Tag Archives: men and women

Did You See Lisa?

the most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or touched

Back in the day, when I was an insanely overpaid guy in international finance, I guess I had one friend.  This was his favourite song.

Neither of us had ever known a Lisa, nor ever hoped to meet a woman by that name.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this was our imaginary Lisa

Men, Advice, and Solutions

A man’s self-worth is defined by the results he can achieve.

Real Men Slay Dragons

Today, practical men are great at solving problems involving faulty electrics, leaking faucets, broken-down cars, busted appliances…..  Real men are crap at listening when all a woman wants is to talk about her feelings, or how her day was.  Masculine men are basically problem-solving machines.

To understand why a man always gives advice and solutions, when all a woman wants is for him to listen, you need to know how the male brain works.  And for a start, unlike women, men have dick-all connections between the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

A woman’s brain is organised for communication and empathy.  A woman’s brain is structured to talk, and the main purpose of her talking is to talk and share feelings.  For the most part she is not looking for solutions, advice, or answers, which is what the male brain is organised to provide.

Men evolved as mostly solitary hunters, and their main contribution to the survival of the human race was the ability to hit a moving target so that everyone could eat meat.  Prehistoric Man needed the ability to accurately throw a rock, club, or spear, either at edible targets or enemies who wanted to steal their food or who threatened their tribe.

As a result, men evolved a target-hitting and spacial awareness area in the brain, which uses up the part of the brain that forms the speech and communications centre in women.  Talking, listening, empathy, and emotions uses up odd bits of the male brain that aren’t used for much else ~ men don’t have a speech centre.  Women don’t have a spacial awareness, target-hitting, and throwing centre in their brain, which is why most women have a useless sense of direction and can’t read maps.

Early man turned into result-oriented creatures who measure their own success strictly by outcomes, accomplishments, and their ability to come up with solutions to problems.  A real man feels that he is the one person most capable of solving his own problems, and does not see any need to discuss them with anyone else.  Men will only ask another persons opinion about a problem if he is looking for expert advice; say from a doctor.  Unsolicited advice from a woman is not welcomed by any masculine guy.

Some women say that men have countless annoying traits.  And that a woman wants to be listened to, not fixed.  All I know is that real men don’t want to worry about toilet seats.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

put a real man on an idyllic desert island, and the first thing he’ll think about is how to get off it.

 

 

Expectations vs Reality

When you stop expecting people to be perfect,
then you can like them for who they are.

~

Believing our expectations causes pain because the expectations often clash with reality ~ with life as it really is, and the future as it is meant to be.  The expectation could be as simple as; I wish I didn’t have to go to the store today’ or the expectation could be powerful, such as ‘after all this I expect her to have sex with me’.  It could be an utterly impossible desire, such as wanting her to exercise hard to have a better body.

Whatever the disconnect is, any time we believe a thought that says Life should be different from the way it is now, then we will really suffer.  Every single time.

Have an expectation that isn’t completely under your own control, an expectation that says; ‘he / she should be different, Life should be different’, and you will get badly hurt.  Take life as it is, live in the moment, and don’t ever try to change another person, and most likely you won’t be hurt ~ or not so badly.  Even you cannot control the cosmos.

Some of the time we cannot even control our own thoughts, which have a tendency to drift off into fantastical flights of fancy, building castles in the clouds.  Most of the time we can’t control our own bodies; we get sick, we gain weight, we start looking older…..  What will happen will happen whether we like it or not ~ sometimes it’s best to pretend to like what’s happening, even if you secretly hate it.  Remember the adage ‘fake it to make it’.

If you don’t like something change it.  If you can’t change it, change your attitude.  ~  Maya Angelou.

Never focus so hard on what you want that you ignore what you already have.  Never believe that you can change a woman, because you can’t.  And, if you can’t live with what you have, then just walk away.  You certainly can never change her past.

Some say that men are quick to leave a relationship.  And that they almost always return.  All I know is that if you leave her, you should never, ever look back.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never date an alcoholic woman

it will not end well

 

Losing a Lover

Where there is true love there is joy in life.

~

once you had sunshine

once you had true love

desire always and ever

and then came the rain

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the ways of love can be cruel

28 Days

It is not the length of life that matters, but the depth of life.

What would you do if you knew that you only had one month to live?  Or just one day ~ until noon?

Some say that they would finally say goodbye to all of their friends and family, put their affairs in order, and quietly sit down and wait for the grim reaper to call.

Others say they would tick off as many things on their bucket list as they could.  They forget that wherever they go they take their whole life along with them.

And then there are those facing certain death who retreat into denial with religion and a bottle of booze.

Not that I believe that I am anywhere near the end of days, but I’ve had to seriously accept that my time on this planet is numbered, and the count-down started the day I was conceived.

I get the feeling that I don’t belong here, that everything good is so hard to hear, they’re just not listening.  I’ve walked so far along the warrior’s path that sometimes I aim too high.  I get the feeling that I am among the lucky few who has been able to accept that winter comes eventually.

So, with the assumption that I have 28 Days to Live, how does that change what’s left of my life?

  • Money is worthless.
  • Possessions are useless.
  • Unhappiness is pointless.
  • Stale relationships don’t matter at all.
  • Negativity and judgementalism are a waste of time.

Only people, places, and things I do that bring me immediate happiness, contentment, and serenity deserve any place in what’s left of my life.  Making other people happy may give me vicarious satisfaction, but that matters not one jot.  Nothing lasts forever, people change their minds, and today is just another day.  Living life to the fullest, seizing the day, means that I will only be around those who can fill my life with a kaleidoscope of colour.

