Tag Archives: Sex

What Turns You On?

real love is confidence, acceptance, and understanding

what women want

You will not be surprised to learn that I still have no real idea what women want, other than security and steadfastness.  I sort-of know that women want, need, and desire things like trust, respect, acceptance, understanding, and somebody with enough money to look after them.  And that some people have kinks that we wouldn’t want to imagine.  But, what do women really want?

So, obviously I checked a website, and came up with dross.  It seems that women want, need, and desire; confidence, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, emotional honesty, respect, and a sense of humour.  Jeez, the woman who wrote that must have been dating the slob next door lookalikes or guys in their twenties.  Apart from the emotional honesty thing.

Almost no men are emotionally honest, not even with themselves.  Asking for emotional honesty from a man is like asking for him to hold a conversation and walk up a flight of stairs at one in the same time.

I checked some other sites and the women writing them came up with things like;  vulnerability, stability, equality, awareness, emotional presence, interestedness, protectiveness, acceptance, and assertiveness.  Some slightly iffy and slightly contradictory stuff there.

I’m a man, and from bitter experience I will tell you exactly what women want when it comes to men.

  • Looks, Presence, Physicality, Command Ability.  In general women do not get turned on by a Forrest Gump played by a Danny Devito type, but they do get turned on by Bond played by Connery.  A big dick helps.
  • Money.  I don’t give a shit what any woman says, while some woman might fuck a hot-looking pauper, it’s not what they really want need and desire.  They want a man who pays for dinner, sends flowers, dresses nicely, has a cool car, and can afford to take them on expensive vacations.
  • Power.  Power is the greatest aphrodisiac there is, according to Plato.  Why else would any woman sleep with some notable politicians?
  • Intellect.  Unless she is a bimbo, women want a man who can hold a conversation, knows where Canada is, and can discuss anything, anytime, with anybody.
  • Talent.  Women do not like talent-less men, and whatever talent he has better be masculine.  Not many women are turned-on by a guy who is good at quilting.  Women prefer men who can fix their car at two in the morning, in the pouring rain.
  • Listening.  Women like to talk, and they prefer it when the man they are dating actually listens instead of constantly talking over them or being bored.  Listening to a woman, any woman, is a learned skill for men.
  • Steadfastness.  Women like men who are there for them 24/7 365, no matter what.

Of course this is based on an unscientific straw-poll, and the answers depended on how much the women I polled had to drink.  And, there is more, and not all women are the same, and some men have hidden depths.  But I know, from being able to listen, that a woman who lets go a man who ticks all the boxes I’ve listed above regrets it forever.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

looks and being able to ride a motorcycle are enough for one woman I’ve known

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Simply Irresistible

there’s nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who says she loves him
it’s just a crying shame that she’s so often lying

This hot Robert Palmer track may be a bit gratuitously erotic sexual sexist, but it illustrates my point very well.  Some women are almost irresistible.

A woman can be sexy at twenty, gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and simply irresistible for the rest of her life.

A man should follow his heart, but remember to take his brain along with him.

Please listen with a sense of humour.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

almost as irresistible as a woman

 

 

 

 

Complaisant

if you try to please everybody, you end up pleasing nobody

Unless you are a sociopath or a narcissist you will tend to want to make other people happy.  If you are in a romantic relationship you will tend to want to please your partner.  If you are a child you will tend to want to please your parents, teachers, and just about every other adult you interact with.  There are exceptions; we all have bad days when we couldn’t give a fuck, there are some people we don’t care about at all, and there are some other people we dislike so much that we are at the other end of the people-pleasing spectrum.

And then there are those of us to get sucked into the role of a people-pleaser, continually doing what other people want us to do, always saying yes when we should be saying no, and trying to find ways to ingratiate ourselves with people who take us for granted.  We become the epitome of a people-pleasing fool because there is something in our past that made us eager to please someone in authority over us, (and / or someone we loved), for the sake of our own safety, sanity, or just because that was the only way we would ever get any attention or affection.

For a lot of my life I was trapped in the role of a people-pleaser, because my feelings of self-worth were so low as to be almost non-existent, and I was always looking to others to validate myself.  My self-esteem was whatever other people told me it was, and that was doubly so for women I liked and / or was in a relationship with.  I was a prisoner.

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.  ~  Lao Tzu

Once someone consciously or subconsciously realises just how much they are being taken for a fool, then they have some chance of escaping that submissive, subservient, complaisant role.  And, other people will not like that at all.  I stopped being a people-pleasing serf a little while ago, and some said a lot of unpleasant things to and about me.  Yet the people who truly cared for me were happy for me, and encouraged me to go on steadfastly walking the true warriors path of independence, courage, confidence, determination, and kindness.

Some say they exist to please their master / mistress.  And that if they didn’t take care of everyone else in their life, then who else would?  All I know is that you can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

just because she enjoys being submissive doesn’t mean she is someone’s doormat

if not for her

cheating doesn’t come from a lack of love
it comes from a lack of respect

~

I saw you with that whore

open dress public amore

that’s only the final coup

guess that we’re through

nobody to blame but you

you could never be true

got to find someone new

well baby it’s a fond adieu

so stew you faithless bore

you can’t hurt me anymore

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

did you have to choose someone older?

 

last night’s loves

be patient, the best things happen at night

~

last night she realised that he never looked into her eyes

but she was happy he was staring at her deep cleavage instead

~

I love you…..’ she said softly, ‘please take your clothes off for me…..’

