Tag Archives: Character Defect

my character defects

Character defects exist to remind you of how much you were wounded.

My past was darkness

anger, anxieties, arrogance

bigotry, blaming, boastfulness

controlling, cowardice, crudeness

dishonesty, destruction, deviousness

fear, guilt, hate, harshness, hopelessness

intolerance, judgementalism, lying, lustfulness

manipulating, negativity, perfectionism, recklessness

evil sarcasm, selfishness, thoughtlessness, unfaithfulness

unreliability, undisciplined thrill seeking, vulgarity, wastefulness

all my days were filled with misery, pain, suffering, doubt, difficulties

today I am empowered, self-aware, self-confident, accepting mindfulness

I have abandoned my character defects and found acceptance and happiness


jack collier

email;  jackcollier7@talktalk.net


the pain you felt yesterday

is the strength you feel today

demons in the night

You don’t pick your demons; your demons pick you.

just remember

when demons came

every night has its dawn

don’t listen to the sad song

it will only bring you more pain

and cut your mind like a dull knife

remember this your life and be true

nightmares and demons cannot hurt you

if you take care to guard your incarnate soul


jack collier


I use a Panasonic Lumix

the pictures help my mood

personal energy that attracts



Positive, Assertive, Calm, Determined, Energetic, Generous, Kind, Optimistic..

In the past it’s always been very easy for me to focus on the negative aspects of my personality.  I have suffered from extreme insecurity, jealousy, pessimism, selfishness, and immaturity.  I’ve been judgmental, aggressive, demanding, bossy, and egotistical.  Do you know something?  Being a complete jerk is hard work, no wonder I also got tired and petulant at times.  But, that’s a Borderline Personality Disorder for you.

Instead of all that negative energy, why don’t I focus on developing my positive character traits? Positive character traits exude an energy which is attractive to others.  I’ve been told that I can be charming, funny, kind, considerate, and assertive without being domineering.  Some say I’m also intelligent and interesting, challenging but generous, attentive and romantic.  And, that it’s obvious I’m an experienced, dominant, been there, done that, don’t mess with me kind of a guy.  All I know is that I still have enough of a sense of fun to take pictures of my teddy bear.

The psychological people have told me that positive character traits can be developed and enhanced by making a conscious effort to change, but that it’s really only possible for a man to work on one thing at a time.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.  ~  Carl Rogers.

Given that sometimes I’m too smart for my own good, I’m going to work on something difficult ~ Congruence.  This means being true to me, open, genuine, honest, acting with confident integrity…

This also demands that I have to study what being congruent really means and behave in that way.

The only person who is educated is one who has learned how to learn – and change.  ~  Carl Rogers.

As I have asked in prayer; ‘Please teach me how to learn.’




Lenten Character Reformation



Lent is a Christian Festival ~ sometimes I don’t feel filled with Christian charity, and I will remedy that.  For Lent this year I am giving up some of my most cherished character defects.

Between February 10th and March 24th I will not inflict my dangerously negative feelings upon anyone.

Among the things I will not be doing during Lent are that I will not be;

  1. abusive
  2. angry
  3. arrogant
  4. censorious
  5. controlling
  6. cunning
  7. cynical
  8. devious
  9. disapproving
  10. dishonest
  11. dismissive
  12. hypercritical
  13. jealous
  14. lewd
  15. manipulative
  16. misanthropic
  17. reproachful
  18. scheming
  19. superior
  20. unscrupulous
  21. volatile

(Please feel free to tell me of any other unpleasant defects of character you would like a less than perfect man to lose.)

Only an inherently evil man like Mr.Hyde, (or an unreconstructed alcoholic), would be pleased to give free rein to actions which stem from those negative character traits.  If I feel any of these vile and malevolent emotions and impulses, I will work very hard at not letting them show.

Actually, I am not going to do anything about those nasty, abusive, and negative character defects.

Instead, I am going to be positive and affirmative, calm and peaceful, honest and honourable.  I shall walk softly and speak kindly.  I will strive to become the perfect English Gentleman.

Also, I shall stay off the booze.



Pitiless Pain’s Anguish

The Road Ahead


deafening words silently weep

shameful secrets long unspoken

childhood horrors yours to keep

pitiless parental terror choking

tears keep you from sleep

childhood innocence broken

vicious loveless degradation

humiliation, another beating

secrets buried soul-deep

so what are you longing for?

desolation, depression, suffering

jerk, scum, bastard, cunt, creep



Black_beachwords and pictures by jack collier


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