you don’t lie to the person that you love
she was carnal
and I truly adored her
I never knew the real woman
she walked on eggshells around me
why do I adore a false chimera, an avatar?
and she never tells the truth
’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all
this is what becomes
ashes to ashes
iron to rust to dust
love to hot lust
strong sexual fires
knowing he must
possess her always
perverted sexual possession
disgusts the right-thinking man
it takes strength and courage to admit the whole truth
You may be aware that in the last few days I have undergone something of a transformation, and it seems the man I have become has a dedication to truth, honesty, and openness. That is not necessarily a completely good thing. Already I have found that there are innumerable situations where complete honesty wouldn’t be appropriate. If someone is promulgating a web of lies about who and what they really are, it seems to me that it’s better if I ignore all that, keep quiet, and allow them to live their life of sad, dishonest, illusions, and delusions.
Hell, for all of my life I lived as versions of me that were only mostly true. That was not my fault, maternal neglect can have a negative effect on your whole life.
If someone wants to hide what they did in their past, and never mention the reprehensible things they have done to give the impression that they are someone and something that they are not and never have been, then maybe it’s better that I ignore that too. After all, if someone is mostly hiding their past, then it means they don’t want others to know about it, including me.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped and packaged boxes full of fucking shit.
In general, if someone is hiding their past it either means they are ashamed of it, or scared of your reaction if they tell you about it. Hiding or denying your past doesn’t work, because sometime, somewhere, someday, somehow you will come up against someone who knows all about you. And the chances are they will tell your new and innocent friend just exactly who and what you used to be ~ either by accident or on purpose.
There are lots of reasons people hide or deny their past, or even who they really are right now; alcoholism, criminality, unpaid debts, drug taking, promiscuity, prostitution, sexual deviance, marriage, children….. But, all of these things are matters of public record, and you can hide none of the above for very long.
I will throw out one piece of advice, don’t lie to me unless you’re absolutely certain I will never find the truth. And even in the days of my crazy alter-egos of myself, I always found the truth.
Mean and toxic people don’t bother me. Mean and toxic people who disguise themselves as nice and honest people bother me a lot. ~ Cindy Cummings Johnson
Some say that everybody lies. And that if someone is hiding their past, then they must have a damn good reason. All I know is that liars need a very good memory, and most people have very poor memories.
every time you tell another lie you handcuff yourself just a little tighter
sometimes smoking is a highly sexual act
most will find this picture erotic
it wasn’t her fault it was mine, for believing every word she said
love is like a dream
honest true and fine
until it becomes a nightmare
suspicion dishonesty betrayal
booze drugs promiscuity
hurt paranoia jealousy
revenge unforgiven pain
sadness to never love again
unless until reconciliation
if you’ve ever been betrayed by the one you love, then you know it hurts
it’s easy to have sex without love, but hard to have love without sex
Love is either a wonderful thing; the best thing that’s even happened to you ~ or it’s a disaster akin to a psychological disorder such as repeated suicide attempts. One thing is clear, that when love hits you, it’s like being hit by a runaway freight train. For good or ill, love will change your life completely. But then, so will sex. Aside from a one night stand of casual fucking, sex comes in several forms; desire, lust, infatuation, incest, eroticism, BDSM, fascination, passion, possessiveness, prostitution, pornography….. None of those has anything to do with real love, and all are momentary, fleeting, temporary.
Sex is the ultimate instant gratification, wanting someone and having casual sex with them will / should make you feel great, but that feeling will never last for long. Which is why some, especially mature married women, the archetypal MILF, can be very promiscuous. It’s why some women continually buy lots of new shoes, or use drugs, or post erotic pictures of themselves on the internet, or have a string of affairs ~ they are just jonesing, chasing after that moment of intense pleasure. It’s why men get addicted to pornography.
If they didn’t have it before, people who indulge in this kind of behaviour will have low self-esteem, lack self-confidence, have no true sense of identity, and most likely drink far too much and use the ‘softer’ drugs. Seeking this kind of ‘love’ might give you successful moments, but it is no basis for a successful life. In fact, in the long run, this kind of behaviour will ruin your life.
On the other hand, real and sustainable love can appear unexciting and less cool than fucking a different person every week, but do not be fooled by appearances. This is what you need to create a truly successful and happy life. It is what you feel in meaningful relationships ~ those relationships where you truly connect with, accept, and understand both yourself and the object of your affections. Developing and living in those relationships can be difficult ~ it’s very easy to get fucked by someone you’ve just met in a pub, especially for a woman. It’s more difficult to live in love for month after month, year after year. The temptation to walk away from a deep and meaningful relationship is often in the air, but perseverance is richly rewarded.
To have a meaningful, long-term, loving relationship requires one thing that most people can’t or will not do, and that is to be honest. You need to be honest, open and trusting ~ and not only with your partner, but with yourself too. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I have met who are truly honest with themselves and with others. To use a hackneyed quotation ‘Everybody Lies’.
