Songs on Saturday ~ Leo Sayer
Inside my heart may be breaking, my smile may be faking it, but the show must go on
Those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder may identify with this song.
Nice to know we are not the only crazy ones.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I always rent a Mustang,
that has to count for something.
Leaving On a Bus
I don’t know when I’ll be back to Turkey again
Today is the last day of my vacation in Oludeniz, Turkey ~ which as it goes is a very nice place, thoroughly to be recommended to the more relaxed traveller.
Those of us from the more civilised parts of Europe and North America, (Turkey isn’t in Europe), may occasionally become frustrated / annoyed by the casual attitude of the Turks, and the macho misogynistic ways of Turkish men ~ but it’s not all so very different to the Hispanics I’ve come accross in California. So, the plumbing is dodgy, the traffic is manic, and wi-fi here only works when it feels like it….. But, so what.
The weather in the later part of the summer is gorgeous, the genuinely Turkish food is marvellous, and the Mediterranean is a deep calm, shimmering turquoise. What I will remember most of course are the smells; woodsmoke, cooking, coffee, the sea, Turkish cigarettes, drains, and often very stinky Turks.
Ah, c’est la vie.
~
Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
there’s still a lot of parasailing here
I still haven’t done it
Monochrome Monday ~ Smoking Hot
Love is a smoke made up with the fume of sighs. ~ Shakespeare
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
It takes a certain type of woman to accept a light when she’s only wearing black lingerie
and lots of makeup, and earrings, and probably tall heels
Why Stop Stacking Rocks?
making a rock stack is a kind of environmental graffiti
those are gigantic, natural ‘rock stacks’
There are those environmentalists who urge people not to build rock stacks because it’s meaningless environmental graffiti, and disturbs the natural world. And there are those other environmentalists who would like us all to reduce our carbon footprint by stopping flying cattle-class to take our two-week annual vacation in the sun, as all the while they take a dozen trips a month on private jets to speak at meaningless green conferences. There are also those beggar-my-neighbour lunatics who would like to have building a little rock stack made illegal.
Man has been making piles of stones since the dawn of time, usually making big heaps of stones called cairns to mark a footpath ~ in the days when losing your way was a deadly mistake. No doubt some Neolithic nutters were against that too. Mind you I think it’s a damn shame that man cut down most of the ancient woodland here in England.
Unless you’re digging up stones with a lot of critters underneath, then the environmental impact of making a rock stack is effectively zilch. Anyone can easily unmake it at any time. But then ‘environmentally friendly’ ‘people are never really live-and let live types.
Some say that people should be banned from all the ‘unspoilt’ places on the planet. And don’t do as I do, do as I say. All I know is that the world would be a better place if most of the ‘environmentally friendly ‘ people packed their bags and left.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
probably someone wanted to ban building Stonehenge, that’s a rock stack
Vacation Hotels
he’s climbing a stairway to heaven
In my time travelling the world on business I stayed in some great hotels, (like The Plaza in Manhattan), some so so hotels, (like The Krazna Polski in Amsterdam), and some truly terrible hotels. And yet, the hotels and motels I’ve stayed at on vacation come into an entirely surreal category all of their own.
I stayed in a castle in Tuscany one time, in the highest room, in the tallest tower, and that meant carrying my luggage up more than 100 steps to what was, admittedly a very nice suite with a spectacular view. The porter was at least as old as the castle, there was no way he would make it up that winding staircase carrying my then memsahib’s suitcase.
The Golden Life Heights hotel in Oludeniz, Turkey, has more stairs than that. From the lowest part of the garden, where my room is, up to reception there are exactly 144 steps / stairs. Climbing that 8 or 10 times a day gets to be a drag. As it goes, the room I’m in now is my 2nd here ~ the bathroom in the first offering was flooded, about a half-inch deep over the entire bathroom floor.
Despite my complaints I endured that flooded bathroom for 3 days until an e-mail to the tour company back in the UK got me a better room, with it’s own sun deck and a dry bathroom floor.
If you ever need to complain, don’t bother talking to the monkey, instead find the head organ-grinder.
When is comes to a surrealisticly terrible hotel, this one is in a class all of it’s own.
