Tag Archives: Lies

Songs on Saturday ~ Lies

the most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth

The lies, misdirections, obfustications, manipulated statistics, and scare stories surrounding COVID-19 continue.  This time it’s from Professor Robin Shattock at Imperial College, (that high-profile home of liars and adulterers), who says that we will all need an annual booster shot of the COVID-19 vaccination, (when there is one), along with our annual booster shot of the flu vaccination.  This guy should learn a better delivery when it comes to cautionary tales.  It might be helpful if these academics actually knew the difference between vaccination and inoculation.

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Do they seriously believe that anyone with a mind of their own is going to submit themselves to an annual inoculation to supposedly protect themselves against a relatively harmless virus?  Probably they do.  BIG Pharma rolls on and on towards…..  mind control, a totally obedient global population, or just untold billions of dollars?  Strange how there is now an ongoing news story that smokers are less likely to die from COVID-19 than are non-smokers…..  I bet the big tobacco companies like that one.

You know something?  The coronavirus pandemic, in real terms, it’s all lies.  But nobody believes the plain and simple evidence of their own eyes any more.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

we must all carry a big stick to scare away non-existent dragons

secrets & regrets

no matter how careful you are, your secrets will come to light

~

Secrets

Past Desires

Past Kisses

Past Sins

Past Lovers

Past Lusts

Past Lies

Past Lives

Deep Regrets

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

he smiled at you

like he knew all your secrets

Honesty, Openness, and Lies

you create your own life through your thoughts, words, and deeds

at the dawn your lies will haunt you

There is an axiom; ‘everybody lies’, and perhaps it’s true.  Perforce we are forced to lie because of the circumstances we find ourselves in, or perhaps lying has become a habit with us, or it might be that there are some things we just do not want to explain because it will be far too complicated.  We may be completely honest in the things we say, and yet still be a liar because we lie by omission.  We may be having an affair, a fling, or be in trouble, and we just don’t ever talk about it, and that too is lying.

The thing about lying and liars is that they will always get caught out, the axiom; ‘oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive’ is true.. When we lie, however we lie, we are building a house of cards, and we always need to add another couple of cards at the top.  One small lie will, more often than not, grow like topsy into a vast work of fiction that calls for a brilliant memory to keep our true story different from the false back-story we have built.  And there is always someone with a better memory than you.

A liar’s worst enemy is someone with a good memory.  ~  Dodinsky.

The truly honest, honourable, and brave person isn’t afraid to talk about anything and everything.

‘The time has come,’ the walrus said, ‘to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships ~ and sealing wax ~ of cabbages and kings.’  ~  Lewis Carroll

There are things in an English Gentleman’s life that it’s considered impolite to discuss; politics, religion, money….. and women.  Yet in recent times I have had deep discussions about the first three of those topics.  I wouldn’t ever talk of women in particular, but I am more than happy to discuss women in general ~ as if I knew anything at all of women.  When we lie, and when we refuse to talk deeply, honestly, and openly about anything and everything, we diminish ourselves, we reduce the richness of our lives, and we can never consider anyone a true friend.

However sometimes we lie for what seems like a good reason; we lie because we just don’t want to give some people an opportunity to judge and criticise us, we lie because the truth is just too complicated, we lie to avoid hurting someone we otherwise care for, and we lie for the sake of our own safety.

Truth is dangerous…..  But if a truth cannot be spoken, it must at least be known.  Even if you dare not speak the truth to others, never lie to yourself.  ~  Frances Hardinge.

