insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result
‘you’ve got to be insane if you think I like abandoned railway yards’ she said
he could tell she wasn’t best pleased with their day out
he was happy because he didn’t know what the hell was going on
nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool
he didn’t suffer from insanity, he was very happy being crazy
he knew it was a win-win situation
she won and he didn’t
‘FUN!’ she said, ‘this isn’t FUN!’
‘what’s next on your agenda, the creepy crawlies of the fucking snakes?’
he could tell she didn’t really like the outdoors life
‘just lock me up and throw away the key,’ he said
and so that’s what she did
when love is not tinged with madness, it is not love
This song could well be the story of my life, given that the roles were reversed. But these days I’m a very cool guy, living a really great life. I am already a winner.
Please listen without identifying too much.
even lunatics fall in love
nobody can be right all the time
It takes a lot for me to admit that I just don’t know ~ honestly saying to someone that I don’t have all the answers is difficult for me. Appearing to be less than perfectly in control is an uncomfortable feeling and it takes a lot of guts for me to go there. Admitting that I’m out of my depth, that I’m at a loss, that I haven’t got a clue what to do next, seems to me to show weakness. In the hard-knock schools I was brought up in, to show weakness was to invite ridicule, persecution, bullying. Even in my most senior roles in business, to be weak meant that you went to the wall.
To ask someone else for help, and genuinely mean that I needed help, has never been something that came easily to me. In all of my life I guess the only people I have ever asked for help have been doctors and….. nope, that’s it, doctors.
Well, now I need help, and the only thing I can think of to do is to pray, and sincerely mean my prayers. It’s day 42 of lockdown, and because I was sick before March 23rd this is actually the 48th day I have been in quarantine / self-isolation. I am emotionally and spiritually bereft. I have a serious mental / emotional / relationship problem to deal with, and I’ve got nothing. The well is fucking empty. And me, the guy who can do anything, hasn’t got a clue what to do.
It’s like I’ve been driving in a great car, along a good straight road, through cool countryside by the ocean ~ and suddenly I’m standing there in the desert. Alone. And it’s hot, harsh, brutal, empty, and silent.
Where do I go from here?
I don’t have a clue.
some deserts are pretty
right now mine is just brutal
to walk the warriors path is to continually step out into the unknown
For years my life was based on self-belief, selfishness, and instant gratification. I was a one-dimensional man, and deep down I was always afraid. I went to church but I had no belief, I was married but there was no love, I was successful but all that gave me was money.
When we as human beings are disconnected from our true selves we place ourselves in a perilous position. Our sense of identity becomes lost and we are prey to evils from within and without ~ anger, arrogance, envy, fear, greed, jealousy, lust, paranoia….. There is no inner peace and little joy in our lives. We act without thought for others, and we react to real or perceived attacks and slights with anger and extreme verbal or written or even physical aggression. There is no real love in our lives, either for ourselves or for other people.
Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. ~ the Buddha
Without spirituality, without a belief in a power outside of ourselves, outside of that which we can explain through modern science, we do not live, we just exist. This leads to serious physical, mental, and emotional problems and illnesses. Alcoholism, explosive anger, drug addiction, gambling, infidelity, inappropriate casual sex, lust, resentments, narcissism, self-doubt, paranoia, fear, cowardice….. It is not by chance that the second step of 12-step recovery programs is; Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Accepting that there is a Power greater than ourselves is the beginning of spirituality, the beginning of a real connection with our true selves. Spirituality means evolving our consciousness, and at each level of evolution we react to the Cosmos in different ways. Most people are driven by what is happening in the world outside them, some shape their lives to live in the world they choose, and a very few change themselves by looking at the world inside themselves. Extraordinary people learn to reshape themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally ~ learning inner peace, true happiness, and how to love themselves and others.
There are three principles to reaching inner peace, knowing our true selves, and spirituality;
- associate with like-minded people, people who strengthen us. avoid toxic people and toxic relationships
- put aside time every day to make and strengthen the connection with our true selves. rest, meditate, harmonise your heart and brain
- transform our character; turn arrogance into humility, hate into love, paranoia into trust
Some say that there is no God, no Higher Power, nothing greater than man and science. And that Spirituality ranks alongside Magic, Sorcery, and the belief in a Flat Earth for stupidity. All I know is that a Power greater than myself restored me to sanity.
My own mind was a prison
.….you should stop being so carnal, and learn to say no to men. ~ Adelaja
animal anxiety ardour
benefits bitch bitterness
carnal courtesan covet
desire discontent distrust
eagerness ecstacy excitement
feelings fervour fuck
grope grasp grudge
harlot heat hussy
indignation insanity intensity
jaundiced jealousy tight jeans
karma kept kindness
libido love lust
madness mania mistrust
nonsensical nymphet nymphomaniac
obscene orgasmic outrage
paroxysm passion pleasure
rancour risqué romantic
screw sexuality shag slut
tart tolerance tramp
umbrage unhappiness urban-survival
vamp vixen vulgar
wanting whore welcoming
zeal zest zygote
she has animal demons inside her innocently carnal eyes
stroking her leg in public
some carnal women like that
Pouring wine onto yourself means you might be crazy.
