If you can dream, and not make dreams your master…..
The day that we stop wanting, needing, wishing, and dreaming is the day we stop walking the warrior’s path, and begin to take that long dark road towards disappointment, despair, and death. I know some people who seem to have no dreams, and I know a few people who are living in a dark nightmare. People with no dreams often also seem to be hell-bent on self-destruction through drink, drugs, gambling, self-harm, unsafe casual sex, suicide attempts….. I can recognise those people because I used to be one of them.
Some say that being negative, depressed, filled with character defects, is a condition to be pitied and that we should try to understand without condemning or blaming.
You know what? I don’t agree with that idea at all. Unless Life has thrown at you some terrible calamity, like having to live in a war zone, then if you’re an addict, an alcoholic, a hopeless gambler, chain smoker, depressed, suicidal, and hell-bent on being unhappy on the road to self-destruction ~ it is mostly your own fault.
There seems to be something in the subconscious mind of most people that says; ‘if I am really suffering I will get attention and love…..’ This is understandable because when we were at our most impressionable, young and vulnerable, then if we were suffering we would most likely get extra attention and love from our parents / principal carers. Angst and shelf-harming practices such as alcoholism are learned behaviours.
On the other side of the coin, if as a child we were always bright, happy, full of inventive play and dreams, then mostly our parents would leave us alone. They would leave us alone except for their own horrible negativity when we told them of our dreams, and they said; ‘you can’t possibly do that…..’
Dreaming of doing bigger, better, more exciting and more adventurous things, of meeting the partner of our dreams, or dreaming of having a wonderful life, is often driven from our own subconscious mind by the things we were told as an innocent child.
I know all this because it all happened to me, up to and including until a few weeks ago, when I had one of those revelatory moments we sometimes have in life, and I realised I could dream, and make my dreams come true.
So don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t think you are a hopeless case. You can be who you want to be and do whatever you want to do ~ stop believing that you’re trapped, and start wishing and dreaming again.
I’m dreaming of sunshine this Christmas
The future is not something we enter.
The future is something we create.
My dreams have always been the fuel for my success. Without my dreams there could never have been any meaningful and lasting success in my life. And, some say I have been very successful ~ depending on how you measure success.
I firmly believe that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled. That all enlightened people have come to their enhanced state of happiness through achieving at least one of their dreams. There must always be something in your life that motivates, drives, excites, and captivates you, otherwise you are not living, you are just existing. Or, you may as well be living in a doorway on a sheet of cardboard.
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential….. these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. ~ Confucius
My dreams became the goals that pushed me to believe in the impossible, to make interesting and unexpected changes in my life, to get out of my comfort zone and take unimagined risks.
Sometimes we choose to ignore or forget what it is that we really love, want, need, and desire. We let ourselves be guided and driven by other people’s’ expectations. We think my parents will never support my ideas, and, my wife will never allow me to do this…..
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, courage, and hard work. Colin Powell
Really successful people never forget what they love to do, what they want, what they need, what they desire and lust after. Fortunate men and women learn to follow their own path and make the right choices ~ no matter how crazy or unpopular those choices might appear to others, especially parents and partners.
Think about this; If money was not an issue, what kind of life and work would you choose to have. Would you choose to live, or would you choose to just exist? If you aim to be perfect, if you aim to please everyone all of the time, then you will be very disappointed.
Some say that behind every successful person there is a dream fulfilled. And, that we should create plans, solutions, and strategies to achieve our wildest dreams. All I know is that today I live an enlightened life that others don’t even dare to dream about.
Sometimes, the Magic happens.
last night, the England soccer team were not truly following their dream
A wise man doesn’t try to get what he doesn’t want.
Many people don’t know what they want out of life, and many of them struggle to find a way to discover their true needs, want, desires, and dreams. Even if you know what you most need, want, desire, and dream of having ~ well, whatever it is might be very difficult, or almost impossible to acquire. This applies especially to friendship, love, sexual desire….. in fact anything that relies upon another person doing what you want is always going to be an almost impossible dream. You have no control whatsoever over what another person thinks, feels, likes, dislikes, loves, or hates.
Your most important “want” should be the one you can control. ~ Shannon L. Alder.
You cannot make her / him love you, desire you, or even like you.
It follows therefore, that in our journey through life, at some point we should work out what we truly, honestly, realistically need, want, desire, or dream of having.
And this is where most of us come unstuck. We have no idea what it is that we want ~ other than our life goes on pretty much as it has always gone on, without us having to think about it too much, or wandering too far outside of our own comfort zones.
We Just Do Not Know What We Really Want.
However, all of us, or almost all of us, know what we don’t like about our life. Almost all of us know exactly what we hate about our lives. Most of us know exactly who and what we want to walk away from, and after that never, ever, keep in touch.
Some of us can tell exactly when there’s an elephant in the room ~ we know when there are important issues that are not being discussed with our significant other, and instead all we ever seem to talk about is meaningless trivia.
Many of us know that our wants, needs, desires, and important dreams are not being fulfilled. We know that we are frustrated and unfulfilled.
Therefore, as a first step to knowing what you really want, write down what you know you don’t want. Write down what you don’t like about your life. Write down what you hate about your life.
