Tag Archives: Love and Sex

a witch with angel eyes

I had my share of nightmares
didn’t think there could be much more
then in walked Rodrick Usher with the Lady Elanor

only the moon and stars know,

where you got those pretty blue eyes,

that smile while you tell such elegant lies,

you must have fallen down from out of the sky,

you must be some sort of witch to torment a guy,

who’s unwise as to fall hard for your delicate disguise,

your every word of tenderness a tormenting sweet caress,

but I know just who you are, and I know your long goodbyes.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

she sang me a starlight sexual lullaby,

a thousand times, or maybe more,

and in the end, she didn’t care

Quantum Psychology

I want the moon to be there, even when I’m not looking at it.

Nobody really understands quantum mechanics, or quantum physics, or quantum biology, or quantum psychology, or quantum theory.

If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet.  ~  Niels Bohr

I have long been fascinated by the spooky world of quantum physics and quantum mechanics, where nothing makes sense, everything is possible, the totally weird is commonplace, and things seem to happen by random chance.  Many respectable scientists will have nothing whatsoever to do with anything called Quantum ~ even Albert Einstein was unhappy about quantum physics.

God does not play dice with the universe.  ~  Albert Einstein

Recently I discovered that there is a thing called quantum biology, where quantum effects are applied to biological objects, events, and problems.

It occurred to me that the spooky stuff in quantum mechanics could also be applied to physical, mental, sexual, and spiritual events and effects in humans.  That there should be something called quantum psychology.  It turns out that some other people believe that quantum psychology does exist, and they believe it is strange, spooky, and probably doesn’t make sense.  In fact, anything to do with the quantum world is counterintuitive and goes against ‘common sense’.

If the word ‘fuck’ is obscene or dirty, why isn’t the word ‘duck’ 75% dirty.  ~  Robert Anton Wilson.

The reason I started to believe in quantum psychology is that, from time to time, I have been instantly affected, (in real time), by thoughts and feelings my friend has, even though she is 5,256 miles away in Orange County, Southern California.  There is a phenomena in quantum physics called quantum entanglement, where actions performed on one entangled particle affect the other, even when the entangled particles are separated by a great distance.  Albert Einstein called this spooky connections and spooky action at a distance.  I believe this spooky connection exists in quantum psychology, which is why things my friend does, thinks, or feels in California can affect me here in England.

This is weird, but if quantum psychology really does exist, then it is guaranteed to be weird.  Quantum physics reveals the basic interconnectedness and oneness of all things in the universe, which reveals that all people are connected at some level, therefore I am connected to my friend, even when I’m in England and she is in Southern California.

…so many people have been hypnotized by Aristotelian yes / no logic to the extent that any step beyond that Bronze Age mythos seems to them a whirling, dizzying plunge into a pit of Chaos and the Dark Night of Nihilism.  ~  Robert Anton Wilson.

This means that in the quantum world boolean algebra, which is basically yes / no and 0 or 1 logic, does not exist, or does not always apply.  In the quantum world, in the world of quantum psychology, true and false do not actually exist.  This absolutely mirrors the real world of medical psychology and practical psychology, where everybody lies, nothing is completely true, and understanding people is more of a black art than a science.

One of the sayings I found most useful form my study of Neuro Linguistic Programming is that information does not have to be true to be useful.  The theories of Quantum Psychology may not be completely true, but they are a very useful way of understanding intimate interpersonal relationships.  The theories of quantum psychology may even help men understand women.

Some women anyhow.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

click on the book

 

 

 

 

Sponsored by:  http://www.amazon.com/shops/salinevalleyenterprises

ethereal eroticism

woman

~

painted, soignée in ethereal moonlight

sweet as ripened fig, breast soft dove

gladly welcoming me in quiet night

willing open giving sensual love

exploring passion and delight

moaning soft as she comes

quiet rest holding tight

as stars shine above

~

assjackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

The Road Less Travelled

Alternative Living # 9 ~ Solitude and Mental Health

P1040319

Most of my life has been spent alone.  When I was a child I sought solitude.  When I bought my first place I lived alone for 5 years.  Even when I had a partner I spent most of my time alone, travelling, being ‘on the road’ for work, living out of suitcases in lonely hotels 4, 5 or 6 days a week.  And now, I have lived alone in the seaside apartment I call ‘the garret’ for over ten years, and nobody is allowed into the garret.

