my wish is to wake up a better person than when I went to bed
We always want what we think we can’t have ~ that’s just human nature. It’s striving to get what we think we can’t have, to dream the impossible dream, to find new experiences and new loves that makes men and women do things like climb Mt. Everest, invent the wheel, put a man on the moon, and besiege Troy for the love of Helen. And every time ordinary people said they were crazy.
If we become a better person we are not only able to take better care of ourselves, we can also take better care of others, especially the people we have feelings for, especially the one we love the most of all.
When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better. ~ Solange Knowles.
Ergo, the first thing you should want to become is a superior version of yourself. Look after yourself, get healthier, fitter, stronger in body, mind, and spirit ~ get control of your emotions, get out in the fresh air and sunshine, get some exercise, read some good books, listen to some uplifting talks on YouTube….. Not only that, take a good hard look at yourself and be brutally honest; are you looking as good as you could? Hair, manicure, clothes, shoes, is your skin as healthy and glowing as it could be, do you smell nice?
What about your finances? Have you got spare cash at the end of the month, or are you continually broke? Are you in a dead-end job that pays peanuts? Do you actually manage your money, balance your cheque book?
And how are your relationships? Are you still madly in love with your partner, or are you in a dysfunctional relationship? Do you like to see your family regularly, or, like me are you totally estranged? Have your friends all turned to strangers?
You know you need to make some changes and rearrange your whole life, and deep down you really know what it is you need to do ~ so do it. You have had enough lessons from life ~ so use them and unfuck your life. You’d think you’d have made some changes by now, so dump the apathy, and be who who really want to be.
And if you don’t know who you want to be, then find yourself your ideal role model, and become them. It does not even have to be a real person; you may want to be India Jones, James Bond, Achilles, Holly Golightly, Ellen Ripley, or Aphrodite ~ don’t just sit there, do something about it ~ act as if you were that person. You will never become your role model, but along the way you will become a superior version of yourself.
Some say that there are going to be some changes around here ~ tomorrow. And that they are just running around in crazy circles like a rat on a wheel. All I know is I hope we find our way someday soon.
don’t all men just love that kind of discourse with a woman they care about?
Those who only look to the past are certain to miss the future.
the past is not real
There is nothing wrong with learning from the past, but the mind can masochistically replay painful memories from our past, or from the pasts of those we may profess to care about. This dark process will create anger, jealousy, envy, paranoia, and suffering. Continuously replaying the past, yours or anyone else’s, not only causes immense pain, it also stops us from living a happy and mindful life in the present, and it will make dark all our possible futures.
Because I suffer from a serious personality disorder, I would allow my mind’s stories of the past to contaminate and blight my whole life, without learning very much at all. I continuously carried around with me all the pain, suffering, grudges, resentments, and jealousies ~ sometimes from things that happened years before, and often from things others did years before I even knew them.
This is self-destructive. Continuously replaying the past can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. My dwelling on thoughts of the past, my own or anyone else’s, will lead to similar events happening in the future. This process of reliving the past is more like self-torture than a positive learning process, because there is one thing you should know ~ no matter who you are, you cannot fix the past.
When we replay the past in our minds we relive all the big mistakes we made, all the bad things that happened to us, and all the horrible things that people have done to us. And, the terrible thing is that some of those horrible things probably happened before whoever did them even met us, or knew who we were. This distorted and paranoid view of the past becomes impressed on our subconscious, which then uses it as a template to deal with the present, and projects it into a dark and painful future.
When we listen to our mind’s stories about what should have happened, about what we or others should have done, we are no longer experiencing real life, we are instead lost in the subconscious mind’s paranoia, suspicion, and judgmentalism. This leads to pain, stress, anger, anxiety, guilt, and apathy.
We all need to find a way of letting go of the past, for the past is nothing but a memory, and memories aren’t real life. Other than counselling, working with a psychologist, hypnosis, self-hypnosis, or psychotherapy, I only know of one way to reprogram the subconscious mind so that any memories of the past are no longer painful and dark. To act ‘as if’. Act ‘as if’ the past isn’t painful, that it no longer bothers you, that the past no longer causes suffering, grudges, resentments, and jealousies. Do that well enough, for long enough, and that will become your new reality. It may take a year.
Some say that he’s an evil bastard just because that’s how he acted in the past. Or that she’s an alcoholic addicted tramp because she used to drink too much, smoke pot, and screw around. All I know is that the past is another country.
don’t look back to a dark past,
live in the present