Random Jottings ~ Positive Affirmations

be inspired to think, act, and believe in ways that fulfill your potential

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every morning is a new chance to enjoy life

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I am not the sum of my past mistakes, nobody is perfect

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I am at peace with everything that has happened in my life

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I will neither judge myself nor the other people in my life

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we each have the power to change our lives for the better

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I am good with who I am, and proud of who I am becoming

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I can meet each new challenge with fortitude and enthusiasm

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my partner is very attracted to me; physically, spiritually, and emotionally

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

at the end of every day, I know that I will have done the best that I could

Accepting the Truth

deep down we already know the truth, we merely have to accept it

not all is well if she ignores you on a date

I needed to write this because the story of my life that has been related within these posts has always been true, but not necessarily the whole truth.  At times the whole truth was too distressing for me to accept and understand, let alone write about.

At times my life demanded more of my inner resources than I had to give.  And, when I failed and fell off the warriors path I risked doing far more damage than just scraping my knee.  There was a time, years that ended just a few days ago, when being a sacrificial animal on the alter of someone else’s toxic wants, needs, and desires was an integral part of my mindset.  Self-neglect resulting in unhappiness, depression, alcoholism, and physical illness also cost me a hell of a lot of time and money.  I have now come to accept that some manipulative people can make being in a dysfunctional relationship seem perfectly normal.  Of course, for a man like me that devious person had to be a woman ~ perhaps more than one woman.  We go on making the same mistakes until we accept  and understand our own denial.  That is part of my truth.

I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.  ~  Leo Tolstoy

Fortunately my mindset has changed.  I can’t take much credit for that, but now I am seeking and finding real balance in my life, the critical differences that can prevent me from falling off the cliff and hitting yet another rock bottom.  The critical differences between living well and living foolishly.

It’s time for me to practice self-care and self-love instead of martyrdom and victim-hood.  I haven’t forgotten that these are not easy battles to win ~ not least because of my own previous denial.  It’s difficult to admit the whole truth to others when you are lying to yourself.  And from time to time I got drunk and went off-line just to escape from the truth, just to escape from a dysfunctional ‘friendship’ for a while.

Deep down I always knew the whole truth, I merely had to accept it.

Some say that it’s better to live with soft lies than learn from hard truths.  And that having half a loaf is better than no bread.  All I know is that if I accept the truth and live with it my heart will be at peace.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

not all is well is she dates much younger men

not when she’s supposed to be dating you

Monochrome Monday ~ Wilderness

the wilderness is a necessity for the human spirit

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

sometimes when you lose your way

you find your true self

Breaking Up Is Not Hard To Do

never allow yourself to be someone else’s option

They will tell you that the end of a relationship is painful and traumatic.  They will tell you that breaking up is hard to do.  You know what.  Ending it is easy, once you’ve made the decision, but make the breakup quick and clean, and never once look back.  Maybe you want to give her or him a reason, but if you do say why, don’t be very nasty and impolite…..  If you have to, then just say it’s over, and walk away.  After all, there are some good people out there.

Some may believe that we should feel the way this song says we should feel at the end of a love affair.  Trust me, you don’t have to be that sad.  Being miserable is a choice.

Some say that breaking up is hard to do.  And that it’s better to forgive and make up.  All I know is that sometimes a man just needs to say; ‘enough is enough’, and walk away.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the hardest thing is never again talking with someone you used to talk to every day

Scenes on Sunday ~ the Sea and the Sun

our lives are painted in colours borrowed from the sea

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

early dawn over the North Sea

 

 

Songs on Saturday ~ So Lonely

the loneliest moment in a man’s life
is when he’s watching his whole world fall apart 

Well, I’m feeling so lonely today.  This is a great track from British band,  The Police.

Please listen with a little sympathy.

Or, at least don’t say that I deserved it.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

not as lonely as being the last man alive in the city

 

 

Songs on Saturday ~ I go to Extremes

all extremes of feeling are merely madness

Yesterday I ended a long-term friendship with I woman I once believed was special to me.  Perhaps she was special to me, but it seems that I didn’t mean much to her.  This Billy Joel song says something of how that felt for me.

I laid awake for night after night, coming apart at the seams.

