do not be just another sheep in the flock
To really live, first escape from the prison you made for yourself.
Some change, some significant shift in the way I think and feel has allowed me to better understand the infinite intricacies of life, to see my true inner self, and consequently gain a much greater self-awareness and feeling of self-confidence.
I firmly believe that I can now rise above the obstacles and pit-falls of this crazy chaotic life in a determined and assertive way. I know that I can follow the warrior’s path to happiness and genuine fulfillment. Quite suddenly and unexpectedly, there is a forceful and innovative energy bubbling away in the depths of my subconsciousness. Taken together this means that, since my return from a weird vacation in Turkey, I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to strike out on my own, to feel confident and liberated, in control of what is happening in my own life.
I have always had a great deal of financial freedom, but emotionally and spiritually I have been utterly repressed, a prisoner of my own inadequacies and the negativity of others. Now I need to engage my true strengths and inner abilities ~ I guess working out how to do that may take a little longer than I think.
I have always had a strong character and a strong will, but always seemed to be afraid of leaving the well established fortress of my comfort zone. I believe that I am no longer fearful of releasing my strong will and doing things quite differently from other people.
In my life it’s been much easier to follow the flow of everyone else, but that route will never allow anyone to reach their destiny and discover their own ultimate truth. It seems now is the time for me to become more of a leader, and less of just another sheep in the flock,
Perhaps it really is time for me to break free of the limitations I have created for myself, and others have created for me, by trying to conform to what I think I ‘should’ be doing. You can please some of the people most of the time if you do what they want, but no matter what you do, you can’t please all your family and friends all of the time.
To begin with, my new and different attitude felt rebellious and disrespectful, but I now know that if I don’t dare to be different, I will never realise just how much I can enjoy This Life.
Some say that you only get one chance to remake your life into what you have always wanted it to be. And, that everyone who is close to you will do everything they can to stop you from breaking away. All I know is that I can and will do just what my destiny calls me to do.
I am no longer a prisoner, I am a free man.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
sometimes all you need is a very cool car
Follow Your Dreams
The future is not something we enter.
The future is something we create.
My dreams have always been the fuel for my success. Without my dreams there could never have been any meaningful and lasting success in my life. And, some say I have been very successful ~ depending on how you measure success.
I firmly believe that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled. That all enlightened people have come to their enhanced state of happiness through achieving at least one of their dreams. There must always be something in your life that motivates, drives, excites, and captivates you, otherwise you are not living, you are just existing. Or, you may as well be living in a doorway on a sheet of cardboard.
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential….. these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. ~ Confucius
My dreams became the goals that pushed me to believe in the impossible, to make interesting and unexpected changes in my life, to get out of my comfort zone and take unimagined risks.
Sometimes we choose to ignore or forget what it is that we really love, want, need, and desire. We let ourselves be guided and driven by other people’s’ expectations. We think my parents will never support my ideas, and, my wife will never allow me to do this…..
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, courage, and hard work. Colin Powell
Really successful people never forget what they love to do, what they want, what they need, what they desire and lust after. Fortunate men and women learn to follow their own path and make the right choices ~ no matter how crazy or unpopular those choices might appear to others, especially parents and partners.
Think about this; If money was not an issue, what kind of life and work would you choose to have. Would you choose to live, or would you choose to just exist? If you aim to be perfect, if you aim to please everyone all of the time, then you will be very disappointed.
Some say that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled. And, that we should create plans, solutions, and strategies to achieve our wildest dreams. All I know is that today I live an enlightened life that others don’t even dare to dream about.
Sometimes, the Magic happens.
~
jack collier
email: jackcollier7@talktalk.net
last night, the England soccer team were not truly following their dream
Core Values
Core Values are who you are when no one is watching.
Appreciation of natural beauty is one of my core values.
I cannot claim to know, accept, and understand in detail what my core values about Life are. In fact, I even had to check the definition of ‘core values’ before I could work on knowing, accepting, and understanding my own core values. The various definitions seem to coalesce into;
Core Values are Fundamental Beliefs and Principles that guide a person’s conduct and relationships with others.
It would appear that Core Values can be positive, negative, or pretty meaningless and neutral. I firmly believe that almost everyone has all three types of core values, and we all have more negative core values than we would like to believe.
My own negative core values include;
- Everybody lies.
- The world is full of fools, and 90% of the people I meet will be much less intelligent than I.
- The world is a dangerous and brutal place, and a man has to be capable, knowledgable, and tough to survive and thrive.
- Casual sex, first date sex, sex with multiple partners, picking up girls in bars ~ are all reprehensible behaviours.
My more positive core values include;
- Treating my friends with kindness, consideration, acceptance, understanding, and unselfish love.
- A belief that there is great beauty in this world, and it should be protected, celebrated, and appreciated.
- Life is short, and I should therefore make the very most of every minute of every single day.
- I should continue to strive for self-improvement and self-awareness.
- We should treat all others as well as we possibly can, just as we ourselves would wish to be treated.
If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. ~ J.K. Rowling
As it goes, I have a small problem with the quote from J.K. Rowling, as it makes the assumption that some people are superior to others, ergo some people are inferior. Actually, this is true, but it is not a pleasant thought.
