Know when to walk away ~ Know when to run
Governments, Politicians, Generals, Admirals, Businessmen, Gamblers, Alcoholics, Husbands, Wives, Lovers, Mistresses, Children, Employees, all have something in common. Time and time again they will go on pouring lives, money, love, health, sanity, and self-respect into deals, situations, and dysfunctional relationships they should have just turned their backs on and walked away.
It’s as though somewhere deep in the human psyche there is a pathological need to keep doing the same old thing, over and over again, no matter how many times it has failed before. Well we’ve probably all had this proverb hammered into our brains as children.
If at first you don’t succeed ~ try, try, try again. ~ Robert the Bruce.
Actually, it’s much, much worse than you would ever believe. Relatively respectable psychologists believe that the misinformation effect makes some people completely forget their failures, and just how bad they were. This is glaringly obvious in gamblers, who never talk about how much they’ve lost, only how much they’ve won. It’s even worse in abusive relationships, where victims totally block out the memories of the abuse, even to extent of selective amnesia and dissociative disorders.
Smarter, more self-aware, more self-confident people eventually realise that throwing good money after bad, or loving the wrong person at the wrong time, or trying the same thing over end over again, is fundamentally stupid.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. ~ W.C. Fields.
In the past I have been as guilty as anyone of raising the stakes on a losing card, and then when I inevitably lost, raising the stakes once again.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. ~ Ablert Einstein.
Eventually, smarter people learn that no matter how hard you try, if they don’t love you for yourself alone, they will never love you for the things you try to do for them. Women and girls especially stay in abusive relationships far longer than they should ~ gaslighting is so insidious.
There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. ~ Shannon L. Adler.
Today I will go a long way before I ever again try harder to win when winning was always impossible. I know how to recognise and when to get out of a dysfunctional relationship. I have a new Rule #1 in my book.
Rule #1 Always know when and how to get out of Dodge.
Go ahead with your life, your plans, your dreams and desires, as fully as you can.
he just doesn’t have the time
he physically intimidates her
if you only did what I told you
she wears a scarf to hide the bruises
he makes her have sex with other men
she had to prove her love too soon
he killed her confidence with sneers
he told her secrets to his drinking buddies
she doubted her own memory
in public, he said she was lying
he will tolerate nothing but the best
he likes to humiliate her
he’s only abusive when he’s been drinking
she must not disturb his routine
he forces her to sleep on the floor
often she doubted her own sanity
he said she was just a bitch from the office
where was she and why didn’t she call?
he confuses her with his mind games
he is underhanded and abusive
why won’t she take the tranquilisers?
he checks her household account book
he tells her she never had a cat
he likes to use objects in her
he says she is a bitch and a loser
he likes to see her to suffer pain
when he wants, the way he wants her
he said she looked like a slut
please slow down, you almost hit that truck
she will be left homeless and broke
he never actually hit me
she walks into the sea under dawn’s early light,
and never once looks back
words and pictures by jack collier