‘these aren’t clothes…..’ he replied

‘you’re a werewolf at night, are’t you?’ she asked excitedly

~

she came, and then

she came to the conclusion that car sex was much safer late at night

~

at midnight all she had left were half-remembered thoughts of love

~

last night, when he said he wanted to sleep with her

she expected him to stay awake for a while first

~

last night she wanted him

she wanted him to leave her alone

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

in a bar, very close to midnight

the black widow searched for her next victim

Random Jottings ~ Vampyres

loving a vampire usually ends quite badly

~

never kiss a vampire in the pale moonlight

~

when vampires go flying and bats are seen

the moon laughs and whispers

’tis near Halloween

~

she told me it was love at first bite

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vampires embrace the moonlight shadows

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‘I have a bloodthirsty mind, and you’re on it Darling’

~

loving a vampire ~ a short life full of draining incidents

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every good vampyre deserves a chance to bite a virgin’s neck

~

she’s the only vampire I know who takes her phone into her coffin

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

oral sex with a vampire is interesting

The Snake In My Head

you cannot fix something if you don’t know it’s broken

Each and every one of us is programmed ~ what we think, what we believe, how we behave, what we like and what we dislike are automatic responses, programmed reactions and actions buried deep in our subconscious.  Our conscious minds only govern what we do about 10% of the time, and most of the time what our conscious minds do, think, and feel is based on all that stuff way down in our unconsciousness.  So, if you are scared of snakes, it isn’t a conscious thing, it’s actually a primeval race-memory so far down in your subconscious you don’t even know it’s there until the first time you come across a serpent.

If you have problems in your life, if you can’t handle certain situations, if you keep lurching from one disastrous relationship to another, then you are not consciously doing that on purpose.  A string of dysfunctional relationships in your past, and the likelihood that you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again in the future, means that there is something dysfunctional with the tapes in your unconscious mind.

The scary thing is that all that programming, all of your beliefs, behaviors, and opinions were put there before you were seven years old.  The adults in your life; your parents, your wider family, older siblings, teachers impressed their thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, and prejudices upon your unformed mind while you were still a child.  And there was nothing whatsoever you could do about it.  Ergo, if you are a borderline alcoholic, drug addict, a heavy smoker, or obese ~ it’s not all your own fault.  If you’re promiscuous, dishonest, and continually finding yourself in toxic relationships, then that’s not completely your fault either.  It’s because you were taught all those things when you didn’t know any better.

Before I was five years old I was taught that women are lying bitches, and that men who have anything to do with women are bad.  I was taught that sex is nasty, dirty, and wrong.  I was taught that love is meaningless, that interpersonal relationships are always toxic, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin that will send me to hell.  I know who did that to me.

It took me right up until a few days ago to realise this, to truly know what was broken in me.  Right up until a few days ago my life was dysfunctional, I was unable to have a stable relationship, I couldn’t ever be truly open, honest, trusting, or loving.  My life was toxic.  I drank to much to escape the way I always acted and reacted.

If that is anything like you, then look deep within to find out what is broken in you.  Then, when you know what’s broken you might have some chance of fixing it.  Be like me and kill the snake in your mind.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it wasn’t all her own fault that Red Riding Hood liked wolves just a little too much

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Cher

she may be a lady but she’s reached an age when any fucking thing goes

Sometimes a guy just has to play something really stupid and a little bit raunchy, (actually quite a lot raunchy).  This a comeback track from 1960’s to ageless pop / rock icon Cher.   Interesting stage costume she’s almost wearing to go with her 80’s big hair.

Anyhow it’s nice to see one of the last of the battleships, in this case the USS Missouri.  Another reason for choosing this video is that I have a soft spot for Missouri.

Please listen without becoming over-excited.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

and finally, some solemnity

Better Sleep

true happiness means getting enough good sleep

insomnia is subtle torture

Sleeping well is vitally important to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.  Conversely, insomnia is stressful and will eventually make you ill.

Scientific surveys tell us that most people require between 6 and 8 hours of good sleep every night.

You can’t store sleep up in advance, but you can make up for lost sleep afterwards.

For good sleep you should go to bed at the same time every evening, and get up at the same time every morning.

Sleep medication only works for a little while.  One should never take sleep aids for longer than a couple of weeks.

Smokers will never get a settled night’s sleep until months after they quit.

Booze may send you to sleep, but thereafter it ruins your night’s rest.  Drinkers will never get a settled night’s sleep until they have had a little sobriety.

Drinkers will tend to have vivid and sometimes disturbing dreams.

Caffine in coffee or tea has very little effect on sleep.

Eating late at night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.  Don’t eat within two hours of going to bed.

The blue light from your phone or tablet will stop you from falling into deep REM sleep, the kind of sleep we all need.

Watching TV in your bedroom late into the night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.

A lack of real daylight during waking hours will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.

Plenty of fresh air and exercise during the day promotes good sleep.

Bedrooms should be cool, dark, and quiet.

Your subconscious mind should associate your bedroom with only two things; sleep and sex.

Some say they can get by on 2 or 3 hours sleep a night.  And that the only time they have problems is when they are trying to sleep.  All I know is that early to bed and early to rise make one healthy, wealthy, and wise.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

don’t spend too long gazing at the moon

that’s for lunatics

Monochrome Monday ~ Nylons

seduction begins with perfectly sheer black

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

some photographs of  women just ooze sexuality

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