Tag Archives: interpersonal relationships

get yourself free

~

you reach the end of day

just wishing you could fly away

from people, places and possessions

but as happens with all commitments

you can find yourself caught in such a trap

you get so used to it you can’t find your way back

just assert yourself and hope they won’t all desert you

you know when you are not yourself every day just hurts

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Everybody Hurts Sometimes

Every now and then even a strong man cries.

~

May I walk happily, and may it be beautiful before me.

May it be beautiful behind me, happy and and beautiful below.

May it be beautiful above me and may beauty be all around my heart.

In beauty I cry and wonder,  and in beauty there is both my sadness and joy.

Navajo Prayer.

~

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Sea of Sorrow

~

Drinking from the waters of sorrow

sustains a different kind of life.

This sea is hidden from the rest of the world.

Tears drip of my chin and fall

into an endless flow of liquid love.

This silent sea sparkles with beauty. 

~

from Todd Nigro

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

neither dead nor really alive

Death is not the greatest loss in Life.

Watching my Dad dying in a nursing home bed made me realise something today.  That modern death is seldom like a light switch.  My Dad wasn’t the vital, elderly gentleman he was just a week ago, and then suddenly dead.  For my Dad death is coming slowly.  He is dying one little piece at a time.

The part of his mind that remains must know this, and I believe that is why he is sometimes very distressed.  He keeps calling to my late mother and his dead sister, (my late aunt), and I have never heard him do that before.

I don’t believe that he is in much physical pain, because the doctors haven’t yet given him morphine.  However, physically, mentally, and spiritually my Dad is suffering greatly.  He has no dignity at all.

A part of me hopes it will be over soon, and that feeling of wanting my father to pass on quickly gives me much pause for thought.  I’m not certain if wanting my father to die swiftly and with dignity makes me evil, or caring.

I have no answers or wider lessons to impart on the modern process of dying.

However, I have learned something important about how to live.

Live life to the full, make your decisions and stick by them, never compromise, and never settle for second best or the easy option.

Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.  ~  Norman Cousins

Some said that I was a very all-or-nothing guy before, and that I would not live in shades of grey.  All I know is that those people ain’t seen nothing yet.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

no good deed goes unpunished

The Parable of the Good Samaritan.

These days I seldom dream.  Last night I had a vivid dream reminding me of a moment in my past.

There was a roadside casualty, a girl in the gutter. Obviously I stopped my car, got out to give assistance, and while I was putting the girl in the recovery position someone drove off in my car.  Then the girl got up and ran off, and a guy does not chase a woman late at night.  All of which was a bummer because I was then stranded on the wrong side of London, late at night, no wallet and no cell.  (We call them mobile phones, and my wallet was in my jacket in the damn car.)  Just getting back to my place took until mid-morning, and then all the phone calls cancelling cards, contacting my insurance company, telling the office I wouldn’t be in….  And that was a great car, which I never saw again.

That wasn’t the first, or the last time, my being a ‘Good Samaritan’ caused me much grief, pain, and suffering.

From trying to help a drunken woman in the street, to giving my bank details to a charity worker, (bogus), to rescuing a woman who was being hassled by a drunk in a bar, to driving an acquaintance home late at night, to helping out a coworker solve a tricky problem, to not having first date sex with an inebriated woman…  Well, the list of ‘nice’ things I’ve done which then caused me much grief goes on, and on, and on.

Too often in my life I have tried to do the right thing, to be the good guy, the man in the white suit ~ and what has it ever got me?  Trouble.

Even in close relationships I’ve found, to my cost, that being a genuinely kind, caring, and considerate guy, leads to trouble in the end.  Women can and will walk all over a nice guy.

It seems that many people see a good guy as a soft touch, someone that can be trampled underfoot, someone of no real account.  A geek, a jerk, a loser.

Well, maybe that’s their loss.

I can retain my ethics and morality, but my dream tells me that I also need to exercise harsh judgement in the people I am prepared to be kind to.  There is no more universally nice Jack Collier.

What ever became of the Good Samaritan anyway?

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

awol

I’ve been awol for a while.  Sorry about that.  I’ll be back soon.

Meantime he’re a song I’ve been playing.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

wistful musings

~

it’s so quiet in the old ruins

of my mind silent in synchronicity

with cadenced surf counting serendipitous

judgements while each step I take and every breath

whispers as the cold sea measures love’s lost soulfulness

~

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Liar, Liar

Never lie, never cheat, never steal.

Everybody lies.

Mostly that doesn’t matter one little bit.  Deep down we know when we are being lied to and we act accordingly.  Little lies are what makes the world go around.  Little lies are the lubrication in relationships.  Little lies are what keeps us sane.

I firmly believe that lying is wrong, but I also believe that, in the big scheme of things, little lies may not matter so much.

Big dark lies are destructive, damaging, and dangerous.

Big Lies Matter.

But everybody lies, and that matters when the liars are scientists, doctors, bankers, lawyers, judges, charities, the police, the military, the security services, politicians, prime ministers, and presidents.  Big dark lies by the ‘Fat Cats’, and ‘Important People’ ruin lives, affect interest rates, cause financial crashes, get people hurt, and start wars.

This is a nation that has lost the ability to be self-critical, and that makes a lie out of the freedoms.  ~  Joni Mitchell

Big dark lies reported in just one newspaper today, (Tuesday April 11th 2017), involve airlinesbankers, more bankers, politicians, more politicians and generals, presidents… And now, we are but a short step and a few lies from WWIII.  Take your choice of the spark that starts WWIII, the Middle East, or North Korea?

Clinton lied.  A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.  ~  Barbara Bush

You would really think that a President would follow the example of George Washington and be unable to tell a lie.

Big dark lies by the people you care for ruin relationships, imperil your health, imperil your mental health, cost you a fortune, and lead to nasty things like alcoholism, drug addiction, infidelity, domestic violence…  A big dark lie by someone you love can kill you.  And, thinking your loved one will ever change and stop lying to you is nothing but wishful thinking.

Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.  ~  Patti Callahan Henry

If you catch someone out in a lie, what can you do about it?  Almost nothing.

The chances are that if you have caught someone telling a big dark lie it’s because you’ve been investigating them, for example by following their twitter feed, hacking their emails, listening in on their conversations….  and do you want to admit to that?  Spying on liars is almost as bad as lying ~ almost.

The only thing you can do about being lied to is know that you are dealing with a liar, and take everything they say with a very large pinch of salt.  In other words, when you know someone is a liar, believe nothing they say until you have got yourself some independent proof.  All lies, and all liars, get found out eventually.

Besides, leopards never change their spots, and liars don’t ever stop lying.  Catch a liar in a lie and they’ll just strive to become better liars in future.

Lying is addictive.  And, once a liar, always a liar.

Some liars are so expert they deceive themselves.  ~  Austin O’Malley

But you know what?  Once you stop believing the lie, it loses all power over you.  Once you know someone is a liar, everything they say is just pointless noise.

I’m sorry, what language are you speaking?  It sounds like bullshit.

Have a nice day.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Scenes on Sunday ~ Rocks and Stones

Is the rock to be moved from its place?

the smooth road teaches us little

give me the hard road to walk alone

strewn with rocks and unforgiving stones

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words and pictures by jack collier

and the girl riding shotgun

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

little star

~

solitary hopefulness in the midst of blackness

do not condemn me to Stygian darkness

lonely abandonment in unhappiness

shine over me with watchfulness

care for me in mindfulness

lift my hopelessness

my shining star

~

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

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