Please listen without condemning me.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Key Largo, another example of extremes

Unwise Friendships

true friends always bring out the best in you
and will always stand by you

beware of women drinking beer in bars

The people I have become ‘friends’ with in the past have had both positive and negative effects on my life.  My friends have improved me and brought me down.  I have spent too much time with toxic people and some of their habits have rubbed off on me.  Things that should have been utterly acceptable to me became almost acceptable for a time.  Of course the ideal is for my friends to bring out the best in me, to help me to grow, to stand by me in times of trouble ~ that hasn’t always happened.  In fact sometimes it has been the reverse.

In life you will realise there is a purpose in everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly…..  some will bring out the best in you.  ~  C.S. Lewis

Just recently I have come to accept that a supposedly very close friend used me badly, and brought out the very worst in me.

I actually believe that everyone we meet, we meet for a reason.  Sadly, at the time, we seldom know the reasons.  Just because I met someone didn’t and shouldn’t have meant that she became and stayed my friend.  Perhaps I should be more ready and willing to lose friends and acquaintances who repeatedly caused me pain and distress, took up a great deal of my time and money, offering me little in return.

I do not have to justify why I am moving away from toxic and uncaring friends.  I am and was willing to share my concerns and worries with them, but I should never expect anyone to change on my behalf.  People are often blind to their own weaknesses and faults, may refuse to accept that they can be in the wrong, and blame me when the friendship got into rocky waters and sank.

Being utterly honest with those around me is important.

It is sad when friendships break up due to time, circumstances, and different wants, needs, and desires.  But it’s inevitable that some friendships and love affairs fail.  Often it was those sad times that showed me who my true friends are.

Those true and real friendships are the ones I should treasure.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

some people have caused me pain

and I have been guilty too

 

 

The End Of A Friendship

in life your true friends show themselves, and the others disappear

all things come to an end, even dreams of summer

It’s always sad when a friendship comes to an end, but some friendships last far too long, way past the time that they should been over.  I just ended a friendship that had gone on for years beyond it’s natural life.  I ended it by email, because she didn’t answer my call, perhaps that was bad of me.  But, it needed to be over.

Some things are just not acceptable from a friend, and it is up to us to decide what we will live with, understand, and forgive, and what we won’t.  I decided that a long-term friend had just told me something I just wasn’t prepared to tolerate and accept.  She’s gone back to her old habits and haunts, and I can’t even begin to cope with that.  It was a toxic friendship, ruining my mental health and well-being.

I was getting drunk in an effort to make things OK, and that was never going to be a solution.  Booze just makes things worse, although she will never accept that as far as she is concerned.  So, it’s the end of that friendship ~ and although I’m a little bit sad, it’s better that she’s never going to make me desperately unhappy again.

I’ll try hard to completely forget her, but I won’t spend the rest of my life trying.

It won’t take that long to move on.

I far have better friends now.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies by omission

 

Food on Friday ~ Lockdown

now that I’m in enforced lockdown I’ll be eating canned goods for another week

None of these following recipes are unhealthy canned goods.

First this week from Jessica Merchant at How Sweet Eats we have delicious Parsmesan Pistachio Pork Tenderloin.

Parmesan Pork Tenderloin

Now from Tiegha Gerard at Half Baked Harvest we have Skillet Chicken Broccoli Pot Pie with a Garlic Butter Phyllo Crust.  That looks wonderful.  Me I’m eating pie out of a can!

Skillet Chicken Broccoli Pot Pie with a Garlic Butter Phyllo Crust

From Diane at In Dianes Kitchen, how about these Asian Pork Meatballs ~ I wish.

Asian Pork Meatballs

Chungah at Damn Delicious gives us her Best Ever Beef Stew.

Best Ever Beef Stew

Amanda at Chez le Reve Francais has a wonderful recipe for her Quiche Lorraine with Shortcrust Pastry.

Quiche Lorraine with Shortcrust Pastry

And Finally for this week, Garlic and Herb Sweet Potato Nourish Bowl, from the Minimalist Baker.  I would make this if I was allowed out to the store.

Garlic and Herb Sweet Potato Nourish Bowl

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke and I still have a little fresh food left

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