a self-confident man is never afraid of an incredibly hot woman
all women wear a mask
but usually not there
nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people
nice guys sometimes fall for a vixen
If we assume that you’re not the hottest, sexiest, fittest man or woman on the planet, then how do you attract a date, build a relationship, or find a partner? Some guys and girls, despite their best efforts, have a lot of trouble attracting others.
Attraction is a very complex biological and psychological process, and it all happens in a few seconds. Within 30 seconds or so of meeting someone you will know if you are attracted to them or not, and so will they, and you will both know is there is any chemistry between the pair of you. Some relationships do develop over time, but that calls for two remarkable people.
Girls will be more attractive to men if they smile, whereas guys should hold off with that meaningless grin ~ save it for when you really have something to smile about. Women are attracted to serious, thoughtful, alpha males, and alpha males don’t wear an inane grin.
Sadly, your body type is the most important thing about you when it comes to your attractiveness to the other sex. Women prefer taller men with with a hunter body type, broad shoulders, deep chest, and slim hips. A beer belly is a huge turn off for most women. Men are conditioned to prefer women with a slimmer waist and obvious curves. Women who are 20 pounds overweight will find it much harder to attract another, than will a slimmer girl. This is good news for women, because all they need to do to make themselves much more attractive is to lose weight, (but wearing tall heels makes a woman look as though she’s slimmer, and most men find stiletto heels very sexy.) It’s very bad news for men, because it’s almost impossible for a guy to become taller. However men should always stand tall, don’t ever slouch or become round-shouldered, keep a straight back, pull that gut in, and clench your butt cheeks ~ and you might just look a bit taller.
You might think that you are in control when it comes to attraction, desire, lust, love ~ but you’re not. It’s your subconsciousness that’s running things when it comes to the opposite sex, and your subconscious is as primitive and powerful as a mountain gorilla. Unless you work hard at it, then attraction is just hormones and the automatic subconscious rules and programs that control your behaviour 95% of the time.
The basics of attraction are; smell good, look as good as you possibly can, (wear something red), don’t be needy, be interested and interesting, and if there’s no chemistry after a couple of minutes then perhaps just walk away and find someone else.
Some say that your attractiveness to the opposite sex is all about looks. And that you can’t turn a needy jerk into James Bond. All I know is that if there’s no instant desire, then it’s probably never going to happen.
women look much slimmer and a lot sexier in stiletto heels
A firm sense of right and wrong isn’t fashionable these days.
It seems that unless I always agree with what others think, say, and do ~ then I’m wrong, bad, reactionary, and backward. Worse than that, if I happen to think that what other people have done isn’t necessarily ethical or sensible, then somehow I’m attacking them. I’m not, I just disagree.
Look at what the majority of people are saying and doing, and do the exact opposite, and you’ll probably never go wrong for as long as you live. ~ Earl Nightingale.
Thinking and doing the opposite of what the majority is doing or has done isn’t about being different for the sake of being different. There are lots of times that agreeing with everyone else is the right thing to do. There are lots of times when the well-trodden path is the right one for me to take.
The challenge for me is to know when to take the road less travelled.
Thinking, saying, and doing the opposite of what others would have me do is quite likely to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s scary, lonely, and exposes me to the harshest criticisms. It’s never easy to be seen to be going against the grain, and ignoring the attitudes and advice of my friends, family, and wider society. But, I’m used to being uncomfortable and the odd one out.
I feel no need to justify my ethics, attitudes, and actions ~ no matter the slings and arrows of discontent thrown against me.
Doing the exact opposite of the norm, or refusing to change who and what I am, does not always achieve the results, goals, and dreams I want. But, I have discovered that just repeating what others do, or agreeing with what others think, doesn’t always work either.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein.
There are some people it would be much easier to always agree with. It would probably make me much happier just to agree with them and go along with what they like.
It isn’t going to happen.
Some say that it’s good to be liberated and do whatever you like regardless of the consequences. And, that if you don’t agree with the latest and most fashionable opinion, then you’re wrong and reactionary. All I know is that I have the strongest possible self-awareness and self-discipline, and I’m happy with that.
sometimes, a real man needs to take the road less travelled
I have come to believe that the shape of the Earth cannot be proven. ~ Albert Einstein
Following on from my post earlier in the week about self-deluded people who believe in a flat Earth, here’s a song about a woman who seems to believe that the Earth isn’t round.
When it comes to believing in very strange theories, it’s almost always a woman.
Please listen responsibly.
well, there you go
the Earth is round, after all
Remember your dreams and desires, and fight for them, no matter what.
Following on from my post on The Myth of Sin, it is obvious to me that the established religions, especially the Catholic Church, fear strong, independent, liberated, sexual women. The clergy also fear real, mature women ~ else why would they so often get into serious trouble for homosexual relationships, underage sex, and sexually assaulting choirboys.
