it’s easy to have sex without love, but hard to have love without sex
Love is either a wonderful thing; the best thing that’s even happened to you ~ or it’s a disaster akin to a psychological disorder such as repeated suicide attempts. One thing is clear, that when love hits you, it’s like being hit by a runaway freight train. For good or ill, love will change your life completely. But then, so will sex. Aside from a one night stand of casual fucking, sex comes in several forms; desire, lust, infatuation, incest, eroticism, BDSM, fascination, passion, possessiveness, prostitution, pornography….. None of those has anything to do with real love, and all are momentary, fleeting, temporary.
Sex is the ultimate instant gratification, wanting someone and having casual sex with them will / should make you feel great, but that feeling will never last for long. Which is why some, especially mature married women, the archetypal MILF, can be very promiscuous. It’s why some women continually buy lots of new shoes, or use drugs, or post erotic pictures of themselves on the internet, or have a string of affairs ~ they are just jonesing, chasing after that moment of intense pleasure. It’s why men get addicted to pornography.
If they didn’t have it before, people who indulge in this kind of behaviour will have low self-esteem, lack self-confidence, have no true sense of identity, and most likely drink far too much and use the ‘softer’ drugs. Seeking this kind of ‘love’ might give you successful moments, but it is no basis for a successful life. In fact, in the long run, this kind of behaviour will ruin your life.
On the other hand, real and sustainable love can appear unexciting and less cool than fucking a different person every week, but do not be fooled by appearances. This is what you need to create a truly successful and happy life. It is what you feel in meaningful relationships ~ those relationships where you truly connect with, accept, and understand both yourself and the object of your affections. Developing and living in those relationships can be difficult ~ it’s very easy to get fucked by someone you’ve just met in a pub, especially for a woman. It’s more difficult to live in love for month after month, year after year. The temptation to walk away from a deep and meaningful relationship is often in the air, but perseverance is richly rewarded.
To have a meaningful, long-term, loving relationship requires one thing that most people can’t or will not do, and that is to be honest. You need to be honest, open and trusting ~ and not only with your partner, but with yourself too. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I have met who are truly honest with themselves and with others. To use a hackneyed quotation ‘Everybody Lies’.
Some say that they are very much in love, but sleep with a different person every week, or more often than that. And that casual affairs don’t ever count, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. All I know is that for two people in love the Cosmos is a wonderful place to be.
this is most likely lust in a pub
followed by casual sex in a car
never leave the house without making certain your seams are straight
all women have great legs
some like then apart
Reinventing yourself is an essential process if you want to flourish
I came to a point in my life where I knew that I had to change, it was time to make a fresh start. As we mature, as we learn and gain greater wisdom, it is inevitable that our goals, dreams plans, and expectations change. And for some of us, struggling with difficult emotional, mental, and psychological problems, we know that we need to let go of that which doesn’t work any more, never really worked, and was never going to work as far as our personal life and relationships are concerned.
It’s first of all about letting go of expectations, resentments, and hard-wired negative emotions. It’s about exploring and educating ourselves in new ways of living, it’s about finding ways to cope with those hard-wired negative emotions, it’s about discovering new ways of being, doing, thinking, and feeling.
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski
However, I kid you not, unless you are reinventing yourself as an even worse version of the person you are today, (and I have seen many do that), then making a fundamental change to who and what you are, is
fucking very difficult.
You can become a new, different, and better person very easily using your conscious mind ~ but know this, your conscious mind is only in control of your actions for about 5% of the time, the other 95% of the time your subconscious mind is in charge. And you can’t talk to your subconscious and tell it that you’ve changed because there is nobody in there. Your subconscious is made up of a set of programs that just run in response to stimuli and rewriting those programs is next to impossible.
One proven way to do it is called Habituation or Act As If. It’s like learning to drive a car, you practice and you practice until a new set of ‘driving programs’ is stored in your subconscious. So if you want to stop drinking, smoking, taking drugs, gambling, having endless casual sexual relationships, being a jerk, being a thief….. then you need to practice and practice not doing those negative things and instead be a better person until those new and better programs are stored in your subconscious. It will take a year or two.
