The important thing is to enjoy your life to the fullest.
So many of us have a propensity to drift though life, to accept that today will pretty much be the same as yesterday, and that tomorrow will pretty much be the same as today. That is no way to live your life. That isn’t living that’s just existing.
So many of us live as if the most important things in life were going to work, making money, and then making even more money, and then buying expensive status symbols we don’t really need. And yet, we know there is no point whatsoever being the richest corpse in the cemetery. There is no good in lying on your death-bed when your best memories are of bad days at work.
The most beautiful things are not associated with money; they are memories and moments. If you don’t celebrate those, they can pass you by. ~ Alan Wek
What we should all be doing is living life to the fullest, and making good moments we can remember with real pleasure. Carpe Diem ~ Sieze the Day
Here are some personal hints and tips from me, garnered by painful effort and as the result of calamitous mistakes I’ve made over the years. Follow some of these suggestions, and I promise you that your life will get better.
- Make a firm promise to yourself that you are going to make the most of every hour that you have left on this good Earth. Think about your promise to yourself, get the wording right, repeat your promise every day, write it down and keep the words safe.
- Make yourself a list of the things that you really, really want to do. Don’t write down the things you have to do, or the things you should do, just the things you actually want to do. Do not limit yourself to things that sound sensible, possible, or realistic, if you want it, then write it down. DO NOT show your list to anyone else, especially not your partner, (if you have one). Showing this private list to others will cause strife.
- Be brave. Take your courage in both hands and get out there ~ have adventures, slay dragons, meet interesting people, see the far horizons. And remember this; Faint Heart never won fair Lady.
- Don’t ever listen to your parents, partner, lover, family, or friends when they are gainsayers and tell you that you, of all people, can’t ever widen your horizons and do cool stuff.
- Stay fit and healthy. Work at being fit and healthy in body, mind, and spirit. Get a lot of fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. Eat well and healthily. Stop smoking, boozing, and taking drugs. Stand up straight and walk tall into your better world.
- Always look as good as you can. Junk all the crap in your wardrobe and buy new and better stuff. Get a haircut, manicure, pedicure. Lose the fat, paunch, and stoop. Buy decent perfume, cologne, aftershave lotion, make-up, and use it wisely.
- Do not allow yourself to be defined by your job or career. You are not just an airline pilot, doctor, banker, hooker, or whatever. Unless you find your career utterly, totally, indescribably fulfilling, you are not your job. Go to work, if you have to, and at the end of the day walk out and forget it until the next working day.
- Do not allow yourself to be defined by your apparent role in society. You are not just a mother, husband, wife, brother, young person, veteran, bum, drunk, or whatever. You are you, and you can be just about anything you set your mind to be. If people try to pigeon-hole you, then maybe stop meeting those people.
- Improve your relationships. If you are having problems with someone; parent, partner, child, sibling, friend, co-worker ~ then do the very best you can to make that relationship work better. But remember this; it probably isn’t your fault that certain relationships suck.
- Leave toxic relationships. Some connections with others are just so bad they’re not worth having. If someone does not fill you with pleasurable feelings, if someone actually makes you unhappy, then get out of that relationship. Tell the wazzock to leave you alone, forever, fuck off and have whatever day you want, and please don’t keep in touch.
- Don’t worry about money. If you have a little money in the bank, the bank doesn’t really care about you. Conversely, if you owe the bank a lot of money, then the bank really cares about you. Trust me, I used to be a high-powered banker, so I know all about money.
- Finally, always cultivate and practice a really positive, optimistic, and never-say-die attitude. A positive physical, mental, and spiritual attitude goes a long way to making your life better, and the world a better place to be.
Nobody can suddenly start to do all of these things at once. Some of my suggestions may be a big leap from the humdrum greyness you’re languishing in. Start with one change today, do one thing from my list, keep doing whatever good thing that is. Then, when you’re ready, start doing another really cool thing, form good habits, and have a Great Life.
be prepared, buy a medical kit
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The mystery of the vanishing blog post.
My blog post for today, Monday November 13th, has vanished.
It was called; Interpersonal Relationships and Sex.
And, when I wrote it, I thought it was pretty good. It included some monochrome pictures similar to the one I’ve shared here.
Actually, on reflection, it was a terrible post, and I’m now so very glad that the fates decided to get rid of it on my behalf.
If anyone should find this lost blog post, could they be so kind as to return it to me so I can put it out of its misery.
(You know what? I do believe that WordPress have fucked-up. How lucky is that?)
Pouring wine onto yourself means you might be crazy.
