Booze, the cause of, and the answer to, all of life’s problems.

Long Island Iced Tea

Some people believe that the most reliable way to have fun is to drink to excess.  They believe that to go into a bar, or to go to a party, and not drink at least a half-dozen beers or a whole bottle of wine is incomprehensible.  And for some, wine, beer, and spirits are all the same, the key is the alcohol.  All booze is to be consumed until they feel that buzz, feel like they’re having fun, slurring their words, and knock over a glass.

Go into some bars, particularly airport bars, or any bar in the USA, and you will see women sitting at the bar, usually among a group of men, laughing at risque jokes, watching sports TV, their faces shiny from too much booze.  As predatory as any younger man, of which there will be a lot around any woman.  If anyone’s drinking Long Island Iced Tea, then they really want to get shit-faced.

No pub is without its regulars, who all have their regular spot, and usual ‘friends’who will comment if they miss a session or two.

In airports, railway stations, shopping malls, and strange towns, real drinkers will either know where there is a good bar or make it their priority to find one.  Real boozers will think nothing of striking up an intimate conversation with whomsoever they may find sitting at the bar, and possibly proceed to tell them stuff they wouldn’t ever tell their partner or closest friends.  Sometimes they have no idea where they are when they wake up, maybe in the morning.

Older people tend to do their drinking at home, sitting in their favourite chair, maybe watching something asinine on Netflix, steadily knocking back their preferred tipple until they realise they should go to bed, or they make stupid ‘phone calls, or post sexual stuff online, or just fall asleep / pass out in their chair.

You can always tell a boozer.  They will be overweight with a lot of unsightly belly-fat, they will turn up at work late in the clothes they wore yesterday, their hands may shake in the mornings, probably they are smokers / gamblers / sexually promiscuous, their trash will always be full of empty bottles, and their car will often be found outside their regular pub / bar.

Some women say that they like beer, bikers, and rock music.  And that there’s nothing in their past that they regret.  All I know is that it’s best to avoid that sort of female.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

A real English pub,

where you will never find a nice girl sitting at the bar.