Yoga is a type of meditation ~ and done properly it’s difficult.
Calling this post Yoga for Men isn’t as sexist or as misogynistic as you may think. When I was a much younger chap, far more cynical, and much less worldly-wise, I used to think yoga was a bit ‘strange’. In my mind yoga was something that girls did, and perhaps men who were a bit metrosexual. Now that I’ve grown up a bit I realise that yoga can be a strenuous and difficult workout ~ the kind of workout that hurts while you’re doing it and makes you ache afterwards.
It turns out that there are lots of reasons why more men should regularly practice yoga. Some say that yoga strengthens your immune system and relieves stress. And, that regular yoga improves muscle tone, flexibility, agility, posture, stamina, and core strength. All I know is that regular yoga exercises and nurtures my body, mind, and spirit. Some also say that yoga will give you a better sex life.
Just in case you don’t know, yoga involves holding postures, and holding some of these postures for any length of time can be damn difficult. Even the few, (simple), postures I use require a great deal of strength, balance, and concentration. Because holding these postures take a lot of strength and stamina, your muscles become more toned and develop greater power and endurance.
Yoga also helps with proper breathing, better posture, better balance, better concentration, better digestion, and increased mindfulness and serenity. Regular and difficult yoga improves the way you look, stand, walk, and talk. I have been told, by a very close friend, that regular yoga also greatly improves one’s sex life, and increases the pleasure you can give to your partner. Also, some yoga poses work as great sex positions and increase the intensity of the female orgasm. Allegedly, it’s possible for women to have an orgasm just from doing yoga. Who knew?
So, these are the yoga positions I use regularly, and if I have the names wrong… well I’m not a yoga instructor.
The Tree. This classical, impressive, and elegant position promotes strength and balance in your feet, ankles, legs, and core. Like all yoga positions I’ve tried it also aids concentration, calms your breathing, and improves your grasp of mindfulness. Don’t worry too much if at first you keep losing your balance, what’s probably happening is that you’ve lost your mental focus. The tree pose puts all your weight on one leg at a time, but the balance, poise, and elegance has to come from the whole body.
Downward Facing Dog. Allegedly, this is one of those yoga poses that’s also a great sexual position ~ I can see that. This position throws a lot of weight on the upper body, wrists, arms, shoulders, and chest. It stretches the whole of the back of your legs and body ~ your spine, arms, shoulders, ankles, calves, and hamstrings. For me, unless I’m doing it wrong, it also strengthens my knees.
The Bridge. This position is especially designed to strengthen your pelvic floor, (and backside), which is good for all kinds of reasons, up to and including sex. The bridge position builds strength in your core and lower body ~ personally I can really feel this in my lower abdomen. This is another of those yoga positions which is also a fabulous sexual position ~ or so I’m told. When I do this, I keep my back straight and my belly flat ~ I have no idea if that’s a good idea or not.
The Plank. I find this pose tremendously difficult, not because I don’t know how to do it, but because it calls for a tremendous amount of strength. Done properly the entirety of one’s body weight is brought into play to build core body strength, exercise the arms and shoulders, and increase one’s fortitude. There are three basic variations of the plank, and the easiest is to rest on your knees rather than stretch out your whole body and rest on your toes. The second easiest is to support your upper body on your forearms, while the hardest of all is to be in a push-up position with all one’s weight on your toes and hands. Right now, I can hold this position for one minute only ~ which is a bit pathetic really.
The Warrior. This should be so easy, trust me, it isn’t. The warrior pose stretches and strengthens the legs and core muscles of the body. For me it also works the arms and shoulders. More than that, this is the one position that should be so easy that I want to do it properly and elegantly. Where that gets difficult is the whole being straight, having one’s belly and backside tight, steadiness and ease thing. The lady in the picture looks a bit wimpy because her right arm is dropping.
Right now I only use these five positions, and the list above is in the order I do this stuff. I hold each position for as long as I can, and that varies from 5 minutes per position, to less than a minute, depending on the pose and how I’m feeling that day. And, again depending on how I’m feeling, I’ll probably run through all five positions a couple or maybe even three times.
However, there are stacks more great yoga positions, and if you really want to learn about yoga, then I should strongly suggest that you take a proper class, there will be one near you. There are even a bunch of good online yoga classes. (I took one actual class at my local gym, once, and never went back ~ but that’s just me). Who knows, you may find yourself alongside some fit, supple, young women. Who will probably make you feel totally inadequate.
painted, soignée in ethereal moonlight
sweet as ripened fig, breast soft dove
gladly welcoming me in quiet night
willing open giving sensual love
exploring passion and delight
moaning soft as she comes
quiet rest holding tight
as stars shine above
As good-looking as a high-priced hooker, and with the same kind of sex appeal. (Just think of a 2/3 scale Corvette Stingray.) Sex appeal is the one damn good reason to own a Marcos. It’s not a self-effacing little car.
