Sometimes nightmares become terrifying reality.
sex and the stranger has left
just another of those bar boys
the Marconi plays downbeat
yellow moon rules the clouds
alone again after midnight
hurts that nobody even cares
that she’s scared filled with fright
soul peopled with dark dreams
her past sins have found the light
all she has are her worst nightmares
and solitary screaming in the night
Chaos is the Cosmos telling you that you are forever lost.
Turmoil. Mind like a lost gypsy cab driving through a chaotic concrete jungle.
Dystopia. Disembarking, it’s so dark and it’s so quiet in the ruins, grey and burned black broken like bad teeth .
Lost. Then I’m walking on wet cobbled stones, just a bum with threadbare dirty clothes, down at the heel shoes, a body that’s all skin and bones.
Doom. The final dark gloom of a Dead Man Walking to nowhere and forever.
Despair. Now all the good has gone from my life ~ what is joy, what is elation?
Dishonour. I want you all to know that once I was proud, once I was a man and once I meant something. But that’s not now. That’s not now.
Terror. I need to wake up. I need to go home. I need to find friendship again.
Loneliness. I have no love, only blackness in my heart, my Goddess has gone.
Nightmare. But, bad memories, just like the seas, live on.
You don’t pick your demons; your demons pick you.
when demons came
every night has its dawn
don’t listen to the sad song
it will only bring you more pain
and cut your mind like a dull knife
remember this your life and be true
nightmares and demons cannot hurt you
if you take care to guard your incarnate soul
I use a Panasonic Lumix
the pictures help my mood
Night Sweats, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Sleep Terrors.
Night Terrors are not Nightmares ~ typically a nightmare happens when you’re in deep dream sleep, whereas night terrors wake you up, so the experience of a night terror is one of wakefulness. Night terrors are also different from Sleep Terrors, because a night terror will wake you up, whereas with a sleep terror you will have all the symptoms of extreme fear, but you will stay asleep. If you are awake, or partially awake, and terrified in the night, then the chances are you are suffering from night terrors, (which are a recognised psychological disorder).
Nightmares usually occur in the early morning during REM sleep when our dreams are at their most vivid. More often than not we can remember all the cinematographic details of a long, scary nightmarish dream when we first wake. On the other hand, night terrors usually happen during the first part of the night, aren’t part of REM sleep, and we won’t remember anything much other than waking up / being awake in a terrified state.
Typically, night terrors are caused by a previous psychological trauma, (such as an abusive childhood), or by stress, or by substance abuse, (such as drinking too much just before bedtime). However, as one of the causes of drinking too much before bedtime is a mental illness like Borderline Personality Disorder, which is itself probably caused by a previous psychological trauma, it’s fair to say that if you suffer from night terrors you’re probably drinking too much and suffered some severe disturbance / abuse / trauma in your past. Chances are if you’re in that situation you’re also feeling very pressured right now, and suffering from the symptoms of undue stress. It’s an illogical Catch-22 situation.
If you suffer from night terrors it’s likely that you wake very suddenly with an intense fear of something unknown / a nameless dread. Your heart will be beating fast, you will be breathing hard and fast, your blood pressure will be elevated, your eyes will be wide and staring, and you will be sweating. This is different from night sweats, which is severe and excessive sweating, without the associated terror. The common causes of night sweats are medical, and some of them are very nasty, such as cancer. However, one other cause of night sweats is drinking too much.
What night terrors will do to you is prevent you from getting the 7 to 9 hours of good quality sleep that most adults need every night. As well as making you feel tired, lethargic, and irritable, not getting enough sleep can cause lots of nasty illnesses such as; high blood pressure, strokes, and heart disease.
The most likely advice if you have night terrors when you get beyond your teens is that you should see a doctor. Good luck with that one, because the only real cure for night terrors is to treat the underlying problem(s). That will mean doing something about the effects of any psychological trauma in your past, and cutting out whatever drug you’re taking too much of late at night ~ including coffee, booze, prescription drugs, street drugs…
There are some very common-sense things you can do if you suffer from night terrors, sleep terror, nightmares, and / or night sweats ~ without resorting to medication and a long period of talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy. None of these are easy, or likely to give you a quick fix, but you should consider;
- Giving up booze completely, or cutting down a lot, and never drinking late at night.
- Quitting smoking ~ and if you smoke do not have a cigarette last thing at night.
- Stop using street drugs, and talk to your doctor about any prescription medication you are on.
- Late at night don’t drink coffee, and don’t eat a meal within 4 to 6 hours of bedtime.
- Stay hydrated. The average person needs 3 litres / 6 pints of water a day ~ but tea, coffee, wine, and beer don’t really help you to stay properly hydrated.
- Do not take a nap during the day, especially don’t take an afternoon nap.
- Go to bed at the same reasonable time every night, (if you need to be up at 7 am you need to be in bed at 10 pm), and get up at the same reasonable time each morning. Stick to this sleep schedule, even at weekends. Changing the time you go to bed, and the time you get out of bed, wrecks your internal body clock.
- Wind down in the evenings. Don’t use social media late at night or first thing in the morning. Instead practice a relaxing bedtime ritual, such as meditation and listening to relaxing, classical music.
- During the day get at least an hour of fresh air and moderate / vigorous / strenuous exercise.
- Make sure your bedroom is right for sleep. Your bedroom should be clean, tidy, quiet, very dark, still, and fairly cool, (between 60 and 67 degrees F). You really do need to sleep in total darkness and quiet.
- Make certain your mattress and pillows are comfortable for you. If your mattress is good quality it should last 10 years, after that, get a new one.
- Keep a sleep diary.
An episode of night terror can be brought on by worry, stress, emotional tension, fatigue, conflict, and especially too much alcohol late at night, (or more likely a combination of factors, including booze). How much is too much alcohol? Actually, too much booze is however many drinks puts your health and well-being at risk. For me, one drink is one too many.
After suffering night terrors you are likely to be utterly inconsolable, grown women, (and men), may cry, and the event may be so disturbing that your mind will wipe most of it from your memory. The next morning you won’t be able to remember what terrified you.
In adults, it is most likely that night terrors, sleep terrors, and nightmares have an underlying cause of previous severe stress, trauma, mental and / or physical abuse, and subsequent mental disorders and generalised anxiety. In fact, the underlying causes of sleep problems can be very similar to the underlying causes of addiction.
Not getting enough good quality sleep is a serious matter. The consequences are severe, up to and including death. If you’re suffering from night terrors, sleep terrors, nightmares, night sweats, then you really do need to take action right away. Start with the tips I’ve given above, but if you have to, go and see your doctor.
was there another dream?
was a fevered amative fantasy
drifting into the bismuth grey sky?
erotic fervid nightmare obsidian sorceress
mortal body or immortality she needs possess?
I have no soul, or I must scream
words and seascape by jack collier
something just isn’t right
haunting pale moonlight
demons stalk the black night
jealousy bites hard in sad twilight
and daylight offers nothing bright
words and pictures by jack collier firstname.lastname@example.org
Even grown men cry sometimes. Even grown men are blue when their dreams cannot ever come true.
There are many species of dreams. Pleasant dreams, disturbing dreams, day dreams, nightmares…
Perhaps only when we accept that some dreams are just fantasies that we can find true happiness.
Paradise is a never-never land, but there is joy to be found in the real world ~ if we accept the freedom of acceptance of what is rather than wishing for the impossible. From acceptance it is just a short step to sanity and serenity.
I can accept that all the dreams I dream with you may never come true.
words and pictures by jack collier