Tag Archives: Memory

Remembering Old Friends

if you remember people, then they will remember you

don’t just be one of the crowd

This is the time of year that most of us think back and remember old friends we haven’t seen for years, or even family members we hardly ever meet.  I’m reminded of that with every Christmas card I write, and by each one I receive.  Every year I am glad that I keep a Christmas card list, with up to date names and addresses, and that I take the trouble to send a card to everyone on the list.  And like many people nowadays I add a few lines about what my year has been like.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.  ~  Dale Carnigie

There are some places I can go where I am almost certain to be recognised by someone I haven’t seen in years ~ and then I have to dredge through the corridors of my mind to put a name to the face.  I’s actually surprising and delightful when someone you haven’t met for a long time shows that they remember you ~ and it’s cool to be able to show the same courtesy.

It may seem insignificant but, if you remember people, they will remember you and that’s essential if you want to be successful in Life and Love.  Some may find this easy, if they have the kind of photographic memory that can recall faces, names, places, and events ~ but we can all do this too with just a little work.  Back in the day I used to keep a notebook; names and a few personal details of the interesting people I met.  If you’re a guy it’s doubly essential that you remember the women you meet.

The most important thing is to listen ~ stop talking, let other people talk for a change, and really listen.  That doesn’t mean saying nothing, a real man’s role in a conversation is to ask questions and encourage the other person, (or people), to share things about themselves.  Look for things that truly matter to them.  You will learn so much more about people if you try this, and when I was a deliberately good listener I learned a hell of a lot about myself too.

But, FFS, don’t make notes where others can see you writing stuff down.  That will get you into trouble ~ you may even get your face slapped.  I did.

If your notebook is to have any point, then you have to do something with it, preferably at the end of every day.  These days the best thing to do would be to create some kind of a database or computerised directory, even if it’s just simple stuff like partner’s name, children’s names, birthdays, where they work, what they’re vitally interested in…..  Back in the day I had a card index.  These days I have a Christmas card list.

Some say that it’s pointless remembering people because you may never meet them again.  And that listening to other people talk is incredibly boring.  All I know is that I used to be the best there ever was, because I remembered people.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

if you want to be successful in Love

the at least get her name right

The Invention of Memory

You can close your eyes to reality, but not to your memories.

In a very full life I have known some people with very bad memories, they just can’t or won’t remember anything much.  I’ve been told by a close friend that it’s possible to completely forget years and years of your early childhood.  And, I’ve known people with false memories, manufactured memories, and memories that were implanted into their subconscious mind.  Thoughts and memories are just chemical changes and electrical impulses and charges inside your brain ~ memories are easily altered.

A memory of the past which is either non-existent, false, manufactured, or implanted is often the result of alcohol abuse, the abuse of prescription drugs, or using any street drugs at all, especially marijuana.  Booze and drugs tend to destroy the memory vitamins B1 and B12, and the negative effects on memory can go on for years after the heavy drinking or drug taking has stopped.  Booze, in particular, robs the body of B vitamins.  Lack of B1 and B12 has other very bad effects; slowness, confusion, fatigue, irritability, apathy, poor sleep, insomnia, and shortness of breath.

But then, all memories are untrue, because we see the past through the prism of the present ~ all of our present-day character defects and positive character traits change how we remember the past.

Our experiences of pleasure, ecstasy, pain, suffering, and loss extend far beyond our personal recollections.  When we tell others of our memories, then they will react, remember, and retell our memories back to us.  And when we tell others of our past we cannot ever tell the whole truth.

Sometimes we are afraid to admit our past, and sometimes we are ashamed to tell the whole truth.  Also, we can never fully remember the truth of our past.  Our incomplete and inaccurate memories of the past go on to tint our picture of the present, and our expectations of the future.  Sometimes what we think we remember is an event that’s actually happening right now, or we expect to happen in the future, or will happen in the future.  A memory of the past may be nothing of the sort ~ especially if you use alcohol or drugs.  Smoking doesn’t help much with remembering things either.

Some say they can’t remember names, or faces.  And, that they’re always forgetting where they left their car keys.  All I know is that I’m cursed with an eidetic memory.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net.

 

drinking and smoking are no good for your memory and brain health

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