The snag is that your family, ‘friends’, coworkers, partners in crime, et al., will sabotage you at every turn. If you’re trying to stop drinking / smoking / taking drugs and you go out with your old circle of friends they will encourage you to drink / smoke / use ~ and the chances are you will give in. They will continue to label you as alcoholic, addict, slut, jerk, thief, chain-smoker….. in casual conversation and when describing you ~ and that is how they will always think of you. And none of that is helpful.
The lesson is, if you are reinventing yourself you have to leave behind your old life ~ including all those unsupportive family members, false friends, and toxic relationships because they will do their utmost to drag you down into the past.
your false friends would like to see you stay there in the gutter with a bottle
As legalization spreads, more Americans are becoming heavy users of cannabis, despite its link to violence and mental illness. ~ The Wall Street Journal.
The resting place for alcoholics, bums, and drug users.
The ideas I want to share with you are considered subversive and ant-social. But subversion can be a good thing. Sometimes going against mainstream opinions is not only justified, it is necessary to counter vested interests, prejudice, error, bigotry, and bad science. If an idea or opinion is not universally accepted, that does not per se mean that the different theory is wrong. Galileo was denounced for suggesting that the Earth orbited the Sun.
There exists today an extraordinary denial of the clear links between cannabis use, mental illness, crime, and violence. For what is the real difference between pot, cocaine, heroin, and sundry other dangerous psychoactive drugs, all of which lead to the untimely death of someone?
As many Americans are regular users of dangerous psychoactive drugs as there are Americans who drink booze every day. And the cannabis used today is far stronger than it was is the 1970s, containg more than 10 times as much THC now than it did back then. ( The psychoactive ingredient of cannabis is TetraHydroCannabinoil.)
Some of the effects of THC on the brain are a lowered IQ, an increased risk of psychosis, schizophrenia, paranoia, delusions, hallucianations, losing touch with reality, reduced cognition, impaired and false memories, and a hell of a lot of ‘neural noise’. THC also totally fucks the brain’s pleasure / reward systems, suppressing self control, leading to increased appetite for food, booze, sex, more drugs…..
Using marijuana has detrimental physical effects causing breathing problems, cardiovascular dangers, intense nausea and vomiting, weight issues. If a pregnant mother uses cannabis she is seriously damaging the foetus in her womb.
Marijuana users experience; lower life satisfaction, poor mental health, poorer physical health, and serious relationship issues. These effects are very long term / permanent, even if you are / were an occasional user of this insidious drug.
Personally I would never get involved with any marijuana user, or indeed anyone who abuses drugs of any kind. And, addicts of anything are infinitely more dangerous than someone who is clean and healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
Just a couple of examples of cannabis fuelled violence: #1 the Islamic terrorists who carried out a devastating attack on innocent passers-by on London Bridge on the 3rd of June 2017 were all habitual users of marijuana, #2 the despicable youth who deliberately drove into a young girl in Utah on Friday 31st of May this year was high on a mixture of cannabis, Xanax, and booze. He killed the 11 year old girl on purpose.
Some say that marijuana is a relatively harmless drug. And, that the weed never hurt anyone. All I know is that using marijuana means that someone is going to die an untimely death.
Growing this in England is illegal,
but nobody cares anymore.
A substitute is only ever second-best.
Some of the time I feel as though I’m a substitute for someone else. There is no substitute for true friendship or real love. Sadly, some think alcohol-fueled casual sex is the same thing.
she’s either getting drunk,
or looking for sex with a substitute for her regular partner,
Self-censorship is a lie to yourself;
one should never be afraid to say what you think.
I am a firm believer in not allowing the approval, or disapproval, of others to influence what one believes, thinks, says, writes, or does. I am also a liar, because today, yesterday, and for a few days / weeks / months before that I have not been true to my own beliefs.
My lies to you all are lies of omission, in that I am not prepared to tell you the whole truth about some things, and I am not prepared to tell you anything at all about some other things, and there are some things I will just completely deny. It seems that everyone has dark secrets, and everyone lies without thought.
As this is by way of a confessional I will tell you why I’m making this admission.
