the corona virus is a very nasty illness indeed
It’s been a very tough week. I have been very ill, but I am recovering now.
As long as I could breathe I just isolated myself at home. Ordinary mortals who aren’t in intensive care are not tested for the virus, we just have to get better at home. I’ve had a fever, bad dreams, headache, coughing, feeling sick, short of breath, really tired.
Yesterday I felt utterly terrible, but I feel a lot better today.
I believe I will be just about back to normal tomorrow.
This is about how I feel today.
the infinite mystery of the sea dwells in a mermaid’s magical heart
You may be in lockdown, which is pretty miserable, but that shouldn’t mean sitting in front of the TV all day snacking and drinking beer. We all need to stay fit and healthy during this medical emergency, and that means carrying on with our exercise routines.
Here in England I can go out for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine, once a day, providing that I stay close to the garret, (and sensibly don’t stop and talk with anyone at all).
Something else I can do is take some fun exercise indoors. My friend magickmermaid posted this music video as a comment on my blog yesterday as something different to exercise with ~ and I think it’s brilliantly hilarious. I hope you do too.
If you have any other suggestions for fun music videos to exercise to, then please share them.
I’m told laughing and sex are great exercise too.
please click on the link above
trust me on this one ~ lockdown isn’t much fun
I got sick from the coronavirus before a nation-wide lockdown was imposed on the entire United Kingdom. So, this is Day 10 of my being completely isolated in the garret, and I’m slightly miffed about it all. Being a sick hermit, not going out, seeing nobody at all, with nobody allowed into my place, isn’t as much fun as you might think.
The upside is that there is utter, complete, peace and quiet ~ whenever you want it.
The downsides include:
- It’s no fun for a guy to be sick without anyone to complain to.
- There’s no nurse to make the bed, bring drinks, and sort out the proper medication.
- Unless you’re at death’s door you can’t get medical treatment anyway.
- Watching endless reruns on TV is stultifying.
- Eating the worst diet you can imagine, out of cans.
- Snacking all day and half the night.
- A complete lack of physical exercise.
- Not shaving, washing, or changing out of the sweats you were wearing a week ago.
- Loneliness, utter boredom, anxiety, depression, paranoia.
And, if I was still drinking, I’d probably be drinking 24 / 7.
If there is anyway on this Earth you can avoid being incarcerated alone during a lockdown, just go for it.
I haven’t got one of these,
It would be nicer.
friends are the greatest treasure any man could wish for
It seems that I have contracted this horrible virus, and right now I feel like shit. But, with the help and support of my friends I know I will be better soon.
This song is for them.
true friends, now and forever
I hope my special day brings some health and happiness to everyone
It’s my birthday today ~ both mentally and physically I feel terrible.
My symptoms are a bit like that of the dreaded corona virus, but my constant hacking cough isn’t dry and I don’t have diarrhea. (I know, too much information.) I think I’ve got influenza.
However, catching the virus is not on my agenda.
I HAVE JUST HAD A DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS. I DO HAVE CORONAVIRUS. OH CRAP!
Spiritually I feel good. I have the support of some very good friends, although I will not be meeting any of them face-to-face for some time to come.
I have enough supplies to fort up for 6 weeks or so, but my fresh food will only last for a week. After that it’s going to be a boring diet of canned and dried goods.
The message from the British government is stay at home. Right now I think that’s a good idea for everyone.
just a nice picture for my birthday
I don’t only want to know what I am thinking
If you have been reading this blog for a while you will be aware that I haven’t been very well lately ~ sick, quite poorly, hospitalised. Yesterday I had a health check and also got the results of some earlier tests. Quite frankly I was expecting bad news. That wasn’t what happened at all. For a start the lady medical practitioner was all smiles, which slipped a bit when she took my blood pressure ~ too high.
As it goes I wasn’t worried about that, I’d had a brisk walk to get to the health centre, and when she re-took my blood pressure about 3 minutes later it was as near perfect as it gets for a mature guy; 120 / 70.
There were lots of questions, some more tests and measurements, and then the nice lady said that I wasn’t fit and healthy for a guy of my age, I’m fit and healthy for a guy of any age. My kidneys, heart, and liver have just about perfect numbers ~ how great is that?
Two caveats; my weight is right at the upper end of the green zone BMI~wise, I should lose about 7 pounds. Also, I need to see my doctor as soon as convenient to talk about a 10 years health plan.
All that good news got me thinking that I could and should start a longer-term project ~ so I’m going to write a book, perhaps a trilogy. I have no idea what I’m going to write about, fiction / factual / poetry / photography, and this is where things get interesting.
The thing is I know what I think about everything, whatever I write will have no surprises for me ~ so I need to find a writing partner, a collaborator to write this book / trilogy with me.
Over the years several guys have asked to collaborate with me ~ but that’s no good. Not only do I know what I think about everything, I know what and how other men think too. Ergo, I would like to find someone who can utterly surprise me, someone who can provide a different set of thoughts, opinions, views, and beliefs to mine own. A woman; intelligent, opinionated, articulate, mature in outlook…..
