a close and harmonious relationship based on acceptance and understanding
It’s not necessary to build rapport with a woman if all you want to do is have sex with her ~ but it certainly helps. Just casual sex does not require rapport. Instead, true rapport is the indefinable process of accepting and understanding one another, and thereby becoming comfortable together. If you have true rapport with a woman, then she will trust you, follow you, and believe in you. For this to happen she needs to understand you and be able to rely upon you. Ergo you have to become consistent, reliable, and dependable.
As it goes, women are more natural at building rapport than are most men ~ they are usually more open, more understanding, and more communicative than the average male. Women tend to have more empathy and be more interested in relationships, whereas men are usually just interested in sex.
To build rapport with a woman, be someone she actually wants to be around ~ and that doesn’t mean just spending a lot of money on her, (but that often helps). Avoid being selfish and talking about yourself, instead listen to her and try and learn about her wants, needs, desires, and dreams. Always remain calm, and speak slowly and softly. Be warm, accepting, and understanding. And, never fall into the common male mistake of thinking that you have to educate her about something she has no interest in whatsoever.
In Neuro Linguistic Programming, and other psychological / interpersonal approaches to communication and building rapport, there are a number of techniques that even a geek can learn and use. These include; mirroring, leading, and pacing. In all honesty, these are artificial techniques best left to the salesman who wants to up his closure rate. However, this stuff is powerful, and it does work on women.
The most basic and powerful way to connect with a woman is to listen to her. Just listen, and don’t interrupt her because she will not like that. Perhaps the most important thing you can give her is your undivided attention. And after that; acceptance, respect, and understanding.
Some say that it is impossible to be successful with a woman without building rapport. And that you need to spend time understanding what she is thinking. All I know is that sometimes I have to try just that bit harder.
here’s looking at you kid
The sins of the fathers will be visited upon the children…..
Our parents told us to be wise, look ahead, be strong, don’t look back, get a job, be cool….. That’s if we were lucky. If we were unlucky they mostly ignored us, left us to fend for ourselves while they were out doing adult things. If we were very unlucky we witnessed a dysfunctional relationship, totally filled with an utter lack of love. For some it was worse than that, with one of their parents being an abusive alcoholic while the other merely acted as an enabler. There will be blood on the lawns of those homes.
Children who had abusive parents, or were from dysfunctional families, would grow up with all kinds of mental problems; Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression. Alcoholism, drugs, gambling, and other addictions are also common among adults who suffer from mental health problems created in their childhood. The likelihood is that they will struggle with their own psychological and spiritual problems for all of their adult lives, mirroring the lives of their parents. They too will find themselves in dysfunctional or abusive relationships, treatment centres, rehabilitation centres. and hospitals of one kind or another for one reason or another. If they are wise they will not have children of their own.
I know this because I have suffered some of this, and I have also known many people who have suffered a less than ideal childhood and have turned out to be less than perfect adults and parents. Sadly many of the suffering people I used to know are dead; alcoholism, drug use, accidents, sundry medical problems, suicide…..
If you’re suffering from anything I’ve mentioned above, you will also know that the caring professions are mostly
fucking damn useless at helping people with mental illnesses or addictions of any kind. You may get talking therapies, and you will probably be prescribed all kinds of nasty medication, neither of which will be of much help. You may have tried 12-step recovery groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon. Not many stick around these 12-step groups for long. But there is something that helped me.
One thing often said in these 12-step groups is; ‘fake it until you make it’, or ‘fake it to make it’. In other words if what you want to be is a kind, caring, sober person, then ‘act as if’ you were that person. This technique is widely accepted in the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming. And, keep telling yourself; ‘I am a kind, caring, sober guy’. If you believe it, then you actually are that guy. Self-talk does work.
It turns out that I believe my own self-talk ~ ‘I’m a cool and charismatic guy, living a really great life’. I can be anyone and anything I want to be. I can manifest any kind of life I want, need, desire, or dream of ~ providing I don’t give in to lusts or base emotions.
There has been blood in my garden, blood helps the flowers grow.
in your race for self-destruction
stop to smell the flowers
Our Scientific Power has Outrun Our Spiritual Power.
Among the things with which I will have nothing to do with whatsoever are; God, Gods, Goddesses, Angels, Cherubs, Seraphs, Spirits, Ghosts, Flying Saucers, the channeling of mystical beings and spirit guides, people who are believed to have peculiar psychic abilities…, and sushi.
However, I do believe in the existence and efficacy of some very strange things indeed.
There are more things in heaven and earth, [Horatio], Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet.