Some say that they are very much in love, but sleep with a different person every week, or more often than that. And that casual affairs don’t ever count, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. All I know is that for two people in love the Cosmos is a wonderful place to be.
this is most likely lust in a pub
followed by casual sex in a car
sometimes, like now, I’m spreading myself a little bit thin
alone again, naturally
The last few days have a reminder to me that; when I’m good, I’m far too good for my own good. The very cool gentleman at the core of my true persona is kind, generous, supportive, understanding, and totally taken for granted ~ especially by women. Some women seem to think that if a guy is kind, generous, supportive, and understanding, then they don’t have to try very hard to keep him hanging around at their beck and call. On the other hand some women will do almost anything to keep a real bastard in their lives.
I have no intention of turning into a real bastard, but neither am I going to live on the crumbs that some people seem to think will keep me enraptured enough to sick around.
I am reminded of the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola;
to give and not to count the cost
to fight and not to heed the wounds
to toil and not to seek for rest
to labour and not to ask for any reward
Well, I am no plaster saint, and although from time to time those words could have been an accurate description of parts of my life, I’m walking away from all that.
Some also seem to believe that a man’s friendship and love should be courtly and unconditional ~ which is not how women operate at all. In general women are hard-wired to get everything they possibly can from a man, with as little cost to themselves as they can get away with. In general a hell of a lot of women are just an inch away from being a real bitch.
I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~ Madonna
Love songs, love stories, romantic tales of the knights of yore, all talk about the man who will love a woman more than life, unconditionally and eternally, and then they live happily ever after together. Only in reality it doesn’t happen like that. A really good man might give his all to a woman unconditionally, only to have to watch her walk off into the sunset with some real bad boy. I have been on the losing side of that more than once.
And some women truly do give their friendship, kindness, understanding, and support, asking little in return, other than reliability, steadfastness, and courtly love.
Okay, that’s the end of today’s hurt. And, at least I have one very good and loyal female friend, although she does live about 5,000 miles away.
Some say that when a man loves a woman he should love her unconditionally. And that a man should give his all to any woman who has befriended him. All I know is that I have never made promises lightly, but whatever promises I have made are just about to get broken.
sometimes survival is all you have
only the moon and stars know
where you got those pretty blue eyes
I know a woman who has the the blue eyes of an angel, I wish that I understood her, but maybe that isn’t for mortal man.
Once I wrote a poem entitled a witch with angel eyes.
Please listen responsibly
never look into her eyes at midnight
else you are doomed to love her
love is when everyone thinks you’re crazy, but you don’t care
True love, real love, love, admiration, infatuation, insane desire ~ what we call loves comes in a rainbow kaleidoscope of colours and carries along with it every emotion known to mankind and the Gods. And some of those emotions can be powerful and hurtful; lust, jealousy, paranoia, despair, desire, depression, anger….. Love isn’t always pink clouds and faerie princesses. Sometimes love is a dark forest filled with dragons and wicked witches.
But you don’t ever choose who to love ~ love chooses you, and love is as fickle and dangerous as anything that ever came out of Pandora’s Box. You might just see her smile, or the way she speaks, or the way she walks, and then you’re lost in love, ready and willing for her to turn your heart to burned ashes and your nights to dark introspective vigils of regret.
There are some circumstances that make long-term love almost impossible, for example; she is already married, she is married and is dating other guys as well as you, she lives half a world away from you, she’s a slut who will sleep with anyone and does, she has a very active on-line sex life, she is far too young or far too old for you, she has a serious problem like alcoholism or drug addiction, her dysfunctional family has first call on her time all the time, she sees you as a bank that’s always open, she works in the sex industry, she’s a thief, she is utterly incapable of feeling real love herself….. It’s not that I have ever had a relationship that’s had those issues ~ not all of them at the same time anyway.
If you’re in a relationship with a woman who has even a couple of those relationship problems, then perhaps you’re in love with the wrong woman. And, if you’re in love with the wrong woman, then maybe sometime or other you have to find a way to make it without her. Or it could be that she has all or most of those issues, but she is still the right woman for you, and you know that you will go on loving her ~ no matter what. In that case a man is setting off on a long dark hard road that maybe will never lead to a happy ending ~ just heartaches and eventual regrets. But for the sake of all the Gods, never ask that woman to marry you ~ she might just say ‘Yes’.
Some say that true love conquers all. And that if you really love her, then you should go on loving her, no matter what. All I know is that it’s over when you say goodbye.
a fabulous ass, great legs, and an erotic manicure doesn’t necessarily mean that she is the right woman for you
I love you just the way you are
A true friend doesn’t want to change you, a real friend likes you for who you are, and a true love will always love, you no matter what.
Please listen responsibly.
never try to change perfection