If you do what you always did, then you’ll get what you always got.
As I don’t need to earn a living these days, some may say that my whole life is just one long vacation. Actually it doesn’t quite work like that ~ when I’m at home in the garret my time seems to be filled with lots of ordinary and everyday stuff. Whereas, now I’m here holidaying on Lanzerote I seem to have much more time to just sit in the sunshine and let my thoughts drift where they will.
It seems that I needed to resolve some issues, to reject the things that have blocked me in the past; the people, the choices, the mistakes, the material possessions I thought were so important….. It seems that I need to move away from the material world towards spiritual and emotional growth, and that I need to place less importance on relationships that do not, and perhaps never will, provide what I need and desire.
I need to awaken the strength within me, the spiritual self, the masculinity, ready to fight back against all the negative influences, the misleading promises, the illusions and delusions about what real happiness looks like for me.
There are some dreams and personal ambitions I want to fulfil, particularly in terms of interpersonal relationships, and particularly sexually. I need to fully assert myself to reconnect with my own internal courage, fortitude, and drive.
This vacation has allowed me to see that I need to progress, for the physical desires I have allowed to be unfilled to really come to fruition, that it’s time to leave behind negative people and influences, even if those people have been very close to me in the past.
It’s time I told people exactly what is on my mind, and it’s time for me to take charge and stop shying away from speaking the truth of my innermost wants, needs, desires, and dreams.
Some say that you can get 80% of what you want for just 20% of the efforts you’ve been putting into a relationship. And that if you give some people an inch they will take a mile. All I know is that if people don’t like the truth they can live their lives without my help.
Lanzerote is pretty nice
Friend; A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, usually exclusive of sexual relations.
Have you ever been so sure
that we can be friends
without bending the definition
and sending us into a miasma
of conflicting emotions
opening the deep chasm,
of loneliness, bleak despair
where my life ends
watching the red dawn
for the last time
words and picture by jack collier