So, if you are female and interested in working with me, writing with me, collaborating on a great work, starting day one, then please get in touch. I would be very pleased if you commented on this post.
It matters not where you are, the internet provides a perfect set of tools for long-distance collaboration across oceans and continents. It matters most who you are, someone who loves to express themselves in writing,
I look forward to hearing from you, either here on email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I can promise you it will be fun, and maybe even profitable.
Some say that behind every great man there has to be a great woman. And that a man working alone always thinks in straight lines. All I know is that every word a woman writes changes the world.
writing is good for the soul
the infinite elation, pain, and terror of a psychological illness
friendless and nowhere to go but here
About a month ago I was in hospital, and so ill that the nurse said that I looked like a bad advertisement for death. I had lots of scans, tests, and examinations, some treatment, and after a few days I was discharged, supposedly fit and healthy. I believed I was cured of my ills ~ I don’t believe that anymore. I think I’m still very unwell.
Whatever ails me does not seem like a physical illness ~ I’m still meeting my 10,000 steps a day meditative walking target, I’m not sitting in the armchair all day, too knackered to do anything but watch TV, I haven’t taken myself to bed, and I’m not on any medication at all. I don’t think my body is sick, I think it’s my mind.
(I take some of that back, when I comes right down to it I’m physically not that strong.)
I have a very strange set of unmatched symptoms. To begin with there is the red V shaped mark on my forehead. It’s prominent, angry looking, and if you met me it’d be the very first thing you noticed. I’ve had that red V shape appear on my forehead ever since I was a young boy, and it has always been a certain sign that I was pretty poorly.
It’s like having the mark of Cain, and it tells me that in one way or another I’m fucked.
The headache I’ve got now I’ve had for three or four days. Everything I eat tastes like cardboard, (apart from chocolate). And I’m dropping things; keys, books, a full mug of coffee, (that makes a hell of a mess), and this morning while I was doing the laundry I dropped the electric iron. That thing was plugged-in and hot, but I didn’t want it hitting the tiled floor in my kitchen pointy end first, so I caught it before it hit the tiles. How the fuck I had the presence of mind to catch the iron by its power-chord I have no idea, but I did and I didn’t get burned.
Oh, and another thing, I am saying and writing the F word a lot, (and a few other choice cuss words), and that is just not the polite English Gentleman I am usually.
Generally I feel like a young boy who has been sent to see the school headmaster for a dressing-down and some corporal punishment, and that young boy hasn’t a clue what he’s done wrong, or why he’s being punished.
You know what? I think I haven’t been so well lately.
Some say that the sick never truly lose the chaos within. And that a sick thought can devour your being more thoroughly than a fever. All I know is the bravest thing I ever did was continue to live when I wanted to die.
feeling like that lost little boy today
life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all
look towards the far horizons
Might I suggest that you take some time out to be with yourself, find a time and space where you can be alone with your thoughts, an hour and a place where you will be certain of just a little privacy, and ask yourself some simple questions.
- What do I need?
- What makes me happy?
- What is it in my life that’s making me unhappy?
- What and who am I afraid of, and why is that?
- Where and when do I feel safe and comfortable?
- What is happening to my health, why am I tired all the time?
- When and how can I make some time for myself?
- Who are my friends, and who can I really trust?
- How can I spend more time with my real friends?
- How can I express myself, how do I show the real me to the world?
- How can I connect with the people I love and care about?
- How can I pay all the bills this month, what about the mortgage?
- How do I find the time to do the shopping, and how do I pay for it?
- If I leave, who is going to do everything that needs doing around here?
- How can I ever show my face in that bar, ever again?
Some of these are big important questions, and some may seem more trivial, but if you ask yourself any of these questions, then the answers are very important to you. If you try to look at the big and very important questions first, then you may become discouraged because they are just too difficult to answer. So maybe don’t look for any answers at all just now. Just for now concentrate on the questions, write them down in your journal, or notebook, but for Gods sakes don’t leave your jottings anywhere where anyone else has the slightest chance in Hades of finding them.
If all that seems to difficult, then make the questions simpler, like;
- How do I feel today?
- What excites me?
- Who has captured my heart?
- What I want is…..
- My heart longs for…..
Or perhaps write all this stuff down, and then burn it, and flush the ashes down the toilet to join your failed marriage / relationship / friendship / love / partnership / shitty job.
Only by knowing what it is that we really want, need, and desire ~ and what we don’t want in our life under any circumstances can we move on in any constructive and positive way.
Some say that we have to understand what our needs are, first and foremost. And that if you don’t know what your needs are how can you ever satisfy them. All I know is that the more you are forced to give to others, the more you need to give to yourself.
give yourself a wonderful sunrise,
enjoy the peace of the natural world
you can start with nothing,
and out of nothing and nowhere, you will find a way
if you sink low enough you could live in a building like this
Although I have been putting them on this blog for ages, I never understood quotations like the one at the top of this page, probably because I didn’t read them properly, and never took the time to think about them carefully enough. The little bit I thought I understood about self-help, self-development, self-denial, and spirituality I found to be rather twee, overly religious, and happy clappy churchy. How pretentious of me.
