there’s a reason some women do that sometimes
I really didn’t think
she was always drinking
just usually very drunk
and high on skunk
and I shrank back
from ever thinking
about who she fucked
when she’d been drinking
strong drink gets weak women into trouble
a self-confident man is never afraid of an incredibly hot woman
all women wear a mask
but usually not there
I get jealous, I get mad, I get curious ~ that’s only because I care
jealousy is always, always, ultimately destructive
Yesterday I posted some stuff about Retroactive Jealousy, which seems to be the most disturbing, counter-intuitive, difficult to comprehend, painful psychological condition anyone could suffer from. Jealousy drove me to drink and thoughts of suicide. But, how to get over this life-destroying problem, just how does one recover from jealousy over your partner’s past?
Retroactive Jealousy is a serious mental disorder, which means that your jealousy is not really part of you, it’s your mental illness driving you into painfully insane thoughts and actions. Your jealousy may not be you, it might be obsessions and compulsions which arise from a medical disease, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.
Do not make the mistake of waiting passively for the jealousy, and the insane urges to do something crazy to just go away. By something crazy I mean getting drunk a lot, stalking your partner’s social media, spying on your partner, committing suicide….. If you suffer from retroactive jealousy the worst thing you can do is nothing ~ the most important thing is to do something, see a psychiatrist, talk to your sponsor in whatever 12 step group you attend, watch some appropriate podcasts on YouTube, read a useful book ~ Brain Lock might be helpful, as might The Road Less Travelled. DO NOT ever talk with your partner about this ~ that is the very worst thing you can do, it’s like an alcoholic taking just one more drink, there is no relief to be found there.
Talking with your partner about their past, the past that you suffer crazy jealousies about, is just another way of harming yourself ~ and in any event your partner will probably lie, deny, and minimise what they did in their past. There is no truth and no recovery to be found in talking things over with your partner.
To recover from retroactive jealousy you have to put in some very hard work. And the first step is to admit that you have a real and life-destroying problem. And then you have to consider Desire, Wants, Needs, and Love.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
The accepted prerequisite for anyone to suffer from Retroactive Jealousy is that they must both love and need their partner, or at least firmly believe that they both love and need their partner. There can be no retroactive jealousy unless you first deeply care about someone. Ergo, one sure cure for this horrible condition is to stop needing and loving him or her. Face it, why would you love someone who has done things which hurt you so deeply, perhaps things that disgust you? That really is counter intuitive, so to stop hurting, just stop loving.
Another way to cure retroactive jealousy is to just walk away ~ leave your partner, never look back, and then completely forget them. Mark the time you spent with him or her as the biggest mistake of your life, and move on.
Or, put yourself into months and years of really painful therapy.
How am I recovering from Retroactive Jealousy? I’ve stopped needing. The truly self-aware and self-reliant man has no neediness.
Some say that real men don’t suffer from jealousy. And that being jealous only shows up your own inadequacies. All I know is that the insanity of being jealous of the past almost killed me.
falling in love with a centerfold is maybe not the best idea a guy could ever have
nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people
nice guys sometimes fall for a vixen
If we assume that you’re not the hottest, sexiest, fittest man or woman on the planet, then how do you attract a date, build a relationship, or find a partner? Some guys and girls, despite their best efforts, have a lot of trouble attracting others.
Attraction is a very complex biological and psychological process, and it all happens in a few seconds. Within 30 seconds or so of meeting someone you will know if you are attracted to them or not, and so will they, and you will both know is there is any chemistry between the pair of you. Some relationships do develop over time, but that calls for two remarkable people.
Girls will be more attractive to men if they smile, whereas guys should hold off with that meaningless grin ~ save it for when you really have something to smile about. Women are attracted to serious, thoughtful, alpha males, and alpha males don’t wear an inane grin.
Sadly, your body type is the most important thing about you when it comes to your attractiveness to the other sex. Women prefer taller men with with a hunter body type, broad shoulders, deep chest, and slim hips. A beer belly is a huge turn off for most women. Men are conditioned to prefer women with a slimmer waist and obvious curves. Women who are 20 pounds overweight will find it much harder to attract another, than will a slimmer girl. This is good news for women, because all they need to do to make themselves much more attractive is to lose weight, (but wearing tall heels makes a woman look as though she’s slimmer, and most men find stiletto heels very sexy.) It’s very bad news for men, because it’s almost impossible for a guy to become taller. However men should always stand tall, don’t ever slouch or become round-shouldered, keep a straight back, pull that gut in, and clench your butt cheeks ~ and you might just look a bit taller.
You might think that you are in control when it comes to attraction, desire, lust, love ~ but you’re not. It’s your subconsciousness that’s running things when it comes to the opposite sex, and your subconscious is as primitive and powerful as a mountain gorilla. Unless you work hard at it, then attraction is just hormones and the automatic subconscious rules and programs that control your behaviour 95% of the time.
