deep down we already know the truth, we merely have to accept it
not all is well if she ignores you on a date
I needed to write this because the story of my life that has been related within these posts has always been true, but not necessarily the whole truth. At times the whole truth was too distressing for me to accept and understand, let alone write about.
At times my life demanded more of my inner resources than I had to give. And, when I failed and fell off the warriors path I risked doing far more damage than just scraping my knee. There was a time, years that ended just a few days ago, when being a sacrificial animal on the alter of someone else’s toxic wants, needs, and desires was an integral part of my mindset. Self-neglect resulting in unhappiness, depression, alcoholism, and physical illness also cost me a hell of a lot of time and money. I have now come to accept that some manipulative people can make being in a dysfunctional relationship seem perfectly normal. Of course, for a man like me that devious person had to be a woman ~ perhaps more than one woman. We go on making the same mistakes until we accept and understand our own denial. That is part of my truth.
I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives. ~ Leo Tolstoy
Fortunately my mindset has changed. I can’t take much credit for that, but now I am seeking and finding real balance in my life, the critical differences that can prevent me from falling off the cliff and hitting yet another rock bottom. The critical differences between living well and living foolishly.
It’s time for me to practice self-care and self-love instead of martyrdom and victim-hood. I haven’t forgotten that these are not easy battles to win ~ not least because of my own previous denial. It’s difficult to admit the whole truth to others when you are lying to yourself. And from time to time I got drunk and went off-line just to escape from the truth, just to escape from a dysfunctional ‘friendship’ for a while.
Deep down I always knew the whole truth, I merely had to accept it.
Some say that it’s better to live with soft lies than learn from hard truths. And that having half a loaf is better than no bread. All I know is that if I accept the truth and live with it my heart will be at peace.
not all is well is she dates much younger men
not when she’s supposed to be dating you
failure consists of redoubling your efforts when you have completely forgotten your goal
The most pernicious word in modern English is denier ~ as in climate change denier, coronavirus denier, BAME denier, God denier, and worst of all Holocaust denier. I know all about denial, having lied to myself for years about being socially inadequate and denied having a drinking problem. But I could never have accused anyone of being an alcoholism denier. That does just not make sense. Calling someone else a denier is merely to show up the fact that you yourself are closed-minded, have no logical basis for whatever opinions you have, and are totally unwilling to listen to arguments that run counter to your own dogma.
Basically, you are not prepared to ever admit that there is the slightest possibility that you could ever be wrong. In that case, who the fuck do you think you are? God?
Everybody human is wrong some of the time. Sometimes we are mistaken, sometimes we are ill-informed or misinformed, sometimes our own inner programming is flawed, and sometimes we believe in something just because we want to. Notice that I said believe in and not believe. Those who use the word denier believe in things rather than believe the arguments and proofs that support a given position. They will never, ever admit that they are wrong.
Surely it’s time for climate-change deniers to have their opinions forcibly tattooed on their bodies. ~ Richard Glover
I learned that really listening to other people was an essential part of being a better man ~ sometimes other people’s opinions and beliefs are better than my own. I learned that there is probably no such thing as absolute truth. I learned that when I was wrong, promptly admitting it was essential for my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
There is no better test of a man’s integrity than his behavior when he is wrong. ~ Marvin Williams
There is a principle in 12 step recovery programmes; ‘Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it…..’ Really that does not go far enough, perhaps it should go on to say; ‘…..and changed our behaviour accordingly…..’
No person who ever calls another man a denier will ever admit that it is they who are wrong.
Some say that to deny that total lockdown is the only way to deal with the coronavirus is to risk the disease running rampant, causing megadeaths. And that any opinion other than their own is emphatically false. All I know is that I have been wrong in the past, and no doubt I will be wrong again in the future.
so busy fighting off the alligators you’ve forgotten you are supposed to be draining the swamp
Marijuana is addictive. Marijuana eases pain.
Among all the alternative truths, fake news, denial, and propaganda aimed at the legalisation of cannabis / pot / marijuana are a couple of recent reports by ‘real scientists and doctors’ which clearly show that marijuana is quite likely to ruin your health, destroy your quality of life, and quite possibly kill you.
The first report compiled by the National Inpatient Study in the USA shows that marijuana use significantly increases your risk of suffering a stroke and / or heart failure, as well as exacerbating some other factors known to increase significantly cardiovascular disease including; obesity, alcoholism, high blood pressure, and smoking tobacco.
Meanwhile, a report by the Institute of Living in Connecticut, clearly shows that marijuana use makes young people stupid ~ especially when combined with booze. Of the people I know who use marijuana, ALL of them are also heavy drinkers, bordering on alcoholism. Honestly, I do not ever want to be around anyone who uses this stupid drug for recreational reasons.
