Shocking moment #3 ~ women like porn.
I was utterly shocked to discover that some women like porn. This is not porn.
sometimes monochrome curves satisfy
Love can be the infinite curse of a true heart.
If you believe that you love someone, then there’s no rhyme or reason about the way you think, feel, or behave. All of your various emotional and happiness chemicals just take over. Scientists say that there are 4 sets of these; dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and the endorphins which accentuate the effects of everything else. But, you have to add to that a whole bunch of other mind – brain – body stuff happening when you think you’re in love ~ such as an adrenaline rush every now and again. Add to that not eating, not sleeping, and drinking too much, and no wonder we get messed up when we believe we are in love, (or we are consumed by desire).
Our own default subconscious personality type also has a big part to play. For most of my life I suffered from an intense fear of abandonment caused by a serious psychological illness called Borderline Personality Disorder. This fear of abandonment thing either makes you utterly destroy a relationship you’re in, or hang on to a dysfunctional relationship long past the point you should have called it a day and walked away.
So this deep interest in / deep affection for / sexual desire for a particular person caused me no end of problems, because none of it was real. Multiply that by several women over time and you can see how a polite and generous Englishman could become seriously screwed up. And ‘screwed up’ is putting it very mildly.
If I tried I could probably work out how much these false love affairs / relationships / marriage had cost me in time, money and lost opportunities, but being a banker I’ll make a stab at how much ‘being in love’ has cost me in hard cash over the years. Roughly, to the nearest $100,000 ~ about $2.75 million. Thinking I was in love, with the wrong woman, has cost me more than most people will earn in a lifetime.
And what did I get in return? Bad sex.
Ah well, t’was ever thus. A fool and his money are soon parted.
you would think I should have learned my lesson by now
enchanted lust is as a candle under a dark moon
hard as stone
dry as a bone
far as the moon
she left me alone
the enchantress crone
dangerous women attract me
I suffer an abnormal fear of abandonment
The harder I try, the better I get.
I may never ride bareback again ~ it’s much harder than it looks.
Please watch and listen responsibly.
If you want to be a better man,
try reading M. Scott Peck’s ,
If you want me, just whistle. You know how to whistle don’t you…..
You are the one
unique and singular
more beautiful to me than
a rainbow in its serried colours
wild, free, and hotter than the sun
romancing you and my life just began
strange, crazy, weird, erotic, feral, and fun
come and ride the river, come ride the moon
lovely, lithe, lissom, languid, lascivious, lust
The women we’re not supposed to have are the most irresistible.
Some women are literally almost irresistible to some men, and if you’re a guy that’s scary….. And usually the best thing you can do is get far away from her, as soon as possible. I can practically guarantee you that if you find a woman irresistible you’re going to end up broken and burned and wishing you could forget her. And you know what? You never will.
Maybe I’ll live so long I’ll forget her. Maybe I’ll die trying. ~
The Lady from Shanghai
But what makes a woman irresistible to a man? I’d like to say it depends, but mostly it doesn’t. And it isn’t all about looks, although the way she looks is important. Some of the things that can make a woman irresistible to a guy are;
- She knows what she wants, and she’ll do just about anything to get it.
- She has a sophisticated and cultured outlook on life, including her sense of humour, conversation, dress sense, makeup, and manners.
- She’s direct, forthright, and down to earth, quite prepared to call a spade a fecking shovel if she needs to.
- She is fit and healthy, preferably an ideal weight for her height, she has some muscle definition, and she knows how to walk well.
- Sexually she’s not only damn good, she’s also passionate, adventurous, and funny.
- She doesn’t spend all her time on social media when she is supposed to be with you.
- She doesn’t ever flirt with other guys when she’s supposed to be with you.
- She doesn’t expect you to get to know and like her family or friends.
- She never, ever talks about her past and her ex lovers.
- In some strange way she has that indefinable magic that makes her utterly charming.
- She likes kissing you, and she kissed you first.
I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. ~ Humphrey Bogart
And let’s face it….. most women are irresistible to most men anyway, no matter what.
Some say that what a women likes most in a man is that he’s tall, funny, well-behaved, and attentive. And that good manners go a long way to making a woman like a guy. All I know is that money changes everything.
It’s fun to be rich
you get to meet all kinds of unsuitable women
If you can’t find sex under a blue sky, you can’t find it anywhere.
sunshine good times
high clear deep bluest sky
new friends open conversations
food wine music party suntanned girls
strolling sightseeing swimming sunbathing
dancing talking kissing friends romance love sex
late summer Mediterranean vacation’s fond memories
seem mostly of fleeting romance, transient love, casual sex
not that casual sex on vacation is to be approved of
In romance and love I want so much that I aim too high.
and then the cold winds of reality shattered my dreams
destroyed every desire and denied my expectations
she listened to my love’s pointless declarations
grim darkness came to a relationships end
knowing controlling power was hers
she held my heart in her hands
believe a witch’s promise
take the witch’s kiss
enter the abyss
and be lost
She is the darkly mysterious sorceress whom the ravens name Lenore
Wherever I go, I always find that special person who is so wrong for me.
