Tag Archives: Leaving

Stress #5 ~ Getting Out

that’s why I drink ~ escaping from the real world

Some situations you can find yourself in are uncomfortable, painful, difficult, dangerous, intolerable.  It might be work, family, marriage, living with someone, romance, an affair, a stalker…..  It could be as bad as gaslighting, where you are being psychologically manipulated so much as to doubt your own sanity.  Or you could be verbally and physically abused, bullied, threatened, and deeply hurt.

I myself was once bullied at work by my director, aka the Ginger Bitch, she was a woman and I was a very senior and very successful executive.  It made going in to work at all an immensely stressful thing, it kept me awake at nights, and I started drinking far too much.  Drinking too much is only a temporary escape.  For a while I fantasized about pushing her into traffic on a very busy London road, decided that wasn’t a good plan.  So, I did the only sensible thing I could, and left that job, got myself out of there, escaped.

If you are in an intolerable situation, then the most sensible thing you can do is leave, get out, escape, leave town, change all your numbers and email addresses…..

And this is where it will get heartbreaking for you.  Leaving home is a momentous decision you will shy away from making, put off for as long as possible.  You would rather live in misery than make the irreversible decision to leave your abuser.  Before that you will try all kinds of other ways to escape; booze, drugs, an affair, promiscuity, vacations on your own with all of the aforementioned.

It’s no good, eventually for your own safety and sanity you will have to leave.  Before that you need to prepare;

  • tell nobody of your plans, not family nor friends
  • stash away a lot of cash in a place known only to you
  • if you can find a place, say a storage unit, then stash away clothes, shoes, utensils, and anything else you might need in your new life
  • get a new cell, new email id, new internet provider, new tablet
  • decide where you are going to go, not to your family nor friends because your abuser will find you there ~ a woman’s refuge in another town is good
  • leave home when your abuser is at work, at a bar, with their whore, vanish, disappear, tell no one or your abuser will find you
  • buy a different car, preferably a van, pick up your stuff, and drive, keep to all the traffic laws, drive a long way in an unexpected direction

Sadly it might be more complicated than that.  You may have kids in tow, you might be reported to the police as anything from a missing person to a kidnapper of your own children, you have no job so you might go broke fast, if you tell a relative where you are then your abuser will find you.  Tell nobody, and I mean nobody where you are; send a postcard from another state to tell people that you are safe.

Some say that escaping is easy, it’s found at the bottom of a bottle of booze.  And that things are bound to get better soon.  All I know is that escaping takes bravery, determination, and a shed load of preparation.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

just think how good freedom will feel

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