Tag Archives: failed relationship

Dissilusionment Defined

What becomes of the broken-hearted man.

~

land of confusion

desire’s lost illusions

an inevitable conclusion

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

hit the road Jack,

and don’t look back

Scenes on Sunday ~ Memories

Life is full of moments you can’t put into words.

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Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

often, people just get in the way

Times Like This

if there’s something I can’t do for you

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dispair’s stygian midnight darkness

the lost  bloom of rose’s red dark abyss

my spirit told me there’d be times like this

my dreams told me there’d be days like these

and my heart warned me there’d be love like this

but nothing told me that there could be hurt like this

ending this painful bliss with our one last farewell kiss

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

just some far away blue horizon.

Here’s looking at you

The art of seduction is knowing what she really wants.

~

I don’t belong here

I can’t get near her

loved her for years

and there is no cure

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

It’s the same old story,

a fight for love and glory.

 

 

Expectations vs Reality

When you stop expecting people to be perfect,
then you can like them for who they are.

~

Believing our expectations causes pain because the expectations often clash with reality ~ with life as it really is, and the future as it is meant to be.  The expectation could be as simple as; I wish I didn’t have to go to the store today’ or the expectation could be powerful, such as ‘after all this I expect her to have sex with me’.  It could be an utterly impossible desire, such as wanting her to exercise hard to have a better body.

Whatever the disconnect is, any time we believe a thought that says Life should be different from the way it is now, then we will really suffer.  Every single time.

Have an expectation that isn’t completely under your own control, an expectation that says; ‘he / she should be different, Life should be different’, and you will get badly hurt.  Take life as it is, live in the moment, and don’t ever try to change another person, and most likely you won’t be hurt ~ or not so badly.  Even you cannot control the cosmos.

Some of the time we cannot even control our own thoughts, which have a tendency to drift off into fantastical flights of fancy, building castles in the clouds.  Most of the time we can’t control our own bodies; we get sick, we gain weight, we start looking older…..  What will happen will happen whether we like it or not ~ sometimes it’s best to pretend to like what’s happening, even if you secretly hate it.  Remember the adage ‘fake it to make it’.

If you don’t like something change it.  If you can’t change it, change your attitude.  ~  Maya Angelou.

Never focus so hard on what you want that you ignore what you already have.  Never believe that you can change a woman, because you can’t.  And, if you can’t live with what you have, then just walk away.  You certainly can never change her past.

Some say that men are quick to leave a relationship.  And that they almost always return.  All I know is that if you leave her, you should never, ever look back.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never date an alcoholic woman

it will not end well

 

Losing a Lover

Where there is true love there is joy in life.

~

once you had sunshine

once you had true love

desire always and ever

and then came the rain

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the ways of love can be cruel

Expectations of Desire

Desire is the consolation you have when you can’t have love.

~

expectations

dreams and desires

crushed into the desert

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a sad and lonely little man

Sexual Jealousy

Sexual Jealousy, that dangerous dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.

Sexual jealousy is being upset, angry, bitter, resentful, and depressed because someone who you profess to love has been unfaithful, or seems interested in another person, or was involved with others in the past, or you imagine that they are, or were.  It isn’t real ~ sexual jealousy is actually caused by insecurity, fear, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.

My friends, and especially my women friends, used to suffer terribly from my irrational jealousies.  My jealousy wasn’t so much fun for me either, it did nothing for me except to make me unhappy and encourage me to get drunk.  My jealousy may have been unpleasant for others, but it was an absolute torment for me.  Being a miserable, resentful, angry, jealous drunk isn’t marked anywhere on the road to happiness and serenity, but it’s a major waypoint on the road to coming face to face with your own personal, terrifying dragon.

Yet, I was only tormenting myself in fear of being hurt and tormented by someone I thought I cared for ~ if you truly care for someone then jealousy has no place in your heart.  Ergo, I did not really care for, far less love, any women I became jealous over.  In fact, the best I could say is that I was infatuated.  Any man who becomes infatuated over a woman does not value himself, and I was even worse than that, back then I didn’t even like myself.

Men and women are jealous in different ways, and for different reasons ~ typically men will become jealous because of a perceived threat to their ego, masculinity, sexual dominance, and existing relationship.  However, women generally become jealous because of the threat to their existing relationship, and not because of their potentially bruised ego.

Any action taken as a result of sexual jealousy is likely to be extremely destructive ~ it will do nothing towards repairing your relationship, nor will it foster a greater understanding between you and your partner.  On the contrary, in my case any woman I was involved with would always feel that she was walking on eggshells, and be afraid to be herself in case my jealousy spilled over in to judgementalism, leading to my attacking her verbally and in writing.

Some say that there is never any benefit in being jealous.  And, don’t get jealous, just get even.  All I know is that if your partner has really done something bad enough to make you insanely jealous, then it’s time you just walked away from that failed relationship.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Angry, Abusive, Controlling, Confrontational,  Distrustful, Hate, Insecurities, Intolerant,  Possessive, Resentful, Sarcastic, Selfish,

and Fucking Dangerous.

The Hero’s Journey

we are already found; already truly, entirely, messily, marvelously who we were born to be  ~  Anne Lamont

Real bravery is not an absence of fear; real bravery is pressing on to do the right thing even though you may be very afraid.  Real heroism is putting others first, even at your own peril.  Real gallantry is showing courageous behaviour, and especially politely protecting and cherishing all women ~ no matter what.

Our modern word Hero derives from the classical Greek and Latin word Hērōs meaning “protector” or “defender” or “to safeguard”.  A classical Hero is a warrior who lives and dies in the pursuit of honour.  In ancient legend, How Horatius Held the Bridge as in the poem by Thomas Babington, and the 300 at the pass of Thermopylae.  In modern times the first responders who went into the burning Twin Towers are rightly thought of as Heroes.

The journey of an individual towards selfless heroism follows a pattern, oft-repeated in myths, legends, history, by Hollywood.  A relatively ordinary man, (heroes are almost always men), with more than his fair share of flaws and character defects, is thrust unexpectedly into an extraordinary situation.  More often than not a group of innocent individuals are threatened with serious injury and death by some very evil people, or a malevolent force of nature.

This ordinary man is forced by circumstances, and probably against his will, to step up and save the potential victims from harm.  Usually there is a woman, a romantic interest, somewhere in the background.

It will turn out that this reluctant hero has an unexpected and previously unrevealed skill, ability, and strength of character which will allow him to face down the bad guys, and thus save the day.

Our hero will probably suffer greatly, and be badly injured during his journey into heroism ~ sometimes he may die.  Usually there won’t be a romantic reconciliation with the woman he loves ~ instead he will metaphorically ride off into the sunset, nursing uncomplaining his physical, emotional, and spiritual pain.

Hollywood has innumerable examples of this hero’s journey; High Noon, Die Hard, North by Northwest, Alien, (Ripley was a heroine), Star Wars, Shane, Valdez is Coming….  More importantly, this story is played out many times over in real life.  And yet, these stories almost never have a happy ending.

Some say that true happiness is to have no ambition, and yet to work like a horse as if you had every ambition.  And that it is to live apart from the cares of another, not need her, and yet still to love her.  All I know is that true happiness is being wherever you are, and whomsoever you truly are, and not let that scare you.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s not the age honey,

it’s the mileage

 

Songs on Saturday ~ Annie Lennox

my whole life is cracked, and nobody can put me back together again

I live in an empty room with a teddy bear called Marmaduke, everyone else in my life I have loved has cut me down.

Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Love is like glass, the brighter the glitter, the more easily broken.

Please listen responsibly.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the sea, a winter mirror

seen through a glass, darkly

 

 

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