Tag Archives: men and women

Tunes on Tuesday ~ TV Shows Dance Party

it can’t be bad if it makes you laugh

My only excuse for posting this is that it makes me feel happy.

I definitely don’t remember some of these TV shows.

Maybe we didn’t get them here in staid old England.

Burn Baby Burn is such a great track.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Farrah Fawcett was not the world’s best dancer

very 70’s hair though, (a natural blonde?)

 

Monochrome Monday ~ White Christmas

some say that black Christmases matter too

Excuse my irreverence, but if I can have a black beach here, then I’m pretty certain I can get black snow here too.  It’s Bing Crosby, White Christmas, in black and white monochrome.

The song White Christmas has featured in innumerable movies, and over 100 million copies of this simple melody have been sold on various media since its first release in 1942.  Bing Crosby and Irving Berlin must have been chuffed to bits.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

that beach is black

it’s made of pulverised coal

Songs on Saturday ~ Stop The Cavalry

one day, peace on Earth will come to stay

Back in the ’80s we had some pretty wild office Christmas parties.  This song from Jona Lewie was always on the playlist.  How you danced to this track depended on how late in the evening it had gotten ~ hold me close.

Please listen with a little nostalgia.

Remembering better Christmases past.

One day, Christmas parties will return for us.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

worth waiting for

The Snake In My Head

you cannot fix something if you don’t know it’s broken

Each and every one of us is programmed ~ what we think, what we believe, how we behave, what we like and what we dislike are automatic responses, programmed reactions and actions buried deep in our subconscious.  Our conscious minds only govern what we do about 10% of the time, and most of the time what our conscious minds do, think, and feel is based on all that stuff way down in our unconsciousness.  So, if you are scared of snakes, it isn’t a conscious thing, it’s actually a primeval race-memory so far down in your subconscious you don’t even know it’s there until the first time you come across a serpent.

If you have problems in your life, if you can’t handle certain situations, if you keep lurching from one disastrous relationship to another, then you are not consciously doing that on purpose.  A string of dysfunctional relationships in your past, and the likelihood that you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again in the future, means that there is something dysfunctional with the tapes in your unconscious mind.

The scary thing is that all that programming, all of your beliefs, behaviors, and opinions were put there before you were seven years old.  The adults in your life; your parents, your wider family, older siblings, teachers impressed their thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, and prejudices upon your unformed mind while you were still a child.  And there was nothing whatsoever you could do about it.  Ergo, if you are a borderline alcoholic, drug addict, a heavy smoker, or obese ~ it’s not all your own fault.  If you’re promiscuous, dishonest, and continually finding yourself in toxic relationships, then that’s not completely your fault either.  It’s because you were taught all those things when you didn’t know any better.

Before I was five years old I was taught that women are lying bitches, and that men who have anything to do with women are bad.  I was taught that sex is nasty, dirty, and wrong.  I was taught that love is meaningless, that interpersonal relationships are always toxic, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin that will send me to hell.  I know who did that to me.

It took me right up until a few days ago to realise this, to truly know what was broken in me.  Right up until a few days ago my life was dysfunctional, I was unable to have a stable relationship, I couldn’t ever be truly open, honest, trusting, or loving.  My life was toxic.  I drank to much to escape the way I always acted and reacted.

If that is anything like you, then look deep within to find out what is broken in you.  Then, when you know what’s broken you might have some chance of fixing it.  Be like me and kill the snake in your mind.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it wasn’t all her own fault that Red Riding Hood liked wolves just a little too much

Songs on Saturday ~ Lindisfarne

the more violent the storm, the quicker it passes

Last night I dreamed of this song from the days of my youth.  I’ve chosen it for today because meeting someone on the corner, just as it’s getting dark, is just about the only way on can get to be with a close friend.  Lockdown has a lot to answer for.

The acoustic guitar player has just about the coolest facial hair ever, if you like that kind of thing.  Reminds me of a certain muppet.

Please listen with a smile.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Lindisfarne is a magical place

one day I will take you there

Sharing Love

love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies

Well, perhaps, but even in the truest of loves between the most compatible of people each of them has their own separate road to walk.  They may walk it together, supporting each other always, and the one may carry the other for a time, but each one wants / should / must have their own choices to make.  It is a truism that you cannot / should not / must not try to live another person’s life for them.

More than that, almost every adult craves their independence, needs their time alone, and wants to be able to make their own mistakes.  The thing about romantic partnerships and love is that the partners should be good friends, perhaps each another’s very best friend.  And the thing about very good friends is that you don’t always want to see them, but you always want to know that they’re there.