There are a lot of crazy and insane people in this world, and I should know because I used to be one of them. Strictly speaking crazy means you’re wild and possibly aggressive, while insane means you have an abnormal view of the world. Both mean that you can’t interact normally with other people, and that any relationship you’re in is likely to lurch from one crisis to another.
Symptoms of being crazy and insane include extremes of; being intense and passionate, being unstable, doing stupid and dangerous things on an impulse, self-harm, excessive consumption of booze, taking drugs, smoking marijuana, engaging in cheap and meaningless sex, nudity at inappropriate times, mood swings, explosive bad temper, insomnia, extremes of jealousy, panic, paranoia, schizophrenia, feelings of worthlessness, depression, euphoria, and quite a few more personality disorders and character defects.
Most crazy and insane people have most of the above problems some of the time, and most of us have self-diagnosed and tried to cure ourselves with much more of the same things that drove us crazy in the first place.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein
Or we try to cure ourselves by switching from one crazy and insane set of behaviours to another~ say from depression and melancholia to copious quantities of booze and indulging in unsafe meaningless cheap sex.
I wouldn’t recommend alcohol, sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me. Hunter S. Thompson
How do we know if we’re crazy and insane, or as ‘normal’ as the rest of the crazy people out there?
One person’s craziness is another person’s reality. ~ Tim Burton
Some say that if you have to ask yourself the question, ‘Am I going crazy‘ then you probably are insane and crazy. And, that if anyone else says that you’re crazy, then most likely you are. Of course, you can find Am I Insane?, Personality Disorder Tests, and Just How Insane Am I? tests online. Or, find your own online insanity / craziness tests. Your results might surprise you ~ a lot.
The last time I took one of these on-line tests, to see if I was suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, I came out at the extreme bad end of the scale.
Alternatively you could just look for these attitudes, feelings, and behaviours in yourself;
- Delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, jealousy, anger
- Mania, depression, thoughts of suicide
- Memory loss, personality changes and mood swings, time and place distortions and disorientation
- Talking to yourself, talking to your pets and plants, giving unwanted and unsolicited advice, believing in angels, demons, extraterrestrial abduction, ghosts, gods and goddesses, past lives, and witches.
If you suffer from / truly believe in any of the above, it may mean that while you are doing the best you can, and are thinking deeply and seriously about yourself and your issues, you’re not thinking clearly, and you may be a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.
The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. ~ Nikola Tesla
Another sign of utterly crazy insanity is being addicted to anything; Alcohol, Anger, Coffee, Cough Medicine, Drugs, Food, Gambling, Jealousy, Laziness, Masturbation, Pornography, Prescription Drugs, Sex, Shopping, Smoking, Social Media, Technology, Trivia, or Work. (Trust me, people can and do get addicted to just about anything.)
Perhaps the easiest things to check to see if you really are an addict is to see if you’re suffering from; alcoholism, drug addiction, or sexual addiction. Alcoholics Anonymous have a very, very good self test that will let you know if you’ve slipped from being a social drinker to an insane boozer. There are similar self tests for drug addiction and sexual addiction.
However, the chances are that if you find yourself ever taking one of these tests, then you are already crazy, insane, and slightly weird. That doesn’t mean you are bad and stupid, it means that you’re unwell.
I’ll take weird and crazy over stupid any day. ~ Joss Whedon
Of course, another sign of being crazy, deranged, insane, peculiar, strange, unstable, unusual, or weird, is doing things in secret and lying about what you’ve done afterwards. And, lying includes lying by omission, refusing to say anything at all, and only telling part of the truth.
The problem with slightly crazy people is they do crazy things ~ and you will know this to your cost if you’ve ever dated a bunny-boiler, stalker, self-confessed witch… or any of the other strange people out there.
So if you’ve been a little bit crazy recently, acting like a sack of cats in a thunderstorm, how do you recover?
- Fully and honestly accept that you haven’t been doing so well lately.
- Figure out / try and remember just what the hell you’ve been doing that’s so bad you’re reluctant to even admit it to yourself.
- Go and see your doctor and honestly tell them what’s been going on.
- Take whatever medication your doctor advises.
- Stop self-medicating with booze, drugs, sex, or whatever.
- See a professional counsellor / therapist for whatever flavour of crazy insane you’ve been.
- Get plenty of fresh air, exercise, and sleep.
- Have a good diet, eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.
- Try soothing and calming stuff; meditation, restful music, reading uplifting books, talking long walks in the forest or by the sea, yoga
- Apologise to everyone you have harmed, unless doing so will only make things worse.
