Tag Archives: Illness

Coronavirus Personal Abyss

suffering from the coronavirus is akin to drowning in despair

~

Like thousands of others who have been or are still very ill I have not had a proper test for the coronavirus, just a differential diagnosis that says I’ve had / have this manky thing.  Personally, I know that I am now recovering from COVID-19, and let me tell you it’s no fun.  The virus beat me down physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and it’s doing it’s worst to make my recovery as difficult as possible.

Waking up in the morning, very early, I feel pretty good and busy myself doing ‘normal life’ things ~ some fresh air and a walk is healthy for me.  But by mid-morning I start to feel weary, and by evening I’m back to feeling fucking dreadful again.  I go from having supernatural powers to running into a brick wall ~ very fast.  Recovery from the coronavirus seems to be a two steps forward and one or two steps backwards kind of thing.

Not only do I need to save the world by staying in and watching TV, I need to save myself by resting and mostly trying to watch TV, listen to music, or read something light.

Trust me, if you have been ill, then you are going to need a lot of rest, for quite a while.

Stay safe, and look after yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

recovery also means rest

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Thank You

friends are the greatest treasure any man could wish for

It seems that I have contracted this horrible virus, and right now I feel like shit.  But, with the help and support of my friends I know I will be better soon.

This song is for them.

Thank you.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

true friends, now and forever

Happy Birthday To Me

I hope my special day brings some health and happiness to everyone

It’s my birthday today ~ both mentally and physically I feel terrible.

My symptoms are a bit like that of the dreaded corona virus, but my constant hacking cough isn’t dry and I don’t have diarrhea.  (I know, too much information.)  I think I’ve got influenza.

However, catching the virus is not on my agenda.

I HAVE JUST HAD A DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS.  I DO HAVE CORONAVIRUS.  OH CRAP!

Spiritually I feel good.  I have the support of some very good friends, although I will not be meeting any of them face-to-face for some time to come.

I have enough supplies to fort up for 6 weeks or so, but my fresh food will only last for a week.  After that it’s going to be a boring diet of canned and dried goods.

The message from the British government is stay at home.  Right now I think that’s a good idea for everyone.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

just a nice picture for my birthday

Coronavirus and Travel

it is not the length of life that matters, but the depth of it

There is nothing much in the news these days except the effects, implications, and horror stories concerning the coronavirus, or to give it it’s more sinister name COVID-19.  There is no doubt that there is an outbreak of illness involving a couple of varieties of this nasty little bugger.  According to some organisations, (WHO), the death rate from coronavirus is about 3.4%, (in comparison to a death rate of 0.1% from your average influenza).  But will I let that change my life ~ the hell I will.

In little while I should be heading off for an extended vacation ~ first stop California.  My journey to the warm sunshine should take me about 24 hours, elapsed time.  During my journey I will likely pass through 5 different airport terminals and sit in 3 different aircraft for a total of maybe 15 hours.  I will be in close proximity to hundreds, thousands, of people who could have come from just about anywhere in the world.  Was I of a nervous disposition then that’s the last kind of ordeal I’d put myself through during this present medical emergency.  But then, by that token I should never leave the garret at all ~ ever.

However, I will be taking some sensible precautions ~ in essence these will be no different whatsoever to the precautions I always take when travelling long-distances.

  1. Do not go to or through some disease-ridden hell-hole like Africa, or India, or China, or right now Northern Italy.
  2. Organise myself aisle seats on all flights, which usually costs extra in coach.  An aisle seat because if I’m sitting near someone I don’t like, for example someone coughing and sneezing, then I can always get up and find someplace else to spend most of a long flight.  It also gives me a chance to stretch my legs.
  3. Carry and use cleansing wipes.  It’s bloody terrible carrying stuff like a hand sanitiser through airport security, but I will buy one in the departure area.
  4. Don’t eat any food or drink any liquid that’s of dubious origins.
  5. Thoroughly wash my hands and face as often as possible.
  6. Never, ever touch anyone, and touch mucky looking surfaces as little as possible.
  7. Have comprehensive health cover included in my travel insurance, (£10 million + £10 million repatriation).
  8. Carry a list of emergency contact numbers.

You’ve seen news footage of people wearing masks ~ that’s bloody pointless.  A virus is so small it will just go right through anything you can breathe through.

Some say that it’s better to be safe than sorry.  And that they don’t want to get near to anyone who may have been exposed to the coronavirus.  All I know is that normal life has a 100% mortality rate and I intend to make the most of every moment I have left in mine.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

better to cash out going backwards off a cliff than forted-up in the garret

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Nursie

doctors may think they’re important,
but it’s the nurses that get you well

This has got to be the shortest Jethro Tull track ever.

The nurses in this hospital have been very good to me, especially when I couldn’t get out of bed at all.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

none of my nurses look like this

 

Survival from Illness

hospital is brief moments of fear interspersing long periods of boredom and pain

It’s my fourth day in hospital with kidney problems.

I see an oncologist tomorrow, I think it’s just routine.  It’s also very scary

But, if I get though all this with my health intact, it will be a supreme and liberating experience for me; annulling routine expectations, providing new contexts and challenges, widening my horizons and opportunities.  I believe that this scary episode is testing my abilities, nourishing my honesty, individuality, stoicism, irony, humour, fortitude, humility, and the complexity of my character.  I hope I come out of this a much better person.

Above all this is a reminder of the shortness of our lives, and that I should make the most of what is left of mine.

Instead of being scared, stressed, and depressed, I should try to look on the bright side of things with humour and humility.

