Tag Archives: New York

Unrealistic Standards

I like American women.  They do things that French women never do ~ like showering.

It occurs to me that my expectations are usually way off what is likely to happen, my manners and mores are ridiculously old-fashioned, and my standards are way too high for any girl to reasonably meet.  Does that make me wrong, or stupid, or just English?

Being an older English guy isn’t always a bed of roses.  And being a cool English guy in the USA can make one realise why England and America are two countries separated by a common language.  More than half the time American woman have no idea what the fuck hell I’m talking about.

On the other hand, dating an American woman is so much better than dating a Parisienne girl.  Body odour and the smell of cigarette smoke tend to follow them around like a personal raincloud.

I love American women.  Just not necessarily in New York.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the circle line is cool too

 

 

Songs on Saturday ~ Alicia Keys

New York, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.

I want to wake up in a city that doesn’t sleep

And find I’m king of the hill, top of the heap

I like New York, I like the Plaza, the Monkey Bar, the Circle Line, Saks on 5th, and eating at Lincoln Square Steak.  I don’t like gypsy cabs, the subway, Times Square, or Central Park.

Please listen responsibly.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

In New York, “have a nice day…..” doesn’t mean what you think it means.

An Englishman Abroad

An Englishman should never try to be anything else.

Around the world, most women with even the smallest degree of discernment really like an English Gentleman.  Most foreign women find a real English Gentleman, quirky, strange, charming, polite, and quite irresistible.  Don’t try to change yourself to ‘fit in’ with the people around you, if anything, when abroad become slightly more ‘English’.  Be yourself, no matter what they say.

An Englishman In New York ~ Sting

Please listen responsibly.

My first time in New York I made the huge mistake of trying to be like a native New Yorker.  That was never going to work.  When I learned that I needed to be as English as cricket, Noel Coward, and afternoon tea, I could get any woman I liked to have lunch with me, at least twice.  If a woman lunches with you twice…..

~

Sherlock-Holmes-Basil-Rathbonethese opinions are mine, and mine alone

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

 

So, This Is Air Travel?

For an Englishman to take a road trip in California, he first has to get to California.  This is not quite as simple as it may seem.

P1010961

P1020649First, there was getting to Manchester airport, then the seven and a half hour flight to New York.  This wasn’t so terrible ~ right up until I had to go though US immigration.  I knew this was always bad, which is one reason I only took carry-on luggage with me ~ no frustrating wait at baggage reclaim, walk off the flight and directly to customs and immigration.  Important tip; there are stores in the USA, only ever take carry-on luggage with you.

I had a two-hour layover before my connecting flight from New York to San Francisco, and going through US immigration and customs used up most of that.  Of course I then had to go back through security before I could get into departures for the San Francisco flight.  I was the very last person to board that aircraft ~ they closed the door right behind me, I had made the flight with five minutes to spare.

SFairport

After Newark, San Francisco airport is nice.  From San Francisco I had another flight to John Wayne airport in Orange County.  That was the easy part, I even got to sit next to a cute girl on that leg of my journey.

P1020653Arrived in Orange county at around eight thirty pm.  Walk right off the flight across the road to the car rentals in the parking garage.   Maybe because I was tired I was talked into a car upgrade, and came away with a Dodge Challenger.  Trust me, an Englishman shouldn’t ever drive a black Dodge Challenger.

Maybe because I was tired I got totally lost on the way from the airport to where I was staying that night.  I spent quite a while driving up and down Orange County backroads.  Eventually arrived at my destination around ten pm.

Total travelling time, door to door, including endless hours standing in line, 36 hours.

Air travel is all about standing in line.

~P1030942

email:   jackcollier7@talktalk.net.

 

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