Be honest. Be brutally honest with yourself.
Do not censor yourself ~ just write down what comes into your head.
Don’t over-think things, just write, whatever it is and however bad it seems.
You will have to force yourself to confront the real and damaging issues in your most private life, instead of just focusing on fluffy easy minor annoyances.
Most likely you will not complete your list of dislikes and hates in one short attempt. Keep your list safe, and add to it whenever you think of something else that disturbs your quest for a fulfilling inner peace.
And, most importantly, DO NOT let anyone else see this list of the things and people you hate and what you hate about them.
For example, your partner / wife / husband may not be happy to know that you think she / he is as sexually responsive as a wooden plank. You know what, if I had a significant other / partner / wife like that, then I’d hate that too. (Trust me, I’d hate it, I’ve been there.)
Most likely, if you’re brutally honest with yourself, sex will feature heavily on your list of things that aren’t going right for you. After that, probably your job, your home life, your friends, health, fitness, enjoyment…..
My current list of things I don’t like / hate about my life has 34 things on it, and I’m telling nobody what they are.
But now I have a good idea of what I don’t want, I can start to get what I do want, by any means necessary. (As long as the means I use are legal, honest, and ethical, I will do whatever it takes to get what I truly need, want, desire, and dream about.)
When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it. ~ Jim Rohn
Some say that success is getting what you want. And that happiness is getting what you need. All I know is that I’m damn certain what I don’t want in my life.
I would like to go back to California again
Solitude and the sea is not the same as loneliness.
one night of dreams
nothing is what it seems
wandering on lonely beaches
solitary heart breaking seascapes
Dreams shed light into places our waking self fears to go.
Very, very rarely I can remember a dream when I wake in the morning. Vivid, meaningful dreams that are as long and detailed as a real-life event played out like a powerful TV drama. The memory of these dreams does not fade, the memories of dreams like these stays with me as long and as strong as any real-life memories.
Usually these dreams are enlightening, they teach me something important, they bring clarity to an area of my life that has been mired in confusion. Sometimes these vivid dreams are disturbing.
A couple of nights ago I dreamed of betrayal. In this dream my friend played, seduced, and then had sex with a handsome house guest while I was sleeping. Very strange. I do not believe I have ever before had a dream that was even remotely like that version of sexual betrayal. It was not the most pleasant dream I have ever had.
The dream got worse than that. My reaction to my friend playing and then having sex with a handsome house guest was violent. In my dream I threw her down a flight of stairs. And, that kind of violence can kill people.
I have thought hard about what this all might mean.
One thing it means is that in my dream I tapped into a place, into thoughts and feelings, that my wakeful and conscious mind would fear to tread. Or perhaps I wouldn’t ever go to that dark place because I didn’t even know it existed.
I think the second thing it means is that part of me must believe that my friend used to be the kind of woman who would have sex with just about anyone. That is very hurtful and disturbing. I am hopeful that this dream was me getting rid of those negative thoughts once and for all.
But, the most terrible thing is that, deep down in my psyche, I may have a propensity towards extreme violence. I hope not.
I am glad my dream took me to places in my mind that I would not otherwise venture toward. I am not glad about what I found there.
But, there is another thought. Dreams such as the one I described may have been sent to me by a Goddess I believe in. If that’s the case the dark Goddess Isis sent me that dream. She is trying to teach me something. Perhaps deep down I am attracted to sexually available and promiscuous women ~ I’m not certain that’s the case, but the thought and meanings are interesting.
It would be good if the lesson was more obvious, and less disturbing.
What I do know is that there is no end to love.
Perhaps that is the whole point.
where ever you are
and whoever you are
I hope that your year
is ending well.
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pictures taken with a Lumix
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Even grown men cry sometimes. Even grown men are blue when their dreams cannot ever come true.
There are many species of dreams. Pleasant dreams, disturbing dreams, day dreams, nightmares…
Perhaps only when we accept that some dreams are just fantasies that we can find true happiness.
Paradise is a never-never land, but there is joy to be found in the real world ~ if we accept the freedom of acceptance of what is rather than wishing for the impossible. From acceptance it is just a short step to sanity and serenity.
I can accept that all the dreams I dream with you may never come true.
words and pictures by jack collier
shattered dreams, shattered souls, shattered surf
life is pain in perpetual perfection
she will steal your dreams and break your heart
you gaze at the stars in reflection
they are dimmed and blurred, red giant, white dwarf
she is the morning star Venus
and she will tear you apart
just to see you cry broken and hopeless
Kiss, fuck, kiss, part ~ forever
words and pictures by jack collier
TODAY WAS A PERFECT DAY IN ENGLAND
Dreams and Seascapes
Haunting music of the wind
wave counterpointed, azure sky echoed
Frames the Seascape bowl with solitary figure walking
Against a world struggling
changing, but ever the same
words and picture by Jack Collier
THERE ARE VERY FEW WAYS TO IMPRESS A VERY SOPHISTICATED WOMAN ~ TWELVE INCHES OF SHINY BLACK VINYL IS ONE
I don’t often spend my free time wandering around shopping malls, browsing, not wanting to buy anything in particular, not needing anything in particular. To be honest the only thing on my wish list is a classic V12 E-Type Jaguar convertible in Dark British Racing Green, and I’m not holding my breath. However, after browsing the smoking-hot and heavily made-up assistants prowling around the better cosmetics outlets, I went into a store I thought had closed. HMV, the record store, also known as His Master’s Voice, the place that still sells music and movies on physical media. And there, right there among the Blu-ray discs and overpriced DVD’s was a nugget. Right there in front of me was a veritable Gem of the first water. A Real Man is unable to resist something like that.
