it’s easy to have sex without love, but hard to have love without sex

Love is either a wonderful thing; the best thing that’s even happened to you ~ or it’s a disaster akin to a psychological disorder such as repeated suicide attempts.  One thing is clear, that when love hits you, it’s like being hit by a runaway freight train.  For good or ill, love will change your life completely.  But then, so will sex.  Aside from a one night stand of casual fucking, sex comes in several forms; desire, lust, infatuation, incest, eroticism, BDSM, fascination, passion, possessiveness, prostitution, pornography…..  None of those has anything to do with real love, and all are momentary, fleeting, temporary.

Sex is the ultimate instant gratification, wanting someone and having casual sex with them will / should make you feel great, but that feeling will never last for long.  Which is why some, especially mature married women, the archetypal MILF, can be very promiscuous.  It’s why some women continually buy lots of new shoes, or use drugs, or post erotic pictures of themselves on the internet, or have a string of affairs ~ they are just jonesing, chasing after that moment of intense pleasure.  It’s why men get addicted to pornography.

If they didn’t have it before, people who indulge in this kind of behaviour will have low self-esteem, lack self-confidence, have no true sense of identity, and most likely drink far too much and use the ‘softer’ drugs.  Seeking this kind of ‘love’ might give you successful moments, but it is no basis for a successful life.  In fact, in the long run, this kind of behaviour will ruin your life.

On the other hand, real and sustainable love can appear unexciting and less cool than fucking a different person every week, but do not be fooled by appearances.  This is what you need to create a truly successful and happy life.  It is what you feel in meaningful relationships ~ those relationships where you truly connect with, accept, and understand both yourself and the object of your affections.  Developing and living in those relationships can be difficult ~ it’s very easy to get fucked by someone you’ve just met in a pub, especially for a woman.  It’s more difficult to live in love for month after month, year after year.  The temptation to walk away from a deep and meaningful relationship is often in the air, but perseverance is richly rewarded.

To have a meaningful, long-term, loving relationship requires one thing that most people can’t or will not do, and that is to be honest.  You need to be honest, open and trusting ~ and not only with your partner, but with yourself too.  I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I have met who are truly honest with themselves and with others.  To use a hackneyed quotation ‘Everybody Lies’.

Some say that they are very much in love, but sleep with a different person every week, or more often than that.  And that casual affairs don’t ever count, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  All I know is that for two people in love the Cosmos is a wonderful place to be.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this is most likely lust in a pub

followed by casual sex in a car