning at the all-night supermarket, only interacting with other people via the internet, never opening one’s post ~ well that’s just pathetic. However tempting it may be to utterly cut oneself off from the world, it’s not a good plan.
What I learned was;
- Stop drinking. Booze just makes everything much worse.
- Don’t spend money you don’t have, and never borrow a penny.
- Don’t gamble. Gambling is for suckers and sluts. The house always wins in the end.
- Get out of bed, get showered, shaved, shampoo your hair, get dressed in clean clothes.
- Junk all the rags you’ve been wearing for years, go shopping and buy some stylish new stuff. Don’t shop in thrift / goodwill stores because you will look like a used tramp.
- Get some fresh air and exercise, every single day. Start by forcing yourself to walk for an hour a day. Then force yourself to do the 10,000 steps a day thing, and maybe go to the gym 3 or 4 days a week.
- Go travelling into the sunshine.
- Talk to people. Especially a guy should talk to women ~ and not in a creepy way.
- Do something creative. I write this blog.
Life can be good, no matter what has gone before. But the thing is, you have to show up. Mostly Life will not come to you, mostly you have to at least meet Life half way.
Today I am a very cool guy, living a great life. And you know why that is? Because I say it is.
fly me away
How many miles must a man travel, before he finds himself?
This year I’ve been to some interesting places, for example;
starting with California
Oludeniz in Turkey
Llandudno in Wales
Albuquerque in New Mexico
and more California
and was I happy with all that travelling?
you bet I was