human behaviour flows from just three main sources; desire, emotion, and knowledge ~ Plato
there is nothing real but dreams and love
and love is like the wind
I may never know from whence it comes
teach me how to find
the true love and desire in you
the mystery of a masque
we are shaped by our thoughts, we become what we think and believe
Neuroplasticity is the ability your brain has to rewire and restructure itself according to usage and needs. The more we use certain parts of our brain, the stronger they get. Conversely, the less we use certain parts of our brain the weaker they get. So, if your brain spends a lot of its time being depressed, then the part of your brain / body that is depressed, that creates sadness, melancholy, and hopelessness in you, will become stronger and larger. You will get better and better at being depressed.
Whereas, if you fill your life with joy, companionship, and happiness, then the part of your brain / body that deals with those things will become stronger and larger ~ you will become better and better at pleasure, satisfaction, and elation.
Weird, but that’s the way it really works.
If you learn a new and difficult skill, particularly one which involves both the mind and body; golf, tennis, touch typing, knitting, carpentry, learning to drive….. then your brain will change, enlarge, and strengthen to allow you to get good at your chosen pastime or occupation.
Because of the power of neuroplasticity, you can, in fact, reframe your world and rewire your brain so that you are more objective. You have the power to see things as they are so that you can respond thoughtfully, deliberately, and effectively to everything you experience. ~ Elizabeth Thornton.
The really interesting part is that we can use neuroplasticity on purpose to create and reinforce a change in ourselves. With each repetition of thought or feeling we reinforce a particular set of neural pathways. These small changes, frequently enough repeated, lead to changes in how our brains work. Neuroplasticity offers us the opportunity to make real and lasting psychological changes in the way our brain / body works.
There are a number of exercises we can use to enhance the interconnectedness of our neural pathways, and they are both intellectual and physical. For example, regularly only using your ‘wrong’ hand promotes left / right brain connectedness, while reading a good, difficult, and stimulating book promotes the efficiency of the intellectual and memory parts of the brain.
The key is repetition and keeping on practicing until whatever it that you want becomes a habit and your normal way of life. If you want to stop being jealous, then practice being tolerant, accepting, trusting and understanding. As they say in AA; ‘fake it to make it’.
Some say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And that once a sinner, always a sinner. All I know is that the phenomenon of neuroplasticity allows us to be whoever and whatever we want to be.
you can change and strengthen your brain / body so you could build anything
to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions
A friend said; ‘I’ve learned that what I see isn’t always what I’m seeing…..’
Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~ Einstein
Everything we experience is filtered through our own internal maps, rules, preconceptions, prejudices, mores, ethics, and past experiences. Which is why we can’t always believe what we see, hear, read, and are told by others. An Australian may see a naked black man and just think that he’s a blackfella gone walkabout. Whereas an elderly American woman from Virginia may see a naked black man and be so mortally afraid that she’ll call the police. (I could go on but it get’s rude so use your own imagination….. See what I mean?)
Nothing has meaning until we interpret the experience through the entirety of our subconscious mind and all the shit that’s in there. Every single thing you experience is meaningless in its own right. Only after we have applied all the filters we have learned since before we were even born does a sensory experience actually have any meaning whatsoever.
This is useful, because it means that we don’t have to relearn everything every single time it happens. If you didn’t know what the dawn meant and how it happens you’d get pretty shocked at daybreak. And this is one reason we all live in our comfort zones and tend to avoid genuinely new experiences. The new and unknown can be surprising and scary.
But, this filtering of experiences through the entirety of our unconscious, subconscious, and conscious minds is also bad. It means that we are closed-minded, never open to seeing the other chap’s point of view, and if we do have an unexpected and new experience we tend to dismiss it out of hand. For example, if you believe in catastrophic anthropogenic climate change, then you will never be open to the argument that there isn’t any such thing ~ no matter the evidence.
What this means that we should always question the evidence of our own eyes; what you see isn’t always what you get.
