Almost everyone is comfortable with intuition,
almost nobody is really comfortable with psychic power.
the eyes are windows to the soul
For most of my adult life I have had an uncanny ability to read people, to instantly understand moods and situations, to know that someone is lying to me. Over the past few years I have been in a long distance relationship, and without even speaking to her or chatting with her, I generally know what’s going on with my friend in California. She can wake me from a deep sleep just by thinking about me. If it involves me or my Californian friend, then sometimes I know what is probably going to happen in the future.
These things are not explainable by natural laws, until you get into the world of quantum physics where things like spooky connections, (quantum entanglement), are the norm and not the exception.
I firmly believe that thinking and feeling beings are also affected by spooky connections, and that true psychic abilities exist. Dogs can detect cancer and predict earthquakes~ how?
For example; my personal astrologer knows me and knows all about me, even though we have never met, and the most important information I have ever given her is the date, time, and place of my birth. When I say she knows me it’s almost as though she has bugged my apartment and has cameras watching everything I do. She also predicts my future with uncanny accuracy.
I truly believe that I am also cursed with psychic abilities. Over the past few days I have stopped suppressing my unnatural intuition and allowed free rein to any sixth sense or second sight I may have. It’s already got me into trouble with my Californian friend.
Also, allowing psychic forces to manifest themselves is driving a very strong need for self-improvement and self-development deep within me. Mostly this drive includes the following weird stuff;
- a need to eat less meat
- a very low tolerance of overeating and eating rich foods
- a total repulsion of processed food and junk food
- a total intolerance to booze
- a strong desire to explore, new places, new situations, new people
- an inability to sit still, I continually need to be doing stuff
- my creativity has exploded into fascinating areas
- utter intolerance of procrastination and being late
- a very low tolerance for things that I think and feel are wrong
- utter fascination with self-improvement and self-development
- a need to more deeply connect with my Muse / Goddess / Spiritual Guide
Some say that the Cosmos is filled with unseen energy vibrations. And that what we think, feel, and desire are driven by this cosmic energy. All I know is that it’s better for me if I never tell anyone that I can read them like a book.
ancient philosophers and modern quantum physicists believe that Time is not a straight line
time is curved ~ the past, present, and future run in parallel
‘Goddess’ simply means the divine in female form.
Aphrodite is the Goddess of beauty, desire, love, lust, pleasure, procreation, and sex
In classical sculpture Aphrodite was usually depicted naked
She’s always good when she’s so bad, always telling me such beautiful lies
The best of my sunsets is yet to pass to the west.
There are a couple of ways of walking through that dark and dangerous jungle that surrounds the warrior’s path. One is to hack aside the undergrowth, wade through stinking swamps, clamber over the steepest rocks, struggle sweating and cursing one footstep at a time towards an imagined false destination. The other is to accept the things the path has brought, in harmony understand why the Goddess has made Life seemingly difficult, live within the warrior’s path without trying to conquer it.
There are no prizes for guessing how I’ve been acting on my journey along the warrior’s path.
In Life I have been trying to fix what I thought was wrong, to overcome, to shape the world and the people in it according to my own expectations, mores, and standards. As you would expect, I can’t fix Life. I can’t make the world, the people in it, the things that happen, be the way I want them to be. That has never stopped me from trying, with all of my might and main, to change the things I cannot change.
You would think a man would know that the only thing he can change is himself.
And yet, it seems that a great deal of powerful transitional energy is coming my way. Venus has begun to support and nurture Mars. If I feel ready enough, then I can embrace a life path that is more true to who and what I really am.
I have been burdened by my own anger, frustration, jealousies, pain, resentments….. and I have carried this burden into each new day. I have been reckless and negligent with the feelings, wants, and needs of others. But, that need to conquer the warrior’s path is fading into memory, and I am beginning to learn the mindfulness of acceptance and understanding.
Some say that all men are blind to the real love and friendship that is closest to them. And, that if you show a man a beautiful woodland his first thought will be that he needs to cut it down. All I know is that the only really true thing is what is in front of me right now.
My Goddess Aphrodite was born from the Ocean’s foam
The Mediterranean breathes a new life into the world.
the sun, a beach, the sea, a jug of wine, and thee…..
My muse as always, is Aphrodite. ~ Shakespeare in Love
my goddess of love, sorceress, divine spirit,
you were there when I needed you most,
when I was lonely, miserable and lost,
drifting aimlessly from pillar to post,
you visited in dreams as a ghost,
and as a goddess lifted me up,
for that I shall you worship,
forever, no matter what,
you live in my heart.
Aphrodite, Goddess of Grace and lascivious love of Ares ~ eternally unrequited
Don’t be ashamed of your story ~ it will inspire others.
When nothing is ventured, nothing is gained, so what’s the sense of running away from your own life. The good things just don’t fall out of the sky, they have to be worked for. But we have to do the right things, at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. Trying to force the best that Life has to offer doesn’t ever work ~ we have to work with the rhythms of the Cosmos, and not against the flow of the tides.
The great rhythms of nature, today so dully disregarded, wounded even, have their spacious and primeval liberty….. Journeying birds alight here and fly away again all unseen, schools of fish move beneath the waves, the surf flings its spray against the sun. ~ Henry Beston.