I have no real faith in astrology, despite the fact that I was born on March 23rd and I am a very typical Ares male. Anyone who knows me will agree that I am a crazy mixture of the fearless warrior and undisciplined schoolboy ~assertive, bold, egotistical, extrovert, independent, macho, stubborn, but very in touch with my inner child. Also, if I don’t have real faith in European astrology, why should I believe anything about Chinese astrology? That, even though I am an archetypal Horse male ~ independent, generous, globetrotting, restless, revolutionary, wandering, driven by an irresistible force. Add Ares to Horse to Man, and you get a real maverick ~ I am indeed an iconoclast.
Logically and scientifically, why and how could when you were born have any effect whatsoever on your character, your personality, your life, your luck, your past, present, and your future?
Well, I think when you were conceived, when and where you were developing in the womb, and when you were born does have a major effect on your entire life, and I partly base this on the theory of the interconnectedness of all things. Also I believe the perfectly respectable Jungian philosophy of the collective unconscious, and that other perfectly respectable theory that there is a collective consciousness. Over and above all this psychology, I believe that the seasons of our conception and earliest development have an overriding effect on which human archetype we become.
That begins to explain a lot of European astrology and its monthly cycles, but what about Chinese astrology and it’s 12 year cycle? Our sun operates on just about an 11 year cycle, and everything on this planet and far beyond is influenced, driven, and controlled by our sun. Astronomy is a very ancient science, dating back to at least 35,000 years BC. There is no doubt that our ancient ancestors knew all about the cycles of the moon and sun, and that astronomy and astrology were one in the same thing until as recently as the 17th century in Europe. There is no doubt in my mind that about 5,000 years ago Stonehenge was built as an astronomical / astrological / religious / political clock and calendar.
Why is it then that both European and Chinese Astrology actually has it all wrong? There should be 13 star signs in European astrology to agree with the lunar cycle, and 11 animals in Chinese astrology to agree with the solar cycle. Turns out there are 13 astrological star signs, the 13th being Ophiucus, also turns out that the normally accepted dates for which star sign you were born under are wrong as well. Who knows why the ancient Chinese did anything.
Never underestimate The Power of 12. If man can make something add up to the very symbolic number 12, he is much happier than with, say 13, or 11. Thirteen is an ‘unlucky’ number, and the number 11 symbolises male and female equality, and that was an anathema to our ‘civilised’ ancestors.
Numerology is another very ancient mystical belief. Face it, back in the day when no ordinary person could read, write, or do arithmetic, anyone who could count had to be half way to being a powerful sorcerer or wizard. I believe in both unlucky 13, and even unluckier Friday 13th. Who at NASA thought it was a good idea to have an Apollo 13? (It made a great Tom Hanks movie.)
What scientific or logical basis is there for believing in the power of numbers? How and why does numerology work? Anything to do with numbers and mysticism is almost always laid at the door of Pythagoras, who, if the stories are to be believed was a genuine genius. Most genuine geniuses have weird cults built up around them and Pythagoras was no exception with Pythagoreanism, and that’s close enough to ‘cults’ like Satanism, the Knights Templar, Illuminati, and Freemasonry for me. These guys are all very into the power of geometry, (as am I ~ 3,4,5). And why is the Eye of Providence on the US one dollar bill?
Number rules the universe. ~ Pythagoras.
According to the theories of the collective unconscious and collective consciousness, and the fact that numbers do rule the universe, numerology just has to work, (in one form or another).
Some are deemed to have psychic powers, the capacity to supernaturally see things and do things which is denied to ‘ordinary’ people. Mostly I believe that real psychic abilities do not exist. However, I do believe that some people have greater faculties than most. For example, I know when people are lying. My ability to tell when someone is passing off ‘alternative facts’, or being ‘économique avec la actualité’ or especially ‘not telling the whole truth‘ is not something that I learned on purpose. My ability to be an almost infallible lie detector grew in me by accident, probably from childhood. I can’t ever turn this ability off, although more often than not I choose to ignore it ~ people don’t like it if you point out to them that you know they’re lying.
Something else some people have is ‘inherent omniscience‘ ~ if they want to some people can know everything there is to know about someone they’re with, or have met, and have talked with for a while. It seems very spooky, very mystical, and evidence of real psychic abilities ~ it isn’t.
So how does this work? It turns out that some people allow themselves to see and feel much more than others. Some people have a natural gift for this. If you want to know how to do this for yourself, then I suggest you spend a few years diligently studying Neuro Linguistic Programming. If you are of above average intelligence, quick of mind, and have an excellent memory, eventually you will be able to astound others with your own ‘psychic abilities’.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~ Arthur C. Clarke
There is more in this universe than mankind knows, or respectable scientists will admit. But I don’t believe any of it is given to us by the Gods, or is sorcery, or magic, or from the spirit realm. I firmly believe that what some see as magic is actually the application of advanced knowledge. In which case almost everyone and anyone can become a witch, sorcerer, psychic… All it takes is the desire, time, intelligence, and a hell of a lot of hard work.