And maybe 1% of the people on this planet would ever be willing to do that because it requires brutal self-honesty. Before you can truly see the world, you first have to truly see yourself.
Some say they won’t get fooled again. And that their point of view is the only point of view worth having. All I know is that she seems to have invisible touches.
the wheels in your mind are in perpetual motion
I was born alone, but I carry the spirit and blood of my ancestors.
I know my name. I know where and when I was born. I firmly believe that I knew who my parents were. I know that in my life I have had money, wealth, property ~ all resulting from working hard in my chosen profession. I don’t know very much about myself at all.
Like many men I have been disappointed and dissatisfied with Life ~ especially in matters of the heart. Like many men I have gone through Life thinking that there should be more, and that I should do better.
Much of these vague feelings of dissatisfaction were a result of my brain and mind not functioning as nature intended as a result of unhealthy stress. Too much bad, unhealthy stress results in reduced Gamma wave activity, reduced mental acuity, pessimism, negativity, fatigue, and ill-health. No wonder many of us have felt disappointed and dissatisfied for much of our lives.
At it’s heart bad, toxic, unhealthy stress is a result of fear. However, now I shall have a fearless engagement with Life that shall be the core condition for satisfaction, high performance, constructive relationships, and greater well-being.
This will take a fundamental change in attitude to rewire my brain and reprogram my subconscious mind until this fearless and confident attitude becomes second nature
This is a very difficult thing to do, requiring a total reexamination of just who the hell and am and just who the hell I want to be. What foundations am I building this new Life upon? What are going to be my building blocks for a strong, solid, and fearless Life?
There are some words; kind, caring, compassionate, polite, gentlemanly, generous, focus, faithfulness, brave, fearless, determined, confident, cool, peaceful….. But perhaps I just need one word which encompasses all of that ~ and ‘good isn’t good enough.
However, I am one small step closer to knowing exactly what needs to be done to unburden myself of the emotional and spiritual obstacles I have been hiding behind. I’m not seeking instant gratification, nor some advantage over others. I am seeking to become a superior man ~ in comparison with what has gone before.
It has taken much hard work to bring me to where I am today, but this is not the moment to rest. There are challenges ahead and I have a strong desire to manifest real and successful change through hard work and dedication to a long-term plan.
Some say that I really don’t know who I am. And that sometimes I just don’t give a fuck. All I know is that I can rebuild myself, better than before. This man can build just about anything.
I made this car
the breeze at dawn has secrets to whisper
silent bright morning
caresses the silent horizon
it had been a restless night
believe in yourself and your own abilities
And some believed that a man could fly.
I believe that each of us has abilities, skills, and talents we have never fully utilised. Some of us we have abilities we aren’t even aware of, either because they have been discouraged from childhood, or they just don’t seem to fit within our comfort zone. Well, perhaps t’s time we found those talents and abilities and allowed them to shine out into the world.
To do that we have to become outgoing, confident, and perhaps show off a little ~ to get noticed in a positive way. Don’t appear arrogant nor over-confident, but neither hide away and ignore what is innately within us.
Pay attention to ways we can possibly progress in our chosen career, or hobbies and pastimes, relationships, aims, desires, goals and dreams.
Probably we will need some help to fully realise our undiscovered abilities, skills, and talents ~ so this may be the time to find a new friend, teacher, collaborator. I my own case it may be that I have some weird psychic skills which have thus far manifested in a small way through Tarot ~ but there’s no way I can find out if I can actually read the cards without a really skilled teacher / collaborator.
And, as it goes, I don’t believe that reading Tarot cards is my true undiscovered ability. I believe there is something far more profound hiding away in my subconsciousness. I’m going to develop a plan to discover whatever hidden abilities I may have. It will undoubtedly mean trying new and interesting things and experiences.