Today I was going to publish one of a few completed posts that I have just decided I shall never publish. These included;
- Sex, Lust, and Whores. Most women sell sex; most of them just don’t take money from everyone who wants them.
- Masturbation and Fetishes. Only boys masturbate, or so the myth goes, because a woman touching herself is immoral.
- Love Wars. Love and war, it seems, work by exactly the same rules.
- Goddess of Sexual Love. Sexual love is powerful, it can bring women to their knees.
- Casual Sex and Immorality. In an imperfect world you could fuck anyone and everyone without thinking about the consequences.
All the above posts I’ve irrevocably put into my trash were of a highly sexual nature, impinging upon the real truths of most interpersonal relationships.
The face is the mirror of the mind, and the eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. ~ St. Jerome.
Some say that evaluation of the truth is not an absolute, but a matter of piecing together bits of information to form a picture. And that most people’s idea of the truth is based on their preconceived ideas and prejudices. All know is that, sometimes, the real truth is best left unsaid.
the most common fetishes are depicted here
smoking, heels, stockings, submission, mystery, mastery
I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. ~ Mark Twain
Lust, Greed, and Addiction. These are deadly sins ~ deadly because lust, greed, and addiction can all drag you down to a rock-bottom more horrible than your worst nightmare, humiliate you, make you ill, and then kill you. Lust can give you all kinds of STD, take you to dangerous places, where you could meet some very nasty people. Greed can make you take risky decisions with money, accept all kinds of bad financial advice, and ultimately take every penny and asset you have, including your home. And addiction is more terribly dreadful than you could possibly imagine. If you are a woman, and addicted to anything, you will most likely do some sordid things just to feed your addiction.
It can all begin innocently enough, a date with a co-worker, regularly sitting at the bar in your favourite pub, losing a couple of hundred dollars in Las Vegas. But it may only be a matter of time before you’re the bum on the streets, or the easy slut sitting at the bar in your favourite pub, who’s just looking for a younger guy to fuck her like an animal.
The sad thing is, that once you’re on the train to destruction, there’s usually no getting off until the last stop. Almost everyone I’ve ever known who has taken that ride is now dead, often horribly so, well before their time should have been up. The list of illnesses and causes of death that lust, greed, and addiction will give you is long and horrific; insanity, renal failure, wet brain, suicide, pneumonia, cirrhosis, cardiovascular failure, cancers, accidents, gastrointestinal disorders, blood disorders, pancreatitis, malnutrition, AIDS, random violence, domestic violence, brutal rape, beriberi…..
What can you do if you have lots of casual sex, constantly think about ways of making money, gamble, drink too much and / or take drugs? Well, you can’t stop on your own. So get help before you are utterly rejected by everyone who cares for you. Try Alcoholic Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous….. It’s pointless going to your doctor, the average doctor is as much use helping with these problems as is a cement life jacket.
Some say that they drink, take drugs, gamble, make rash decisions, and have casual sex because of too much stress, worry, and fear. And that they could clean up their act anytime they like. All I know is that almost everyone is stressed, worried, and a little afraid, but they don’t all die an early, disgusting death.
just an easy slut, drinking alone, only one friend in the world, a barman
The heart and soul of a Renaissance Man is creativity.
Creativity, curiosity, honesty, openness, kindness, understanding ~ these things and honour are what separates a truly superior Renaissance Man from the common herd. There are a couple of other important attributes a superior man should possess in abundance; confidence and self-control ~ a Renaissance Man does not want, desire, nor need instant gratification to bolster his self-confidence. The confidence of a Renaissance Man is assured and will brook no criticisms.
A superior man is creative and innovative, and creativity means to actually create something, if there is no physical end-product then all you are doing is daydreaming. Almost everyone can daydream and come up with an idea or two, but few will go on to get those ideas down on paper, make a plan, and go on to create / build / make whatever it is the plan calls for, be it writing a book, creating a work of art, a boat, car, a tiny trailer, a kitchen, bathroom, or even a whole home. Almost everyone goes no further than having an idea, they never follow through and do something tangible. They are held back by a lack of confidence in themselves, laziness, fear, and the pressures of coping with a partner, family, friends, and coworkers. These are excuses, not reasons.