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main….. ~ John Donne

Sharing everything with your partner might sound ideal, and I guess many young lovers strive for that perfect ideal, but there is nothing worse in life than perfection.  Living in your partner’s pocket is claustrophobic, actually living with anyone every minute of every single day, month in and month out, would constitute a cruel and unusual punishment in most legal systems.  But solitary confinement is even worse.

How much you share with your partner, and how much of your partner you share with others is, like all of life, a balancing act.  But I would strongly suggest that sharing absolutely everything isn’t going to work for most people.

Here I can best speak for myself; a real, honest, honourable, steadfast, and true man.  And I need time alone, not fully engaged with anyone or anything other than myself, my innermost thoughts, and the Goddess of my understanding.  Men such as I tend to seek out solitary pastimes ~ I take long meditative walks by the sea.  But from time to time some company is nice.

Most men have very poor conversational skills in comparison to their female partner, so telling her about ‘everything that happened in my day’ is difficult for men.  Similarly, listening to her narrate her day’s events is hard for men.  And trust me on this; some of the things she may have done he will not ever want to know.  Men have very poor empathy in comparison to women.

And then; a man’s feelings, drives, and needs are very different from a woman’s.  He will not ever want to know about your past and the other men in it, and if he does a woman should worry.  The same goes for men in your present life, (coworkers and such).

People who want to know everything about you and live with you 24 / 7 are but one step from spying, stalking, and gaslighting.  Maybe ~ so give each other some space.

(there is a whole other set of meanings about ‘sharing’ in relationships ~ but I’m not going to go there)

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most women would not want to be chained

not all the time anyway

Random Jottings ~ Sunshine Love

love is the sunshine of the soul

~

you were the sunshine of my life

so why did you rain on my parade?

~

my lover was the moon and stars to me

shame they were someone else’s sunshine

~

bright flowers die without sunshine

and a real man cannot live without a woman’s love
~

she burst into my life like a thousand blazing suns

and then I got burned

~

the real truth of true love is that the sun always shines

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

trust that the sun will shine

someday soon

Random Jottings #16

if I agreed with you, then we would both be wrong

~

you may be right, but I don’t agree

~

rather than face a pack of wolves in the depths of  winter than contradict a woman

~

the temperature was up to 95 outside, but there was an icy look in her eyes

~

love is a journey of adventures, so sit back and enjoy the ride

~

she would always do the right thing after trying everything else first

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

please don’t leave me

I can’t unless you give me the key

a final tryst

the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
a dateless bargain to engrossing death

~

A winter midnight and the light was strange.  A glow that cascades, softly falling from darkness, carefully arranging long shadows cast in deep silver blackness.

A castle dark, a fortress strong, and set in the tallest lonely tower a locked room holds and coldly embraces the lovers’ fatal final tryst.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

we will never be set free from these chains upon our love until we embrace the moonlight

What Do You Want In your Life?

life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all

look towards the far horizons

Might I suggest that you take some time out to be with yourself, find a time and space where you can be alone with your thoughts, an hour and a place where you will be certain of just a little privacy, and ask yourself some simple questions.

  • What do I need?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What is it in my life that’s making me unhappy?
  • What and who am I afraid of, and why is that?
  • Where and when do I feel safe and comfortable?
  • What is happening to my health, why am I tired all the time?
  • When and how can I make some time for myself?
  • Who are my friends, and who can I really trust?
  • How can I spend more time with my real friends?
  • How can I express myself, how do I show the real me to the world?
  • How can I connect with the people I love and care about?
  • How can I pay all the bills this month, what about the mortgage?
  • How do I find the time to do the shopping, and how do I pay for it?
  • If I leave, who is going to do everything that needs doing around here?
  • How can I ever show my face in that bar, ever again?

Some of these are big important questions, and some may seem more trivial, but if you ask yourself any of these questions, then the answers are very important to you.  If you try to look at the big and very important questions first, then you may become discouraged because they are just too difficult to answer.  So maybe don’t look for any answers at all just now.  Just for now concentrate on the questions, write them down in your journal, or notebook, but for Gods sakes don’t leave your jottings anywhere where anyone else has the slightest chance in Hades of finding them.

If all that seems to difficult, then make the questions simpler, like;

  • How do I feel today?
  • What excites me?
  • Who has captured my heart?
  • What I want is…..
  • My heart longs for…..

Or perhaps write all this stuff down, and then burn it, and flush the ashes down the toilet to join your failed marriage / relationship / friendship / love / partnership / shitty job.

Only by knowing what it is that we really want, need, and desire ~ and what we don’t want in our life under any circumstances can we move on in any constructive and positive way.

Some say that we have to understand what our needs are, first and foremost.  And that if you don’t know what your needs are how can you ever satisfy them.  All I know is that the more you are forced to give to others, the more you need to give to yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

give yourself a wonderful sunrise,

enjoy the peace of the natural world

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