Tag Archives: Friendship

Love’s Lost Friendship

whatever you want from me only love and friendship can give

~

I learned that I can still cry

sorrow is the other face of joy

to grieve silently is to be human

lost and broken and yet I’m a man

now all this friend can say is goodbye

you were the only love I’ve ever known

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

dawn in New Mexico

a better time to say farewell

Friendship and Truth

a single rose can be my garden ~ a single friend, my world

Many believe that just because they spend a lot of time with someone, then they are friends.  Or if they are lovers, then they must also be friends.  Or if they just like being with someone, then they must be friends.  Perhaps, and perhaps real and true friendship means much more than that.

Generally, two people are drawn together for some very simple and constantly repeating reasons.  And the most common of these is that they are co-workers.  It’s difficult to spend 8 hours a day with someone without wanting them to be your friend.  There are also some good reasons to be friends with your co-workers; like it gives you someone to go to lunch with.  On the other hand, I’ve worked very closely with people I hated ~ just couldn’t stand them, and outside of working together saw and spoke to them as little as possible.

Common interests also bring people together, for example liking the same sport, pastime, or hobby.  I became friendly with some people I went to a group with, but whether we were real friends is another matter.  I also became friends with some guys I played golf with, but outside of a liking golf we had few other things in common, (except we came from the same socio-economic background).

Common interests include some things that will never create true friendships; ‘drinking buddies’, drugs, gambling, casual sex, stealing….. generally things that people do after dark.

Shared values also bring people together, and here the list is long and strange.  We can include; truth and honesty, thrift and generosity, the church, religion, human rights, charitable causes, politics, green issues, animal protection, belief in a flat Earth, belief in UFOs, belief in extra-terrestrial civilisations, belief in past lives…..  The thing is, if people share the same values they also tend to create groups to support their values and special interests.  But, shared values are not enough to create a true friendship, they just bring people together.

Conversely, if two people have very divergent values they can never become true friends.

Of course, one reason people might say they are friends is if they are having sex.  Fucking someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re friends ~ probably people who just have sex are not real friends.  Some marriages might have good sex in them without the partners being true friends.

As far as I’m concerned, before yesterday I was never a true and honest friend with anyone, ever.  I suffer from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and unless and until you are recovering from that you cannot ever be a real friend to anyone ~ there is just to much boiling shit going on in your mind.  Today I know I am recovering from my illness, and today I hope I have 3 friends.  Three is a good number.

Some say that honest people never hear the truth.  And that very honest people are very impolite.  All I know is that real friendship is based on honesty, openness, and trust.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

today there is a garden in my life

Know What You Don’t Want

A wise man doesn’t try to get what he doesn’t want.

Many people don’t know what they want out of life, and many of them struggle to find a way to discover their true needs, want, desires, and dreams.  Even if you know what you most need, want, desire, and dream of having ~ well, whatever it is might be very difficult, or almost impossible to acquire.  This applies especially to friendship, love, sexual desire…..  in fact anything that relies upon another person doing what you want is always going to be an almost impossible dream.  You have no control whatsoever over what another person thinks, feels, likes, dislikes, loves, or hates.

Your most important “want” should be the one you can control.  ~  Shannon L. Alder.

You cannot make her / him love you, desire you, or even like you.

It follows therefore, that in our journey through life, at some point we should work out what we truly, honestly, realistically need, want, desire, or dream of having.

And this is where most of us come unstuck.  We have no idea what it is that we want ~ other than our life goes on pretty much as it has always gone on, without us having to think about it too much, or wandering too far outside of our own comfort zones.

We Just Do Not Know What We Really Want.

However, all of us, or almost all of us, know what we don’t like about our life.  Almost all of us know exactly what we hate about our lives.  Most of us know exactly who and what we want to walk away from, and after that never, ever, keep in touch.

Some of us can tell exactly when there’s an elephant in the room ~ we know when there are important issues that are not being discussed with our significant other, and instead all we ever seem to talk about is meaningless trivia.

Many of us know that our wants, needs, desires, and important dreams are not being fulfilled.  We know that we are frustrated and unfulfilled.

Therefore, as a first step to knowing what you really want, write down what you know you don’t want.  Write down what you don’t like about your life.  Write down what you hate about your life.

Be honest.  Be brutally honest with yourself.

Do not censor yourself ~ just write down what comes into your head.

Don’t over-think things, just write, whatever it is and however bad it seems.

You will have to force yourself to confront the real and damaging issues in your most private life, instead of just focusing on fluffy easy minor annoyances.

Most likely you will not complete your list of dislikes and hates in one short attempt.  Keep your list safe, and add to it whenever you think of something else that disturbs your quest for a fulfilling inner peace.

And, most importantly, DO NOT let anyone else see this list of the things and people you hate and what you hate about them.

For example, your partner / wife / husband may not be happy to know that you think she / he is as sexually responsive as a wooden plank.  You know what, if I had a significant other / partner / wife like that, then I’d hate that too.  (Trust me, I’d hate it, I’ve been there.)

Most likely, if you’re brutally honest with yourself,  sex will feature heavily on your list of things that aren’t going right for you.  After that, probably your job, your home life, your friends, health, fitness, enjoyment…..

My current list of things I don’t like / hate about my life has 34 things on it, and I’m telling nobody what they are.

But now I have a good idea of what I don’t want, I can start to get what I do want, by any means necessary.  (As long as the means I use are legal, honest, and ethical, I will do whatever it takes to get what I truly need, want, desire, and dream about.)

When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.  ~  Jim Rohn

Some say that success is getting what you want.  And that happiness is getting what you need.  All I know is that I’m damn certain what I don’t want in my life.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

I would like to go back to California again

 

 

Flowers for Friendship

the kiss of the sun for pardon

the song of the birds for mirth

you are nearer your love in a garden

than anywhere else on earth

~

 

~

~

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

you’ve got a friend

~

I’ve got troubles, and you’ve got them too

but together we can always see it through

there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do, for you

you’ve got a friend in me, my love is true

you’ve got a friend in me

~

~

Real friendship asks nothing and gives everything.

Please listen responsibly

~

inspectionjackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

Friendship

P1010717

~

I said I’d be her friend

until the very end

no matter what

depend on that

will this kill me?

or not?

~

P1040480words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

liebster-12

a day’s race well run

P1040574

~

time is all we have to spend

though we ignore its passing

we know it will too soon end

give me the hopeful dawning

of a new day’s bright morning

to share with one true friend

life’s full measure challenging

until the quiet calm of evening

transcends the lonely yearning

waiting for what can never be

~

P1030480

liebster-12words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

 

appreciating friendship

P1030457

~

can’t wait to see you again

so I can learn to understand

how to be only just a friend

hoping love has not ended

and I can be with you again

~

P1030943

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

The Importance Of Friends

A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. P1010392

Tell me there is a reason

and why things happen

that there’s a season to be happy

Tell me there is a dream

where there are no demons

and that you can rely on friends

~

words and pictures by jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Garden of Rocks

P1010385

If your path is strewn with rocks

likely you made it that way

All men turn a good thing bad

seeing nothing worth nurturing

Give a man a woman’s love

and he will betray her without thought

Give a man your heart

and he will throw it into the dust

Give a man a true friend

and he will think friendship unnecessary

Give a man riches

and soon he will be a beggar

Give a man cool, clear water

and he will lust for wine

Give a man bright clouds and sunshine

and he will want dark clouds and rain

Give a man a glimpse of spirituality

and he will use science to negate it

Give a man God

and soon he will be graceless

Give a man the Garden of Eden

and he will cover it with rocks

~

words and picture by jack collier

JackCollier7@talktalk.net

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