Remember your dreams and desires, and fight for them, no matter what.
Following on from my post on The Myth of Sin, it is obvious to me that the established religions, especially the Catholic Church, fear strong, independent, liberated, sexual women. The clergy also fear real, mature women ~ else why would they so often get into serious trouble for homosexual relationships, underage sex, and sexually assaulting choirboys.
If the church and a majority of fearful men had their way, women would have remained uneducated, oppressed, repressed, undignified, deprived of their freedom, robbed of their independent thoughts, and be allowed to speak only on sufferance. I firmly believe this is because the church is afraid of the power of women, and a majority of pathetic men are just afraid of women in every way imaginable.
Men know than women are more centered, more serene, more patient, more emotional than they can ever be. They know that women are more resistant to disease, she will live longer, she is more resilient than any man. Because of all this, and because of her beauty, she can fulfill a man’s life immensely. A woman can complete a man’s life like a lock completes a key. And this makes weak men afraid because deep down they know that a woman is more than they are. A strong mature woman will choose the most beautiful but the most dangerous path of emotions, sentiments, moods ~ a man, any man, will tend to choose the straight line path to his wants, needs, and desires. Men tend to choose the shortcuts in Life.
Even the arts have been dominated by men, which is criminal because the strong right brains of women allow them to be far more artistic and creative than the linear Yes / No brain of a man. Had they not been repressed, how many female DaVinci, Michelangelo, or Shakespeare might there have been? Through the ages the artistic establishment, just like the church, the business world….. have all prevented women from achieving their true potential.
The life of women has been corrupted by fearful men telling them things that are not true, making women a slave to men, reducing women to second-class citizens in society. Weak men try to make women absolutely inferior, vulnerable, and dependent ~ and perhaps only begin to treat a woman well when they want sex from her.
Today I am fortunate. I am no longer afraid of women, and I see them as more than my equal, but different from me. Any women can be as intelligent as me, but her intelligence is different from mine, and I welcome that. I no feel no need to manipulate women and change them into something that is not a real, mature, capable, independent woman at all.
the type of women who makes weak men afraid and lustful
Sexual Jealousy, that dangerous dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.
Sexual jealousy is being upset, angry, bitter, resentful, and depressed because someone who you profess to love has been unfaithful, or seems interested in another person, or was involved with others in the past, or you imagine that they are, or were. It isn’t real ~ sexual jealousy is actually caused by insecurity, fear, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.
My friends, and especially my women friends, used to suffer terribly from my irrational jealousies. My jealousy wasn’t so much fun for me either, it did nothing for me except to make me unhappy and encourage me to get drunk. My jealousy may have been unpleasant for others, but it was an absolute torment for me. Being a miserable, resentful, angry, jealous drunk isn’t marked anywhere on the road to happiness and serenity, but it’s a major waypoint on the road to coming face to face with your own personal, terrifying dragon.
Yet, I was only tormenting myself in fear of being hurt and tormented by someone I thought I cared for ~ if you truly care for someone then jealousy has no place in your heart. Ergo, I did not really care for, far less love, any women I became jealous over. In fact, the best I could say is that I was infatuated. Any man who becomes infatuated over a woman does not value himself, and I was even worse than that, back then I didn’t even like myself.
Men and women are jealous in different ways, and for different reasons ~ typically men will become jealous because of a perceived threat to their ego, masculinity, sexual dominance, and existing relationship. However, women generally become jealous because of the threat to their existing relationship, and not because of their potentially bruised ego.
Any action taken as a result of sexual jealousy is likely to be extremely destructive ~ it will do nothing towards repairing your relationship, nor will it foster a greater understanding between you and your partner. On the contrary, in my case any woman I was involved with would always feel that she was walking on eggshells, and be afraid to be herself in case my jealousy spilled over in to judgementalism, leading to my attacking her verbally and in writing.
Some say that there is never any benefit in being jealous. And, don’t get jealous, just get even. All I know is that if your partner has really done something bad enough to make you insanely jealous, then it’s time you just walked away from that failed relationship.
Angry, Abusive, Controlling, Confrontational, Distrustful, Hate, Insecurities, Intolerant, Possessive, Resentful, Sarcastic, Selfish,
and Fucking Dangerous.
you never change your life until you step outside of your comfort zone
We all of us have safe routines and habits that almost never change. Most small teddy bears are afraid of the sea. Most people are a little afraid of the new, the strange, and the different.
Every day we go to work, we dress in the same clothes in the same style, we eat the same food. Our circle of friends pretty much never changes. We visit our parents at the weekend, and we spend the rest of each weekend doing almost the same things we did last weekend. We have our favourite seat at the bar in our usual pub, and our favourite type of booze to drink at home.
That picture is intensified if we have a partner, because not only do we live within our own comfort zone, we also feel that we have to live within theirs. Actually, some people do have to live well within their partner’s comfort zone, because to do otherwise would invite dire consequences.