This thing started life in 1964 with a plywood chassis, (later replaced with steel tubing), and if you’re thinking about buying one of those early cars watch out for wood-rot. The Mantis is actually a very clever little car, designed by a couple of brilliant guys; Jem Marsh and Frank Costin, (hence MarCos). It’s as rare as hen’s teeth and a good one will set you back £15,000 or so, which is bloody expensive for a pocket rocket.
The Marcos was built with Ford, Volvo, and Rover engines, but whatever engine is fitted, driving a Marcos is a frightening experience. It’s lower than your hips and from the driver’s seat the long-long bonnet is just about you can see.
Forget a Marcos if you’re over about 5’9″, fat, and can’t touch your toes. Getting in and out is not easy. Once inside it’s a comfortable place to sit, except the seat doesn’t adjust, (the pedal box does), and it will smell of hot plastic, (and perhaps damp carpets / damp leather).
If you like cool cars, you will adore the little Marcos. If you’re a cool girl / woman, your sex-appeal is geometrically multiplied if you arrive driving a Marcos, although you will flash a lot of leg getting in and out of the thing. Oh, that’s good for your sex appeal too.
A word of warning, it’s impossible to have sex in a Marcos.
Saying anything else is utterly superfluous.
Some people are like clouds…
After they Fuck Off it turns into a nice day.
In England, under a law first enacted in 1601. it is still a criminal offence to use offensive language in public.
You wouldn’t think so. In a recent performance at the Glastonbury Festival popular singer Adele threw 33 expletives at a crowd and television audience which included young children. Adele couldn’t even get through the opening song of her set without swearing, stopping half way though Hello to shout, ‘You Are F*****G Amazing!’
Adele is a good singer ~ she is also offensive to anyone with an ounce of morals and more intelligence than a gnat.
I may be among a small minority who still find bad language insulting, rude, objectionable, annoying and repellent. Not only that, bad and offensive language is so ubiquitous on the streets where I live, that you’d think I should be inured when F**k, C**t, T**t, S**t are about every third word in the ignorant speech of the lower classes here.
Recent research by respectable scientists has shown that hearing or reading bad langauge increases stress levels, and promotes very negative reactions, among listeners who have even an iota of common decency.
Sadly, for me at least, it is impossible to escape disgusting language. People I know habitually swear, people I care for sprinkle their discourse with F**k and S**t, and even on live television I can’t get away from nasty expletives. (Live television and radio in the UK is really live, there is no inbuilt delay to allow for instant censorship). A respected BBC presenter said c**t when introducing a politician named Jeremy Hunt ~ although James Naughtie later said it was a mistake. (That whole sentence is so filled with innuendo as to be ridiculous.)
If I find myself with a group of people where the conversation is filled with bad language, I will just walk away, and cross the offenders off my ‘friends’ lists. I would do the same thing if I was in a relationship where my partner habitually used cuss words.
To me, men, and especially women, who use bad language are degrading themselves.
pictures by jack collier
love’s perfect woman
caught in a moonbeam
golden light gleaming
sunset’s last gloaming
I am surely dreaming
of passions sleeping
waxing full and waning
crone maiden mother
single goddess together
perfection in alabaster
sexual female metaphor
Aphrodite carnal dreamer
brings me to final rapture
words and pictures by jack collier
witches French kisses
delicious dark enchantress
naked necromancer seductress
illicit sex excites elicits submission
worships wanton carnal magical temptress
whatever her lips promise be wary, be suspicious
words by jack collier
Affection, Bisection, Copulation, Deflexion, Ejaculation, Fellation, Gustation, Hesitation, Invitation, Jubilation, Kiss, Lubrication, Masturbation, Numeration, Osculation, Penetration, Regurgitation, Stimulation, Titillation, Urination, Veneration, Wanton, eXcitation, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom
words and pictures by jack collier
a new day has come
my spirits rise with the sun
a songbird fills the sky
it makes me want to cry
wish that I could fly
desires the day has spun
for infinite erotic fun
among the flowers
in secret scented bower
hungry, we shall devour
sonnets I softly recite
as passion shines its light
and slowly, gently, incites
your joy in the meadow