Tag Archives: Gambling

5 Ways To Lose Money Fast

a fool and his money are soon parted

sexy-woman-and-car

If you want to lose money really fast, or just guarantee that you will go broke eventually, then here are some brilliant ideas for you;

  1. Online Gambling.  Gambling in any form ~ from playing the slots in Las Vegas, to betting on horse racing at a high-street bookmaker in England ~ is guaranteed to lose you as much money as you like.  All those attractive online gambling sites just allow you to lose your money with 24/7 dedication from the comfort of your own home / office / car…  Online Forex Trading is just another form of gambling ~ you will lose loads of money.
  2. Wall StreetForex Trading.  The foreign exchange market exists for some very sensible reasons ~ it allows me to pay for a hotel stay in Wyoming, (priced in $), on my English credit card, (denominated in £).  Unecessary trading on the the Forex Market also allows idiots to risk vast amounts of money, and then inevitably lose it.  I’m an expert in all this stuff, and it would take me a week to teach you the basics, so just trust me, you will lose if you go online trading.  Even companies like Rolls Royce get burned, (lately to the tune of £4 billion), due to unecessarily hedging the Forex Market.
  3. Expensive New Cars.  A hot set of wheels might boost your ego,  get you a hot date, and it will also lose you a fortune.  Almost all cars depreciate over time, and some high-status cars depreciate at an horrific rate.  Add in the high cost on insuring your new car, and the good chance that you’ll crash the thing if you ever drive it hard, and an expensive new car can be a real money pit.  Best of all, get drunk, drive really fast, and then roll your car down a freeway embankment.  By the way, never believe a car salesperson, all sales people are professional liars, and I should know because I used to be one.
  4. Online Dating.  If your expensive new car hasn’t got you a real date, you could be a totally insane pathetic loser and try online dating as well.  Online dating isn’t cheap, both in terms of money and time.  And, it’s one of most dangerous things you can do, for example both human and robot scammers target the sad people who use online dating sites.  Or, you could get used, abused, robbed, raped, or dead.  If you just want to ruin your life, the get yourself addicted to paid online porn.
  5. Dangerous Drugs.  I include here; street drugs including marijuana, prescription drugs, party drugs, legal highs, tobacco, and booze.  To really waste a great deal of money while ruining your health and your life along the way, then get into everything at once.  Best of all get buzzed and go on the internet with your credit cards to hand.  Do not go near 12 step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.

There are some other brilliant ways to go broke fast; trophy wife, mistress, toyboy, high-class hookers, marrying a foreigner, getting sick abroad without proper insurance, buying a home without having a full survey, signing things you don’t understand, and perhaps best of all guaranteed get rich quick schemes.

smoking-slutIf you really throw yourself into the above activities, not only could you lose all the money you have, you could also get yourself heavily into debt with some nasty people.  Along the way you are very likely to lose your self-respect, job, real friends, home, family, health, and maybe your life.  If you want to go downhill really, really fast, then I recommend you start at #5 and work your way upwards.

Most of you will never get as far as #1 because you’ll be on the streets, in jail, or dead long before that.  If you work diligently at #5 you could be dead broke and dead in a couple of years.

Good luck with totally ruining your life by getting heavily into any of the above financially stupid moves.

~

smoking-whorethese thoughts are mine, and mine alone

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

How To Gamble And Win

Cincinnati Kid

If you want to be a winning gambler, play against someone dumber than you.

As it goes, that is one of only two ways to almost guarantee you will come out ahead in games of chance.  All casinos, bookmakers, and on-line gambling sites religiously follow this rule.  Think about all the gullible people who go to Las Vegas, most of them set a limit on how much they are prepared to lose, and that’s before they even walk into a casino.  After they start hitting the booze, who knows?

Just how dumb is that?  Imagine saying I am prepared to stand in a bar tomorrow, and slowly tear up $300, and then set fire to the pieces.  Broadly, that’s what you’re doing if you bet against the house in a casino.  But, there is one thing you can bet your life on, in the medium and long-term, the house always wins.  Always.  But that doesn’t matter to gamblers, because they never talk about thow much they’ve lost, only about how much they’ve won.  Gamblers are so dumb, and so very sad.

Most people who gamble are as dumb as a doornail, in one very specific way, they gamble.  Even otherwise highly intelligent people are dumb when it comes to betting / gambling / playing cards / playing the ponies…

Maybe the most intelligent 10% who gamble have some idea of how it all works, but almost all of them make two mistakes.  First, they think there is such a thing as a ‘system’.  Second, they think gambling is based on statistics.  Both assumptions are completely false.

wiccan moonThere is no system in pure games of chance.  None whatsoever.  A system that guarantees winning at any game of chance is a complete myth.  Even consulting a witch and her familiar never works.  So, if you think you know how to win at roulette, you’re even dumber than I thought you were.

Statistics cannot predict the future, and betting is all about predicting the future.  Statistics only measures the past, and is useless to a gambler unless you are both an odds-player, and a card-counter.  Can you remember every card played out of a possible 52, or out of 312?  I can’t.  If you can you will get thrown out of the casino anyhow.

Anyhow, if you’re that good, perhaps you should be betting at the craps table.

To predict the future you have to know about probability theory.  Probability theory is to statistics as putting a man on the moon is to thermodynamics.  But, if you know all about random variables, stochastic processes, and quantum mechanics, then you may have a future as a gambler.  And, you will still get thrown out of the casino.

At this point you may realise two things; #1. I know about gambling.  #2. I think gambling and gamblers are very dumb.

The second way to almost guarantee you will come out ahead in games of chance is to cheat.  But, I won’t tell you how to do that either.

~

albert-einsteinjackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

 

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