solitude and isolation are hurtful things beyond human endurance
abandoned and worthless
The first lockdown started here on March 23rd this year, and since then normal human contact has been severely restricted by edict of our governments, health officials, and petty bureaucrats. Here in England we’re a couple of days into yet another lockdown, strictly enforced by the police, covid marshals, and security guards. Some people even believe the lies Boris Johnson is peddling and are self-isolating. Sad buggers.
Whatever way you look at it, for most of this year most of us have been isolated and lonely. I don’t give a
fuck fig how dangerous or not COVID-19 is, being isolated, lacking in the normal warmth of human contact, is very dangerous. Even for hardened and dangerous criminals the United Nations have banned the use of solitary confinement for longer than 15 days, and said that being without human contact for longer than 22 hours a day is unacceptable. And yet, for day after day, month after month, innocent people have been made to suffer a cruel and unusual punishment through no fault of their own.
We don’t heal in isolation, but in community. ~ S. Kelley Harrell
Whether they have the coronavirus or not, people will get sicker and sicker. Many will suffer unimaginable pain, many will die before their time. High blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, malnutrition, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression. paranoia, cognitive decline, dementia, Alzheimer’s, muscle wastage, alcoholism, attempted suicide…. Death
Other than praying that people like Johnson, Hancock, Vallance, Whitty, et al either come to their senses or burn in hell, what can we do? For a start ignore every lie these disingenuous bastards are peddling. Then change our own mindset.
You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking. That is what’s real. ~ Doc Childre
COVID-19 is far less dangerous than an average winter flu ~ and if you don’t believe me spend an hour doing some online research. Your inner potential has no limits. It is up to you to decide how much you want to make of it. You can drift from day to day believing the crap being peddled by governments, health officials, and the mainstream media ~ but you are the captain of your own ship, so take responsibility.
It is high time that we all got back to living a normal life. Get outside in the fresh air, get some exercise, reach out to your friends ~ nobody except yourself can really hold you back from anything.
you can rot on the shore all you want
I will not accept any more lies
‘I am under no obligation to make sense to you…..’
covid-19 police ready for action
That heading is a quote from the Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll’s book Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. At the time the book was written Hatters were famously mad because of all the mercurous nitrate they used in curing felt. Mercury poisoning will send you mad before it kills you.
So, what excuse have our politicians, health officials, and sundry bureaucrats got for acting like insane secret policeman during this alleged coronavirus pandemic? Actually, the alleged coronavirus pandemic gives any jumped-up little Hitler the perfect excuse to throw their weight around.
For crass stupidity and the insane enforcement of illegal regulations one cannot go further than the Principality of Wales where there’s a failed Marxist called Mark Drakeford running things. What a useless dickhead.
Supermarkets in Wales have entire aisles closed off to stop people buying non-essential items. These ‘non-essential items’ seem to include womens’ sanitary products, baby formula, diapers, school uniforms, shampoo, hairdryers, vacuum cleaners….. Yet in Wales alcohol seems to be very essential ~ if I was in Wales I’d want to get blind drunk.
People there shouldn’t be going into stores anyhow because the whole place is under a 17 day ‘firebreak lockdown’. Which is stupid because soaking wet Wales has as much chance of suffering a wildfire as you have setting light to the mud in a swamp.
Police are manning border controls between England and Wales to stop people from the ‘more infected’ counties here from entering the Principality.
In England some 8 million people in the North have been plunged into the strictest possible lockdown because more testing in their cities shows that more people are infected with the virus than before. BTW 60% of positive tests are false positives. But who in London gives a shit about ‘the North?’
Also in England pubs can stay open if they are selling whole pizzas, but not if they are just selling pizza slices. Meanwhile some children here are actually going hungry.
The power-mad ginger dwarf running Scotland has closed the entire country for business. Safety tip; never let a crazy ginger woman run your life for you.
And the compulsory pointless wearing of face-nappies is set to continue, probably forever.
Meanwhile, the entire USA is in the grip of a set of lunatics who seem to have been given the keys to the asylum.