Some say that they never tell a lie.  And some should never tell a lie.  All I know is that I could be the very best, the most believable of all liars, but I choose not to be.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the eyes are the windows to the soul

and a lie may deceive from the lips

but the truth is always in the eyes

 

 

Truth and Openness

there is a magic in truth, and honesty, and openness

eclipsing the truth

Everything I write on this blog, at least everything I have written recently is the brutal truth.  I don’t hold anything back, to the best of my ability I tell you exactly what is in my heart.  The post I wrote yesterday, Why I’m Still Alive, is a case in point.  I could have dressed that story up, made myself look a little better, perhaps garnered more sympathy from you.  But, why would I do that?  If I am going to write anything at all about myself it has to be true, and not just part of the truth, but the entire truth.  There are some caveats; I am not an Ernest Hemingway nor a Philip Roth, and the format I’m writing in is a blog, and a blog post needs to be fairly short and pithy.  But over and above all that, this is me, and everything I write is coloured and edited by that simple fact.

Also, but only to a certain extent, I choose what to write about.  Some of my posts I just know I have to write, and they flow onto the screen without any conscious thought, those posts arise fully formed from my deepest subconscious mind.  Ergo, they have to be true, because I’m not even certain that the subconscious knows how to lie.

Why write this painful stuff at all?

Because it’s therapeutic, because I like to know what you think about me and the things I have revealed to you, because if I didn’t write this stuff it would go around and around in my mind like a rat on a wheel.  It’s cathartic to write the brutal truth.  If I lied, or told less than the truth, then you would know, and most likely you would respect me less.  However, how easy it is for people to believe the lie.

How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again.  ~  Mark Twain

Most liars can’t remember all the lies they’ve told, and if they’re lying by omission what they have said and what they haven’t said.  It’s easy to for me to remember the truth, but if I ever lied I’d have to keep referring back to old posts.

A liar should have a good memory.  And a liar’s worst enemy is someone else with a good memory.  ~  Quintilian

Some say that everybody lies all the time.  And that a little white lie never hurt anyone.  All I know is that all lies are toxic and destructive, especially lies of omission.  Trust me, I will always tell you the absolute truth.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

thou shalt not bear false witness

 

Honesty and Discretion

it takes strength and courage to admit the whole truth

~

You may be aware that in the last few days I have undergone something of a transformation, and it seems the man I have become has a dedication to truth, honesty, and openness.  That is not necessarily a completely good thing.  Already I have found that there are innumerable situations where complete honesty wouldn’t be appropriate.  If someone is promulgating a web of lies about who and what they really are, it seems to me that it’s better if I ignore all that, keep quiet, and allow them to live their life of sad, dishonest, illusions, and delusions.

Hell, for all of my life I lived as versions of me that were only mostly true.  That was not my fault, maternal neglect can have a negative effect on your whole life.

If someone wants to hide what they did in their past, and never mention the reprehensible things they have done to give the impression that they are someone and something that they are not and never have been, then maybe it’s better that I ignore that too.  After all, if someone is mostly hiding their past, then it means they don’t want others to know about it, including me.

Some people are just beautifully wrapped and packaged boxes full of fucking shit.

In general, if someone is hiding their past it either means they are ashamed of it, or scared of your reaction if they tell you about it.  Hiding or denying your past doesn’t work, because sometime, somewhere, someday, somehow you will come up against someone who knows all about you.  And the chances are they will tell your new and innocent friend just exactly who and what you used to be ~ either by accident or on purpose.

There are lots of reasons people hide or deny their past, or even who they really are right now; alcoholism, criminality, unpaid debts, drug taking, promiscuity, prostitution, sexual deviance, marriage, children…..  But, all of these things are matters of public record, and you can hide none of the above for very long.

I will throw out one piece of advice, don’t lie to me unless you’re absolutely certain I will never find the truth.  And even in the days of my crazy alter-egos of myself, I always found the truth.

Mean and toxic people don’t bother me.  Mean and toxic people who disguise themselves as nice and honest people bother me a lot.  ~  Cindy Cummings Johnson

Some say that everybody lies.  And that if someone is hiding their past, then they must have a damn good reason.  All I know is that liars need a very good memory, and most people have very poor memories.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

every time you tell another lie you handcuff yourself just a little tighter

 

Personality Disorders and Trust

trusting her is my decision, proving me right is her choice

~

Everybody lies ~ that’s one of life’s great truths.  So, why would I ever want or need to place my trust in another person?  I can put things more bluntly; I suffer from a serious mental health problem called Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), which makes it extremely difficult for me to ever trust anyone, particularly someone that I care for.  It’s common for someone with BPD to find it very difficult to trust, even though I may have a deep need for validation from other people.  That means I will lash out when I think someone has betrayed me, is betraying me, or might desert me.

