you get nothing without hard work
hanging out in bars is self-destructive
It was my birthday a couple of days ago ~ another year older and deeper into lockdown. Given the premise that this is a new age for me I’ve decided to give myself a complete makeover. And I mean doing it all for myself because there’s nobody to do it for me ~ and anything someone else does for you never lasts. Any real and beneficial change I want to make has to come from within.
This makeover will be directed at significant improvements of my body, mind, emotions, and spirit. It’s also going to include looking better and having a much nicer, kinder, more effective, and more likable persona.
The truth is that I started this big self-improvement programme just after Christmas when I gave up alcohol. If you drink, smoke, take drugs, gamble, or suffer from any of the other life-destroying addictions, then the first step on any self-improvement / self-development / makeover is to quit your addiction(s). And trust me, if you do drink, smoke, take drugs, (including stuff like Xanax), or gamble ~ then you are addicted. (The list of life-destroying things people can become addicted to is long and inclusive.)
My plan for becoming the very best version of Jack Collier that I can possibly be is very simple;
- stay away from alcohol
- have a good daily exercise routine
- eat and drink healthily, (mine is a Paleo / Mediterranean diet)
- get enough good sleep, retire and rise at the same time every day
- cut out a lot of mindless, time-wasting stuff; TV, internet, social media
- look as good as I can all the time; bathed, shaved, hair, decent clean clothes
- study and learn interesting challenging stuff, from proper books by real writers
It should be easy, given some self-discipline and determination.
none of this crap
who could like that guy?
also called Beaver Moon, the November full moon shone yesterday
The November 12th / 13th full moon is a dream moon, and has the power to bring your intimate relationships into sharper focus. Opposing forces such as work versus home, or what you want versus what you really need, or the state of your romantic affairs, will be shown in any dream you can remember. If your dreams give any insight, then understanding and communicating your feelings with clarity and sensitivity will become possible through strong intuition ~ if you have courage and fortitude.
This is a time of incredible emotional opportunities, but also a time when struggles in relationships might lead into wrong and misunderstood conversations, and thus the ending of things with a once-loved one. A lot of tenderness, hard work, and patience will be needed to overcome conflicts, differences of opinion, and pointless arguments. If handled correctly and logically, with self-discipline and diplomacy, the turmoil will just blow over and you will receive the rewards you deserve for your hard work and efforts.
If you believe at all in the effects of the full moon on your affairs, and if you can interpret your own dreams, then you may also believe in other mystical and spiritual practices such as astrology, numerology, and the tarot. Well, in astrology the key signs for this full moon are that it’s in Scorpio and the opposing sign is Taurus. In numerology this full moon falls just after 11:11. And as for the tarot, you would need to have a personal reading.
For me, this is a time to make some important choices as far as intimate relationships are concerned, but before I can resolve anything, I first of all need to deal with some conflicts, negative emotions, and ghosts from the past. These echoes of the past are not just mine, but are also carried by some others I am close to. But the past can only hurt you if you let it. To make things work I know that I will have to do whatever it takes, without reservation, and without allowing my chaotic, dark, uncontrollable, negative emotions to get in the way.
Some say that spirituality, mysticism, and religion are all just bunkum. And that unless you can see and touch something it doesn’t exist. All I know is that there are powers greater than me in this cosmos.
don’t let this full moon trap you in the prison of your own negative emotions.
It’s never to late to be what you might have been.
Most people would like to change some things about themselves. They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from. Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..
One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works. The only thing we can ever change is ourselves. But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.
Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.
Here’s the hard thing. To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices. You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..
Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski.
To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;
- What should I stop doing and thinking?
- What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
- What could and should I do less of?
- What could and should I do more of?
- What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.
Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal. Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.
Some say they already have everything their heart desires. And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right. All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.
Somebody here is going to get into trouble
or maybe they both will.
Make your life a journey of being who you want to be.
Better than what? Being a better man than who? Just who am I if I am being a better man?
Well, I’ll tell you what Being the Better Man means to me. It means that today I will be cooler, kinder, more mindful, and more in touch with life than I was yesterday. And tomorrow I will be just a little bit better than I was today. Being the Better Man, the guy that makes other people feels good about themselves, is a journey, not a destination.
Being the Better Man means being better than I used to be, and NOT being better than other people. The only guy I am measuring myself against is myself.
Being a really cool guy, living a really great life, also means losing all those negative defects of character that blighted my life for all of my life. I have managed to lose jealousy, envy, judgmentalism, paranoia, spite, resentment, self-pity, egotism, impatience, insincerity, lust, anger….. And hey, I’m not perfect so all that crap still visits me from time to time, but the dark side doesn’t live with me anymore. Negatively is no longer the driving force of my ego.
All of that horrible and hurtful behaviour came from my childhood, when my innocent subconscious mind soaked up all the bad examples set by the adults around me. Particularly I learned from all the bad attitudes and behaviours and lovelessness exhibited by my parents. Not that my parents were particularly bad, but to a small child anger is a far more powerful emotion than love.
It turns out that it’s impossible for anyone to consciously control their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours twenty-four hours a day, (well the hours you are awake anyway). Ergo, what is needed is to implant newer and better thoughts, feelings, and behaviours into your subconscious mind, because your subconscious mind is actually running the show 95% of the time. And, you do that any way you can, any way that truly works for you; hypnosis, counselling, group therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous, Heart-Brain Harmony, acupuncture….. But not drugs, not under any circumstances. The instant you take any drug or medication you are not you anymore, you are just the drug.