‘step away from ze tampons…..’
he trusted her implicitly, right until she threw him to the hungry crocodiles
everybody’s got to trust sombody sometime
of course that’s where it all starts to go wrong
everyone who says; ‘you can trust me…..’ is a liar
all women lie, just ask Adam about the apple and the snake
for some the excitement lies in knowing how far they dare trust
never ask a woman about her past
because lies of omission are still lies
and the truth will torture you
never trust a man who professes to be your friend
real friends don’t need to tell you that
trust doesn’t usually include your partner taking a vacation without you
I never knew a woman who didn’t want to know how much money I was making
up to, and including, my sainted mother
and all of them wanted proof
women who have first date sex are always liars
or sluts, or hookers, or older than their date
or all of the above
the most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth
The lies, misdirections, obfustications, manipulated statistics, and scare stories surrounding COVID-19 continue. This time it’s from Professor Robin Shattock at Imperial College, (that high-profile home of liars and adulterers), who says that we will all need an annual booster shot of the COVID-19 vaccination, (when there is one), along with our annual booster shot of the flu vaccination. This guy should learn a better delivery when it comes to cautionary tales. It might be helpful if these academics actually knew the difference between vaccination and inoculation.
Do they seriously believe that anyone with a mind of their own is going to submit themselves to an annual inoculation to supposedly protect themselves against a relatively harmless virus? Probably they do. BIG Pharma rolls on and on towards….. mind control, a totally obedient global population, or just untold billions of dollars? Strange how there is now an ongoing news story that smokers are less likely to die from COVID-19 than are non-smokers….. I bet the big tobacco companies like that one.
You know something? The coronavirus pandemic, in real terms, it’s all lies. But nobody believes the plain and simple evidence of their own eyes any more.
we must all carry a big stick to scare away non-existent dragons
no matter how careful you are, your secrets will come to light
he smiled at you
like he knew all your secrets
you create your own life through your thoughts, words, and deeds
at the dawn your lies will haunt you
There is an axiom; ‘everybody lies’, and perhaps it’s true. Perforce we are forced to lie because of the circumstances we find ourselves in, or perhaps lying has become a habit with us, or it might be that there are some things we just do not want to explain because it will be far too complicated. We may be completely honest in the things we say, and yet still be a liar because we lie by omission. We may be having an affair, a fling, or be in trouble, and we just don’t ever talk about it, and that too is lying.
The thing about lying and liars is that they will always get caught out, the axiom; ‘oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive’ is true.. When we lie, however we lie, we are building a house of cards, and we always need to add another couple of cards at the top. One small lie will, more often than not, grow like topsy into a vast work of fiction that calls for a brilliant memory to keep our true story different from the false back-story we have built. And there is always someone with a better memory than you.
A liar’s worst enemy is someone with a good memory. ~ Dodinsky.
The truly honest, honourable, and brave person isn’t afraid to talk about anything and everything.
‘The time has come,’ the walrus said, ‘to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships ~ and sealing wax ~ of cabbages and kings.’ ~ Lewis Carroll
There are things in an English Gentleman’s life that it’s considered impolite to discuss; politics, religion, money….. and women. Yet in recent times I have had deep discussions about the first three of those topics. I wouldn’t ever talk of women in particular, but I am more than happy to discuss women in general ~ as if I knew anything at all of women. When we lie, and when we refuse to talk deeply, honestly, and openly about anything and everything, we diminish ourselves, we reduce the richness of our lives, and we can never consider anyone a true friend.
However sometimes we lie for what seems like a good reason; we lie because we just don’t want to give some people an opportunity to judge and criticise us, we lie because the truth is just too complicated, we lie to avoid hurting someone we otherwise care for, and we lie for the sake of our own safety.
Truth is dangerous….. But if a truth cannot be spoken, it must at least be known. Even if you dare not speak the truth to others, never lie to yourself. ~ Frances Hardinge.
