Tag Archives: interpersonal relationships

Cancun Trip

if at first you don’t succeed, try something else

gently relaxing 

You may be aware that here in England we’re suffering from 28 days of very strict coronavirus lockdown, which comes to an end on December 2nd.  Except that’s not the end of it ~ when this period of miserable self-isolation ends we will be entering an indeterminate period of lockdown by tiers.  Wouldn’t you know it, the whole of the North East of England is in the strictest tier 3, which is almost as bad as the bloody terrible state we are already suffering.

Of course the whole country is in an uproar, and I do not blame anyone for complaining in the bitterest terms.  Prime Minister Boris Johnson won’t be able to get elected as a dog-catcher after this.  And as for the sanctimonious twerp of a Health Secretary Matt Hancock ~ as his name says what a wanker.

Except, I’ve found an escape clause.  There is nothing to stop me from going to an airport as long as I don’t stay overnight, and there’s nothing to stop me from boarding an aeroplane.

So, at 11:15 on Sunday December 6th I’m flying to Cancun, to stay in the utterly fantastic fabulously expensive, all inclusive, Royalton Suites Resort and Spa.  How cool is that?  Two weeks in the sun instead of two weeks of miserable lockdown in the cold, grey North of England.

Any volunteers to be a travelling companion can apply in the comments section.


jack collier


it’s tough at the top

a carnal woman

maybe she was that way because she was sad and lonely


leaving a carnal, sexual, woman

one battle over, one victory won

the long struggle that will end

one day in honesty and freedom

not for her, not for years to come


jack collier



heading to her favorite bar

to look for a much younger man

Negative, Cynical, and Critical

it takes courage to be positive and happy when you’re hurting

sometimes we all need a little quiet contemplation

Reading back through my blog I’ve realised that so many of my posts are negative, critical of others, and quite cynical.  My only excuse is that in recent years my heart has been hurting and my head has been confused.  There is no cure for that unless one wants to change.  You can’t stop being negative until you realise that there is another way of looking at life.

Well, there is going to be no more of that.  It’s way past time that I looked on the bright side of life.

The world is a wonderful place, filled with dreamy clouds and blue skies if you have the will to search for them.  Most people are good, interesting, and kind; and if you come across the other sort, someone truly toxic, then walk away from them, and don’t look back.

Be crazy, be weird, be stupid, be creative, be whatever ~ life is to short to be anything but happy.


jack collier


I’ll get by with a little help from my friend.


Marmaduke is always happy


Don’t Worry, Be Happy

happiness is what we find at the end of the road

Right now, this minute, I’m damn happy.  I have walked away from the person who was making me miserable, and you can make no more positive step on the road to happiness than that.

Not the Bob Marley original, but a happy version nevertheless.

Don’t worry, be happy.


jack collier


most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Loreena McKennit

Dark Night of the Soul

This song is a little bit the way I have been feeling recently.  Luckily, with the help of my friends, I am much, much better now.

Thank you everyone.

Please listen responsibly.


jack collier


the long darkness

Sexual Confidence

a truly confident man has no desire to control a woman

she is probably not with a confident man

That’s a challenging quotation at the top of the page, and goes against all the fashionable BDSM stuff in the Fifty Shades…..   But trust me, the need to control your wife / lover / partner / girlfriend displays a complete lack of self-confidence.  More than that, wanting and needing to control a woman means that he doesn’t trust her at all.  There are men like that.  Their control over a woman will begin with small things, and end with him ruling and ruining her life.

Any woman involved with a controlling man needs to get out as soon as she can, go far, go fast, never once tell him where she is going, and never look back.  He doesn’t care for her and never did, everything is all about him.  That kind of controlling relationship soon turns to abuse; mental, verbal, financial, spiritual, sexual, and physical abuse.  That kind of man is completely lacking in confidence ~ in fact he is completely lacking in any of the finer qualities that go to make up a real man.  Especially he does not know trust.

