Tag Archives: Spirituality

do not be just another sheep in the flock

To really live, first escape from the prison you made for yourself.

Some change, some significant shift in the way I think and feel has allowed me to better understand the infinite intricacies of life, to see my true inner self, and consequently gain a much greater self-awareness and feeling of self-confidence.

I firmly believe that I can now rise above the obstacles and pit-falls of this crazy chaotic life in a determined and assertive way.  I know that I can follow the warrior’s path to happiness and genuine fulfillment.  Quite suddenly and unexpectedly, there is a forceful and innovative energy bubbling away in the depths of my subconsciousness.  Taken together this means that, since my return from a weird vacation in Turkey, I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to strike out on my own, to feel confident and liberated, in control of what is happening in my own life.

I have always had a great deal of financial freedom, but emotionally and spiritually I have been utterly repressed, a prisoner of my own inadequacies and the negativity of others.  Now I need to engage my true strengths and inner abilities ~ I guess working out how to do that may take a little longer than I think.

I have always had a strong character and a strong will, but always seemed to be afraid of leaving the well established fortress of my comfort zone.  I believe that I am no longer fearful of releasing my strong will and doing things quite differently from other people.

In my life it’s been much easier to follow the flow of everyone else, but that route will never allow anyone to reach their destiny and discover their own ultimate truth.  It seems now is the time for me to become more of a leader, and less of just another sheep in the flock,

Perhaps it really is time for me to break free of the limitations I have created for myself, and others have created for me, by trying to conform to what I think I ‘should’ be doing.  You can please some of the people most of the time if you do what they want, but no matter what you do, you can’t please all your family and friends all of the time.

To begin with, my new and different attitude felt rebellious and disrespectful, but I now know that if I don’t dare to be different, I will never realise just how much I can enjoy This Life.

Some say that you only get one chance to remake your life into what you have always wanted it to be.  And, that everyone who is close to you will do everything they can to stop you from breaking away.  All I know is that I can and will do just what my destiny calls me to do.

I am no longer a prisoner, I am a free man.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

sometimes all you need is a very cool car

 

Inspired and Motivated

Life has many ways of testing a man’s will and inner strength.

Yesterday I joined a different gym here in my little seaside town.  I had not been regularly using the ‘old gym’, and they had increased their prices.  Often the walk there, around the marina, was so interesting and distracting that I never made the gym at all.

I’m pretty surprised that I just went ahead and joined a new gym, without hesitation, procrastination, or much thinking about it.  But then, since my recent vacation in Turkey, I’m a changed man.  In Turkey I had a bit of an epiphany.

I know that I’m now venturing on yet another important evolutionary step on the warrior’s path to discover what I am truly capable of, and I have come to know that I have an immense inner strength.  Part of my journey along the warrior’s path is knowing what this inner strength and power is, and how I can use it, for the greater good, in my daily existence.

You have power over your mind ~ not outside events.  Realise this, and you will find strength.  ~  Marcus Aurelius

My goal is to unearth and understand this power and strength from the depths of my subconscious mind, my heart, and my soul.  I have something to say and I need to learn how to say it.  Perhaps I need to break away from traditional approaches and practices and accept that I am now a unique individual that deserves to receive more recognition and respect for who I have worked so hard to become.

As I was taking my leave from the new friends I had made on vacation, a very together lady said to me that; ‘You are a very different kind of man from most…..’  She said that and more in a very caring way.

However, right now I still do not feel as fully in charge of my own destiny as I could be.  I know that I need a clearer vision of what lies ahead of me.  I need to work towards more balance, acceptance, understanding.  I need courage.  I need to use my new-found self-awareness, self-confidence, inspiration and motivation.  And, I need to eliminate negative energies and negative people from my life.

I know, trust, and believe that I am capable of forging my own path, that I have a manifest destiny to reach, a destiny that is not intended for anyone else, at least for no one who cannot share my vision, needs, wants, dreams, and desires.

It is time to explore my dreams and to experiment with the strength and power I suddenly possess.  I need to become connected with who I really am, and I need to better connect with those I care for.  I want and need to become the real Renaissance Man that some have thought I have always been.  Until now I believe that I have always fallen short of that ideal.

Some say that we take for granted those things that are most deserving of our attention.  And, that most people never show up for their Appointment with Life.  All I know is that Real Life is what happens to you while you are busy making pointless plans.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke likes to sunbathe on one of the historic ships moored in the marina

 

Follow Your Dreams

The future is not something we enter.
The future is something we create.

My dreams have always been the fuel for my success.  Without my dreams there could never have been any meaningful and lasting success in my life.  And, some say I have been very successful ~ depending on how you measure success.