Some say that they never tell a lie. And some should never tell a lie. All I know is that I could be the very best, the most believable of all liars, but I choose not to be.
the eyes are the windows to the soul
and a lie may deceive from the lips
but the truth is always in the eyes
there is a magic in truth, and honesty, and openness
eclipsing the truth
Everything I write on this blog, at least everything I have written recently is the brutal truth. I don’t hold anything back, to the best of my ability I tell you exactly what is in my heart. The post I wrote yesterday, Why I’m Still Alive, is a case in point. I could have dressed that story up, made myself look a little better, perhaps garnered more sympathy from you. But, why would I do that? If I am going to write anything at all about myself it has to be true, and not just part of the truth, but the entire truth. There are some caveats; I am not an Ernest Hemingway nor a Philip Roth, and the format I’m writing in is a blog, and a blog post needs to be fairly short and pithy. But over and above all that, this is me, and everything I write is coloured and edited by that simple fact.
Also, but only to a certain extent, I choose what to write about. Some of my posts I just know I have to write, and they flow onto the screen without any conscious thought, those posts arise fully formed from my deepest subconscious mind. Ergo, they have to be true, because I’m not even certain that the subconscious knows how to lie.
Why write this painful stuff at all?
Because it’s therapeutic, because I like to know what you think about me and the things I have revealed to you, because if I didn’t write this stuff it would go around and around in my mind like a rat on a wheel. It’s cathartic to write the brutal truth. If I lied, or told less than the truth, then you would know, and most likely you would respect me less. However, how easy it is for people to believe the lie.
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again. ~ Mark Twain
Most liars can’t remember all the lies they’ve told, and if they’re lying by omission what they have said and what they haven’t said. It’s easy to for me to remember the truth, but if I ever lied I’d have to keep referring back to old posts.
A liar should have a good memory. And a liar’s worst enemy is someone else with a good memory. ~ Quintilian
Some say that everybody lies all the time. And that a little white lie never hurt anyone. All I know is that all lies are toxic and destructive, especially lies of omission. Trust me, I will always tell you the absolute truth.
thou shalt not bear false witness
it takes strength and courage to admit the whole truth
You may be aware that in the last few days I have undergone something of a transformation, and it seems the man I have become has a dedication to truth, honesty, and openness. That is not necessarily a completely good thing. Already I have found that there are innumerable situations where complete honesty wouldn’t be appropriate. If someone is promulgating a web of lies about who and what they really are, it seems to me that it’s better if I ignore all that, keep quiet, and allow them to live their life of sad, dishonest, illusions, and delusions.
Hell, for all of my life I lived as versions of me that were only mostly true. That was not my fault, maternal neglect can have a negative effect on your whole life.
If someone wants to hide what they did in their past, and never mention the reprehensible things they have done to give the impression that they are someone and something that they are not and never have been, then maybe it’s better that I ignore that too. After all, if someone is mostly hiding their past, then it means they don’t want others to know about it, including me.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped and packaged boxes full of fucking shit.
In general, if someone is hiding their past it either means they are ashamed of it, or scared of your reaction if they tell you about it. Hiding or denying your past doesn’t work, because sometime, somewhere, someday, somehow you will come up against someone who knows all about you. And the chances are they will tell your new and innocent friend just exactly who and what you used to be ~ either by accident or on purpose.
There are lots of reasons people hide or deny their past, or even who they really are right now; alcoholism, criminality, unpaid debts, drug taking, promiscuity, prostitution, sexual deviance, marriage, children….. But, all of these things are matters of public record, and you can hide none of the above for very long.
I will throw out one piece of advice, don’t lie to me unless you’re absolutely certain I will never find the truth. And even in the days of my crazy alter-egos of myself, I always found the truth.
Mean and toxic people don’t bother me. Mean and toxic people who disguise themselves as nice and honest people bother me a lot. ~ Cindy Cummings Johnson
Some say that everybody lies. And that if someone is hiding their past, then they must have a damn good reason. All I know is that liars need a very good memory, and most people have very poor memories.
every time you tell another lie you handcuff yourself just a little tighter
trusting her is my decision, proving me right is her choice
Everybody lies ~ that’s one of life’s great truths. So, why would I ever want or need to place my trust in another person? I can put things more bluntly; I suffer from a serious mental health problem called Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), which makes it extremely difficult for me to ever trust anyone, particularly someone that I care for. It’s common for someone with BPD to find it very difficult to trust, even though I may have a deep need for validation from other people. That means I will lash out when I think someone has betrayed me, is betraying me, or might desert me.
