Tag Archives: lockdown

Monochrome Monday ~ Alone

it’s not good to be lonely, alone, and sick

I was hoping to feel better today, not suffering so much from the symptoms of low blood pressure, and whatever the underlying cause is.  Actually I do feel better, but that’s just comparing one level of distress with another.  I still have no energy, I’m still pretty much confused, and I still want to throw up.  We have a word; Manky, and that’s how I’m feeling this morning.

Hopefully I will get to see my own doctor today.

I’ll get through this.

The pictures are a visual expression of my mood.

It’s 6 months since I had a face-to-face conversation with anyone.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

pretty much what lockdown for almost a year feels lke

Day 333

not everyone is insane but some are depressed

I’m not howling at the moon

I thought that I was going crazy.  I was struggling to get out of bed in the morning, to keep myself and the garret clean, to find any interest in anything at all.  I believed that being in solitary confinement for almost a year had given me a bad case of lockdown depression ~ the whole world is grey and meaningless kind of depression.  The absence of feelings that leads to substance abuse and self harm.

The doctors don’t think that’s the case.  It turns out that there is something physically wrong with me.  It seems that I am sick in body, but not in mind and spirit.  And, somehow that’s good.  A physical illness can be treated and cured more easily and more effectively than can a mental illness.

The snag is that thus far nobody has any idea what’s wrong with me.  Yesterday I had another physical and another lot of blood taken for testing.  Next Friday I’m going for an MRI scan.  The doctors will find out what I’m suffering from, and what kind of treatment is appropriate ~ it’s just that it’s taking a little while.  But at least I’m getting all the tests they think I need.

What I know so far is that I’m not suffering from anxiety and depression ~ which is good.  And, after yesterday I know that my blood pressure is fine, without medication.

So, for now, I will just get on with Life as best as I can.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I need to eat healthy stuff

like this

avocado pomegranate salad

Digging Deep

when things get bad it takes everything you’ve got

keep on keeping on

It’s now the 332 day of lockdown, and this morning it took a lot of determination just to get out of bed and get moving.  I could say that I wasn’t feeling so good, but that wouldn’t be true, today it’s all in my mind.  If you haven’t suffered the agony of strict self-isolation for almost a year, then you don’t know how I was feeling at 04:00 this morning.  Kind of lethargic and depressed, with a touch of meaningless thrown in.

As a matter of fact, lockdown is completely meaningless.  All this destruction of the very fabric of modern society is doing is to make politicians and health officials feel better about the myriad of public inquiries they are going to face when all this is eventually over.

So, how do I get through this mess?

  • set small goals for each day
  • if that’s too difficult set small goals for the next hour
  • keep as fit and healthy as possible
  • eat regular, high quality meals
  • stay away from booze, drugs, candy….
  • read something challenging every day

What I really want to do is get out of the garret and go somewhere warm and sunny ~ but taking a vacation is illegal here.  I want to see my friends, but that’s also illegal here.  In fact having any pleasure at all is just about illegal here.

So, I will look of the bright side, and do the best I can.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

every door is locked

Random Jottings ~ Vacations

English told to lock away their passports for a year

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forget California

no holidays for Brits for a year

~

buy a sunlamp and some bags of sand

it’s the nearest you’re going to get to a vacation

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United Kingdom cut off from the rest of the world

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no sunshine holiday romances please, we’re British

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we English travel not to escape everyday life, but to escape Covid

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doctors say that having fun increases your risk of dying from COVID-19

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

no man needs a vacation so much as the man who has been in lockdown for 308 days

Happy, Joyous, and Free

the only real prison is fear

don’t be afraid to go out at night, learn self-defence instead

Here in dismal grey England I’ve had an epiphany, not religious but perhaps spiritual.  Lockdown goes endlessly on and and on and on ~ yet I am not going to waste my time being depressed, negative, and unhappy.  What’s the point in that?  Depression and misery never made anything better.

Instead of accepting that I’m imprisoned until Easter, at least, I intend to become free, adventurous, and charming again.  I will be sexier and enjoy my life and loves more than ever before.  People, places, and things I might have balked at, avoided, or eschewed in the past will now be on my agenda.  There are a few exceptions to my venturesome audacious bucket-list; all of Africa, most of South America, booze, gambling, and drugs.  Other than that I’m going to be bold, daring, and damned happy.  Timid security isn’t on my future agenda.

Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.  ~  Helen Keller

The thing is, how can I do any of that when it’s against the law for me to go anywhere or meet anybody?  Well, I am not against breaking bad laws, and anything to do with the coronavirus is a bad law on its face.  But more practically, what can I do right now;

  • Use the internet to connect more deeply and intimately with like-minded people.
  • Go through my wardrobe again, get rid of anything that’s too dated, unflattering, or of inferior quality.
  • Use the internet to buy some better attire.
  • Improve my immune system by eating better and more healthily, drinking enough good fruit juices and lots of water, taking the right high-quality supplements.
  • Exercise as much as I can, getting my trim shape back, and improving my energy levels.  Meditate when I can.
  • Get a solid 7 or 8 hours good sleep every night, rest when I feel weary during the day.
  • Stretching my mind by reading more difficult and inspirational books.
  • Get back to studying art, geography, literature, music, psychology, and sociology.
  • Husband my resources until I can get back out there again.

All that means is that I am going to live as well as I can despite this fucking never-ending lockdown.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

yoga is great exercise

just you try keeping that position for 5 minutes each side

 

 

 

It’s a Mad, Mad World

it’s a crazy world out there ~ be a rational anarchist

how long before we see these scenes again?