Mostly we do not invite new and different experiences into our lives. Often we judge others harshly for sometimes doing things differently, and for stepping outside what we think is their role in our lives. Often we resent that people we know, our family and friends, for seeking to expand their own horizons, find new opportunities, seek out new experiences, and try to find new friends and lovers.
It’s sort of OK for you to resent it if people you know are trying to find something new in their lives ~ something that doesn’t necessarily involve you. All of us suffer from a fear of abandonment to one extent or another, and resenting someone close to you if they try to find new horizons is merely an unconscious expression of that fear of abandonment. But get over it. Just because your friend is looking for new friends doesn’t mean they are going to leave you behind ~ unless you’ve really pissed them off. Who knows? Your friend’s new friends may become your friends too.
You know what? It’s all about you. Welcome new experiences, visit new places, make new friends, try dressing differently, do something crazy once in a while.
Some say that it’s better to build walls around themselves than to risk getting hurt again. And, that the tried and trusted is safer than looking for something different. All I know is that this month I will do at least one new, different, and crazy thing.
getting in the sea with her would be truly outside of my comfort zone.
Dreams do not have deadlines nor commitments…..
Hardly anyone is really in control of their own life. This is doubly true if you happen to be an ‘average person’, who has a job, mortgage, and normal financial commitments ~ face it you have to turn up for work every day, whether you like it or not. Add in a family, who undoubtedly will have expectations of you, and your time is not hardly ever your own. (And, I wasn’t even thinking about the ‘average person’ who is married with children.)
The ‘average person’ can’t really have dreams and desires, unless their dreams and desires happen to fit in with what others expect of you.
Just supposing you want to take a year off, buy an old school bus, turn into a camper van, and see as much of backroads America / Europe, as you possibly can in that year. What do you think your partner / family / friends / employer / neighbours are going to say about that?
I’ll tell you that the likelihood is that their views and words will range from incredulity to negativity, to downright hostility. That is if you are an ‘average person’ living a ‘normal life’. Ergo, to protect yourself you would probably not ever have that kind of empowering dream and desire.
Instead your mind will be filled with things such as; ‘what can I do about my partner / sister / brother…..?’ or ‘how can I afford to pay my bills’, or ‘how can I get a better job?’ or ‘what can I have for lunch / dinner / supper?’
None of us can do anything about our past, except reframe the way we think about it.
Most ‘normal’ and ‘average’ people can do very little about what’s happening to them in the present. The chances are that, for them, today will be pretty much like yesterday. If they have to work for a living the chances are that any working day will be exactly like the working day before. Even their thoughts and conversations will have a mind-numbing repetitious banality.
However, and this is
fucking damned important, we can all do something about our futures.
NOBODY has to settle for the status quo. If there is something or someone in your life that’s sucking the life out of you, then get rid of it / them. If your marriage is crap / abusive / boring, then get out of it. If your job is horrible and badly paid, then leave and get another job ~ there’s nothing like being out of work to put a real edge on job hunting.
There is only one problem ~ most people will never leave their ‘comfort zone’. If that’s you, then it’s time you grew up and grasped your own future with both hands ~ carpe diem.
As for me? I’m a really cool guy, living a great life. I can do just about whatever I want, just about whenever I want ~ within my own pretty rigid code of ethics, and the fact that I don’t ever want to get arrested again.
That van was in Palm Springs
Love can be the infinite curse of a true heart.
If you believe that you love someone, then there’s no rhyme or reason about the way you think, feel, or behave. All of your various emotional and happiness chemicals just take over. Scientists say that there are 4 sets of these; dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and the endorphins which accentuate the effects of everything else. But, you have to add to that a whole bunch of other mind – brain – body stuff happening when you think you’re in love ~ such as an adrenaline rush every now and again. Add to that not eating, not sleeping, and drinking too much, and no wonder we get messed up when we believe we are in love, (or we are consumed by desire).
Our own default subconscious personality type also has a big part to play. For most of my life I suffered from an intense fear of abandonment caused by a serious psychological illness called Borderline Personality Disorder. This fear of abandonment thing either makes you utterly destroy a relationship you’re in, or hang on to a dysfunctional relationship long past the point you should have called it a day and walked away.
So this deep interest in / deep affection for / sexual desire for a particular person caused me no end of problems, because none of it was real. Multiply that by several women over time and you can see how a polite and generous Englishman could become seriously screwed up. And ‘screwed up’ is putting it very mildly.
If I tried I could probably work out how much these false love affairs / relationships / marriage had cost me in time, money and lost opportunities, but being a banker I’ll make a stab at how much ‘being in love’ has cost me in hard cash over the years. Roughly, to the nearest $100,000 ~ about $2.75 million. Thinking I was in love, with the wrong woman, has cost me more than most people will earn in a lifetime.