Turns out that spending too much time alone can be very bad for your mental and spiritual health.

Turns out that some of the things I’ve done in the past few weeks have convinced me that I am spiritually /mentally ill ~ and you probably have no idea how much it hurts to admit that in writing.  I am pretty certain that I have become a sexually repressed obsessive alcoholic who also suffers from stress, anxiety and depression.  Maybe with a few other problems thrown in.

Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery ~ and there is a plan I can use to become the true me, without the baggage of behavioural problems I have been carrying.  Admitting that life is difficult is the second step to recovery.

Life is difficult.  This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.  It is a great truth because once we see the truth, we transcend it.  Once we truly know that life is difficult ~ once we truly understand and accept it ~ then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.  ~  M. Scott Peck from The Road Less Travelled.

I belive that Dr. Peck’s book is based on The Four Noble Truths from Buddhist teachings.  The Four Noble Truths lead to the Noble Eightfold Path, and it’s this road I intend to follow to recover from my need to avoid all pain, my suffering of uncontrollable cravings and lusts, seeking out and clinging only to what is pleasurable.  It is a long journey, not a final destination, to my becoming the good and true person I know I can be.

Wish me well.  ~  jackcoller7@talktalk.net

~

eightfold path

 

Dawn’s Desires

P1010500

Winter is finally here

your warm body to hold

takes away my fears

soothes my troubled soul

whispering so near

as dawn’s blue red and gold

wakens my desire

have we ever been so close?

I have never felt so loved

in your arms forever

your lips are gently saying

‘I love you’

~

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Garden of Rocks

P1010385

If your path is strewn with rocks

likely you made it that way

All men turn a good thing bad

seeing nothing worth nurturing

Give a man a woman’s love

and he will betray her without thought

Give a man your heart

and he will throw it into the dust

Give a man a true friend

and he will think friendship unnecessary

Give a man riches

and soon he will be a beggar

Give a man cool, clear water

and he will lust for wine

Give a man bright clouds and sunshine

and he will want dark clouds and rain

Give a man a glimpse of spirituality

and he will use science to negate it

Give a man God

and soon he will be graceless

Give a man the Garden of Eden

and he will cover it with rocks

~

words and picture by jack collier

JackCollier7@talktalk.net

When You’re Alone

LIFE IS FULL OF LONELINESS, MISERY AND SUFFERING

Some men give up on relationships and decide they would be better off on their own.

old-man-fishing

is it better for a man to be alone?

Man is a social animal.  Human beings generally prefer to live in a community.  Our lives depend on other humans.  Our connections to others is the key to our survival, success, and happiness.  Any man who is unsocial is either beneath our notice or more than human.  Hard experience teaches us that women are by nature far more social than men.  The same hard experience teaches us that women have a more complex and deeper set of emotions than do men, but that men find difficulty in coping with any emotions whatsoever.  The things others do can change the way we feel, think and act.  Most people don’t like to be alone, and the presence of specific others can give us great pleasure.  Love and sex is mostly better when there is a man and a woman involved.

CASUAL-SEX

love and sex is usually better if there is a man and a woman involved

What all this means is that our happiness may appear to depend on other human beings.

Putting one’s happiness in the hands of another is a guaranteed road to unhappiness.  Yet this is a mistake most of us make, most of the time.  Even the English language conspires to make certain most of us rely on others to validate our feelings; ‘You made me unhappy…’  how often have you heard something like that?  How unfair is that?  Making someone else responsible for your feelings puts everyone in an impossible situation.  Half of the time I don’t even know what I feel, let alone the proximate cause of those feelings.  Most psychologists will tell you that we are each responsible for our own feelings, and practical experience tells me that as soon as I rely on the actions or assumed feelings of someone else to create my feelings, then it’s one short step to deep unhappiness.