The basics of attraction are; smell good, look as good as you possibly can, (wear something red), don’t be needy, be interested and interesting, and if there’s no chemistry after a couple of minutes then perhaps just walk away and find someone else.
Some say that your attractiveness to the opposite sex is all about looks. And that you can’t turn a needy jerk into James Bond. All I know is that if there’s no instant desire, then it’s probably never going to happen.
women look much slimmer and a lot sexier in stiletto heels
she learned to run from what she feels, right into a nightmare
she left her job in an office
bought herself a Mustang
now she’s dealing blackjack
in the bright lights of Las Vegas
turning tricks on Saturday nights
she wants to leave Las Vegas
make an end to the nightmares
they say suicide is painless
she needs to be alone tonight
what happens in Vegas
stays in your memories forever
once we were lovers, but somehow things have changed
doesn’t take a genius
that it’s all in the past
and you know
it wasn’t supposed to last
but one more throw
of loaded dice wasn’t to suffice
to tell me although
I should never have even asked
if she had felt love’s glow
and the answer was always no
she was just a stimulating aphrodisiac
goddess of sexual love
A substitute is only ever second-best.
Some of the time I feel as though I’m a substitute for someone else. There is no substitute for true friendship or real love. Sadly, some think alcohol-fueled casual sex is the same thing.
she’s either getting drunk,
or looking for sex with a substitute for her regular partner,
Booze, the cause of, and the answer to, all of life’s problems.
Some people believe that the most reliable way to have fun is to drink to excess. They believe that to go into a bar, or to go to a party, and not drink at least a half-dozen beers or a whole bottle of wine is incomprehensible. And for some, wine, beer, and spirits are all the same, the key is the alcohol. All booze is to be consumed until they feel that buzz, feel like they’re having fun, slurring their words, and knock over a glass.
Go into some bars, particularly airport bars, or any bar in the USA, and you will see women sitting at the bar, usually among a group of men, laughing at risque jokes, watching sports TV, their faces shiny from too much booze. As predatory as any younger man, of which there will be a lot around any woman. If anyone’s drinking Long Island Iced Tea, then they really want to get shit-faced.
No pub is without its regulars, who all have their regular spot, and usual ‘friends’who will comment if they miss a session or two.
In airports, railway stations, shopping malls, and strange towns, real drinkers will either know where there is a good bar or make it their priority to find one. Real boozers will think nothing of striking up an intimate conversation with whomsoever they may find sitting at the bar, and possibly proceed to tell them stuff they wouldn’t ever tell their partner or closest friends. Sometimes they have no idea where they are when they wake up, maybe in the morning.
Older people tend to do their drinking at home, sitting in their favourite chair, maybe watching something asinine on Netflix, steadily knocking back their preferred tipple until they realise they should go to bed, or they make stupid ‘phone calls, or post sexual stuff online, or just fall asleep / pass out in their chair.
You can always tell a boozer. They will be overweight with a lot of unsightly belly-fat, they will turn up at work late in the clothes they wore yesterday, their hands may shake in the mornings, probably they are smokers / gamblers / sexually promiscuous, their trash will always be full of empty bottles, and their car will often be found outside their regular pub / bar.
Some women say that they like beer, bikers, and rock music. And that there’s nothing in their past that they regret. All I know is that it’s best to avoid that sort of female.
A real English pub,
where you will never find a nice girl sitting at the bar.
Booze is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I’m English, but I’ve spent time in bars in most of the major cities in Europe and the United States. You know that you’re spreading it a little widely when you walk into a bar in say ~ New York, just off Madison Avenue, and the barman knows immediately that you drink a stirred vodka martini, or several.
I’ve spent far too much time in bars exactly like the one in this song, except there was usually a slightly inebriated woman sitting at the bar trying to get picked up for casual sex. Sad really. And the piano man was never as good as Billy Joel.
I don’t pick up women in bars,
and I don’t have casual sex.
.….you should stop being so carnal, and learn to say no to men. ~ Adelaja
animal anxiety ardour
benefits bitch bitterness
carnal courtesan covet
desire discontent distrust
eagerness ecstacy excitement
feelings fervour fuck
grope grasp grudge
harlot heat hussy
indignation insanity intensity
jaundiced jealousy tight jeans
karma kept kindness
libido love lust
madness mania mistrust
nonsensical nymphet nymphomaniac
obscene orgasmic outrage
paroxysm passion pleasure
rancour risqué romantic
screw sexuality shag slut
tart tolerance tramp
umbrage unhappiness urban-survival
vamp vixen vulgar
wanting whore welcoming
zeal zest zygote
she has animal demons inside her innocently carnal eyes
stroking her leg in public
some carnal women like that