Also in the USA, Narconon states that marijuana use significantly increases the risk of road traffic accidents, accidents in the home and workplace, psychosis, and schizophrenia. In fact, the chances are than anyone you know who suffers from schizophrenia has been a heavy user of marijuana at some time in their lives.
It’s well know that marijuana makes people have mental time and space distortions, poor coordination, impaired communication skills, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and terrible cognitive skills. The effects of the drug can last up to four weeks, so anyone who has used marijuana in the last four weeks shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the need to make important decisions. Anyone who has made an important decision within four weeks of using cannabis should seriously think again.
Despite what the proponents of marijuana use might say, marijuana is addictive. One in 11 people who smoke cannabis will become addicted, rising to one in six if marijuana use starts in adolescence. However, addiction is a complex problem, with multiple addictions being the most common way that lives are destroyed. Any regular user of marijuana probably also drinks, smokes tobacco, gambles, binge eats, and is most likely addicted to all of those life-destroying habits and more. There is a strong chance that anyone with multiple addictions / an addictive personality, is also suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, and should seek immediate medical treatment. (This is unlikely because most who are addicted, or suffer from borderline personality disorder, will be in the last stages of denial.)
Other downsides of cannabis use; it stinks worse than tobacco, causes lung cancer and other cancers just like tobacco, can cost you a fortune, and used anywhere that it’s illegal or against workplace regulations can land you in serious trouble. Using marijuana isn’t cool in any way, shape, or form, because it makes you talk and act like a deranged fool.
However, in the USA this addictive drug is now legal for recreational use in; Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and Washington DC ~ mostly left-leaning Democrat states. Cannabis is still illegal in Great Britain, but the police take so little notice that you’d have to be growing and selling the stuff in industrial quantities to get into any trouble from the law. Urban left-leaning liberals are very keen to have pot legalised in the United Kingdom ~ the fools.
There is some strong evidence that the medicinal use of marijuana can alleviate the symptoms of some very nasty diseases, mostly reducing nausea and pain, but the medical effects have not been properly tested in the way that a new, mainstream drug would be tested before being allowed anywhere near patients.
Using marijuana is incredibly stupid. Personally, I think you would have to be seriously loose of a few screws in the brain to go anywhere near this noxious weed. Personally, I have enough problems without ever going anywhere near cannabis or a cannabis user. Unless I was in severe pain, and the weed was the only way I could get through the day.
Have fun, smoke cannabis, and cure or kill yourself. Have a nice day.
Without a ruthless search for and acceptance of reality it is almost impossible to live a rewarding Life which will fulfill your true potential. Yet the vast majority of people would rather live in denial than accept the truth of their personal situation.
Chronic Denial of Reality can be seen in almost all alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, drug addicts, the obese, criminals, politicians, people in dysfunctional relationships… Yet without admitting there is a problem there is no possibility of fixing the problem.
Accepting and embracing reality is usually difficult and painful. But, the first of the Great Truths is that Life is Difficult and Painful. The path to recovery from suffering and mediocrity lies is recognizing this truth. In fact, dedication to recognising and accepting the truth makes us better able to deal with the real world, and not be trapped in the world inside our own heads. Real truth is reality, ~ lying to ourselves and lying to others traps us in an unreal, looking-glass world.
There is a strong tendency to hope that bad things will just go away. There is an even stronger tendency to lie to ourselves, and completely ignore negative feelings, events, and situations. This shows either a total lack of self-discipline, and / or an underlying psychological or issue. Even when one is searching for truth and reality, the real issues and problems are sometimes difficult to discover.
In my own case I spent years suffering all kinds of symptoms, from alcohol abuse to being in a series of dysfunctional relationships, before I was strong enough, and willing enough, to search deeply inside myself for the truth. For most of my life I was unwilling to accept reality. I have now realised that I suffer from a borderline personality disorder ~ a fear of abandonment. Which is one reason I live alone, as not having a partner means that I could not be abandoned by my partner. Fear of abandonment is common and if you suffer from it the disorder will blight every relationship you ever have ~ even to the extent of not entering into close relationships in the first place.
What is Denial? What is Truth? What is Reality? Denial is not a river in Egypt. Denial is actively refusing to accept the truth. There is no absolute truth ~ my truth is different from your truth. For me, searching for the truth seems to be a daily challenge to ignore the myriad surreal falsehoods which come my way. There is no ultimate reality. My reality is different from your reality ~ and I’m not ever completely certain what is real and what is a lie. For example, I firmly believe in the law of cause and effect, but I now know that simple model of the Cosmos does not always hold true. Reality can be as disorienting as any dream state hallucination. The picture above is a seascape, but it is both true and unreal.
To do more than just survive, to get by in this world without continually suffering, and without being the cause of suffering in others, we just have to do the best we can to be as completely truthful and real as we can.