doctors may think they’re important,
but it’s the nurses that get you well
This has got to be the shortest Jethro Tull track ever.
The nurses in this hospital have been very good to me, especially when I couldn’t get out of bed at all.
none of my nurses look like this
knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom
I think that it’s acceptable for me to be apprehensive, introspective, and a little depressed ~ I’m pretty certain this is day #5 of my lying on this hospital bed. I haven’t been able to get up at all, because of the tubes, drips, and because moving is painful for me. Being immobile on a hospital bed, with very little control of my own life, and very little privacy isn’t a joyous time.
At least the catheter was removed this morning, right after the phlebotomist took my blood for the umpteenth time. Nobody tells you that catheter removal is painful, and that there’s probably going to be blood. At least the nurses make me a cup of tea after they wake me up at 5 a.m. I thank them profusely for that.
As it happens I am not looking forward to going for a pee.
I have been trying to make the best of things;
We ought to hear at least one little song every day, read a good poem, see a first-rate painting, and if possible speak a few sensible words. ~ von Goethe
My concentration has come back sufficiently for me to do most of that ~ the sensible words thing may still be eluding me. Maybe the things I write on here contain a few sensible words.
One good thing has come out of this, I have realised that many of the people who know me on here, genuinely care about me and my welfare. I am pleased to call them my friends.
I like the California desert
I wish I was there now
No matter what happens, life goes on, until the day you die
a murder of crows is a sign of good news
Most of us experience torment, pain, failure, disaster, and tragedy. Most of us learn that love is blind and that love can be cruel. Some may suffer from serious debilitating illnesses. Others may have mental, spiritual, and psychological problems. More than a few will battle an addiction for most of their lives. Some may have hit rock bottom and struggle with shame and fear. For many there will be no relief or comfort until it’s over, and a tragic few some may hasten the end through taking their own lives.
You may have experienced such moments yourself or observed those around you going through the slough of despond. You, or a member of your family, or a loved one, or a friend, may have struggled for years to find a way to make it through each and every single fucking day. It is in times like those that achieving goals, making plans, realising dreams, can seem a million light years away. Instead time is spent coping with shock, pain, grief, sadness, depression, frustration, fear, tears, fighting not to take that next drink, or snort that next line of coke. Emotions are raw and painful, feelings are negative in the extreme, and the mind can run away like an out of control dynamo. Nothing means anythng, and nothing makes any sense.
In three words I an sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost
But, life goes on. Most of us, given time, maybe given the right support at the right time, most of us are able to return to our dreams and goals, to our plans and schemes, and continue along the warriors path to one form of success or another.
For most of us the pain, grief, and sadness we have experienced will mean that we return to the warriors path stronger than we were before ~ wiser, kinder, more supportive, more accepting, and more understanding. The struggle changes us, and it may be true that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Our priorities, our wants, needs, and desires will have changed as we fought our inner demons or struggled with the shit the world has thrown into our lives. What may have seemed important to the shallow and inconsequential people we were before no longer matters to the toughened survivors we have become. What may seem important to the ordinary folks around us matters not one jot to we who have endured hell and returned.
Some say that they just can’t go on, they can’t take it any more. And that life has taken away everything they have ever loved, wanted, dreamed of, desired, and needed. All I know is that when it is at its worst the important thing is to just keep putting one foot in front of another.
find a way to make it
whatever it takes hold on to the light