There are a lot of crazy and insane people in this world, and I should know because I used to be one of them. Strictly speaking crazy means you’re wild and possibly aggressive, while insane means you have an abnormal view of the world. Both mean that you can’t interact normally with other people, and that any relationship you’re in is likely to lurch from one crisis to another.
Symptoms of being crazy and insane include extremes of; being intense and passionate, being unstable, doing stupid and dangerous things on an impulse, self-harm, excessive consumption of booze, taking drugs, smoking marijuana, engaging in cheap and meaningless sex, nudity at inappropriate times, mood swings, explosive bad temper, insomnia, extremes of jealousy, panic, paranoia, schizophrenia, feelings of worthlessness, depression, euphoria, and quite a few more personality disorders and character defects.
Most crazy and insane people have most of the above problems some of the time, and most of us have self-diagnosed and tried to cure ourselves with much more of the same things that drove us crazy in the first place.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein
Or we try to cure ourselves by switching from one crazy and insane set of behaviours to another~ say from depression and melancholia to copious quantities of booze and indulging in unsafe meaningless cheap sex.
I wouldn’t recommend alcohol, sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me. Hunter S. Thompson
How do we know if we’re crazy and insane, or as ‘normal’ as the rest of the crazy people out there?
One person’s craziness is another person’s reality. ~ Tim Burton
Some say that if you have to ask yourself the question, ‘Am I going crazy‘ then you probably are insane and crazy. And, that if anyone else says that you’re crazy, then most likely you are. Of course, you can find Am I Insane?, Personality Disorder Tests, and Just How Insane Am I? tests online. Or, find your own online insanity / craziness tests. Your results might surprise you ~ a lot.
The last time I took one of these on-line tests, to see if I was suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, I came out at the extreme bad end of the scale.
Alternatively you could just look for these attitudes, feelings, and behaviours in yourself;
- Delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, jealousy, anger
- Mania, depression, thoughts of suicide
- Memory loss, personality changes and mood swings, time and place distortions and disorientation
- Talking to yourself, talking to your pets and plants, giving unwanted and unsolicited advice, believing in angels, demons, extraterrestrial abduction, ghosts, gods and goddesses, past lives, and witches.
If you suffer from / truly believe in any of the above, it may mean that while you are doing the best you can, and are thinking deeply and seriously about yourself and your issues, you’re not thinking clearly, and you may be a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.
The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. ~ Nikola Tesla
Another sign of utterly crazy insanity is being addicted to anything; Alcohol, Anger, Coffee, Cough Medicine, Drugs, Food, Gambling, Jealousy, Laziness, Masturbation, Pornography, Prescription Drugs, Sex, Shopping, Smoking, Social Media, Technology, Trivia, or Work. (Trust me, people can and do get addicted to just about anything.)
Perhaps the easiest things to check to see if you really are an addict is to see if you’re suffering from; alcoholism, drug addiction, or sexual addiction. Alcoholics Anonymous have a very, very good self test that will let you know if you’ve slipped from being a social drinker to an insane boozer. There are similar self tests for drug addiction and sexual addiction.
However, the chances are that if you find yourself ever taking one of these tests, then you are already crazy, insane, and slightly weird. That doesn’t mean you are bad and stupid, it means that you’re unwell.
I’ll take weird and crazy over stupid any day. ~ Joss Whedon
Of course, another sign of being crazy, deranged, insane, peculiar, strange, unstable, unusual, or weird, is doing things in secret and lying about what you’ve done afterwards. And, lying includes lying by omission, refusing to say anything at all, and only telling part of the truth.
The problem with slightly crazy people is they do crazy things ~ and you will know this to your cost if you’ve ever dated a bunny-boiler, stalker, self-confessed witch… or any of the other strange people out there.
So if you’ve been a little bit crazy recently, acting like a sack of cats in a thunderstorm, how do you recover?
- Fully and honestly accept that you haven’t been doing so well lately.
- Figure out / try and remember just what the hell you’ve been doing that’s so bad you’re reluctant to even admit it to yourself.
- Go and see your doctor and honestly tell them what’s been going on.
- Take whatever medication your doctor advises.
- Stop self-medicating with booze, drugs, sex, or whatever.
- See a professional counsellor / therapist for whatever flavour of crazy insane you’ve been.
- Get plenty of fresh air, exercise, and sleep.
- Have a good diet, eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.
- Try soothing and calming stuff; meditation, restful music, reading uplifting books, talking long walks in the forest or by the sea, yoga
- Apologise to everyone you have harmed, unless doing so will only make things worse.
- Make a solemn promise to yourself to be a ‘better’ person.
- Just get through each day without being a totally evil crazy insane wazzock, just one day at a time.
In my case I was completely crazy and insane due to a chronic lack of critical vitamins and minerals in my blood, (potassium and thiamine) ~ because I wasn’t eating properly. The symptoms of a lack of potassium, and a lack of thiamine are quite severe~ literally you go crazy insane, and possibly die.
The upside is that within a couple of days of taking prescribed, very strong, vitamin and mineral supplements I made a miraculous recovery. Today I feel very well indeed, in body, mind and spirit.
So however bad you may feel;
nil desperandum ~ carpe diem ~ noli illegitimi carborundum
and that’s crazy.
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