Why then is this unstable dichotomy such a universal model, particularly in romantic relationships?

Partly it’s learned behaviour, and by learned I mean it begins in infancy.  Just about the worst thing that can happen to an infant is being abandoned by its mother.  Generally that results in the death of the infant, unless a surrogate mother is immediately available and willing to take on the baby.  Probably from the moment of birth, (perhaps before that even), an infant has a healthy fear of being alone.  For an infant; Being Alone = Being Dead

A morbid fear of being alone is either called Autophobia or Monophobia, depending upon the exact flavour of the fear.  This kind of distress can be characterised as a fear of being lonely, and then by a fear of being without a specific person.  Sounds as though all romantic relationships have a little of that going on.

As adults, we are each in control of our own lives.  Many find that a scary situation.  Almost all of us have been raised in a group, with all the complexities of group dynamics imprinted onto our psyche from an early age.  If we have been lucky we will have been raised in a stable, two-parent, family, with siblings.  The snag is that this teaches us all about worry and guilt.  Guilt in this case meaning that universal currency in interpersonal relationships; ‘You did something I don’t like, therefore I will not love you, unless you do something extra for me to make up for your mistake…’

Supposedly guilt is different from remorse, but most dictionaries include the one word in their definition of the other.  Both guilt and remorse are about the past.  The Past is Past and Gone, there is nothing anyone can do about it.  so, unless you have genuinely done something wrong, are honestly sorry about that, and intend to change your behaviour in the future, guilt is mostly pointless.

Worry is generally about being afraid of doing something / not doing something, the net result of which is that people we consider important to our happiness will not love us as much as we want them to.  Going further than that, worry is about the fear that people in whom we have placed responsibility for our happiness will ultimately abandon us.  Nothing is forever.  Change is the natural order of things.  Worrying is very pointless.

Some say that worrying is what stops bad things from happening ~ that if bankers had worried a bit more about sub-prime mortgages we wouldn’t have had a financial crash.  Or, that if Lana Del Rey worried a bit more about her reputation she wouldn’t have recorded a song called Fucked My Way Up To The Top.

As it goes this is all rubbish.  Worrying achieves nothing.  If we want the present and future to be different to the way they are likely to be, then we need to make a plan and solve the problem.  Wishing does not make it so.  Dread does nothing to stop bad things from happening.  Fear of change is usually worse than change itself.  Unrequited love is a problem to be solved, not something you need to live with.

tom-hanks-and-cast-away

just because you love her doesn’t mean she is in love with you

In most societies the stable interpersonal relationship is between one man and one woman.  Sometimes this relationship is formalised as marriage, and it is to be assumed that no two people get married with the intention of making the both of them miserable.  Yet this is what happens, often people get so unhappy with one-another that the marriage ends in divorce.  With divorce goes blame, which mostly consists of accusing the other person of not doing enough to make you happy.  Putting the responsibility for your happiness in the hand of another is like trusting politicians ~ eventually you will be disappointed.

Stress is necessary for survival.  Without some stress the mind and body will die.  Sensory Deprivation is a form of torture.  Too much of the wrong sort of stress will make you very ill.  Having responsibility without power is extremely stressful.  You have to feel your feelings, you are responsible for feeling your own feelings.  If you put your happiness into the hand of another then you have given up your power to change your feelings.  You will be unhappy, stressed, get drunk, feel ill, attempt suicide…,  All the crap that goes along with bad romantic relationships.

Woman-taking-off-wedding

women can do hurtful things to men

Assume responsibility for your own feelings.  Your worth as a human being is not measured by what others think about you.  You are not responsible for the happiness of others, and they are not responsible for your happiness.  Men should not rely on a woman / women for their happiness.  Women are unreliable by their very nature, they can’t help it.  Women do things to make men deeply unhappy without even realising they are doing it.  Wives and girlfriends are not just readily available sex, they are complex and unpredictable creatures almost designed to create feelings in men, and men have difficulty dealing with feelings.  Do not make her responsible for your happiness, unless you want to be unhappy for the majority of the time.

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