Monochrome Monday ~ Utah Couds
Grey skies are just clouds passing overhead.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
It’s a big country
Monochrome Monday ~ Big Bear
The goal of life is to make your heart beat as one with the Cosmos.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Big Bear is a cool place to spend a long weekend
in the summer
no way I’m going up there at this time of year
I hate snow
What Some Women Say They Don’t Want
Should a guy always pay the tab in a fancy restaurant?
Following my ‘Shipping Forecast’ post earlier today, I have been roundly disabused about what women want. A close friend of mine has told me, in no uncertain terms, that most women do not want ‘guys who pick up the restaurant bill, arrange the vacations and buy the tickets, and who will go to wild parties and pretend to enjoy them……’
Funny, she could have fooled me, because where ever I have been with her, whatever great road trips we have been on, whenever we have been to a nice restaurant, or called at a cool bar ~ I have always paid for everything. And, from the first time I met her she has expected me to always pay for everything. (With the exception of a few drinks, or a meal once in a while…..)
Also she has expected me to enjoy meeting her family and friends at various lunches and get-togethers. Quite frankly I don’t want to get to know her family and friends. We don’t have that kind of relationship.
As it goes I don’t mind always picking up the tab, but I object when she says that’s not what she wants, and that it’s not what most women want.
Or, have I got things totally wrong, again?
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the end of a great road trip
Scenes on Sunday ~ Dramatic Clouds
There are no rules of architecture for a castle built in the clouds.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I heard their evils sounds
as they all tried to clip my wings
and keep my feet back on the ground
I don’t care, I’ve already burned my bridges
so don’t even look for me, I won’t ever be around
Scenes on Sunday ~ California Beaches
If you like sand dunes and salty air, dream of me and I’ll be there.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I wish they could all be California Girls Beaches
If you can’t be happy in California, you can’t be happy anywhere
Lucky Jack?
Only a fool will let miserable situations run on from year to year.
Despite everything, there have been some dark clouds over my head. Ergo yesterday, on a whim, I took a train ride to the nearest big city to do a little shopping.
More than just going shopping yesterday, and buying whatever took my fancy; in a few weeks I’m going to New Mexico to attend a ‘new-age’ retreat, and I’ve just booked a week on the Algarve for over the Christmas Holidays. That Christmas trip will be my 6th vacation this year. How fortunate is that?
Oft times I tell you of my woes, bemoaning my luck, revealing the darker parts of my psyche ~ and yet there are so many others who are far worse off than I. Even in this moderately wealthy country, this green and pleasant land that is England, much misery abounds. There are those who struggle to find the next penny, let alone have the cash and freedom to just take off whenever they feel like it.
And, in America, that Land Of The Free there are more people living on the streets than a supposedly civilised country should countenance. Some say those people are just down on their luck ~ some bad luck America.
Without revealing too many confidences; yesterday I had to give a friend enough money for petrol, (gas), to allow her to visit her son who had been rushed into hospital. Even some of my friends aren’t as fortunate as I.
Maybe I want so much that I aim too high, and just going off shopping, or taking a vacation, is ultimately less than satisfying for me. Those foreign trips may put me under a different sky, but I still often feel alone and unsatisfied. Perhaps this is because I have unreasonable expectations, or that I am acting with selfishness, or it may be that I am not living a mindful life anyway.
One hope is that my upcoming New Mexico trip will give me some new psychological tools to put in my bag. Another is that as I become more self-aware and more self-confident, I will be able to look at my life, my relationships, my wants, needs, desires, and dreams in a more honest and mindful way.
Some say it’s not what you keep that matters, it’s what you are prepared to leave and lose. And, that if you have doubts about people it’s time to walk away. All I know is that the harder I work at things, the luckier I get.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Living on the streets is not much fun
Back to Square One
You can’t do the job if you haven’t got the proper tools.
Yesterday I was very tempted to book a trip to Agadir in Morocco, even though I’ve just returned to England after my recent vacation on Crete. (You would like Crete.)
The Moroccan adventure would have been for a week, departing England on October 11th. The whole deal would have cost me less than it’s costing me to fly the Atlantic for my trip to New Mexico in early November. And, that upcoming trip is one reason I’ve decided not to take the Road to Morocco just now ~ I would probably have spent my whole time in Morocco thinking about going to New Mexico.
That, and the main reason for travelling right now is me not wanting to be here on my own, me escaping from what’s going on inside my own head, not wanting to face the fact that I’m the world’s biggest screw-up, me running away…..
I don’t think I’ve shared that each day I pray to my Goddess, and that I write these prayers on slips of paper about the size of a personal cheque, (check). I save these prayers, and each day I take an old prayer from the found vase I keep them in, and contemplate what I was saying in the past.
Today, the old prayer is from December 1st 2015; …..please help me to learn a way to stop finding the bad things in Life.
