Tag Archives: Road Trip

A Californian I Am Not

California is a nice place to live, if you happen to be a hippie.

Orange County in Southern California is a very beautiful place to spend early summer ~ the great weather, fabulous beaches, and fascinating countryside….. But any Englishman thinking of coming here for the very first time needs to know that SoCal is as different from the Shires as Wensleydale cheese is from the muck known as American cheese.

George Bernard Shaw once said that England and America are two countries separated by a common language.  This is manifestly true.  Californians do not know how to speak or understand English, even if Spanish is not their first language.  Certainly no Californian will ever understand English humour, irony, sarcasm, or know what real honesty is about.  Also Californians have a language of their own; WTF does ‘Jonesing’ mean?

There is popular movement that calls on us all to walk 10,000 steps a day.  Californians do not walk anywhere, unless they are a penniless bum.  A Californian will drive to the gym and then spend some time on the treadmill while listening to mindless music.

And, Californians are among the very worst drivers I have ever come across, possibly barring the French.  The two real downsides are #1 all Americans think they are good drivers, #2 in California the standard of driving worsens by age, sex, and ethnicity, (not how you’d think).

Californians even drive to and from what they are pleased to call a pub.  I’ve been in several pubs / sports bars here, and to any decent Englishman they are universally appalling.  Do Not think you will get a decent pint of beer here, they serve dross such as pineapple flavoured beer.  Americans are also pleased to sit at the bar and watch sports TV all night.  Do Not eat the food in any American  pub / sports bar.

Some Californian food is fabulous, you can get a wonderful steak and salad here.  On the other hand sushi is popular here, and so is serving nasty cheese with everything.  Do not try ‘Mexican’ food, it’s greasy muck with jalapeno.

Some say that California is the Golden State.  And that saying ‘have a nice day’ isn’t actually an insult.  All I know is that bikers, drop-outs, hippies, stoners, and surf bums do well here.

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Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

The beach bars are cool in California,

and some serve good food,

Scenes on Sunday ~ The Sea

You can’t cross the sea by standing and staring at the water.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Aphrodite was born nubile from the sea

Monochrome Monday ~ Roads

Some men see the world in terms of black and white ~ I’m one of them.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

what a cool place name

wilderness imagination

The clearest way into the Universe is through the wilderness mountains.

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leave the city of your comfort

travel into the wilderness of intuition

walk upon the hot virgin dirt

and let free your deepest imagination

no more pain degradation hurt

and your soul is one with all creation

deep in the lonely barren desert

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

go, boldly go

toward the mountains of the moon

Scenes on Sunday ~ Zion Canyon

Where history deepens one’s appreciation of the canyon’s beauty.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

You could walk out of Zion Canyon

but I wouldn’t like to try it.

Scenes on Sunday ~ Georgia O’Keeffe

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.  ~  Thomas Merton

I once spent a very long day visiting the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  It was damn cold and snowing.  Visiting an art collection was not something I would ever have thought I would want to do ~ but then I never thought I’d ever be in New Mexico.

However, the paintings were interesting ~ mostly they looked like weirdly abstract renditions of female nether regions.  I’m not the first person to have thought that.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Generally speaking,

I like inner vaginas, they have less to say.

~ Robert Black

Scenes on Sunday ~ Where was Love?

love is not something you feel, it’s something you do

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

it seems that she wanted a lover

and a regular guy wouldn’t do

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Blues Brothers

it’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses

Not only do I like the movie, I also like Ray Charles, and this song, and the street dancers.

Please listen and dance responsibly.

The Men in Black?  I’ve seen Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith do it better.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

if you hit Route 66 in Chicago

eventually you’ll end up here

seize the day

do every act of your life as though it was the very last act of your life  ~  Marcus Aurelius

January in England and nature is at its lowest ebb of the year.  The ground is hard, the sea is damn cold, everything and everyone seems to be moving in slow motion.

Even I’ve been feeling lethargic this afternoon, and considering doing nothing more productive than dozing while the TV plays in the background.

That just isn’t good enough for me.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.  Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land.  There is no other land, there is no life but this.  ~  Henry David Thoreau.

Feeling bored, listless, lethargic, and filled with ennui is just a state of mind, and if I’ve learned anything in recent months is that you can change your mind, even your state of mind.

Instead of dozing, bored in front of the TV, I’m going to go out into the cold and take another walk.  At least that will damn well wake me up.

Some say that boredom the natural state of being for mature guys.  And, that most men don’t have the energy, brains, or motivation to find anything better to do than watch sports on TV.  All I know if that I’m not like most men; I’m a cool guy living a great life.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a desert, a Mustang, who can be bored?

Scenes on Sunday ~ Seascapes

I must go down to the sea again ~ to the lonely sea and the sky

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Santa Monica

The end of the old Route 66

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