I firmly believe that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled.  That all enlightened people have come to their enhanced state of happiness through achieving at least one of their dreams.  There must always be something in your life that motivates, drives, excites, and captivates you, otherwise you are not living, you are just existing.  Or, you may as well be living in a doorway on a sheet of cardboard.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential….. these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.  ~  Confucius

My dreams became the goals that pushed me to believe in the impossible, to make interesting and unexpected changes in my life, to get out of my comfort zone and take unimagined risks.

Sometimes we choose to ignore or forget what it is that we really love, want, need, and desire.  We let ourselves be guided and driven by other people’s’ expectations.  We think my parents will never support my ideas, and, my wife will never allow me to do this…..

A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, courage, and hard work.  Colin Powell

Really successful people never forget what they love to do, what they want, what they need, what they desire and lust after.  Fortunate men and women learn to follow their own path and make the right choices ~ no matter how crazy or unpopular those choices might appear to others, especially parents and partners.

Think about this; If money was not an issue, what kind of life and work would you choose to have.  Would you choose to live, or would you choose to just exist?  If you aim to be perfect, if you aim to please everyone all of the time, then you will be very disappointed.

Some say that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled.  And, that we should create plans, solutions, and strategies to achieve our wildest dreams.  All I know is that today I live an enlightened life that others don’t even dare to dream about.

Sometimes, the Magic happens.

~

jack collier

email:  jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

last night, the England soccer team were not truly following their dream

lusts wants needs desires

When I am true to myself, I am strong beyond measure.

the application of will

continues to tempt me still

uninhibited too dangerous thrill

urges wants desires needs emotional

uninhibited casual sexual relationships fill

my life with seductress midnight encounters

hazardous erotic carnal liaisons midnight hours

rash instant gratification sensual lustful animal urges

I know that I should have become a better man than that

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the path to freedom from suffering

is through self-discipline in body, mind, and spirit

Enlightenment

Inner tranquility ~ freedom from anger, anxiety, and fear.

There was something weird about my short stay in Turkey.  Was it the place, or the people, or the blue, blue sky?  Was it getting enough good sleep, good food, staying sober, staying calm?  Or, was it the long, meaningful, and mindful conversations I enjoyed?  Or was it some inner spirituality that was awoken in me? I suspect all of these things and more combined to wrought a significant change in my psyche.

For me this was a jumping-off point.  I lost some things, I lost negativity, I lost the way I was used to seeing the world, I lost judgmentalism, I lost my mistrust of others, I lost my fear and anger, and I learned how to fly…..

Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe. ~  C. JoyBell C.

I had not been there long before I knew a radical freedom that allowed me to seek acceptance, humility, integrity, mindfulness, and understanding of myself, of those around me, and of those I care for.  I was encouraged to take a new control and responsibility for my own life ~ I believe that most of us, (up to and including me), are not in control of our own lives.  Rather most of us drift aimlessly through life, so that today is pretty much like yesterday, and tomorrow will be pretty much like today.

That isn’t really living, it’s just existing, and that’s no way to explore true happiness and well-being.  To know true happiness and well-being we perhaps should strive to improve and enhance our own lives, the lives of those we care for, and society as a whole.

Within the real meaning of human happiness and enhanced existence, within our aims, significance, and overall purpose, we all have the freedom to choose what to do, to be who we want to be.  Sadly so many of us never even try to grow into an enlightened being.

After a couple of days in the mindfulness of my Turkish vacation I began to seek to understand things, to understand the interconnectedness of all things, and the ways to find the significance of my own life among the chaos.

The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all darkness.  ~  Nikos Kazantzakis

I realised that each of us is what we take ourselves to be.  But to live in an authentic, caring, and mindful way, we each have to take each situation as it comes and show our true nature through what we do, and not what we say.  Talk is cheap.

I was always frightened to show my true nature.  I was a shadow man, the man in the mirror, I was always conforming to what others expected of me, putting on masks that fitted the roles I was expected to play.  I saw the world through a winter mirror, darkly.

After just one week in a small Turkish hotel, under blue, blue skies, among a group of friendly and supportive people, I was able to throw away the masks, stop playing a role, eschew the man in the mirror, and really take charge of my own life.

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.  ~  Lao Tzu

Today, back in the garret, I am self-analytical, self-aware, self-confident, and filled with real self-control, and self-discipline.

Now I need to act in a way that reflects my new self-awareness, and the awareness of my own complete freedom.  This is what I am, this is what I choose to be, this is the real me, and I will never again dodge responsibility for being true to myself.

I do not pretend to understand how this enlightenment came about.  Probably it was a unique set of serendipitous circumstances, a synchronicity that has energised me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Some say that once in a lifetime your chance comes along, that once in a lifetime fate deals you the perfect winning hand.  And, that we each have to be courageous enough to take that chance, to throw everything we have behind our one great opportunity in Life.  All I know is that today I feel better than I have ever felt before in my entire existence.