As well as thinking HMV had gone out of business, I also thought that nobody was making proper records anymore. Well, as it turns out they are. I bought myself a brand-new copy of Rumours. The seminal Fleetwood Mac album from 1977 on shiny black vinyl inside a decent sized sleeve, with the classic photograph of artist and dancer / muse in supplication on the front cover. Rumours is the 14th best selling album of all time, over 10 million copies had been sold by the end of 1978, and I didn’t have a copy, not on black vinyl I didn’t.
The tracks on this fabulous album are;
- Second Hand News
- Never Going Back Again
- Don’t Stop
- Go Your Own Way
- The Chain
- You Make Loving Fun
- I Don’t Want To Know
- Oh Daddy
- Gold Dust Woman
All of these tracks are massively commercial, and all of them have hearts of tortured dreams and unresolved jealousy. I know a good girl, I don’t know if she has heard Oh Daddy, perhaps she should.
So, given that I also have this album on compact disk and as downloaded digital files on various little boxes. Why another copy, on a fragile and unwieldy one-foot diameter piece of black vinyl, where the sound is generated by a process that is over two centuries old? Because it’s better is why.
The sound on a ‘proper’ record isn’t digitised, remastered, re-edited, or made up of miniscule chunks of ones and zeros. The sound you get from a proper record is analogue. Analogue is something the younger generation know nothing about. Analogue is full-fat, high protein, carbohydrate free, flash-grilled, 36 ounce, rib-eye steak to digital’s yeast protein burger. A Long-Playing 33 1/3 record, when played on a hugely expensive, hugely huge, hugely hot, power-hungry, high-fidelity system that has glowing valves and trailing wires to the massive speakers in the corner of the room, sounds ‘better’ than actually being there.
High fidelity analogue recorded music sounds heart-rending, emotionally good and real. Women are very auditory creatures. This album, played on a decent system, will make strong girls cry and even bring a lump to the throat of a very manly man. The driving bass of The Chain, which has the best guitar break of all time, the classic lyrics of Dreams, and the slow sad Oh Daddy story of unrequited love will melt the stoniest lady’s loins.
Face it guys, there’s not much a man can do that will actually impress a hot date. She has seen it all before, heard every line before, she’s been wooed by taller, better looking, richer, fitter guys than you. A hot date will have been inside more expensive restaurants than you’ve had cooked meals. She will have been driven there in cooler cars than yours by guys wearing Armani who can afford to buy her Chanel. If she has gone back to their place, it will have been bigger, cooler and better decorated than your garret. That guy’s bed-linen will be of the highest thread-count pure linen, cotton, silk or satin. He may even have better booze than yours. But, unless he is, actually, Mister James Bond, he will not have a decent record player.
Just putting a record on the deck, all of that shiny black vinyl reflecting the lights, has all of the simple elegance of a traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony. And, after the record goes around and around, the music goes up a sensual tone-arm, into a big and softly glowing amplifier, and then the music comes out all over your room. She will go silent, and just a little bit misty-eyed.
You have her at the first vocals of Second Hand News, and if you don’t have her at that, then you don’t want her. Trust me on this. If she doesn’t melt, then throw her back, no matter how hot she is.
In that case, why do so few men have high-fidelity record-players in their lonely garret?
At the end of the achingly beautiful track Songbird, you will discover why so few men have high-fidelity record-players these days. That’s the end of that side, the music stops, and perhaps all you get is the rhythmic shush ~ shush ~ shush as the needle tries not to track over the label in the middle of all that shiny black vinyl. A man has to leave his hot date, where ever they are and whatever they are doing, to turn over the damn record. Which can be inconvenient and break the mood a little. In addition, the things you need to play the things on are normally hugely huge and eat power like a hungry horse eating small carrots. You have to find some way to hide all the fat wires, the records themselves take up a lot of space, are expensive, fragile and these days difficult to get hold of.
In short, real records, on real high-fidelity record players, are just the sort of thing to impress a hot, sophisticated and worldly wise woman. A good hi-fi is as expensive, impractical, stylish, rare, inconvenient and uncomfortable as a pair of Christian Louboutin with 5 inch heels. And we all think they are very sexy. The big downside is, just like Christian Louboutin, Musical Fidelity is Expensive.
The solution for the end of the recording’s lonely shush ~ shush ~ shush? I have a remote for my amplifier and record deck. The digitised music is already set up on a computer. Without moving I can switch from hot foreground music to soft smooth jazz in the background. No worries.
A partial extract from the forthcoming book; Urban Survival Skills for Men