My wishy-washy, neutral and meaningless core beliefs include a belief that politics, and religion are pointless, dishonest, and self-serving. Which may really be more negative than neutral.
There are some other words which resonate with me when it comes to my core values;
Honesty, Integrity, Individuality, Enjoyment, Trustworthiness, Reliability, Wisdom, Simplicity, Learning, Discipline, Truthfulness, Politeness….. All of these words should probably form part of my written core values.
It’s actually all pretty difficult stuff. I think I need to meditate, or take a long walk, or just let my subconscious mind ponder the whole subject of my own core values for a while. It could take the rest of my life. It should take the rest of my life.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Dawn seen from the garret.
Sponsored by: http://www.amazon.com/shops/salinevalleyenterprises
What do women really want?
Women don’t like mind games. Most women like romance.
I’m just a guy, you know? Ergo I don’t actually understand the woman I care for, and sometimes I don’t really know what she wants from me. However, in an effort to be a ‘better’ guy I’ve been exploring the internet, and I believe these are the behaviours a woman would like me to bring to a relationship.
You know what? I worked out #1 all by my self.
- Do not be a jerk. (From time to time I have been a 21 carat jerk.)
- Give her respect. Respect her opinions, career, interests, friends, family, needs, dreams, and desires. Respect her body, her mind, and her soul. Accept and understand who and what she truly is.
- Give her time and space. She’s an independent lady, so don’t be clingy and dependent. She is not responsible for your happiness, you are. Don’t pressure her into doing things she’s not ready for. But, when she needs you, be generous with your own time; always be there for her.
- Be confident and capable ~ take charge when you need to. She needs to know that you can always be relied on to take the lead when necessary.
- Always help her to feel safe. Don’t ever be threatening, and if she’s worried about someone or something, or scared of something or someone ~ then help her to deal with it!
- Respect her privacy. Don’t ever intrude where she wants to be private, and never, ever, comment on what she posts on social media.
- Follow through with your plans and ideas. Women like to know that if a guy says he is going to do something, he will actually do it.
- Be completely honest, unless complete honesty is hurtful. Women don’t like liars, and once you have lost a woman’s trust it’s hard to get it back again.
- When it’s appropriate be romantic. And, what is truly romantic changes from time to time, and from woman to woman. To be romantic; You need to get to know her.
- Be polite, well-mannered, and well-spoken. Very good manners take a little effort ~ but I’m lucky here, I’m a true English Gentleman, and good manners come naturally to me. And never, ever get drunk when she’s around.
- Self-deprecating humour. Don’t make jokes at her expense, but it’s OK to poke fun at yourself. She will probably like gentle humour, and dislike you trying to be funny by being vicious and nasty about other people.
- If she ever feels the need to apologise, accept her apology with grace. Especially never, ever, mention the things she’s apologised for ever again.
- A Man should never be late. She may have no sense of time, she may always be late for everything, but you should always be there on time~ always. If you’ve promised to call at eight o’clock, then you should call her at exactly eight.
- Be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy. Women don’t seem to appreciate unreliability, a good guy needs to be the same good guy every minute of every day.
- Listen to her. When she wants to talk, listen patiently with acceptance and understanding. Don’t give her solutions she hasn’t asked for, just listen to her.
- Respond to her texts and emails in a timely manner. She may take forever to reply to you, but if you get a message from her, then respond as soon as is humanly possible.
- Always be clean, tidy, and well-groomed. You and your place should always be pretty immaculate, especially the bathroom. And, if you are ever invited to her place, treat it with the utmost respect. Clean your shoes, get a manicure, get a haircut, have some great pictures in your place….
- Be faithful in word and deed. Don’t screw around, don’t date other women, don’t constantly flirt with other women, don’t check out other women, don’t ‘like’ other women’s pictures on social media, and do not constantly jerk off to porn.
- Be complementary. Tell her she looks pretty, her hair’s nice, tell her you like her. and if it’s appropriate tell her that you love her.
- Do things just for her. Clean her car, make sure she’s always got petrol, (gas), in the tank, fix things for her, send her flowers and perfume, but bear in mind point #9, and be romantic in the right way and when it’s appropriate.
- Sex. Do not try too go to far and too fast. If anything, follow her lead, and remember point #10 , and always be polite and well-mannered. And, if and when you sleep with her, remember that her pleasure is important. You may need sex, but perhaps what she really wants is love.
Writing this stuff, it all makes perfect sense, and I don’t believe I’ve got anything badly wrong in this list. But, Ladies, if I have, then please feel free to tell me about it.
And, writing this stuff I realise that I do most of these good things most of the time, and some of them all of the time. Sadly, that isn’t good enough. Point #14 behoves me to be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy ~ I need to do all of the above all of the time.
That’s a tall order, but if she is worth it, and you really care, then she’s worth all of it all of the time.
In future, I shall make every effort to follow my advice from this list. I am going to do this stuff.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
pictures by Jack Vettriano
click on the book to buy
Sponsored by: http://www.amazon.com/shops/salinevalleyenterprises
music from a friend
The past is over, nothing reminds me of you.
