Tag Archives: Health and Fitness

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Travolta Strut

strut your stuff down main street

Another part of my morning routine, learning the ultra cool swaggering walk, aka the Travolta Strut.  I have this nailed, lots better than some Zebra.

You can tell by the way I use my walk that I’m a woman’s man.

Stayin’ alive ~ more than only just.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

don’t try that walk if you’re a woman

it will make you look like a hooker

 

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Elvis

elvis is in the building

In my fitness and fun programme I’m teaching myself to shuffle dance.  It’s a lot harder than young and fit women make it look.  I’m also learning a very cool moon-walk.  The Travolta strut I can do better than Travolta.

I believe that my latest flame is a great dancer

Tonight we’re gonna make it happen.

After this lockdown is over.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

she may need to lose a few pounds

 

Life Is Not a Game

be grateful for what you have and stop complaining

The world is full of people longing for change; to live somewhere else, to have a better and different relationship, to have a healthier life, or to finally get out of this fucking lockdown.  The grass is always greener on the other side ~ until you get there and you realise it’s pretty much the same as it was where you just left.  Longing for and dreaming of the next bigger and better thing, being richer, having a ‘nicer’ partner, having a really cool car ~ well that only makes us discontented, unhappy, and restless.

There are a couple of secrets; #1 is to be grateful for what you have  #2 is to make the most of what you have  #3 is to protect what you have. OK, that’s three secrets.

If you take a long hard honest look at your life you will probably discover that you don’t actually need much more than you already have.  Well, OK, women always need more shoes.

Most of us become discontented, unhappy, and restless when we start to compare ourselves with other people.  Your best friend owns a new Jaguar and you’re driving a 10 years old Nissan, and for some perverse reason that makes you unhappy.  Be grateful that you don’t have to walk.  Make the most of that Nissan; keep it clean, have it regularly serviced, use the right grade of gas.  In the meantime your best friend is paying so freaking much for her Jaguar that she uses cheap gas, which will fuck the engine in no time.  Your best friend isn’t protecting what she already has.  And when the Jaguar’s engine expires she will be walking

That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t want to improve ourselves, to work harder, to strive to be ‘better’ ~ we should because that’s part of human nature.  But don’t compare yourself to anyone else, comparisons are invidious.  Life Is Not a Game.  There are no winners and losers.  We are Born, we Live, and we Die.  That’s it.

So live a better life, and being miserable because you can’t move to a 5 bed 4 bathroom home is not living a better life ~ especially as there’s only yourself and your partner to consider.  The kids have left home ~ K.I.S.S.

You first of all have a duty to yourself; your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.  Work on that instead of worrying about a ‘better’ car, vacation, home….  Of course if you are a woman you do always need more shoes.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it doesn’t like cheap gas

Having No Libido

let nature decide on your sex-drive
not doctors and drugs

she should make my temperature rise

In the past when I heard of people who stopped taking their medication for schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, depression, or some other mental issue….. because the drugs made them feel like they; ‘weren’t  themselves anymore’ ~ well I used to think they were being stupid.

For the past few days I’ve been taking a drug called Amlodipine to help lower what was my catastrophically high blood pressure, and it worked dramatically quickly ~ which is good.  There have been some immediate side-effects ~ which is not so good.  I’ve been drowsy, a bit confused and clumsy, my memory is crap. and I’ve got a constant headache.  There’s another side effect; no interest whatsoever in sex, total lack of sex-drive, zero libido, and no chance at all of having an erection.  I checked, one of the side effects of Amlodipine is to dramatically reduce the production of the male sex-hormone testosterone.

It feels like a very important part of my personality has been removed ~ I don’t feel like myself anymore.  I’m not me.  And, not only do I feel weird, I don’t like it one little bit.