My short stay in Turkey was the kindling of a flame.

~

jack collier

jack collier7@talktalk.net

 

each man is an island unto himself

Synchronicity

inexplicable interconnectedness in everyday magic.

Sometimes a vacation is more than just a holiday.  Sometimes chance meetings have a deeper meaning than just ‘hello’.

This vacation happened by chance.  Everyone I have met in the past few days I have met by chance.  Every meaningful event from the past few days happened as a result of the chance interconnectedness of all things.

And yet, in the past few days,  three events that I needed to happen have come to fruition.

I did not know that I needed these experiences, but now they have occurred I know they are vital to my emotional and spiritual health.

Firstly, learned that some men are irredeemable bastards, but that doesn’t stop otherwise sensible women liking them and wanting them.

Secondly I learned that friendships between men and women are often just transitory bargains.

Thirdly, I met a man I didn’t know I needed to meet.  We talked of the warrior’s path and borderline personality disorder.  We talked of addiction, drugs, booze, and sex.  We talked of other things.  We talked of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings.

All of those things happened by chance, because by chance I took this little vacation in Turkey.

Sometimes the Magic happens.

 

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Preservation of Self

I am what I am, and that’s a man.

Your feelings are not my feelings, and my feelings are not your feelings

your standards are not my mine,  my standards are not your standards

your past is not my past, and my past is not your past

your life is not my life, and my life is not your life

you are not me, and I am not you

and yet we are friends and lovers

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

The Law of Attraction

All that we see is the result of what we thought.

The things that I thought were the things I desired, and the things that I saw were created by my own wants, needs, and desires.

To see beyond my own expectations is to begin to realise that not everyone thinks as I do ~ not even my enemy or my closest friend.

After the past few days I realise that attraction does not work like a bludgeon that ensures that what you want you will get.  Rather, attraction works through feelings, focus, imagination, patience, and magic.

But then, I’m only an Englishman, so what do I know?

Sometimes, just sometimes, the magic happens.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a man cannot find the friendship of a Goddess by chasing her

one has to await the magic

 

 

Be peaceful in the storm.

So I can’t sit own and let the time of my real being take me, for if I try and for a moment can see no direction, cannot tell where I am going, I am filled with panic, scared of emptiness.   I am driven and must always look to the far horizons.  ~  Joanna Field

For most of my life it seemed that I was afraid of still serenity, uncomfortable of just having nothing to do, and having to make no plans.  I seemed to be happiest if there was a great deal going on around me, as though I was in the midst of a raging storm.

I have come to believe that this was a manifestation of what was going on inside my own mind, that I was driven by a mixture of perfectionism and fear of failure.

My focus seemed to be on what I didn’t have; materially, intellectually, and spiritually.  My glass was always half empty, never half full.

Perhaps that was not such a good place to be.

Instead of bemoaning what I don’t have and the things I feel are wrong with my life, I am changing my attitude to celebrate what I do have.

Today I have an infinite number of choices, and they all begin with me having a positive outlook.  The decisions I make today will have a direct bearing on how meaningful and mindful my life will be.

I am reminded of some words by Ralf Waldo Emerson; This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.

Today I will try to do some good and mindful things with my time.

Today I will be peaceful amid the storms.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Being Mindful and Forgiving

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the lunatic prisoner was you.  ~  Louis B. Smedes.

There has never been much forgiveness in my life, and mostly I have been very unforgiving of myself.  I expect to cope, whatever happens, and be a high achiever.  At times I can act like a lunatic.

This has led me into a very disruptive pattern in my life.  A pattern which others can often recognise better than I can.  These words of advice were sent to me a couple of days ago, by a very good friend.  This is how she describes my life.

  1. High on Life …… very optimistic….. on top of the world.
  2. Sexual buzz is strong.
  3. I forget all the things that were said when I tried to confront past problems and issues
  4. Minor irritation sets in when I don’t feel appreciated.  I become resentful and mistrustful.
  5. I start looking for the hidden dark meaning in things said, or not said.  Become more distrustful, and often angry ~ often very angry with myself.
  6. Get totally pissed-off when feelings, emotions, and thoughts that have no basis in truth fill my mind.  Start to apply twisted logic to situations and conversations.
  7. Voices in my mind tell me to escape, say ‘Fuck It All’, and then I will have a drink or 10.
  8. Go missing from the world for days at a time, during which something very bad will happen.

That’s been the pattern of my life for a very long time.  I need to recognise it, and cut it off at the neck when the darker, depressive thoughts begin.

I agree with my friend that I need to try to live with inner peace, mindfulness, and serenity.

Escaping into booze is no solution.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke lives very peacefully

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