If the church and a majority of fearful men had their way, women would have remained uneducated, oppressed, repressed, undignified, deprived of their freedom, robbed of their independent thoughts, and be allowed to speak only on sufferance. I firmly believe this is because the church is afraid of the power of women, and a majority of pathetic men are just afraid of women in every way imaginable.
Men know than women are more centered, more serene, more patient, more emotional than they can ever be. They know that women are more resistant to disease, she will live longer, she is more resilient than any man. Because of all this, and because of her beauty, she can fulfill a man’s life immensely. A woman can complete a man’s life like a lock completes a key. And this makes weak men afraid because deep down they know that a woman is more than they are. A strong mature woman will choose the most beautiful but the most dangerous path of emotions, sentiments, moods ~ a man, any man, will tend to choose the straight line path to his wants, needs, and desires. Men tend to choose the shortcuts in Life.
Even the arts have been dominated by men, which is criminal because the strong right brains of women allow them to be far more artistic and creative than the linear Yes / No brain of a man. Had they not been repressed, how many female DaVinci, Michelangelo, or Shakespeare might there have been? Through the ages the artistic establishment, just like the church, the business world….. have all prevented women from achieving their true potential.
The life of women has been corrupted by fearful men telling them things that are not true, making women a slave to men, reducing women to second-class citizens in society. Weak men try to make women absolutely inferior, vulnerable, and dependent ~ and perhaps only begin to treat a woman well when they want sex from her.
Today I am fortunate. I am no longer afraid of women, and I see them as more than my equal, but different from me. Any women can be as intelligent as me, but her intelligence is different from mine, and I welcome that. I no feel no need to manipulate women and change them into something that is not a real, mature, capable, independent woman at all.
the type of women who makes weak men afraid and lustful
Sexual Jealousy, that dangerous dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.
Sexual jealousy is being upset, angry, bitter, resentful, and depressed because someone who you profess to love has been unfaithful, or seems interested in another person, or was involved with others in the past, or you imagine that they are, or were. It isn’t real ~ sexual jealousy is actually caused by insecurity, fear, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.
My friends, and especially my women friends, used to suffer terribly from my irrational jealousies. My jealousy wasn’t so much fun for me either, it did nothing for me except to make me unhappy and encourage me to get drunk. My jealousy may have been unpleasant for others, but it was an absolute torment for me. Being a miserable, resentful, angry, jealous drunk isn’t marked anywhere on the road to happiness and serenity, but it’s a major waypoint on the road to coming face to face with your own personal, terrifying dragon.
Yet, I was only tormenting myself in fear of being hurt and tormented by someone I thought I cared for ~ if you truly care for someone then jealousy has no place in your heart. Ergo, I did not really care for, far less love, any women I became jealous over. In fact, the best I could say is that I was infatuated. Any man who becomes infatuated over a woman does not value himself, and I was even worse than that, back then I didn’t even like myself.
Men and women are jealous in different ways, and for different reasons ~ typically men will become jealous because of a perceived threat to their ego, masculinity, sexual dominance, and existing relationship. However, women generally become jealous because of the threat to their existing relationship, and not because of their potentially bruised ego.
Any action taken as a result of sexual jealousy is likely to be extremely destructive ~ it will do nothing towards repairing your relationship, nor will it foster a greater understanding between you and your partner. On the contrary, in my case any woman I was involved with would always feel that she was walking on eggshells, and be afraid to be herself in case my jealousy spilled over in to judgementalism, leading to my attacking her verbally and in writing.
Some say that there is never any benefit in being jealous. And, don’t get jealous, just get even. All I know is that if your partner has really done something bad enough to make you insanely jealous, then it’s time you just walked away from that failed relationship.
Angry, Abusive, Controlling, Confrontational, Distrustful, Hate, Insecurities, Intolerant, Possessive, Resentful, Sarcastic, Selfish,
and Fucking Dangerous.
you never change your life until you step outside of your comfort zone
We all of us have safe routines and habits that almost never change. Most small teddy bears are afraid of the sea. Most people are a little afraid of the new, the strange, and the different.
Every day we go to work, we dress in the same clothes in the same style, we eat the same food. Our circle of friends pretty much never changes. We visit our parents at the weekend, and we spend the rest of each weekend doing almost the same things we did last weekend. We have our favourite seat at the bar in our usual pub, and our favourite type of booze to drink at home.
That picture is intensified if we have a partner, because not only do we live within our own comfort zone, we also feel that we have to live within theirs. Actually, some people do have to live well within their partner’s comfort zone, because to do otherwise would invite dire consequences.