It helps if you have a familiar called Pyewacket.
these thoughts are mine and mine alone
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE ~ THEREFORE MAGIC IS POSSIBLE
Magic; The power of influencing events using mysterious forces.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Impossible; Not able to occur, exist, or be done.
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to attempt the impossible.
Science; A systematically organised body of knowledge on a particular subject.
When a distinguished scientist states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
I believe in intuitions and inspirations… (Einstein)
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare)
These quotations and definitions are from unimpeachable sources. Studied closely they don’t make sense. But then, even the Bible says that nothing makes sense, (Ecclesiastes 1). Some things just do not make sense. Some things in science do not make sense. Nothing in quantum mechanics makes any sense at all. Infinity does not make sense in this universe. And, any competent practitioner of quantum electrodynamics can prove that water does not exist.
Magic is obviously impossible and nonsensical. Flight by machines heavier than air is unpractical and insignificant, if not utterly impossible. (Kelvin) Any student of classical aerodynamics can prove that the bumblebee cannot fly. Then the Wright bothers flew right though the smoke screen of impossibility.
Dragons are mythical creatures. One definition of dragon is a mythical monster like a giant reptile. If you were to travel to London’s Natural History Museum you will be able to see the skeletal remains of a mythical monster like a giant reptile, right there in the entrance hall. A lot of good Christians don’t believe in dinosaurs. A lot of good Christians don’t believe in nudity and Pan either.
The point is that it is much easier to claim that something is impossible than it is to prove it. Conversely, even if I could prove that magic was not only possible, but that it existed, and that I know how some of it works, (through practical experience), most respectable scientists would simply ignore the evidence. The Boomerang Effect shows that any evidence I could possibly present will only strengthen the attitude of someone who doesn’t believe in magic ~ they will become someone who really doesn’t believe in magic.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough. (Bohr) There is a t least one perfectly respectable area of science which is basically the study of magic. Psychology is the study of the human mind and its functions, especially the functions which affect behaviours. Some say that the most practically effective branch of psychology is Neuro-Linguistic Programming, (NLP). Some others say that NLP is a discredited pseudoscience. I have hard evidence that NLP works. From personal experience I can also state that the widely accepted Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (CBT), is so close to parts of Neuro-Linguistic Programming that you couldn’t get a cigarette paper between the two.
Why is psychology a branch of magic? Proper practical psychology embraces all aspects of the human experience, from child development to the actions of nations in conflict. Large elements of practical psychology have to be taken on trust by the end-user. Psychological therapies often work because the patient, (and the therapist), believe they are going to work. Believing you can recover is vital to recovery from mental illness. How far different is that from a voodoo witch doctor telling someone they are going to die on Tuesday, and because the victim believes they are going to die on Tuesday ~ send for the undertaker. Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. (Jung)
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming there is a basic technique for self improvement ~ Act As If. You want to stop drinking, gambling, and turn up for work looking and smelling clean. You are not going to cure your alcoholism overnight, but Act As If you were cured. Don’t drink as soon as you get out of bed, take a shower, shave, put some clean clothes on the clean body, Act As If you were a normal human being instead of a shambling alcoholic. The power of belief will carry you a long way. As well as in NLP, anyone who has been around Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) will have heard this Act As If mantra. The thing about AA is they only use stuff that works. Alcoholism is a deadly disease, they don’t dick around with fashionable slogans or do things for the sake of it.
The power of self-belief is a very basic form of magic. It is also unbelievably difficult. All magic is unbelievably difficult until the user really knows how. The application of practical magic will often require a great deal of sleep, mental preparation, meditation, subconscious thought, and massive self-belief. I firmly believe this is why cats are associated with practical magic, they have mental preparation and self-belief in bucket-loads.
One of the main principles of scientific method is Reproducibility. If Lab A can make rats drip green slime by doing B, then if it’s real science Lab C can also make rats drip green slime if they follow the same methodology. This is different from magic. In real magic, just because I can do something doesn’t mean that you can do the same thing ~ not unless I show you how, you have talent, and you work at it. There is no reproducibility in magical engineering.
One useful definition of magic is; the ability to cause an observable effect that cannot be reproduced by anyone else, but can by you. Give me a place to stand and I will move the Earth. (Archimedes)
Black holes are where God divided by zero. (Wright) Some things are probably impossible. Magic isn’t one of them, depending on how you would like to define magic. The application of magical engineering merely requires a suspension of disbelief, concentrated instruction, talent, and hard work.
I will explain how some of it works in later posts to this blog.