Although the pools are fabulous.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the pools are the best things about this hotel.
Vacation Drinking
water and booze should only ever meet in a glass
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Here in very hot and sunny Turkey I’ve suddenly noticed how much people drink on vacation. And, maybe I’ve only noticed because I’ve been sober for a little while. Not so long ago I would have been boozing along with the best, and totally oblivious to how much others drank, or as is less likely, didn’t drink.
I am minded to think that copious quantities of alcohol, holiday uninhibitedness, skimpy clothing, heat, sun and deep water could lead to more sorts of trouble than one.
Some say that vacations are a time for fun, and never mind the consequences. And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. All I know is that whatever you do and wherever you do it, there will be consequences afterwards. There is no such thing as a free ride.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I have pictures of people boozing,
but there are privacy issues
Inebriated Woman
there’s a reason some women do that sometimes
I really didn’t think
she was always drinking
just usually very drunk
and high on skunk
and I shrank back
from ever thinking
about who she fucked
when she’d been drinking
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
strong drink gets weak women into trouble
Cooling Off
It’s very nice to go travelling, preferably to somewhere the plumbing didn’t leak.
The hotel I’m staying at in Turkey has a couple of really cool pools
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Plus a pool that’s not so cool. My bathroom floor is still flooded. Jeez, that’s Johnny Foreigner for you. I could get hot under the collar about that.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
90+ degrees and sunny
Tunes on Tuesday ~ Creed
hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die,
life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
This track was introduced to me by a cool lady who follows this blog. And, here’s the thing, the very first time I played this, it moved me man.
My life is exactly here.
Sometimes music is more than just sounds.
I was hoping for a weirder video track though but.
Please don’t get dragged down by responsibilities and expectations.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
wants, needs, desires, dreams, and wishes
don’t ever let them go
Angry Sadness
Mania and depression all at once means;
the will to die and the motivation to make it happen.
sometimes we entrap ourselves
Agitated depression and borderline personality disorder are an extremely dangerous and confusing set of mixed mental / emotional / spiritual states. Those of us who are unfortunate enough to suffer from a personality disorder, or serious character defect, often become confused because we sometimes seem to have two or more totally different and opposite problems at one in the same time. Believe me, I’ve been there more than once.
Have you ever felt really tired, but keyed-up and tense at the same time? You want to go to sleep but you’re full of energy and can’t relax? Or, you feel really melancholy, depressed, and sad, but at the same time you are very hurt and angry and want to strike out against whoever it is that’s hurt you. These contradictory conditions are a sign of something called Comorbitity, where one or more medical / mental / emotional / spiritual conditions are co-occurring with a primary problem.
Perhaps the most common instances of comorbitity are between people diagnosed with a mental illness who also abuse booze, drugs, and prescription medication. Addicts and alcoholics are often also mentally ill.
Anger, rage, and fury alongside sadness, melancholia, and depression at one in the same time don’t actually make a lot of sense. Anger is a very active emotion requiring a hell of a lot of mental and emotional energy, (and taken to extremes a lot of physical energy), whereas sadness and depression are passive emotions which sap energy and leave the sufferer incapable of doing very much at all.
More typical would be a period of extreme anger, followed by remorse, guilt, and sadness. Not the two things going on at once. But, especially in men, anger and depression often go hand in hand.
However, anyone who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder will be aware of just how chancy that diagnosis was, and may well have been misdiagnosed by several doctors / psychiatrists / psychologists / therapists before their correct diagnosis, and hence correct treatment was discovered, (found by accident). A hell of a lot of people who have Borderline Personality Disorder will at first have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
In fact there are 9 or 10 distinct personality disorders, and very often a sufferer will have symptoms or traits of more than one of these disorders, at one in the same time. As if it’s not bad enough suffering from just one of these life-destroying mental illnesses.
So if you’re confused about your illness, or the way your loved one / partner / friend behaves, don’t worry. Instead put in the hard work and learn about what’s exactly going on ~ start with the internet, then talk with your doctors.
Some say that all alcoholics and addicts are just plain crazy. And that they just never know how their partner is going to be from one minute to the next. All I know is they’re both right.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
we all have demons inside us,
sometimes more than just one.