In the world’s largest financial centres, I spent most of my career making a hell of a lot of money by exploiting my knowledge of people and what makes them tick. In London, Paris, New York, and Chicago I learned to read people, and know what they really want, need, and desire. My skill was in matching the things I could do with what my clients thought they wanted. And, for a long while, I was the acknowledged world expert in my field of esoteric banking. But, really, my success was all due to the way I could use my interpersonal skills.
If I am so skilled at the art of interpersonal relationships, how come I can get it so wrong with women? Some of the time I am forceful, passionate, prideful, self-indulgent, sensual, lustful, and too warm towards women who possess grace, beauty, and charm. If I am very attracted to a woman I can be far too liberal with my affection, compassion, time, love, and money. I tend to do a little too much by way of extravagances, and luxuries. Maybe I send flowers too often. And, as you would expect, sometimes these women take everything I can give without the slightest show of gratitude, appreciation, or affection in return.
A fool and his money are soon parted, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. ~ Thomas Tusser
Obviously I am not doing the right things, in the right way, at the right time, with the right person. There isn’t the right balance, or sense of equilibrium. And there’s the rub ~ we don’t choose who we fall in love with.
Something tells me that self-confidence, strength, and passion are a heady mixture which is not always under my control ~ I often let my emotions run away with me, and this can only lead to loneliness and heartache.
My past has been marred by decisions I made that have left me feeling disappointed and bitter. It’s important for me to remember that I am accountable for my decisions. What I need to do is reflect on those past choices in a frank and healthy way, without looking at the past through rose-coloured glasses, or sugar coating the choices I made in error. I have made many bad choices, which then turned out very differently from the way I had hoped.
At times this has caused me much pain, worry, wasted time, and wasted money. Perhaps I fool myself that I always tried to do my best, and that I always had good intentions at heart ~ but I don’t think so. I did my best with the cards Life dealt me, but somehow things always took unexpected turns.
There may have been doubts in my heart which I ignored. I was careless, and not always honest with myself. I have often acted impulsively, with utter disregard for the consequences. I have had the feeling of being utterly out of my depth, and I usually pressed on regardless.
Some say that we can only learn by our own mistakes. And, that we don’t fail by falling down, we fail by staying down. All I know is that I’ve made some bloody painful mistakes.
If there’s nothing much about sex in the paragraphs I’ve written above ~ that’s because usually there hasn’t been any.
Exactly the sort of woman I should have never been involved with. Great legs do not necessarily a nice person make.
The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.
In the past couple of weeks I have had the fabled luck of a sailor being followed by an albatross, (never, ever, shoot the albatross). Something has carved out a window to let me see who I truly am, and allowed me to start to take control of my fate. But, it’s also enabled me to surrender to the will of the cosmos ~ working with natural energies to empower my body, mind, and spirit to true and lasting enlightenment.
I shot the ALBATROSS…..
I had done a hellish thing, and it would work ’em woe: for all averred I had killed the bird, that made the breeze to blow. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
These changes in me are never going to be some quick way to amass a fortune, (I don’t need to), or find an easy way out of life’s problems. Instead, taking control of my fate allows me to discover the interconnectedness of all things that binds us and the cosmos together, and creates the web of infinite circumstances, places, and people that allows me to walk the warrior’s path.
You know what? I am excited about all this enlightened thinking that seems to have taken over my psyche. However, whatever wisdom or enlightenment I have suddenly gained access to is more than a little bit complicated and confusing for an ordinary Englishman such as I.
I know that this is a positive and strong time of decisive action for me, and I need to harness all the determination I can muster. I firmly believe that, in the next few days I will need to take some action that is critical to the shape of my future. The snag is, right now I have no idea what that action is supposed to be. I’ve got no idea what I most need to do, except that it’s going to be a balancing act between passion and practicality.
So, I’m already working on my general health and fitness ~ walking everywhere, breathing plenty of clean and fresh sea air, and detoxifying my life of crap and negative influences.
I have a feeling that I also need to work on better friendships and more meaningful and mindful connections. I need to give more attention to particular special people in my life. I should build greater self-worth through more integrity, more confidence, better and more authentic interpersonal relationships.
I should be shrewder in my choices of friends and the type of friendships I want, need, and desire. But, being a shrewd operator does not mean that I would ever be underhand or less than utterly honest about how I nurture my friends and friendships, or be dishonest in how I choose the people I wish to associate with.
Some say that communication skills is an art we go on learning throughout our life. And, that interpersonal relationships never stop being a work in progress. All I know is that sometimes we only say to others what we ourselves need to hear.
Sometimes a man just has to howl at the moon.
just remember, interpersonal relationships can be dark….. and as deep and strange as still waters.
And, choices rule your life.