Random Jottings ~ Mad Scientists
and so he created a woman, who got angry when her batteries ran down
~
he was smart, but he could never get a girl
so he made one
~
every mad scientist dreams of playing God
the really crazy ones believe they are God
~
keep you arms in the time machine at all times
~
‘that’s strange perfume…..’ he said
‘that’s not perfume, it’s formaldehyde…..’ she answered
~
they had solved the theory of everything
and after a few bottles of booze they thought it was a good idea to build a time machine
things went downhill after that
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
she must be a scientist
she’s wearing a white coat
Random Jottings ~ Sunshine Love
love is the sunshine of the soul
~
you were the sunshine of my life
so why did you rain on my parade?
~
my lover was the moon and stars to me
shame they were someone else’s sunshine
~
bright flowers die without sunshine
and a real man cannot live without a woman’s love
~
she burst into my life like a thousand blazing suns
and then I got burned
~
the real truth of true love is that the sun always shines
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
trust that the sun will shine
someday soon
Random Jottings ~ Friendship
friendship is constant in all things, except when it comes to sex and love
~
travelling with a friend needs no destination
~
a soft kiss from a friend has a memory all its own
~
a close friend is like buying two tickets to adventure
~
true friendship nourishes the soul and warms the heart
~
he loved her in true friendship, but he desired her in hot lust
~
choose your friends wisely, choose your enemies with even more care
~
a really bad friend is like having an albatross hanging around your neck
~
no real man can ever be ‘just good friends’ with an attractive woman
and what makes a woman attractive is her friendship
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
friends with benefits
basically it’s just regular sex
Random Jottings ~ Infidelity and Casual Sex
no normally healthy men and women can be ‘just good friends’
~
he could tell she was easy
the plunging neckline, short skirt, and no lingerie was a giveaway
~
no matter how careful you are, you will always get caught
~
the best apology for cheating is changed behaviour,
it never happens
~
it takes two people to make a relationship work
but just one promiscuous person to make it fail
~
bad marriages don’t cause infidelity
promiscuous infidelity causes bad marriages
~
‘I love you…’ she said’
get in the back seat…’ he replied
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
casual sex is never just a one time thing
Random Jottings ~ Witches
she walks barefoot in the moonlight and whispers magic to the wind
~
magick is not something she does, magick is who she is
~
lie awake in the night and listen for the witch’s promise
~
loving a witch is difficult
it’s no picnic breaking up with one either
~
don’t wish for a kiss from a witch in the moonlight
it might ruin your whole evening
it might ruin your whole life
~
love a witch
it’s a short life filled with incident
and slimy things in jars
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
she has something very much darker than ice-water in her veins
Would you like to wish on a star?
some of us would rather howl at the moon
~
even Einstein did not understand gravity
~
the guiding light is still a million miles away
~
Hello Earth, How are you today?
~
it’s a dog eat dog world, and you’re a kitten
~
I love my dog, every full moon
~
cold riveted steel is still iron
~
she loved him, once he took his shirt off
~
he was younger, he was cool, he was a guy
he owned a car
~
j
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
some women like sexy guys
ALL women like sexy guys
Random Jottings ~ Dragons
great big mouth and great big teeth and great big goggly eyes
~
evening, not always the best time of day when the dragon lurks in the gloom
~
when you dance with a dragon don’t expect to escape without being burned
~
it was Monday, it was midnight, and the dragon was feeling very annoyed
well, nobody likes being woken up by a knight errant
unless you’re a Lady Fair
~
never stroke a dragon, it might get you very dead
~
‘aww isn’t he cute’ she said
right before the baby dragon turned her to toast
~
love me, love my dragon
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
dancing with dragons
Random Jottings ~ Love
cursed are they who get the love they think they deserve
~
‘I love you…..’ he said
‘why…..’ she asked’
because I’m bloody stupid…..’
~
she loved him and he didn’t deserve her
so, eventually he walked away
she didn’t know how lucky she was
~
she was attractive
she was available
she was loving
she was going to be a complete waste of time and money
~
car sex is the opposite of true love
~
love is a drug
but so is sex, alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, opium, viagra…..
~
Fuck Me! No way, I’m a man and you’re a surprised shade of blue alien
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
she will never love you
not if you try to force it
Random Jottings ~ Faith
only in the darkness can you see the moon and stars
~
worry ends when faith begins
~
faith can move mountains, but dynamite helps
~
faith, hope, and love
and the greatest of these is love
~
faith is what makes men carry on when it all seems impossible
~
some say that when you have faith you have everything
I’ve found that a lot of money helps too
~
a casual walk through a lunatic asylum will tell you
that blind faith doesn’t prove anything at all
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
faith is the light that shines in the depths of distant space
Random Jottings ~ Medical
it’s a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice…..’
after a sixteen-hour shift women doctors need to practice standing on one leg
~
nurses, the problem is you can’t live without them, and you can’t always believe them
~
his temperature was up to 105, and there was an icy look in the nurse’s eyes
~
little do the doctors know, but you’re never alone if you’re paranoid
~
never give up on life, if you give up you have no chance at all
~
he was happy before the doctor told him he was sick
~
she had wise eyes in a face of angelic concern
shame she wasn’t a nurse
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
learn how to breathe
it’s one of life’s more important skills