Anyone with any personality disorder, especially with BPD, will have a history of very rocky relationships, especially romantic relationships.  Borderline Personality Disorder causes constant and extreme mood swings and changes in emotional states, from doting and affectionate one minute, to abusive and pushing your partner away within just a few hours.  If you either suffer from that horrible personality disorder, or if you are close to someone who does, you will find that trust comes very hard.

And, why should we trust at all?  Why should we ever give another the chance to betray and hurt us?  Why should we risk being lied to and deceived?

Things come apart so easily when they have only been held together with lies.  ~  Dorothy Allison.

All those with a personality disorder are compulsive liars and deceivers, and most of their relationships end in chaotic and traumatic breakups.  This is true until they begin to recover.  In recovering from a personality disorder the ‘former sufferer’ will become desperate to create and build trust in all of their relationships ~ and this takes a lot of time.

There are some things that I know I can do;

  • Keep to my word and follow through with my actions.
  • Learn how to communicate truthfully, openly, and effectively.
  • Stop speaking and acting impulsively.
  • If I’m wrong, or I’ve made a mistake, then admit it.
  • Stop lying and deceiving ~ always be honest with myself and everyone else.
  • Do what I believe is right ~ not what is easy or might get me what I want.
  • Stop taking people for granted.

Those things kind of look and sound easy ~ they’re not.  Earning trust and learning how to trust is one of the most difficult things someone recovering from a personality disorder or an addiction can ever do.  But, if life is going to be worth living it’s something I know I have to give of my very best.

Some say deceive me once then shame on you.  And, deceive me twice then shame on me.  All I know is that you can’t build a good life based on a tissue of lies.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never trust a woman in a mask

Honesty and Openness

Trying to make sense of crazy will drive you crazy.

working late again

There is a truism that everybody lies all the time.  People lie the most to those they are closest to, and often tell the honest and open truth to those that don’t matter at all.  The lies might be deliberate untruths, or a lie may be not telling the whole truth.  A lie by omission is still a lie.  Perhaps the biggest and most hurtful lies are when someone you care for just doesn’t tell you anything at all about something important to your relationship.

The biggest lies, the most lies, are about money and sex.  Someone who cheats on a partner is going to need to weave an immense tissue of lies.  Someone who steals, spends their partner’s money, dissembles, deceives, tricks, and seduces will undoubtedly always have been a liar, and will always be a liar ~ especially they will lie to themselves.

Because liars do not just lie to others, and since they also and always lie to themselves, they often don’t understand honour, honesty, and truth .  Trust me I’ve been there, I have compulsively lied to others, told tall tales, lied by omission, and lied to myself.  Maybe that was not my fault.  For years I suffered from a serious and undiagnosed personality disorder, an emotional illness that I found more than ordinarily difficult to cope with.

Being honest and open takes courage.  Finding an acceptable way to tell an uncomfortable truth takes a lot of emotional energy.  Letting someone know the real you by telling the unvarnished truth is not something many are prepared to do.

I appreciate people who tell me the truth in a gentle way, even when it’s tough to say.  ~  Karen Salmansohn.

Even harder than always telling the truth when asked is being open ~ allowing another person into your comfort zone, letting down the barriers you’ve built precisely to stop others from knowing the real you.  Not many are prepared to let anyone else know who they really, really used to be, are now, and their dreams, desires, and wishes for the future.  These are the most personal things imaginable, often difficult and painful to even think about, let alone talk of.  But it’s precisely because these things in our past, present, and future may be difficult, painful, embarrassing, shaming, and outside of societies accepted ethics that we should be prepared to share them openly and honestly with those we care for the most.