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse along comes the penultimate act of the presidential election in the United States.  Depending on who you want to believe the ‘occupation of the capitol’ was either a peaceful protest gone wrong, or a violent insurrection presaging another American Civil War.  Patriots or Anarchists?

The best thing I’ve heard is that President Trump has been banned from twitter.  The truth of it is that nobody with even half a brain should ever use twitter in any way, shape, or form.  Twitter is merely the modern equivalent of the washroom wall.

Here in Blighty our parliament has approved the latest tranche in our never-ending lockdown ~ to last until the end of March.  Today, England is now in lockdown day 290.

The compulsory wearing of face masks, lockdowns, and now mass vaccinations ~ any student of history who has even so much as glanced at the literature on the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918 knows that nothing governments and the medical professions do is going to make much difference to the numbers infected, and the people who sadly get very sick and die.  However, here in England the over-zealous police are gleefully throwing their not inconsiderable weight around as though they alone know how to control the coronavirus.  Woe betide you if you leave home without a very good reason, or you get caught without a face-nappy, try to drive to McDonald’s, or have a visitor in your home.

It’s always the way that if you grant someone in uniform a little authority they will tend to abuse it.  Give someone in uniform an inch and they will try to recreate George Orwell’s 1984.

The insane saga surrounding the mass vaccination programme here goes grimly on.  It seems that each consignment of vaccination doses has to be approved by some bureaucratic nonsense called the Medicines and Healthcare Regulatory Agency, and that approval process takes three bloody weeks per batch.  Those first in line for the jab are the over 70s, but there are only 7 mass vaccination centres around England.  How many over 70s do you know who still drive?  Madness.

Some say that Boris Johnson is doing a marvelous Job.  And that our Health Service is the best in the world.  All I know is that I’ve stopped believing most of what I see and hear in the news.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke doesn’t want to get arrested

No End In Sight

England will be closed down for months to come

some would say that’s being flown the wrong way up

Despite flashes of official optimism following the first vaccinations against the coronavirus, it would seem that there is no end in sight to the manifold miseries of lockdown, self-isolation, and national shutdown.  Scotland faces a national shutdown from midnight tonight, and there is no doubt that Prime Minister Boris Johnson will very soon follow suit for England.  He is making a televised statement at 8 p.m. this evening, and Parliament is being recalled on Wednesday this week, presumably to ratify whatever draconian new measures are announced.

Even harsher coronavirus  measures than before will mean that UK borders will be closed, international travel stopped, all stores except food stores and pharmacies will be shut, all schools closed, any and all household mixing will be banned, and people will only be allowed to leave their homes for one of a specified list of essential reasons, such as food shopping.

Despite these draconian emergency measures the numbers infected with COVID-19 will keep on rising, and more and more people will die.  There is nothing politicians, health officials, or medical science can do about it.  The coronavirus will mutate faster than vaccines can be developed to prevent each new strain.  Once a virus is loose in the general population there is no way short of Divine Intervention of controlling it.  And, who’s to say that God didn’t inflict this on the world?

The virus will eventually burn itself out, as all pandemics do.  But, this could take months or even years.  Until then we will all just have to suffer.

Good luck to us all.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

best to bar your door and fort-up ’til spring

December 31st

last day of the year and I’m in trouble

the garret has turned into my private dungeon

In fact the whole of England is in trouble.  Everything is shut except for food stores and pharmacies.  Nobody can meet anyone, except for 1 chosen person from your support bubble, in an outside public place.  Only 3 pubs in the whole of England are open, and they are all on the Isles of Scilly, where nobody can go anyway.  In fact we are not allowed to travel anywhere at all ~ as I know to my cost after my trip to Cancun was cancelled by British Airways.  There is no chance of my recovering the $2,000 I paid for my flights.  The schools and universities will not reopen in the New Year, probably until Easter, and all New Year’s celebrations are cancelled.  If you’re caught having a party you will be arrested.

Things are so depressing here that I got drunk over Christmas ~ and that did not help at all.  Booze never helps anything.

Other bad things happening to me are that I have no heating or hot water because my gas boiler is busted.  It’s actually the gas control valve, and if I can’t fix that myself I’ll have no heating nor hot water until well into the  New Year.  I have a tiny space heater, so I won’t quite freeze even though it’s only 15 degrees Fahrenheit outside, but showering in cold water is going to be no fun at all.

All in all I just hope for much better things in 2021 than we had this year.

Have a Happy New Year everyone.  I’ll be toasting the New Year in in apple juice, alone.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

love to all

for this New Year

Two Thousand Miles from Christmas

’tis the season of peace on Earth and goodwill to all men
not any more it isn’t

Do you remember Christmases past?  The happy anticipation of family visits.  The simple pleasure of meeting a few friends in your favourite pub.  You can forget all that.  Anyone who has any fun this year is going against official government guidelines.

Still, this isn’t a negative song at all.

If you take the lyrics in a Christmas Spirit.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

nobody is going anywhere this Christmas

Christmas is Cancelled

no Christmas please, we’re British

Here in England the government has become infested with a militant scrooge mentality, with a lot of the grinch thrown in.  Eighteen million people in London and the South East are now forbidden to see anyone outside of their own households ~ no family Christmas for them.

In London and the South East of England; travel is not allowed, pubs, bars, restaurants, shops, and churches are closed, Christmas fun is forbidden.

Obviously face masks and all the previous lockdowns haven’t worked.

Look forward to a very Merry Christmas Everyone.

Unless you’re English ~ ashes are our lot.

It’ll be lonely this Christmas.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Christmas?  Bah Humbug

 

 

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