- Make a solemn promise to yourself to be a ‘better’ person.
- Just get through each day without being a totally evil crazy insane wazzock, just one day at a time.
In my case I was completely crazy and insane due to a chronic lack of critical vitamins and minerals in my blood, (potassium and thiamine) ~ because I wasn’t eating properly. The symptoms of a lack of potassium, and a lack of thiamine are quite severe~ literally you go crazy insane, and possibly die.
The upside is that within a couple of days of taking prescribed, very strong, vitamin and mineral supplements I made a miraculous recovery. Today I feel very well indeed, in body, mind and spirit.
So however bad you may feel;
nil desperandum ~ carpe diem ~ noli illegitimi carborundum
and that’s crazy.
click on the book to learn more
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Ladies sometimes behave badly and lie about it afterwards.
Commonplace denial of truths
conspiracy theories masking fictions
black smoke rising as manifest realities
unbearable burden tattered preoccupations
endlessly survived, displacements deprivations
endure prolonged lies fact togetherness separations
careless cheap deceit deception falsehood treachery lies
Commonplace denial of truths and love’s long-lost affections
Commonplace denial of lies
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click on the book for insight
Yoga is a type of meditation ~ and done properly it’s difficult.
Calling this post Yoga for Men isn’t as sexist or as misogynistic as you may think. When I was a much younger chap, far more cynical, and much less worldly-wise, I used to think yoga was a bit ‘strange’. In my mind yoga was something that girls did, and perhaps men who were a bit metrosexual. Now that I’ve grown up a bit I realise that yoga can be a strenuous and difficult workout ~ the kind of workout that hurts while you’re doing it and makes you ache afterwards.
It turns out that there are lots of reasons why more men should regularly practice yoga. Some say that yoga strengthens your immune system and relieves stress. And, that regular yoga improves muscle tone, flexibility, agility, posture, stamina, and core strength. All I know is that regular yoga exercises and nurtures my body, mind, and spirit. Some also say that yoga will give you a better sex life.
Just in case you don’t know, yoga involves holding postures, and holding some of these postures for any length of time can be damn difficult. Even the few, (simple), postures I use require a great deal of strength, balance, and concentration. Because holding these postures take a lot of strength and stamina, your muscles become more toned and develop greater power and endurance.
Yoga also helps with proper breathing, better posture, better balance, better concentration, better digestion, and increased mindfulness and serenity. Regular and difficult yoga improves the way you look, stand, walk, and talk. I have been told, by a very close friend, that regular yoga also greatly improves one’s sex life, and increases the pleasure you can give to your partner. Also, some yoga poses work as great sex positions and increase the intensity of the female orgasm. Allegedly, it’s possible for women to have an orgasm just from doing yoga. Who knew?
So, these are the yoga positions I use regularly, and if I have the names wrong… well I’m not a yoga instructor.
The Tree. This classical, impressive, and elegant position promotes strength and balance in your feet, ankles, legs, and core. Like all yoga positions I’ve tried it also aids concentration, calms your breathing, and improves your grasp of mindfulness. Don’t worry too much if at first you keep losing your balance, what’s probably happening is that you’ve lost your mental focus. The tree pose puts all your weight on one leg at a time, but the balance, poise, and elegance has to come from the whole body.
Downward Facing Dog. Allegedly, this is one of those yoga poses that’s also a great sexual position ~ I can see that. This position throws a lot of weight on the upper body, wrists, arms, shoulders, and chest. It stretches the whole of the back of your legs and body ~ your spine, arms, shoulders, ankles, calves, and hamstrings. For me, unless I’m doing it wrong, it also strengthens my knees.
The Bridge. This position is especially designed to strengthen your pelvic floor, (and backside), which is good for all kinds of reasons, up to and including sex. The bridge position builds strength in your core and lower body ~ personally I can really feel this in my lower abdomen. This is another of those yoga positions which is also a fabulous sexual position ~ or so I’m told. When I do this, I keep my back straight and my belly flat ~ I have no idea if that’s a good idea or not.
The Plank. I find this pose tremendously difficult, not because I don’t know how to do it, but because it calls for a tremendous amount of strength. Done properly the entirety of one’s body weight is brought into play to build core body strength, exercise the arms and shoulders, and increase one’s fortitude. There are three basic variations of the plank, and the easiest is to rest on your knees rather than stretch out your whole body and rest on your toes. The second easiest is to support your upper body on your forearms, while the hardest of all is to be in a push-up position with all one’s weight on your toes and hands. Right now, I can hold this position for one minute only ~ which is a bit pathetic really.