Some say that they never tell a lie, and that is always a lie.  And that they never hide the real truth, and that is always untrue. All I know is a a man is never more honest than when he admits himself a liar.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

and some people can’t help themselves

they are compulsive liars and always will be

walk away

Dishonest Disguise

A real woman will be honest no matter how painful the truth is

~

everybody lies

you can see it in her eyes

learn the dark surprise

there’s a deep disguise

but if you’re really wise

you won’t ever despise

her, just accept the prize

the love her lie implies

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

men need to believe a woman’s lies

 

Lies

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.  ~  Hitler

Allegedly there are 8 types of lie ~ that is an oversimplification.  I don’t believe that you can simply categorise lies.  I believe that there are an infinite number of ways that we lie, and that we are lied to, and that most often we are lied to by omission. People just don’t admit to some things they don’t want us to know.

The slickest way in the world to tell a lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time ~ and then shut up.  ~  Robert A. Heinlein.

The worst lies of all are those we tell to ourselves, and again mostly these are lies of omission.  We refuse to remember some of the bad stuff we have done in our past, and we refuse to admit to ourselves the bad things we fully intend to do in the future.  And if anyone asks us about any of that, of course we shall lie and hotly deny our past, present, and probable future sins.

Probably the biggest lie being foisted upon the world at the moment relates to the cause of the fire at the medieval cathedral of Notre-Dame de Paris, which allegedly was an accidental electrical fire, or something like that.  I believe that like I believe Parisian women don’t smell of garlic and cigarettes, overlaid with lots of perfume.  But if I was a Frenchman in authority, I wouldn’t want to stir up even more sectarian hatred of moslems.

But that matters not one jot.  What really matters is how much of the truth we admit to ourselves, and how much of the truth are those we care for telling us.

We should stop expecting loyalty from people who won’t even give us honesty.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

if you think you’re being lied to, then you probably are

 

 

 

Living Within Lies

We live in a world of illusions and fantasies, lies and deceptions.

In my life I have often seen and heard what I wanted to see and hear, not what was really there at all.  I was never willing to separate fact from my own fictions, to see what was actually going on around me.  And yet, for relationships and connections to endure, reality and truth must be embraced whole-heartedly, one cannot go on looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses.

Consequently I oft-times found myself walking down dead-end streets and staying with totally dysfunctional relationships.  I missed the many good opportunities the universe was sending me, any of which could have transformed my life.  Being faithful and steadfast is all very well, but not when I was living within a tissue of lies and falsehoods.  Being generous and kind is all very well, but not when I was pouring time, money, and love into a bottomless well and receiving little or nothing in return.

Ultimately, my behaviour was negative and destructive of my own self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-esteem.  Through not really facing the truth I would become paranoid, suspicious, jealous, frustrated, and angry.

Today I am ready to accept and understand the mistakes of the past, end the chapter, close the book, and allow progress and positive growth to happen.  For that I need complete self-honesty and better self-awareness.  Only then will real change lift me emotionally and spiritually out of the darkness that sometimes surrounds me ~ washing over me like a cold wave in the depths of a grey autumn.

Parts of my dark psyche still linger from my past negative behaviour; anger, bad temper, marginal propensity to alcoholism, pain, jealousy, frustration, resentments, selfishness, impulsiveness…..

This October, when my opposite and partner star-sign of Libra is in the ascendant, I can see clearly the person I used to be, the person I am now, and the man I shall become.  I am more than just the two-dimensional image that stares back at me from the mirror.  Now I am wiser, more open and ready to see change in my life.  The lessons that must be learned are how to understand and accept the truth and not surrender to illusions.

Some say that change is bad, and today should be the same as yesterday, while tomorrow should be pretty much the same as today.  And that they are perfectly happy living mundane and routine lives.  All I know is that I can and will separate truth from fiction.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

though it may twist and turn, the warrior’s path goes onwards and upwards

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