My castle is in the clouds, and if others don’t want to go there then they can fuck off and have a nice day without me.

Some men say that she holds their heart in their hands.  And, that if they can’t have her their life can never be complete.  All I know is that it will be all right without her, I will be as strong as I can be.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a man with 28 days to live should perhaps find a woman who has fabulous legs

 

Inner Distress and Compulsions

Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,
but from wanting to control it.  ~  Khalil Gibran

To a greater or lesser degree we all suffer from what the medical profession call endogenous anxiety / depression ~ which is a complicated way of saying that your therapist / psychiatrist / doctor has no idea why you sometimes feel bad and sometimes go off the rails.

I firmly believe that the underlying cause of all the anxiety, distress, depressions, compulsions, and weaknesses we sometimes suffer from is the direct result of the programming we received before our conscious minds were developed enough to filter out all the bad crap we were subjected to.  Even before you were born, your subconscious mind, body, and spirit was receiving the shitty, negative programs you still live by today.  Remember, your subconscious mind is running things for about 90% of the time.

After conception, right up to the age of around 7, your mind, body, and spirit were being programmed by everything in your environment ~ especially your parents, siblings, other members of your extended family, teachers, TV, & etc. & etc.  And you know what?  It’s all the bad, negative, and defective stuff that really sticks.

The likelihood is that your subconscious mind is full of stuff like; ‘the world is a dangerous place’ ‘people are not to be trusted’ ‘you have to struggle to survive’ and ‘you have to fight to get what you need, want, and desire’.

I also firmly believe that our inner distress is why we may struggle with addictions and compulsions like; booze, casual sex, a bad diet, drugs, health, lack of exercise, money problems, smoking, impulsive behaviours, and all those defects of character we might have, or that others say we have.

How can we fix this?  Not through willpower, self-discipline, nor self-control.  The only way I know to escape the inner distress, anxiety, depression, compulsions, and addictions we honestly accept and admit we suffer from is through a long time, (maybe years), of acting as if these problems and bad feelings did not exist.  Or as they say in 12 Step Groups fake it to make it.

Some say that only the weak do things that they really shouldn’t.  And that anyone can cure their own addictions and defects of character if they just use a little willpower and self-control.  All I know is that every worthwhile person I have ever met has suffered from profound inner distress

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

your subconscious mind can become your own prison

The Red Rose Bites

A single red rose celebrates love’s joyous triumph.

~

love is a rose

soft and ruby-red

the petals finally fall

but dead thorns remain

while a forlorn love bleeds

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

tasting the rose of love

while ignoring the thorn’s bite

The Lady Loves

Sex without real love is as pointless as love without great sex.

~

sex,

lovers,

sensuality,

hot sexiness,

the lady adores,

his cool advances,

he takes every chance,

she loves a sexual dance,

she entrances with a glance,

amorous excitement, romance,

is this true friendship, love or sex?

real dominatrix or submissive enough?

does she like very hard, passionate, rough?

or a slow sensual romantic gentle caring love?

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

or maybe she likes meaningless casual animal sex

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Shania Twain

Never try to impress a woman ~ she’s seen and heard it all before.

What’s likely to impress a woman, and what isn’t?

Outside of a new love’s first bliss, I don’t know any really cool woman who isn’t going to think this line is totally sick making;  The darkest hour of my day is the hour in which I don’t get to see you.  ~  Amit Kalantri.  It’s a cute line, but to me it’s not cool, and not impressive.

Actually, that may not be quite true, it’s all about the mood, the moment, the time, the place, and the delivery.  But, in my experience, a line like that is just trying too hard.

In general terms, the harder a guy tries to impress a cool, mature, together woman, the less impressed she is likely to be.  The thing is, boys have been trying to impress her ever since they first noticed that she was a girl ~ so you’ve got twenty years of her cynicism to overcome.

Unless you’re Steve McQueen forget about impressing her, and just be true to yourself.  If that’s not enough then politely say goodbye ~ some say there’s always a nicer, prettier, sexier girl just around the corner.  Me I’m not always so certain.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Next to Snoopy, who was ever cooler?

Relationships

A wise woman should have money in her head, not in her heart.

Yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, I was at the dentist to have a tooth extracted.  You get a local anaesthetic, which my not be quite as local as one thinks.  Because after my trip to the dentist I wrote and said some things that were truthfully hurtful.

Under the effects of that local I realised that;

One cannot forget one’s past.

Everything you have done is always a part of you.

Women, most of all, want a guy who has a lot of money.

I am very cool with all of that, my friend in California is not.  She hates that I know her for what she was and is.

But, there was a rope that tethered me to her, and without her my life would have been incomplete and unresolved.  I know that I need to be honest and open with her, and calling her a slut isn’t such a positive thing to say, even if it’s true.

There is an opportunity for me. It maybe comes once in a lifetime.

I need to put the past behind me, especially where it comes to the woman who used to matter to me the most.  She is yesterday.

The past is where it belongs, and I can now progress on the next stage of my life.  I am done with the Californian girl.

Falling for a woman who used to think casual sex, younger men, and cocaine were cool may not have been the best thing I ever did.

Things may be frustrating right now, but I know that patience and perseverance will pay off in the end.

And I might have found a kitten to cuddle.

The pictures today are just because I like them.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

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