Little did I realise when I was an overpaid and overworked international banker how little I saw of nature. What I saw were offices, the inside of cars, trains and ‘planes, hotels, airports, other offices, and city streets. I earned a hell of a lot of money, but money is a false God, and money never made me happy. Today I can be happy to walk by the sea, to look at the sky, to enjoy the vast curve of a distant horizon, to listen to the murmur of the surf and the mournful cries of the gulls. Cars, trains, and ‘planes still have their place in my life, but now it’s only a minor element of who I am ~ cities are no longer the be-all and end-all.
Perhaps it is the night of despair where you are, and I am certain that you are not sleeping soundly. If you are dreaming at all, I hope you are having sweet and pleasant dreams, but I’m certain that you are not. I am certain your dreams are weird and disturbing, turning into nightmares. Try and leave those night-terrors behind you for a while. There are enough nightmares in the real world without us having to suffer them during our sleep.
The world turns, it may be day-time here, night-time where you are, and somewhere the dawn is breaking and the birds are awakening. The Cosmos is like a giant time-piece, it has a rhythm of its own ~ the Cosmos keeps its own time. Be aware, just like the rhythms of a friendship and love between two people change and develop, so the Cosmos is a continual state of change. We need to enjoy the moonlight while we wait for the sunrise.
We are a part of the Cosmos, we are where our physical bodies are, but our spirits are everywhere. We exist in this time, but we also exist in a myriad of pasts and possible futures. I want, need, and desire that the future that awaits me is chosen from the best of all possible alternative realities. I can close my eyes and imagine ideal pasts, presents, and futures, and in all of them I hope I can spend some cool times with people I care for, cherish, and love.
We are made of starstuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself. ~ Carl Sagan
What have we dreamed and who have we lost? In my ideal times we are entirely friendly, trusting, honest, open, caring and loving. You know what? I don’t think that it’s too much for me to pray to the Goddess to help me to attain my own earthly versions of nirvana. It may seem strange to you but I pray to the mother goddess, and in her form incarnate; Aphrodite. I dream of he Goddess Aphrodite, still looking for the place where we belong together.
I am excited about where I can go in time and space, in friendship, love, and sensual pleasure. The cool things I could possibly do, and the cool places I could visit. It’s about being able to fly, about having the courage to live life to the fullest, to enjoy every moment of every day. Someday soon I will build a tiny trailer, and someday after that I will build something much more ambitious, like a school-bus RV, or a tiny home in someplace beautiful, with a wonderful view of the dawn and sunset.
Shit happens all the time, but one has to remember that; as there is no growth without suffering, there can be no pleasure without pain. There is a reason we were brought to this life, all we have to do is trust and take one small step in time. Such are my beliefs.
It’s not all sweet and elegant lies. Shit happens, but Magic happens too.
Recovery is possible ~ but first one has to admit that there is a problem.
the moon still shines in the deep darkness
the night is filled with malevolent stillness
my dreams are fueled with harsh blackness
a soul shattered, scattered with wickedness
evil goddess incarnate uncaring in hardness
yet I know in my dreams my soul is helpless
enraptured by her exotic sexual weirdness
Solitude and the sea is not the same as loneliness.
one night of dreams
nothing is what it seems
wandering on lonely beaches
solitary heart breaking seascapes
My epiphany came in that moment of the dawn.
In my heart
I feel like I was born again
In my soul
I feel an entire new beginning
In my spirit
It feels like I am an entire man
It feels like my life is starting anew
because of the dreadful dawn Aphrodite brings
and she brings torture, torment, pain, and sorrows
she brings eroticism, sexual love, and bright tomorrows
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Dreams shed light into places our waking self fears to go.
Very, very rarely I can remember a dream when I wake in the morning. Vivid, meaningful dreams that are as long and detailed as a real-life event played out like a powerful TV drama. The memory of these dreams does not fade, the memories of dreams like these stays with me as long and as strong as any real-life memories.
Usually these dreams are enlightening, they teach me something important, they bring clarity to an area of my life that has been mired in confusion. Sometimes these vivid dreams are disturbing.
A couple of nights ago I dreamed of betrayal. In this dream my friend played, seduced, and then had sex with a handsome house guest while I was sleeping. Very strange. I do not believe I have ever before had a dream that was even remotely like that version of sexual betrayal. It was not the most pleasant dream I have ever had.
The dream got worse than that. My reaction to my friend playing and then having sex with a handsome house guest was violent. In my dream I threw her down a flight of stairs. And, that kind of violence can kill people.
I have thought hard about what this all might mean.
One thing it means is that in my dream I tapped into a place, into thoughts and feelings, that my wakeful and conscious mind would fear to tread. Or perhaps I wouldn’t ever go to that dark place because I didn’t even know it existed.
I think the second thing it means is that part of me must believe that my friend used to be the kind of woman who would have sex with just about anyone. That is very hurtful and disturbing. I am hopeful that this dream was me getting rid of those negative thoughts once and for all.
But, the most terrible thing is that, deep down in my psyche, I may have a propensity towards extreme violence. I hope not.
I am glad my dream took me to places in my mind that I would not otherwise venture toward. I am not glad about what I found there.
But, there is another thought. Dreams such as the one I described may have been sent to me by a Goddess I believe in. If that’s the case the dark Goddess Isis sent me that dream. She is trying to teach me something. Perhaps deep down I am attracted to sexually available and promiscuous women ~ I’m not certain that’s the case, but the thought and meanings are interesting.
It would be good if the lesson was more obvious, and less disturbing.
What I do know is that there is no end to love.
Perhaps that is the whole point.
where ever you are
and whoever you are
I hope that your year
is ending well.
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