That is just as appropriate right now as it was then. I am still right back at square one.
In my life there has been heartache and pain. For most of my life I suffered from undiagnosed and untreated Borderline Personality Disorder ~ a seriously dangerous mental illness. For the past few years I have been striving diligently to be a ‘better man’. And, it would seem that I haven’t had that much success.
Here’s the thing, no matter how hard you try to achieve something, no matter what you do, you cannot succeed if you don’t have the right tools for the job.
Today I have come to realise that I don’t have the right tools to achieve enough significant personality changes to become the better man, the superior man.
And then Serendipity kicks in. This New Mexico retreat I am attending in November has the strapline From Chaos to Coherence ~ The Power To Thrive In Life Extremes. If you know anything at all about BPD, you will know that I go to extremes, but perhaps this retreat will put some more and better tools in my psychological toolbox.
Some say that all prayers are answered, but sometimes the answer is ‘no’. And, that if the only tool you have is a hammer then you see every problem as a nail. All I know is that if you’re fighting with the alligators, it’s difficult to remember that you’re supposed to be draining the swamp.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Right now the alligators are winning,
so fuck the swamp.
Scenes on Sunday ~ Knossos
The last Western Society to worship female powers was Minoan Crete.
The palace at Knossos dates from 1700 BC
Knossos is Europe’s oldest city, dating from perhaps 7,000 BC
Many legends surround Knossos ~ the Labyrinth, the Minotaur, Daedalus and Icarus.
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Minoan Art is Fabulous
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The site was eventually abandoned in Roman times.
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
This bull’s head is in the museum in Heraklion,
seeing it is better than my picture.
Deal Me Again
If you’re weary of Mediterranean sunshine, you’re weary of life.
Heading home to England from Crete today. Looks like that’s the last of my Mediterranean vacations for this year. I think I’m having far too much time at home in the garret, and not enough time travelling, enjoying sunshine and good weather, exploring interesting new places, and generally relaxing.
In the rest of this year I only have one more trip organised, (mostly organised). In November ‘the girl riding shotgun’ and I are going to New Mexico, principally to attend a 4 day retreat lead by Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Lipton. I am adding a couple of days in Albuquerque to that trip, and I will by flying in and out of Orange County in SoCal from the UK. So maybe a couple of weeks vacationing in all.
I would take a cruise over the Christmas Holidays – if I could find a cool travelling companion to go with me….. Although I don’t object to being a solitary traveller, I really do think you need to be with someone, if you’re taking a cruise – maybe especially over the festive season.
So, I need to re-prioritise my life; spend more time being in the sun on vacation, spend more time planning and arranging vacations, put more effort into finding that ideal travelling companion, and spend much, much less time being miserable in the garret during the cold, dull, miserable English Autumn and winter. And, I need to continue my worthy studies into philosophy, psychology, and the Meaning of Life – especially when I am on vacation.
Some say that life can’t be all about having fun, that we have to suffer in order to fully enjoy the ‘beer and skittles’. And, that into each life a little rain must fall. All I know is that I’ve suffered my fair share of fucking damn downpours.
It’s time to reshuffle the deck and deal myself another sunshine Mediterranean vacation.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Sunshine and a great pool, what more could a guy want other than a pretty woman?
Time is Running Out
Time is probably infinite. Your Time and my Time is very finite.
Time goes by, after all that’s the basic job of Time. What Time does best is pass. And, the ordinary scientist, working in an ordinary universe, will tell you that time passes at a constant rate. To all practical intents and purposes that’s true – except for when it’s not.
For a start, perfectly respectable physicists can prove that Time passes at different rates depending on things like how fast you are travelling, and how much gravity is affecting you. As it goes, that’s only interesting to people who fly a lot and astronauts.
What’s more interesting to everyone is how fast time seems to pass in different situations, with different people, in different places, when we are doing different things. For example, in airport departure lounges Time crawls by like a wounded fly – unless you are late for your flight, and then Time just blasts past.
If you are with the one you love, and she / he loves you too, then each moment lasts a delicious eternity, but eternity lasts just a heartbeat. Conversely, if you are in an abusive / dysfunctional / one-sided relationship, then the minutes last forever. Trust me, I’ve been there more than once.
When you are having a brilliant vacation, (as I am on Crete right now), then the days pass in a blur, and all to soon it’s over. Then Time brings you back down to Earth with a bump when you’re in an airport departure lounge again.
As we get older, we come to realise that our personal lifetime is short, finite, and will end probably sooner than we would like. That’s Time’s final cruel joke.
Some say that we have commitments and responsibilities…… that we should spend our Time doing what’s expected of us, to the best of our abilities. And, that sometimes Time drags through boredom, ennui, and lassitude. All I know is that the rest of my time on this Earth is going to be filled with adventure, fun, love, sex, and really wild things.
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Time for me to leave my comfort zone behind forever