Conversely, a truly confident man, the man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and is filled with enough energy, enthusiasm, and vitality, would never need nor want to control his Lady.  A confident man will trust her enough to be happy that she does what pleases her, and fully explores her sexuality within the bounds of decency.  (The bounds of decency are flexible depending on where you are, who you are with, and what time of day / time of year it is.)  It’s about trust and confidence.  Which makes me think that the men of some churches and religions must be utterly lacking in both.

Sexual confidence begins outside of the bedroom.  It’s what allows a man to talk to any woman and treat her like an equal ~ actually not like an equal at all because men and woman are very different.  A confident man looks at a woman and sees an individual, someone strong, unique, and completely feminine.  Confident men will approach that woman at a bar, and not necessarily believe that she should be flattered by his attentions and want to have sex with him.  His confidence and good humour means that if they are both free she might.

Some say that a man’s sexual performance is a reflection of his confidence.  And that he is comfortable with a woman who wants and likes sex.  All I know is that sexual confidence in a man means trusting her.


jack collier

jack collier7@talktalk.net

a confident man will be happy for his wife to wear a dress like this


Music ~ The Cars

some say it’s a woman’s erotic little death

A ‘friend’ of mine sent me this song a long time ago.  You will not be surprised to learn that this is the only Cars track I know.  You might be surprised to know that girl and I have lost contact with each other.  So, I don’t know if Tonight She Comes.

This is for a far better friend of mine.

It is quite good fun, so please listen with a smile.


jack collier


naughty or nice?

noisy or not?

Feminine Strength

out of the strong came forth sweetness

Unless you are English or a bible scholar you may be unfamiliar with the above quotation, which is derived from the story of Samson and the Lion and a woman from Timnah.  It’s a narrative and an allegory.  Psychologically, the interesting thing is the difference between masculine and feminine strength.

Typically, masculine strength is brute force and aggression that can be measured in foot-pounds, whereas feminine strength is far more elusive and mysterious.  In the biblical story the lion is an expression of male energy and sexual potency.  The sweet honey is an expression of female patience, sensitivity, and  complexity.  Without both the story has no point at all.  So, some strong warrior guy goes out and kills a lion ~ that happens all the time in the bible.  That story would have little point to it.

However, if you add the feminine sweetness, and throw in the woman from Timnah for good measure, then what we have is an allegory which seeks to illustrate that unbridled strength and aggression without control is both pointless and dangerous.  An out of control bulldozer isn’t anything anyone wants to have to deal with.

Many men fail to grasp that point.  A lot of guys think that what it takes to be a real man is the ability to sink copious quantities of beer and then beat down on the little guy.  Or drink copious quantities of beer, drive home from the pub, and treat his wife / girlfriend like a piece of meat.  That type of guy tends to be unsuccessful, or an alcoholic, or a workshy petty criminal ~ or all three.

More successful men realise that feminine qualities like; acceptance, diplomacy, patience, perseverance, understanding, and the ability to communicate effectively are just as important, (if not more important), than qualities such as physical courage and endurance.  Some men eschew these feminine strengths as being beneath them, or unmanly, or associated with the rainbow community.  Reality says that a hell of a lot of men just find things like diplomacy, understanding, and talking, far too difficult for them to cope with.

I had to learn the feminine strengths and skills as part of my career in International Finance ~ if I wanted to make more money than my trophy wife could spend.  More recently, I learned those feminine strengths courtesy of a self-confessed black widow.

Really strong men control their masculine qualities with the feminine qualities they are willing to learn and use.


jack collier


out of the eater, something to eat

out of the strong, something sweet

Random Jottings ~ Femme Fatale

now the party’s over he’s beginning to wonder what went wrong


a hero is good

a heroine is brilliant

a villain is essential

but a bad woman is erotic


‘hold me….’ he said

‘hold your what? she asked

eventually she decided he meant his billfold


he would do anything for her

the trouble was so would a lot of other men


he would try to forget her

he would spend the rest of his life trying


he liked women who looked as though they killed men for a living


jack collier



she thought of herself as a black widow

and that some younger men liked to be caught

Scenes on Sunday ~ Bear

you don’t always want to be around Big Bear






jack collier



Big Bear Boulevard

and a little bear

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