Other reasons for not actually doing something real, for going no further than daydreaming, are; lack of money, time pressures, lack of space, not knowing how to do whatever it is they think they want to do….. All of these are also just
fucking pathetic excuses. And then there are some other reasons people don’t do creative stuff; they drink too much, smoke too much, smoke pot, do street drugs, take too many unnecessary prescription and over-the-counter medications, gamble, spend too much time looking for cheap sex in bars……
Perhaps to be truly creative you first have to put your life in order. It’s a fallacy that booze and drugs will help your creativity ~ all those things will do is help you daydream, right up to the point where you pass out.
Creative living and creativity is available to all of us But how do we energise our creative abilities?
- Do something, even if it’s just baby steps. Make a start on your project, even if it’s just writing down your ideas. Get out of your comfort zone. Pick up whatever tools you need to work on your project, from a hammer, to a brush, to a tablet.
- Mindfullness. Be aware of ourselves, be aware of our environment, be in the moment.
- Fresh air, exercise, sunshine, movement in nature. Get off your ass and take some physical activity to energise your body. Most office workers do not move nearly enough during the day, and then they go home, sit on the sofa, and drink some booze in front of the TV.
- Stop taking yourself too seriously. Reawaken the inner child. Be prepared to make mistakes. Be playful.
Some say that serious people don’t have time to waste on being creative. And, that being mindful is just a ‘new-age’ gimmick. All I know is that a really cool Renaissance Man creates his own reality.
get out into nature
Knowing that you’ll push everyone away is tough to deal with.
Some people suffer. Some people are in constant mental, psychological, and spiritual pain. Those people may find themselves doing crazy and impulsive things, drinking too much, using drugs, getting into inappropriate and dysfunctional sexual relationships, pushing away everyone that truly cares for them, isolating themselves….. Those people may be suffering from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder ~ they may need professional help. They may act like a lunatic.
People with even mild Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), do very strange things; they test the people who care for them by doing things which are really socially unacceptable ~ for example constantly being late, flirting inappropriately, expecting and needing gifts lavished upon them. They have extreme reactions to the thought of being abandoned and / or rejected.
People with BPD have a propensity to enter into dysfunctional and unstable romantic and sexual relationships / have casual sex / cheat / commit adultery with monotonous regularity. They tell themselves their sexuality is normal. They are impulsive and have intense, highly changeable moods. Paranoia, anger, ennui, and emptiness all come easily to those who have even the mildest touch of BPD in their psyche.
They tell themselves that they like being alone in their comfort zone
Suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder is difficult, but the situation isn’t hopeless. Recovery is possible, growth is certain, becoming a better person is the eventual reward for all that suffering. I should know, I have been at the very Gates of Hell because for most of my life I suffered from undiagnosed and untreated BPD.
But now I know. I know what caused me to push people away from me all my life; it’s a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. If you don’t get close to people they can’t hurt you, and if you push someone away hard enough that they leave you, well that just means you were right about them all along…..
Knowing Exactly what’s wrong with you is very liberating. Knowing Exactly why you have suffered and are still suffering is even more liberating. And, I know Exactly why I developed Borderline Personality Disorder.
When I was about four-and-a-half years old, the woman who loved me most, the woman who cared for me, got sick and died. She was my nana, my maternal grandmother. And nobody told me that she’d died, my parents didn’t explain, there was a wall of silence, and I thought she’d abandoned me because I wasn’t good enough.
That one event blighted my whole life ~ until now.
Some say that it’s good to be mean to the one who loves you, because if they stay with you it proves that they love you. And, that if they leave you it proves that you were right to be mean to them all along. All I know is that only the mentally ill can like being alone and lonely.
You can get so that everything seems normal
even crazy, vicious, evil mood swings
even turning into a Mr. Hyde
In the end she will destroy everything, including herself.
of inner clairvoyance
poisonous darker choices
noisome joyless evil sacrifices
a dysfunctional friendship loveless
he is a lover, not a warrior, nor a sinner
go? leaving her behind, giving it all away?
sex, anger, voices, poisonous choices, paranoia
she can fully explore her sexuality
in the end he can just walk away