Mostly we do not invite new and different experiences into our lives. Often we judge others harshly for sometimes doing things differently, and for stepping outside what we think is their role in our lives. Often we resent that people we know, our family and friends, for seeking to expand their own horizons, find new opportunities, seek out new experiences, and try to find new friends and lovers.
It’s sort of OK for you to resent it if people you know are trying to find something new in their lives ~ something that doesn’t necessarily involve you. All of us suffer from a fear of abandonment to one extent or another, and resenting someone close to you if they try to find new horizons is merely an unconscious expression of that fear of abandonment. But get over it. Just because your friend is looking for new friends doesn’t mean they are going to leave you behind ~ unless you’ve really pissed them off. Who knows? Your friend’s new friends may become your friends too.
You know what? It’s all about you. Welcome new experiences, visit new places, make new friends, try dressing differently, do something crazy once in a while.
Some say that it’s better to build walls around themselves than to risk getting hurt again. And, that the tried and trusted is safer than looking for something different. All I know is that this month I will do at least one new, different, and crazy thing.
getting in the sea with her would be truly outside of my comfort zone.
Dreams do not have deadlines nor commitments…..
Hardly anyone is really in control of their own life. This is doubly true if you happen to be an ‘average person’, who has a job, mortgage, and normal financial commitments ~ face it you have to turn up for work every day, whether you like it or not. Add in a family, who undoubtedly will have expectations of you, and your time is not hardly ever your own. (And, I wasn’t even thinking about the ‘average person’ who is married with children.)
The ‘average person’ can’t really have dreams and desires, unless their dreams and desires happen to fit in with what others expect of you.
Just supposing you want to take a year off, buy an old school bus, turn into a camper van, and see as much of backroads America / Europe, as you possibly can in that year. What do you think your partner / family / friends / employer / neighbours are going to say about that?
I’ll tell you that the likelihood is that their views and words will range from incredulity to negativity, to downright hostility. That is if you are an ‘average person’ living a ‘normal life’. Ergo, to protect yourself you would probably not ever have that kind of empowering dream and desire.
Instead your mind will be filled with things such as; ‘what can I do about my partner / sister / brother…..?’ or ‘how can I afford to pay my bills’, or ‘how can I get a better job?’ or ‘what can I have for lunch / dinner / supper?’
None of us can do anything about our past, except reframe the way we think about it.
Most ‘normal’ and ‘average’ people can do very little about what’s happening to them in the present. The chances are that, for them, today will be pretty much like yesterday. If they have to work for a living the chances are that any working day will be exactly like the working day before. Even their thoughts and conversations will have a mind-numbing repetitious banality.
However, and this is
fucking damned important, we can all do something about our futures.
NOBODY has to settle for the status quo. If there is something or someone in your life that’s sucking the life out of you, then get rid of it / them. If your marriage is crap / abusive / boring, then get out of it. If your job is horrible and badly paid, then leave and get another job ~ there’s nothing like being out of work to put a real edge on job hunting.
There is only one problem ~ most people will never leave their ‘comfort zone’. If that’s you, then it’s time you grew up and grasped your own future with both hands ~ carpe diem.
As for me? I’m a really cool guy, living a great life. I can do just about whatever I want, just about whenever I want ~ within my own pretty rigid code of ethics, and the fact that I don’t ever want to get arrested again.
That van was in Palm Springs
Love can be the infinite curse of a true heart.
If you believe that you love someone, then there’s no rhyme or reason about the way you think, feel, or behave. All of your various emotional and happiness chemicals just take over. Scientists say that there are 4 sets of these; dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and the endorphins which accentuate the effects of everything else. But, you have to add to that a whole bunch of other mind – brain – body stuff happening when you think you’re in love ~ such as an adrenaline rush every now and again. Add to that not eating, not sleeping, and drinking too much, and no wonder we get messed up when we believe we are in love, (or we are consumed by desire).
Our own default subconscious personality type also has a big part to play. For most of my life I suffered from an intense fear of abandonment caused by a serious psychological illness called Borderline Personality Disorder. This fear of abandonment thing either makes you utterly destroy a relationship you’re in, or hang on to a dysfunctional relationship long past the point you should have called it a day and walked away.
So this deep interest in / deep affection for / sexual desire for a particular person caused me no end of problems, because none of it was real. Multiply that by several women over time and you can see how a polite and generous Englishman could become seriously screwed up. And ‘screwed up’ is putting it very mildly.
If I tried I could probably work out how much these false love affairs / relationships / marriage had cost me in time, money and lost opportunities, but being a banker I’ll make a stab at how much ‘being in love’ has cost me in hard cash over the years. Roughly, to the nearest $100,000 ~ about $2.75 million. Thinking I was in love, with the wrong woman, has cost me more than most people will earn in a lifetime.
And what did I get in return? Bad sex.
Ah well, t’was ever thus. A fool and his money are soon parted.
you would think I should have learned my lesson by now