Tag Archives: Gaslighting

Never Reinforce Failure

Know when to walk away ~ Know when to run

Governments, Politicians, Generals, Admirals, Businessmen, Gamblers, Alcoholics, Husbands, Wives, Lovers, Mistresses, Children, Employees, all have something in common.  Time and time again they will go on pouring lives, money, love, health, sanity, and self-respect into deals, situations, and dysfunctional relationships they should have just turned their backs on and walked away.

It’s as though somewhere deep in the human psyche there is a pathological need to keep doing the same old thing, over and over again, no matter how many times it has failed before.  Well we’ve probably all had this proverb hammered into our brains as children.

If at first you don’t succeed ~ try, try, try again.  ~  Robert the Bruce.

tormentActually, it’s much, much worse than you would ever believe.  Relatively respectable psychologists believe that the misinformation effect makes some people completely forget their failures, and just how bad they were.  This is glaringly obvious in gamblers, who never talk about how much they’ve lost, only how much they’ve won.  It’s even worse in abusive relationships, where victims totally block out the memories of the abuse, even to extent of selective amnesia and dissociative disorders.

Smarter, more self-aware, more self-confident people eventually realise that throwing good money after bad, or loving the wrong person at the wrong time, or trying the same thing over end over again, is fundamentally stupid.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Then quit.  There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.  ~  W.C. Fields.

In the past I have been as guilty as anyone of raising the stakes on a losing card, and then when I inevitably lost, raising the stakes once again.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  ~  Ablert Einstein.

Eventually, smarter people learn that no matter how hard you try, if they don’t love you for yourself alone, they will never love you for the things you try to do for them.  Women and girls especially stay in abusive relationships far longer than they should ~ gaslighting is so insidious.

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.  ~  Shannon L. Adler.

Today I will go a long way before I ever again try harder to win when winning was always impossible.  I know how to recognise and when to get out of a dysfunctional relationship.  I have a new Rule #1 in my book.

Rule #1 Always know when and how to get out of Dodge.

~

albert-einsteinjackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

Gaslighted Confidence

Go ahead with your life, your plans, your dreams and desires, as fully as you can.

P1010419

Affection

he just doesn’t have the time

Anger

he physically intimidates her

Blaming

if you only did what I told you

Choking

she wears a scarf to hide the bruises

Coercion

he makes her have sex with other men

Committment

she had to prove her love too soon

Confidence

he killed her confidence with sneers

Confidences

he told her secrets to his drinking buddies

Confusion

she doubted her own memory

Degredation

in public, he said she was lying

Demanding

he will tolerate nothing but the best

Demeaning

he likes to humiliate her

Drinking

he’s only abusive when he’s been drinking

Fear

she must not disturb his routine

Force

he forces her to sleep on the floor

Gaslighting

often she doubted her own sanity

Infidelity

he said she was just a bitch from the office

Interrogation

where was she and why didn’t she call?

Lying

he confuses her with his mind games

Manipulation

he is underhanded and abusive

Medication

why won’t she take the tranquilisers?

Money

he checks her household account book

Pets

he tells her she never had a cat

Rape

he likes to use objects in her

Rejection

he says she is a bitch and a loser

Sadism

he likes to see her to suffer pain

Sex

when he wants, the way he wants her

Shaming

he said she looked like a slut

Stubbornness

please slow down, you almost hit that truck

Threats

she will be left homeless and broke

Violence

he never actually hit me

Escape

she walks into the sea under dawn’s early light,

and never once looks back

P1010336.

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

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