The Warrior. This should be so easy, trust me, it isn’t. The warrior pose stretches and strengthens the legs and core muscles of the body. For me it also works the arms and shoulders. More than that, this is the one position that should be so easy that I want to do it properly and elegantly. Where that gets difficult is the whole being straight, having one’s belly and backside tight, steadiness and ease thing. The lady in the picture looks a bit wimpy because her right arm is dropping.
Right now I only use these five positions, and the list above is in the order I do this stuff. I hold each position for as long as I can, and that varies from 5 minutes per position, to less than a minute, depending on the pose and how I’m feeling that day. And, again depending on how I’m feeling, I’ll probably run through all five positions a couple or maybe even three times.
However, there are stacks more great yoga positions, and if you really want to learn about yoga, then I should strongly suggest that you take a proper class, there will be one near you. There are even a bunch of good online yoga classes. (I took one actual class at my local gym, once, and never went back ~ but that’s just me). Who knows, you may find yourself alongside some fit, supple, young women. Who will probably make you feel totally inadequate.
painted, soignée in ethereal moonlight
sweet as ripened fig, breast soft dove
gladly welcoming me in quiet night
willing open giving sensual love
exploring passion and delight
moaning soft as she comes
quiet rest holding tight
as stars shine above
As good-looking as a high-priced hooker, and with the same kind of sex appeal. (Just think of a 2/3 scale Corvette Stingray.) Sex appeal is the one damn good reason to own a Marcos. It’s not a self-effacing little car.
This thing started life in 1964 with a plywood chassis, (later replaced with steel tubing), and if you’re thinking about buying one of those early cars watch out for wood-rot. The Mantis is actually a very clever little car, designed by a couple of brilliant guys; Jem Marsh and Frank Costin, (hence MarCos). It’s as rare as hen’s teeth and a good one will set you back £15,000 or so, which is bloody expensive for a pocket rocket.
The Marcos was built with Ford, Volvo, and Rover engines, but whatever engine is fitted, driving a Marcos is a frightening experience. It’s lower than your hips and from the driver’s seat the long-long bonnet is just about you can see.
Forget a Marcos if you’re over about 5’9″, fat, and can’t touch your toes. Getting in and out is not easy. Once inside it’s a comfortable place to sit, except the seat doesn’t adjust, (the pedal box does), and it will smell of hot plastic, (and perhaps damp carpets / damp leather).
If you like cool cars, you will adore the little Marcos. If you’re a cool girl / woman, your sex-appeal is geometrically multiplied if you arrive driving a Marcos, although you will flash a lot of leg getting in and out of the thing. Oh, that’s good for your sex appeal too.
A word of warning, it’s impossible to have sex in a Marcos.
Saying anything else is utterly superfluous.
Some people are like clouds…
After they Fuck Off it turns into a nice day.
In England, under a law first enacted in 1601. it is still a criminal offence to use offensive language in public.
You wouldn’t think so. In a recent performance at the Glastonbury Festival popular singer Adele threw 33 expletives at a crowd and television audience which included young children. Adele couldn’t even get through the opening song of her set without swearing, stopping half way though Hello to shout, ‘You Are F*****G Amazing!’
Adele is a good singer ~ she is also offensive to anyone with an ounce of morals and more intelligence than a gnat.
I may be among a small minority who still find bad language insulting, rude, objectionable, annoying and repellent. Not only that, bad and offensive language is so ubiquitous on the streets where I live, that you’d think I should be inured when F**k, C**t, T**t, S**t are about every third word in the ignorant speech of the lower classes here.
Recent research by respectable scientists has shown that hearing or reading bad langauge increases stress levels, and promotes very negative reactions, among listeners who have even an iota of common decency.
Sadly, for me at least, it is impossible to escape disgusting language. People I know habitually swear, people I care for sprinkle their discourse with F**k and S**t, and even on live television I can’t get away from nasty expletives. (Live television and radio in the UK is really live, there is no inbuilt delay to allow for instant censorship). A respected BBC presenter said c**t when introducing a politician named Jeremy Hunt ~ although James Naughtie later said it was a mistake. (That whole sentence is so filled with innuendo as to be ridiculous.)
If I find myself with a group of people where the conversation is filled with bad language, I will just walk away, and cross the offenders off my ‘friends’ lists. I would do the same thing if I was in a relationship where my partner habitually used cuss words.
To me, men, and especially women, who use bad language are degrading themselves.
pictures by jack collier