sometimes all you have left is prayer
Here in England we almost never get wildfires, instead we sometimes have devastating floods, and every few years a hell of a lot of snow. Sadly, my friends out on the USA’s West Coast are in real physical danger from the bush fires burning out of control through California, Oregon, and Washington State.
The fire services are doing the very best they can, and President Trump is due to visit California tomorrow to see for himself the scale of destruction. But when fires even threaten the freeways and interstate highways, things are obviously our of control. Some of the fires may have been caused by arson, or smokers casually discarding their butts, or by electrical faults, or even lightning. But they have spread so far and wide because of a 20 year mega-drought.
The only thing that will end these fires is heavy rain. And all the rest of the world can offer is our thoughts and prayers.
perhaps now it is time to pray for heavy rain in Southern California
the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective
Each day I go down to the sea to pray to my Goddess. Always at the same vantage point, I face the morning sun, calm myself and say my short prayer for the day.
This morning the sea was very grey and calm, with a surface like hammered metal, the colour of slate to match the grey clouds which had suddenly appeared overhead.
I asked that my Goddess help me find greater peace and calm in my life, because a peaceful and calm life brings more and better, kinder things along with it.
At the instant my prayer ended, the clouds parted a little and a shaft of sunlight struck the sea, turning the area I was looking it into a sparkling, burnished silver mirror. More than quite surprising.
You know what? I took that as a sigh that my Goddess looked favourably upon my prayer, and the generosity of spirit in which the prayer was meant.
As I turned away that shaft of sunlight vanished too.
if you talk to your higher power
sometimes they may answer
You can’t do the job if you haven’t got the proper tools.
Yesterday I was very tempted to book a trip to Agadir in Morocco, even though I’ve just returned to England after my recent vacation on Crete. (You would like Crete.)
The Moroccan adventure would have been for a week, departing England on October 11th. The whole deal would have cost me less than it’s costing me to fly the Atlantic for my trip to New Mexico in early November. And, that upcoming trip is one reason I’ve decided not to take the Road to Morocco just now ~ I would probably have spent my whole time in Morocco thinking about going to New Mexico.
That, and the main reason for travelling right now is me not wanting to be here on my own, me escaping from what’s going on inside my own head, not wanting to face the fact that I’m the world’s biggest screw-up, me running away…..
I don’t think I’ve shared that each day I pray to my Goddess, and that I write these prayers on slips of paper about the size of a personal cheque, (check). I save these prayers, and each day I take an old prayer from the found vase I keep them in, and contemplate what I was saying in the past.
Today, the old prayer is from December 1st 2015; …..please help me to learn a way to stop finding the bad things in Life.
That is just as appropriate right now as it was then. I am still right back at square one.
In my life there has been heartache and pain. For most of my life I suffered from undiagnosed and untreated Borderline Personality Disorder ~ a seriously dangerous mental illness. For the past few years I have been striving diligently to be a ‘better man’. And, it would seem that I haven’t had that much success.
Here’s the thing, no matter how hard you try to achieve something, no matter what you do, you cannot succeed if you don’t have the right tools for the job.
Today I have come to realise that I don’t have the right tools to achieve enough significant personality changes to become the better man, the superior man.
And then Serendipity kicks in. This New Mexico retreat I am attending in November has the strapline From Chaos to Coherence ~ The Power To Thrive In Life Extremes. If you know anything at all about BPD, you will know that I go to extremes, but perhaps this retreat will put some more and better tools in my psychological toolbox.
Some say that all prayers are answered, but sometimes the answer is ‘no’. And, that if the only tool you have is a hammer then you see every problem as a nail. All I know is that if you’re fighting with the alligators, it’s difficult to remember that you’re supposed to be draining the swamp.
Right now the alligators are winning,
so fuck the swamp.
It doesn’t matter if you believe in magic, or not.
What matters is that the magic believes in magic.
There is a magic of the tides, and power in the moon, the stars, and the sea. If you want to rid yourself of something, write its name in the sand on a falling tide, say your prayer and invocation, and the sea will carry whatever you have named away from you.
I no longer suffer from insane jealousies.
Today I had a rising tide in my favour. The rising tide will bring your wish, your prayer, your invocation to you.
Given one prayer, one wish to the Goddess, what should I ask to be brought to me? What would you write in the sand?
I know how this magic works, at least I think I do. What I am certain of is that this magic works for me. And, now I wait.
my Goddess please help me
help me to be understanding
help me to be more accepting
help me to be less judgmental
help me to avoid impulsiveness
help me to think before I speak
help me to think long before I act
help me to be more tolerant of fools
help me to stay cool, calm, and collected
help me forgive those who have wronged me
help me forgive those I think have wronged me
help me to lose fear, hurt feelings, and immaturity
help me to be a better man today than I was yesterday
help me lose the angst and replace it with love and compassion
help me lose my unrealistic unfulfilled expectations of those I care for
my Goddess help me to live without half-truths, dishonesty, deceit, and lies
Thank you Goddess, today I will try my best to fulfil your hopes and trust in me
words and pictures by jack collier
At this time of year it never really gets dark this far North ~ where I live is about 55 degrees North.
The snag is that for an insomniac what does one do at midnight?
Going down to the sea to pray seemed like a good idea.
Goddess, thank you for today.
Thank you for seeing me through the night.
Watch over those I care for.
Help me to keep them safe.
And, thank you for this good Earth.
I am 5,975 miles away
I pray for my love every day
words cannot convey what I need to say
yet she is often very busy
ballet of shared silence, dismal dismay
building love’s long rise from lonely decay
words and pictures by jack collier
Be careful what you pray for. Your prayers may be answered.