Anyone with any personality disorder, especially with BPD, will have a history of very rocky relationships, especially romantic relationships. Borderline Personality Disorder causes constant and extreme mood swings and changes in emotional states, from doting and affectionate one minute, to abusive and pushing your partner away within just a few hours. If you either suffer from that horrible personality disorder, or if you are close to someone who does, you will find that trust comes very hard.
And, why should we trust at all? Why should we ever give another the chance to betray and hurt us? Why should we risk being lied to and deceived?
Things come apart so easily when they have only been held together with lies. ~ Dorothy Allison.
All those with a personality disorder are compulsive liars and deceivers, and most of their relationships end in chaotic and traumatic breakups. This is true until they begin to recover. In recovering from a personality disorder the ‘former sufferer’ will become desperate to create and build trust in all of their relationships ~ and this takes a lot of time.
There are some things that I know I can do;
- Keep to my word and follow through with my actions.
- Learn how to communicate truthfully, openly, and effectively.
- Stop speaking and acting impulsively.
- If I’m wrong, or I’ve made a mistake, then admit it.
- Stop lying and deceiving ~ always be honest with myself and everyone else.
- Do what I believe is right ~ not what is easy or might get me what I want.
- Stop taking people for granted.
Those things kind of look and sound easy ~ they’re not. Earning trust and learning how to trust is one of the most difficult things someone recovering from a personality disorder or an addiction can ever do. But, if life is going to be worth living it’s something I know I have to give of my very best.
Some say deceive me once then shame on you. And, deceive me twice then shame on me. All I know is that you can’t build a good life based on a tissue of lies.
never trust a woman in a mask
Trying to make sense of crazy will drive you crazy.
working late again
There is a truism that everybody lies all the time. People lie the most to those they are closest to, and often tell the honest and open truth to those that don’t matter at all. The lies might be deliberate untruths, or a lie may be not telling the whole truth. A lie by omission is still a lie. Perhaps the biggest and most hurtful lies are when someone you care for just doesn’t tell you anything at all about something important to your relationship.
The biggest lies, the most lies, are about money and sex. Someone who cheats on a partner is going to need to weave an immense tissue of lies. Someone who steals, spends their partner’s money, dissembles, deceives, tricks, and seduces will undoubtedly always have been a liar, and will always be a liar ~ especially they will lie to themselves.
Because liars do not just lie to others, and since they also and always lie to themselves, they often don’t understand honour, honesty, and truth . Trust me I’ve been there, I have compulsively lied to others, told tall tales, lied by omission, and lied to myself. Maybe that was not my fault. For years I suffered from a serious and undiagnosed personality disorder, an emotional illness that I found more than ordinarily difficult to cope with.
Being honest and open takes courage. Finding an acceptable way to tell an uncomfortable truth takes a lot of emotional energy. Letting someone know the real you by telling the unvarnished truth is not something many are prepared to do.
I appreciate people who tell me the truth in a gentle way, even when it’s tough to say. ~ Karen Salmansohn.
Even harder than always telling the truth when asked is being open ~ allowing another person into your comfort zone, letting down the barriers you’ve built precisely to stop others from knowing the real you. Not many are prepared to let anyone else know who they really, really used to be, are now, and their dreams, desires, and wishes for the future. These are the most personal things imaginable, often difficult and painful to even think about, let alone talk of. But it’s precisely because these things in our past, present, and future may be difficult, painful, embarrassing, shaming, and outside of societies accepted ethics that we should be prepared to share them openly and honestly with those we care for the most.
Some say that they never tell a lie, and that is always a lie. And that they never hide the real truth, and that is always untrue. All I know is a a man is never more honest than when he admits himself a liar.
and some people can’t help themselves
they are compulsive liars and always will be