But, if I can change my subconscious mind, then so can you.
self-talk is a very powerful thing
If you confidently believe in yourself, you can do anything.
Sometimes our lives can suck, and having a life filled with problems and pain can leach any self-confidence you ever had right out of you. But, without self-confidence we are useless in life. Without self-confidence we become diffident, hesitant, inward-looking, and pretty crappy at everything we might try to do. Without self-confidence we worry, fret, and fail.
In fact, without self-confidence we may not want to do anything at all, just in case it all goes badly wrong. Not doing, not turning up for life, sitting alone and lonely in your own space ~ well that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and destroys whatever vestige of confidence you may have had left.
Remember this truth; To be good at what you do, you first have to do.
Self-confidence is a skill, and like any other skill it can be learned, and relearned. Fear of failure is a skill, stop learning and relearning it.
Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
The road towards true self-confidence has only a few steps along the way.
- Know who you are. Self-awareness is something we should all work at, and the more you work at it, the more you will know your true self. Hey, I know exactly who I am, my name is Jack Collier.
- Be comfortable and happy with who you are ~ and if you’re not happy with yourself, then work at changing yourself to be a better version of you. Lose that weight, exercise and get fitter, spend time on personal grooming, dress well in clothes that flatter you, go back to school….. The only person we can really change is ourselves.
- Be OK with what you do. So your job sucks, and the people at work treat you like shit, so look for a better and better-paid job. You owe no loyalty whatsoever to the people you work for, nor the people you work with. Don’t just quit your job, instead use your time at work and their facilities as assets in your job-search. Better still, start working for yourself. The really successful people in life are never wage-slaves.
- Be cool with where you are heading. You may not even know where you’re going, but go somewhere. The longest journey begins with the first baby steps, and you won’t know if you’re going in the wrong direction if you’re going nowhere. I know where I’m going ~ for a start I’m going to leverage this JackCollier7 blog into a best-selling self-improvement book.
- Do not ever give up after one failure. In fact, do not accept failure. Everybody fails from time to time, mostly because other people aren’t smart enough to see just how good you really are. JK Rowling, the best selling author of the Harry Potter books, was turned down by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury picked up the rights to her first manuscript for just £1,500. Today JK Rowling is worth around $1 billion.
- Remember that nobody will believe in you unless you believe in you. If you don’t believe in yourself, then act like hell and fake self-belief.
- Remember that life is filled with opportunities and choices, never stop looking and learning to find the opportunities that enhance your self-belief, self-confidence, self-worth, and self-empowerment. The more choices you have, the more self-motivated you will become.
You are the Captain of your own ship, and you are the master of your fate, so step up and impress yourself, impress everyone around you, and if they aren’t utterly impressed by the new self-confident you, then move on because it’s their loss, not yours.
Some say that before embarking on anything new, you must first believe that you can do it. And, that you must honestly ask yourself if whatever you’re going to do will work. All I know is that I ask myself if it’s going to be worth it.
always be open, honest, and self-aware
you can’t get to the moon if you don’t try
No person is free who is not master of themselves.
Self-discipline and self-control aren’t easy ~ these admirable character traits are not something we are born with, and usually most people don’t really develop self-discipline and self-control until they are well into adulthood. Some sad people never learn any real self-discipline and self-control at all. They are doomed to live meaningless, unfulfilled, unhappy, and unenlightened existences.
The exercise of self-discipline and self-control is difficult and complicated, needing willpower, flexibility, and judgement. To live fully rewarding lives we must continually be completely honest with ourselves, yet at times withhold the whole truth from others. To be free of disappointment, pain, and suffering we must assume total responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. It’s no good breaking our abstinence from alcohol or cigarettes just because some other people seem to having a good time smoking and drinking. That is just giving the power to control our lives to others whose own judgement is very suspect.
We must also have the self-discipline and self-control to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. I am not my brother’s keeper, nor are you responsible for what your sister does with her life.
True self-discipline and real self-control means being organised and efficient, living wisely, and living in balance and harmony with yourself and the Cosmos.
A key part of this is the ability to delay gratification ~ don’t always stop at the pub on the way home from work, don’t always get angry when questioned, and don’t always eat that last sandwich even when you are not hungry. Keep an eye on the future, think about what your actions are going to mean tomorrow, next week, next year. Do you want to be an angry and overweight alcoholic? Well, by the sound of it that’s where you’ll be heading if you don’t learn some self-discipline and self-control.
Let hunger sharpen your awareness. Abstain liquor and frivolous recreation, which dull the mind and weaken the body. ~ Laura Joh Rowland.
It’s all about replacing bad and self-destructive habits with good habits that will enhance your life in the longer term. Instead of stopping off at the pub on the way home from work, three or four times a week, go to the gym instead. You won’t get the immediate buzz of getting drunk, but you will get the long-term buzz of being a fitter, healthier, much better person.
Either I’m lucky, or I have a lot of willpower, because I seem to have more than my share of self-discipline and self-control ~ (and even I self-destruct from time to time). I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t pick up cheap women in bars for meaningless sex. I’m fit and healthy, I walk at least 5 miles every day, exercise, and I do yoga. My weight is right where it should be, my blood work is excellent, and my heart is strong. I don’t go to work at all, and yet I’m wealthy enough to do what I like when I like.
And nobody has ever given me one damn thing. Everything I have I have earned for myself through hard work, self-discipline, and self-control.
The answer is easy. Stop pissing your life away like a fool, and start really living instead. Replace your bad and self-destructive habits with good habits that will enhance your life in the longer term.
If I can do it, anyone can.