You might wonder how I know my sex-drive and lustful desires have disappeared, given that I’ve been in lockdown for months, and not had a date in all that time.  The strange thing is I knew, and I know that my masculinity has disappeared along with the testosterone which used to flood my body.  I’m not interested in women in any sexual way whatsoever, and strong sexual feelings have been with me since adolescence.  Some other aspects of maleness have also gone; like I’ve lost my sense of direction ~ I don’t automatically know where North is anymore.  Spacial awareness is out of the window, single-mindedness and black and white thinking has gone, and I’m finding it difficult to focus on one task at a time.  I’m depressed, tired all the time, and irritable.  Even my voice is changing.

Who knew that testosterone does much more to the male body than creating and increasing sexual desire and performance?  (I’ve even checked this out by watching some internet porn, and nothing, zip, nada.)

Some women say that men are merely life-support systems for their penis.  And that the way to a man’s heart isn’t food, it’s casual sex.  All I know is that it’s horrible when a man’s masculinity vanishes.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a great body, fabulous ass, fantastic pose

what effect is that having?

‘nice picture…..’

 

Seascapes and Serenity Lost is available on Amazon

Lockdown Day 300

the end of civilisation as we know it?

Here in England it’s the 300th day of lockdown, quarantine, and self-isolation.  The economy has tanked, officially there are 1.9 million unemployed, and about 5.5 million are on unproductive furlough.  About half the UK workforce, some 14 million people, are ‘working from home’.  You can’t get a non-coronavirus doctor’s appointment for love nor money, some 4.6 million people are waiting for ‘non-emergency’ surgical procedures, 600,000 cervical smears have been cancelled, and our National Health Service is said to be close to meltdown.

I have no faith in any of these numbers, just as I have no faith in the ability of the British Government to act sensibly in the face of the ‘COVID-19 pandemic’.

If you’re interested, I’ve been feeling like crap for weeks.

Mind how you go.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk,net

immunisation, the great hope for freedom?

Christmas? Bah Humbug

the Ghost of Christmas Present haunts the land

The British Government is tying itself in knots over what to do about their conflicting views on the coronavirus and Christmas.  On the one hand are the doom and gloom merchants who would prefer that Christmas was cancelled this year, or moved to midsummer day, or just done away with altogether.  Chief of these Scrooges is an unattractive drone called Chris Whitty, who has this witty catchphrase for his idea of a proper Christmas; ‘keep it small, keep it short, keep it local…..’  What a charmless, overpaid wazzock that person is.

People of his ilk have obviously got to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, because his latest soundbite is; ‘Have yourself a merry little Christmas.  And this year sadly I do mean little…..’  At least he has promised that he would not be cancelling Christmas.  Whereas in the People’s Democratic Government of Wales, anyone having a good time will most likely get arrested.

Actually, it doesn’t matter what anyone in the government says because a hell of a lot of people will just ignore the official ‘advice’ and get on with their own Christmas as best they can.

Unfortunately my Christmas plans have been totally canned, since British Airways stopped me from going to Cancun.  I’ll be alone again over the holidays.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I hope nobody gives an order to stop Christmas shooting down Santa

 

Feeling Confused

your intellect may be confused, but your emotions never lie

some things are guaranteed to get you into deep shit

Rather a lot has happened this year.  Beginning on my birthday the whole of England was condemned to various degrees of house arrest.  We are now in Lockdown Day 256, almost nine months that the whole country has been in suspended animation.  Probably for no good reason whatsoever the government has spent £394 billion of our money trying to stop a non-existent pandemic of the COVID-19 virus.

Nobody has been allowed to visit with anybody, and heaven forefend that you might want to make out with somebody you don’t live with 24/7.  Here in England sex is just about forbidden ~ unless you are a member of the government that is.

We are not allowed to go anywhere, especially we English are not allowed to enter The Peoples Democratic Republic of Wales.  Scotland is out of bounds for us Sassenachs too, but who in their right mind want to have anything to do with a country run by the wee ginger krankie?  The Scots must be totally confused as they try to convince their heads of things their hearts know is a bunch of lies.

