Tag Archives: Obsession

What is Love?

in true love infinite dreams come alive

Many have said; ‘I love you…’ when what they mean is; ‘I want you, I desire you, I need you…..’ and yet, perhaps is that not also a manifestation of love.  Perhaps wanting, desiring, needing, sexual lust….. are all but facets of love.  Or perhaps not, because one can love a fellow human being without it being sexual or physical.  Sex is not love.

The Ancient Greek philosophers recognised six types of love, and being philosophers they may have been correct.

  1. Eros ~ sexual passion
  2. Philia ~ deep friendship
  3. Ludus ~ playful love
  4. Agape ~ love for everyone
  5. Pragma ~ long lasting love
  6. Philautia ~ love of self

Nothing being perfect, there was later #7 Storge ~ love of the child.

The author Mary McMahon outlined a round dozen different types of love; New Love, Routine Love, Disgusting Love, Infatuation Love, Friend Love, Fake Love, They’re ‘It’ Love, In It To Win It Love, Tragic Love, Parental Love, Unhealthy Love, Old People Love.  As it goes; I will firmly state that none of those is a decent description or explanation of real love.

In high chivalric romance, the most perfect form of love was Courtly Love; which describes the relationship between a Knight Errant and a married noblewoman ~ his unattainable Lady Fair.  This unconsummated passion was thought to be ennobling and righteous. Like most of chivalry there are numerous impossible rules surrounding Courtly Love.

Courtly Love differs immensely from the commonest form of love of them all Unrequited Love.  Which, is just one step away from infatuation and stalking.

At the other end of the scale, and on the other side of the coin is Unconditional Love, which is just as dangerous and one-sided as unrequited love.

According to modern neuroscience there are 10 signs or symptoms of being in love; addiction, obsession, recklessness, lust, focus, heightened memory, eye contact, euphoria, touching, lack of judgement.  Possibly, and who am I to argue with the women in white coats.

For men, I could add another sign when it comes to being in love; loss of interest in other women.  I have no idea if the converse is true for women ~ I suspect not.

All of the above would seem to have elements of truth in them, which would lead one to suspect that love is a very complicated emotion, set of feelings, group of actions, slew of hormones….

I think not.  I firmly believe that true love means one thing, and if you ain’t got it you’re not in love.

True love means wanting your beloved to be safe and  happy, no matter what.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

not courtly love at all

more Lancelot and Guinevere

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