And what did I get in return? Bad sex.
Ah well, t’was ever thus. A fool and his money are soon parted.
you would think I should have learned my lesson by now
The harder I try, the better I get.
I may never ride bareback again ~ it’s much harder than it looks.
Please watch and listen responsibly.
If you want to be a better man,
try reading M. Scott Peck’s ,
The women we’re not supposed to have are the most irresistible.
Some women are literally almost irresistible to some men, and if you’re a guy that’s scary….. And usually the best thing you can do is get far away from her, as soon as possible. I can practically guarantee you that if you find a woman irresistible you’re going to end up broken and burned and wishing you could forget her. And you know what? You never will.
Maybe I’ll live so long I’ll forget her. Maybe I’ll die trying. ~
The Lady from Shanghai
But what makes a woman irresistible to a man? I’d like to say it depends, but mostly it doesn’t. And it isn’t all about looks, although the way she looks is important. Some of the things that can make a woman irresistible to a guy are;
- She knows what she wants, and she’ll do just about anything to get it.
- She has a sophisticated and cultured outlook on life, including her sense of humour, conversation, dress sense, makeup, and manners.
- She’s direct, forthright, and down to earth, quite prepared to call a spade a fecking shovel if she needs to.
- She is fit and healthy, preferably an ideal weight for her height, she has some muscle definition, and she knows how to walk well.
- Sexually she’s not only damn good, she’s also passionate, adventurous, and funny.
- She doesn’t spend all her time on social media when she is supposed to be with you.
- She doesn’t ever flirt with other guys when she’s supposed to be with you.
- She doesn’t expect you to get to know and like her family or friends.
- She never, ever talks about her past and her ex lovers.
- In some strange way she has that indefinable magic that makes her utterly charming.
- She likes kissing you, and she kissed you first.
I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. ~ Humphrey Bogart
And let’s face it….. most women are irresistible to most men anyway, no matter what.
Some say that what a women likes most in a man is that he’s tall, funny, well-behaved, and attentive. And that good manners go a long way to making a woman like a guy. All I know is that money changes everything.
It’s fun to be rich
you get to meet all kinds of unsuitable women
Life is a matter of courtship, wooing, romance, flirting, and dancing.
relationships and friendships may not last
personality and character sometimes alter
feelings attitudes may come from the past
be strong, be brave, be fast, do not falter
kind faithful honest honourable steadfast
and in time, with luck, you may yet win her
heart’s affections and her soul’s truest love
embrace courtly love
embrace your lover and dance
We live in a world of illusions and fantasies, lies and deceptions.
In my life I have often seen and heard what I wanted to see and hear, not what was really there at all. I was never willing to separate fact from my own fictions, to see what was actually going on around me. And yet, for relationships and connections to endure, reality and truth must be embraced whole-heartedly, one cannot go on looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses.
Consequently I oft-times found myself walking down dead-end streets and staying with totally dysfunctional relationships. I missed the many good opportunities the universe was sending me, any of which could have transformed my life. Being faithful and steadfast is all very well, but not when I was living within a tissue of lies and falsehoods. Being generous and kind is all very well, but not when I was pouring time, money, and love into a bottomless well and receiving little or nothing in return.
Ultimately, my behaviour was negative and destructive of my own self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Through not really facing the truth I would become paranoid, suspicious, jealous, frustrated, and angry.
Today I am ready to accept and understand the mistakes of the past, end the chapter, close the book, and allow progress and positive growth to happen. For that I need complete self-honesty and better self-awareness. Only then will real change lift me emotionally and spiritually out of the darkness that sometimes surrounds me ~ washing over me like a cold wave in the depths of a grey autumn.
Parts of my dark psyche still linger from my past negative behaviour; anger, bad temper, marginal propensity to alcoholism, pain, jealousy, frustration, resentments, selfishness, impulsiveness…..
This October, when my opposite and partner star-sign of Libra is in the ascendant, I can see clearly the person I used to be, the person I am now, and the man I shall become. I am more than just the two-dimensional image that stares back at me from the mirror. Now I am wiser, more open and ready to see change in my life. The lessons that must be learned are how to understand and accept the truth and not surrender to illusions.
Some say that change is bad, and today should be the same as yesterday, while tomorrow should be pretty much the same as today. And that they are perfectly happy living mundane and routine lives. All I know is that I can and will separate truth from fiction.
though it may twist and turn, the warrior’s path goes onwards and upwards
If you can’t find sex under a blue sky, you can’t find it anywhere.
sunshine good times
high clear deep bluest sky
new friends open conversations
food wine music party suntanned girls
strolling sightseeing swimming sunbathing
dancing talking kissing friends romance love sex
late summer Mediterranean vacation’s fond memories
seem mostly of fleeting romance, transient love, casual sex
not that casual sex on vacation is to be approved of