~
I’m a guy.
I’m a bit older.
I’m very English.
My tastes are solid, maybe staid, and perhaps a bit inflexible. Art, Cars, Clothes, Food, Music… I seem to be one of those guys who thinks he knows what he likes and is reluctant to try something new.
Sometimes the new is surprising and apposite. As luck would have it, it just so happened that a friend sent me a couple of albums by a guy I’d never heard of; Ben Taylor. I liked his dad.
A track has the lyrics;
She always wants what she can’t have
Life is so cruel
She’s always good when she’s so bad
What can’t she do?
~
the killer line is;
She’s always thinking of someone, that’s how it goes…
~
Story of my life. All the women I have known always seem to be thinking of someone else.
~
Sometimes, just once, I’d like to know someone who wasn’t always living in the past. Who wanted to show me their colourful shoes, just because it’s me, and not because they really belong to someone else.
Letting yesterday affect today will only destroy the excitement of tomorrow. ~ Michelle Cruz-Rosado
Sometimes, it’s more than I can take. Life goes on regardless. The best is yet to come.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the energy of waves
Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome.
Waves are born on the wind, they live in the deep ocean where their power grows, and then, eventually, they die. Waves die of old age. Waves die as they crash upon the rocks. And, waves die softly and quietly as they gently caress the shore. In the end, everything and everyone dies.
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore, so do our minutes hasten to their end. ~ Shakespeare.
Waves are not objects like pebbles, or rocks, or cliffs. Waves are living things, more akin to clouds, more akin to trees, more akin to us. Waves are fascinating to watch, and waves are both science and art combined. Waves are filled with powerfully energetic emotions. Waves almost have personalities.
From time to time, one must release the grime built up inside them to free their emotions like the ocean. ~ Suzy Kassem.
Just as sound is not made of air, waves are not made of water ~ waves are made of energy. Waves do not move, only the energy within the wave moves. And energy is the mysterious force that binds everything in the Universe together. The movement of energy creates everything; the stars, the planets, atoms, life, relationships, love…
An understanding of the power of waves helps us to understand ourselves. Throw yourself against a rock, and you will break.
The energy within a wave is always changing, yet always stays the same. The energy within us and within our relationships is always changing yet always stays the same; relationship energies may move from disinterest, to desire, to love ~ and sometimes back again. In that way, our lives mirror the dark power of the waves.
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
photographs taken with a Lumix
click on the camera
get yourself free
~
you reach the end of day
just wishing you could fly away
from people, places and possessions
but as happens with all commitments
you can find yourself caught in such a trap
you get so used to it you can’t find your way back
just assert yourself and hope they won’t all desert you
you know when you are not yourself every day just hurts
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
no good deed goes unpunished
The Parable of the Good Samaritan.
These days I seldom dream. Last night I had a vivid dream reminding me of a moment in my past.
There was a roadside casualty, a girl in the gutter. Obviously I stopped my car, got out to give assistance, and while I was putting the girl in the recovery position someone drove off in my car. Then the girl got up and ran off, and a guy does not chase a woman late at night. All of which was a bummer because I was then stranded on the wrong side of London, late at night, no wallet and no cell. (We call them mobile phones, and my wallet was in my jacket in the damn car.) Just getting back to my place took until mid-morning, and then all the phone calls cancelling cards, contacting my insurance company, telling the office I wouldn’t be in…. And that was a great car, which I never saw again.
That wasn’t the first, or the last time, my being a ‘Good Samaritan’ caused me much grief, pain, and suffering.
From trying to help a drunken woman in the street, to giving my bank details to a charity worker, (bogus), to rescuing a woman who was being hassled by a drunk in a bar, to driving an acquaintance home late at night, to helping out a coworker solve a tricky problem, to not having first date sex with an inebriated woman… Well, the list of ‘nice’ things I’ve done which then caused me much grief goes on, and on, and on.
Too often in my life I have tried to do the right thing, to be the good guy, the man in the white suit ~ and what has it ever got me? Trouble.
Even in close relationships I’ve found, to my cost, that being a genuinely kind, caring, and considerate guy, leads to trouble in the end. Women can and will walk all over a nice guy.
It seems that many people see a good guy as a soft touch, someone that can be trampled underfoot, someone of no real account. A geek, a jerk, a loser.
Well, maybe that’s their loss.
I can retain my ethics and morality, but my dream tells me that I also need to exercise harsh judgement in the people I am prepared to be kind to. There is no more universally nice Jack Collier.
What ever became of the Good Samaritan anyway?
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
sleepless dark thoughts
~
conflicted consequences midnight conversations
capture consciousness with suspicious conflictions
half-held convictions considerations and reflections
untrustworthy late night speculation and impressions
bring brooding concentration by darkest moonshadows
~
words and pictures by jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Scenes on Sunday #28
Jaguar or Bus?
Valentine’s lovemaking in my sports car
Sweetheart, that was not ever going to be us
I’d never take our first conversation quite so far
but, I’d rather make love in a Jaguar than on a bus.
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words and pictures by jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