The police here have turned themselves into a cross between the East German Stasi and the Gestapo.  Having a dozen of the boys in blue band together to arrest an innocent elderly lady for standing by the Houses of Parliament’s railings must be such fun for them.  Mind you, they all acted like craven cowards when confronted with BLM protesters.  Of all the crazy police forces in England the North Yorkshire Police have gone the furthest in coronavirus insanity.  They are using automated licence plate recognition systems to identify and stop people from tier 3 areas entering their tier 2 Garden of Eden.

Every single politician and government official has shown themselves up for the ignorant buffoons they are.  Gavin Williamson, England’s minister for education is the latest idiot, he managed to insult the whole world in a radio interview he gave about our early roll-out of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine.  BTW, that stuff is mostly untested, and nobody has a fucking clue about the long-term effects of this jab.  You’d have to be crazy to have it.  After you Boris.

And Boris Johnson, our ineffectual Prime Minister, has lost the plot.  He is so in thrall to his current squeeze Ms Carrie Symonds that his government is set to adopt all of her mad ocean conservation, save the planet, green eco-warrior ideas.  For example, all petrol, diesel, and hybrid cars and vans will be totally banned here from 2030.  Really?  How’s that going to work?

Meanwhile all pubs, clubs, bars, restaurants, are shut, by order.

You couldn’t make it up.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Boris and Carrie

the odd couple

Coronavirus Vaccine

better the Devil you know than the Devil you don’t

It seems that truckloads of Pfizer / BioNTech’s Covid vaccine are on their way from Belgium to the UK, where use of this brand-new miracle cure has just been approved by our medical regulator.  Already our Prime Minister and Health Secretary are claiming that the end to the pandemic is in sight, and that the vaccine would ‘allow us to reclaim our lives and get the economy moving again…..’

I’m not holding my breath.  The initial delivery of this particular vaccine will comprise of 800,000 doses, and given that two doses are required 3 weeks apart this tranche will treat a maximum of 400,000 people.  Allow for logistical problems, wastage, people not turning up for the second dose after the rather nasty side effects from the first injection, and I predict that maybe a quarter of a million people might be properly immunised.

On top of that there are already arguments about who should be treated first, with some saying it should be care home residents and staff, while others insist the first to get the vaccine should be front-line health workers.  That should be fun, the National Health Service has a staff of 1.4 million.  The population of the UK is said to be 67,886,011 people ~ really?  In which case put me down to be inoculated sometime after the first 67 million.

An effective and safe vaccine usually takes more than 10 years to develop, this Pfizer vaccine is hitting the English streets after only 10 months.  This new vaccine is said to be 95% effective.  Really?  The most effective vaccine in medical history to date is the Tuberculosis vaccine which is proven to be 89% effective, while at the other end of the scale the vaccine against the Rotavirus is only 35% efficacious.  The vaccine we are all supposed to have for measles is 69% effective.  So, I don’t believe the coronavirus vaccine will be anything like 95% effective.

Anyway, why bother at all?  Some 1.64 million people in the UK are said to have been infected by the coronavirus, or about 11% of the population.  Really? There are so many false positives as to make the number of stated infections laughable.  Of those infected 59,051 have died, or 0.08% of the population, and even those numbers are so massaged as to be meaningless.

The dry run for the mass vaccination programme is being called Exercise Panacea ~ how appropriate.

Many doctors, nurses, and other health professionals state privately that they will not be submitting to this vaccination.  Neither will I, not ever.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this vaccine will prove to be a Frankenstein’s monster

 

Lies, Damn Lies, and Politicians

tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable

Is there any bigger liar in British officialdom today than Michael Gove, Minister for the Cabinet Office, and effectively the number two man in Boris Johnson’s government.  Yesterday he said that the hospitals in this country were 88% full, as though that was a bad and catastrophic thing.  The government is using this ‘88% full’ number as an excuse to impose yet more lockdowns, without ever bothering the truth that this time last year the hospital bed occupancy rate stood at just about 95%.  And that was long before the coronavirus was even thought of.  Gove lies by using out of context partial truths.  That’s pretty skillful, but being a skillful liar is no compliment.