The modern church is producing passionate people with empty heads who love the Jesus they don’t know very well. ~ Voddie Baucham.
The same dismissive attitude applied if ever I attended a self-help group, but in all honesty I put that down to the fact that I dislike intensely all clubs, groups, associations….. In fact I don’t much like being any place with a bunch of weirdos who have a committee and a ‘chair’ because I very quickly get totally unimpressed.
And yet, I always felt that I was drifting through my dysfunctional life, with just the occasional passage of being; a very cool guy, living a really great life to keep me sane and interested. I was a mess, and the worst part was that I knew I had it in me to be a far, far better man than I had ever been before. Some things I had already accomplished, I still have a cool roof over my head living in the garret, I have money in the bank, and generally speaking I’m pretty fit, strong and healthy. (Admittedly I only just got of hospital, where they said I looked like a bad advertisement for death.) But, generally, as my school reports and annual reviews at work usually read; He could do better if he tried.
As you’ve sought out my blog, then maybe you think there are some parts of your life that aren’t looking so good either. And, that you could do a whole lot better if you tried.
The place to start is to stop doing all those things that completely fuck up your life.
- stop lurching from one disastrous relationship after another
- stop all that promiscuous casual sex that makes everyone with even an ounce of morality think you’re a cheap slut
- stop the drunkeness, drug taking, smoking, smoking pot
- give up the gambling, the impulsive buying of things you don’t need or want, spending and wasting a shit load of money you don’t have
- stop driving that junker of a car that gets you a ticket every time a cop can be bothered to pull you over
- stop getting yourself fired, or walking out on jobs you can’t afford to lose
- stop alienating your family and true friends, just because they might tell you the brutal truth about yourself
- stop being a total fucked-up jerk
Some say that there is a little good in all of us. And, that if you dig deep enough you will always find a treasure. All I know is that when I stopped being a total fucked-up jerk my life suddenly got much better.
selling yourself and your self-respect isn’t a good way to escape your fucked-up life
never give up hope, if you do you will be dead already
Alzheimer’s Disease is a progressive loss of cognitive abilities, speech and language, problem solving skills, and memory. It also makes it very difficult for sufferers to care for themselves, relate to others, and know what’s real and what isn’t. Those with Alzheimer’s can become aggressive, paranoid, suspicious, demanding, depressed, anxious, and confused. As yet nobody understands the exact biochemistry of Alzheimer’s.
Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, because she not only steals from you, but she steals the very thing you need to remember what’s been stolen. ~ Jarod Kintz
About 5.8 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, about 1 in 3 seniors will die from this disease, (or some other form of dementia), which is more than die from breast and prostate cancers combined. And, doctors will tell you that there is no effective treatment for this devastating disease.
However, clinical studies have shown that long term dosages of Melatonin, 5 to 15 mg per night over two years, significantly improve the quality of sleep for those who suffer from Alzheimer’s Disease, and ameliorate the effects of this horrible affliction.
Tamara Horner MHNE, ROHP / RNCP of Purple Almond Wellness discusses the effects and benefits of melatonin on Alzheimer’s disease in a couple of very detailed blog posts.
Melatonin is a naturally produced neurotransmitter that mostly comes from our Pineal Gland, it’s principal function is to regulate the circadian cycles, (day / night rhythm), within our brain and bodies, and as you would expect it’s closely linked to serotonin.
It seems that melatonin is a bit of a wonder hormone ~ some of it’s benefits are;
- It’s an anti-inflammatory agent, and it inhibits the secretion of amayloid plaque.
- Melatonin decreases excessive insulin secretion. Too much insulin will mess with your body and brain, and then kill you.
- Melatonin improves your overall hormone balance, it’s the regulator of every other hormone you produce and ingest.
- Toxins and oxidation are reduced in your body because melatonin scavenges the deadly free-radicals and protects your liver.
Melatonin deficiency causes; sleep disturbance, heart disease, cancers, type 2 diabetes, strokes, schizophrenia, Parkinskon’s Disease, and Alzheimer’s Disease.
You can buy synthetic melatonin over the counter at pharmacies, but it is also to be found naturally in;
- Fruits and vegetables. (avocado, cherries, asparagus, tomatoes, pomegranate, olives, grapes, broccoli, cucumber, and especially banana.)
- Grains. (rice, barley, rolled oats ~ but stay firmly away from anything containing wheat.)
- Nuts and Seeds. (walnuts, sunflower seeds, mustard seeds, almonds, pistachio, peanuts ~ but peanuts are not good for most people for other reasons.)
- Poultry, (turkey, chicken, duck.) Seafood, (cod, haddock, shrimp, salmon, tuna, sardines.)
Some say that exercise is the best sleep aid. And that a racing mind makes a bad pillow. All I know is that I’m going to go on taking my daily melatonin and following a Paleo diet.
the brains of Alzheimer’s sufferers are pretty well