~

Jack Collier

jjackcollier7@talktalk.net

This picture helps me feel calm and peaceful

In Hospital

people tend to die in hospitals

Unfortunately, after all the medical tests I had the other day I’m now in hospital with a fairly serious problem in one of my kidneys.  I wondered what the back pain I’ve been suffering was all about.

I’m on a drip and lots of fluids.  I feel pretty bad, and likely to be in hospital for a few days.

I will not be in touch very much while I’m in here.

I could use some good friends right now.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this picture makes me feel happier

Stressed and Distressed

I feel as bad today as I have on any day of my life.

About 3 years ago I had double pneumonia, pleuresy, and 5 broken ribs.

A few years before that my business went bust because my partner was stealing all the capital I put into it.

Before that I quit / lost my highly paid job in banking, and at about the  same time I got divorced.

A sorry tale, but today I feel as bad or worse as a I have ever felt in my life.

I suffer from life-threatening mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and the myriad symptoms are making me feel stressed, distressed, and depressed.  Add that to the flu I had this week and my life is hardly worth living.

As I said, today, in fact all of this week, I feel the worst I have ever felt in my life.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

This is how I feel today.

The Pointlessness of Medicinal Marijuana

Banning cannabis just makes it even more desirable.

Some say that using cannabis has medicinal benefits.  And that using a little weed never hurt anyone.  All I know is that regularly using cannabis will put you on a slippery slope to misery, degradation, and death.

The US Food and Drug Administration, (FDA), has not approved marijuana for medicinal use, although a large number of doctors and their patients swear by its effectiveness and positive health benefits.  Which is utterly delusional because a placebo is just about as effective as cannabis when it comes to relieving the worst symptoms of most illnesses.   However, people still take medicinal marijuana to obtain relief from the more unpleasant symptoms of their illness ~ and not just to get high.  However, medicinal marijuana will still give you a rush and get you high.

Cannabis in my view is being deliberately oversold as a medication, deliberately so by people whose primary objective is drug legalisation.  Nations should be cautious and should not be seduced by extravagant and unscientific claims by noisy lobbyists.  ~  David Raynes

This inevitable drug rush is because marijuana’s healing properties come from its high cannabidoil (CBD) content and critical levels of medical terpenes, flavonoids, and tetrahydrocannabinol (THC).  CBD, won’t get you high, but THC certainly will.  Actually, there are more than 100 cannabinoids in marijuana ~ doctors and scientists don’t know what effect some of these potent chemicals have on the human brain and body.

Nevertheless, medicinal marijuana does show some slightly positive effects in treating certain psychological problems, and the pain from illness such as degenerative neurological disorders.  Allegedly, medicinal marijuana helps ease pain, nausea and loss of appetite in people with HIV and cancer, and it just might help people with epilepsy or multiple sclerosis.  It’s the CBD and THC that has these beneficial effects.

What THC does is make your brain release dopamine ~ the pleasure chemical, and to be honest, that’s why everyone uses pot, even the people who take it for ‘medicinal’ reasons.  You will get high if you take cannabis for any reason ~ you will feel more relaxed, happier, and probably sleepy.  You may also have hallucinations, delusions, short term memory loss, paranoia ~ and if you have pneumonia or bronchitis those illnesses will suddenly get a lot worse.

Cannabis does more harm than good, even when taken for medical reasons.  New medical guidelines have been issued in Canada, (where cannabis is legal), warning that the negative effects of the weed far outweigh the minor benefits it has for most illnesses.  The Canadian Family Physician journal states that in the few conditions where cannabis is helpful the effects are only marginally better than a placebo.

This Canadian guidance states that there is little evidence that cannabis could help many patients at all, and that the downsides far exceed the potential benefits.

Marijuana very strong stuff, especially the more potent types grown now, and its effects last a very long time.  You will still be suffering from the after-effects of using pot four weeks later.  Pot is addictive, and it’s also a gateway drug to worse things such as cocaine and heroin.

Marijuana is damaging and dangerous.  If you use marijuana a lot you will probably get one or more serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia, anxiety and depression, memory problems, have difficulty with coordination, distortions in your sense of time and space, and have suicidal thoughts.  Your work, social life, and interpersonal relationships will suffer.  You will do risky and stupid things.  To top it off, marijuana damages unborn babies too.

The real reason anyone uses cannabis is to experience the instant gratification of a THC / Dopamine rush.  Anyone who craves instant gratification is immature and nowhere near being a balanced, grown up, grounded, and together person.  They care little about the future, themselves, or anyone else.  They have no real life outside of feeding their own wants, needs, and desires.  They are unlikely to ever get well until they first learn to cure their own need for instant pleasures.  This applies to anyone who demonstrates little self-control.

If you really want to turn into a Mr. Hyde, then smoke pot.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

you’re not just a number

P1020119

When men have a cold it’s like the biggest medical disaster ever inflicted on the human race.  Well, today I have a cold, and I’m feeling thoroughly miserable.  Autumn’s shadowy fingers are crowding around the garret, the sky is grey, and so is the sea.  All I want to do is sleep.  I don’t feel quite human, more like a number standing in line waiting for I don’t know quite what.

The hot California desert calls, and so does the open road, and neither of them are going to see me today.  Anyhow, there’s no way I’m alert enough to drive a Seven until this cold had gone.  When I’m well, do I drive down through France our head West?

Chris Rea ~ Auberge

This music video is as weird as I feel right now.  I may have a fever.  I have a fever, it’s 101.  Man-flu strikes again.

Please listen responsibly.

When driven with real bravery, a Lotus / Caterham 7 is the fastest point-to-point car you can get on English country roads.

~

Sarajackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

 

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