Meanwhile Boris Johnson repeatedly fudges every number he talks about.

It is a bitter thing indeed to realise that the Prime Minister is a serial liar, but what can you expect from a serial adulterer?  It seems that Boris is cherry-picking data and using’scaremongering’ tactics to justify lockdown rules, and it’s equally obvious that he doesn’t understand how to interpret National Health Service data.  Mind you, nobody said that Boris was the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to numbers.

We are repeatedly told about the intolerable pressure on our health service, yet the huge ‘Nightingale’ emergency hospitals stand empty.  Two-thirds of the private hospital beds commandeered by the government to give the NHS breathing room if their wards were overrun with coronavirus cases, went unused this summer.  That cost the taxpayer around £400 million a month.  Somebody is making a lot of money for nothing.  Somebody is not telling the whole truth.

Even members of Boris’ own party tore into him in Parliament yesterday after he tried to defend his latest’ ‘lockdown by tiers’.  So did the leader of the Labour Party, the official opposition, but Keir Starmer is also being disingenuous.  No matter how much he criticises the government, he is not prepared to have his party vote against them in the House of Commons.  Some of his colleagues are furious with him.  Generally, nobody in politics is happy with anybody.

At the end of yesterday’s acrimonious debate a tearful Matt Hancock, the health secretary, referred to the death of his step grandfather from Covid in Liverpool last month.  I wonder how many times Mr. Hancock has cried, and how many times he has lied?

Sadly, Boris Johnson is probably the worst Prime Minister in a crisis since Neville Chamberlain, the man who believed all of Adolf Hitler’s lies.  And we know how that ended up.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

more months of compulsory ‘face coverings’

A Choice of Catastrophes

always choose the lesser of two evils

cure global warming by setting fire to the sky

The world is going to hell in a handcart, mostly because governments and their unelected officials have responded in a very male, linear-thinking manner to the supposed coronavirus pandemic.  They have seen a problem and tackled it with gusto, without any thought whatsoever for the wider consequences.  It’s like the man who has an ant infestation in his home and sorts it out by burning down the building.  Perfectly logical if your logic is based on Boolean Algebra and the only possible answers are yes and no.  That is brutal male thinking taken to extremes.  I’m certain that to cure supposed global warming some male scientists would be happy to set fire to the sky.

This highlights the biggest problem that besets most relationships; men think in straight lines and women think in patterns.  This is why most men don’t talk much and most women like to talk.  It’s also why if there’s a problem in a relationship a man will want to find an immediate solution and most women will want to talk about it.  If you don’t understand that then you can’t have a real relationship with the opposite sex ~ all you can have is a deal, a contract, a set of compromises neither of you actually understand.  What you have is called a Transactional Relationship.

If you have a transactional relationship it’s most likely suffering right now.  Being thrown closely together because of lockdown, or because there is just nowhere to go, means that established positions get blurred and it’s difficult for both of you to fulfill your allotted role.  What you might realise is that both of you aren’t actually very happy being together.  Or that if you are going to stay together things will have to change.

And, this is where it falls apart.  Suppose one of you is now drinking too much.  Most people will fall right back into that transactional model; ‘if you stop drinking so much, I will…..’  or the more likely; ‘if you don’t stop drinking so much I’m walking out…..’

You have a Choice of Catastrophes.  We can all stay with the shit we have now, or we can set off into the unknown.  We can stay with our partner and regret it.  We can leave and regret it.  We can believe all this COVID-19 crap and have our civil liberties taken away, or we can ignore all the facile advice and instructions thrown at us by governments and health officials and maybe die of the fucking coronavirus.

It’s up to each of us to choose the lesser of two evils ~ but choose wisely.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

when in doubt, trust your gut

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