Some say that what you see is what you get. And that they are honest, open, and fully developed as a person. All I know is that I can make things happen just by staying open-minded.
each of us must find their own dawn
sometimes, the good memories are all we have left
don’t run away into the desert
but enjoy your desert adventures
You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, ashamed, angry, nor condemned.
If I sit alone and brood, then all the negative, dark, and ugly thoughts come back to me.
If I drink to escape and hide from my painfully dark and negative feelings, then things get far, far worse.
For me, The Past is a very dangerous place. Before I ever go there again I should take notice of the signs that say things like ‘Here Be Dragons’.
At times my thoughts can suddenly wander into dark places leading me to have unpleasant and negative feelings.
In own unacknowledged and unaccepted pain I am quite capable of hurting the ones I care for the most.
Deep within me I am still a prisoner of the negative ethics, judgementalism, and fears I learned when I was a child.
Right now, I do not know how to deal with any of this.
My only plan is to keep working on recovering from severe alcoholic poisoning, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. And, the only recovery I’m going to work on today is physical ~ not thinking or feeling at all seems like a good plan.
That and staying away from any thoughts and feelings at all.
there may be a new dawn ahead
it’s just that, right now
I can’t see it
Your memory is a monster it summons with a will of its own. You think you have a memory, but it has you. ~ John Irving
My strongest belief was that I was doing well, that I was making an escape from the dark demons that were haunting me.
I told myself that I was a cool guy, living a great life. Cool is not a good adjective to apply to myself. It excuses all kinds of previous negative actions, and on-going manipulation of others.
In doing my best to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder I was just making things much worse.
The Holidays and all through January have been very bad, and as you would expect, I had a complete alcohol-fueled breakdown last week. Since Sunday my body, mind, and spirit have just concentrated on my staying alive.
I will try to make amends to all those people I have hurt. Maybe I’ll die trying.
Alone in the darkness is a very bad place
You will find your true life path when your inner compass is steady.
Each of us has an inner compass deep within our subconscious mind, and this controls and regulates everything we do, each and every hour of every single day. The snag is, sometimes our inner compass doesn’t point to the moral and ethical equivalent of North, and sometimes our inner compass just spins out of control.
We also have maps, models, and frameworks in our subconsciousness. And these maps, models, and frameworks allow us to make sense of the world and our family, our partner, our work, and the all the rest of our environment. These maps, models, and frameworks are what allows us to have any kind of a relationship with others because they help us to make sense of our body, our heart, our mind, and our spirit and intuition. These maps, models, and frameworks are our inner world. But, each of our inner maps are likely to be very inaccurate and incomplete, and have such helpful annotations such as; ‘Here Be Monsters’, and ‘Impassable Swamp’. Our models and frameworks are often completely wrong too.
Our inner compass, and our maps, models and frameworks are most likely to be utterly and totally wrong when we are under intolerable stress, or have suffered from a recent, (or not so very recent), trauma.
Because we are the Captain of our own ship, trying to navigate our way through this complicated, complex, and dangerous sea of life, we need to put our maps, models, and frameworks in order, we need to find a guiding light ~ sometimes we just have to junk our existing picture of the world and life, starting again with clean sheets of paper. We need to take our authority back to ourselves and ignore or reject all the authority that has been imposed upon us. The patterns and authority imposed upon us is always negative and self-destructive.
We need to become the very best version of ourselves that we can, and take back our self-belief, self-confidence, and self-will. We need to rediscover our truth and purpose, and we can never do that if we rely on outdated maps, inaccurate models, and broken frameworks.
In order to restore health and equilibrium to ourselves, to fix our broken compass, and to make new maps, models, and frameworks to help us make sense of the world we need to realise that much of what we are doing and have done falls into the realm of negativity and self-destruction. In order to rebuild something better we need to junk the old negative ways of thinking and allow new and better into our lives.
This is easy. This quest to become the best version of you that you can possibly be, the way to becoming the true Captain of your own ship, will just require you to work at it for every waking hour for the rest of your life. Regaining control of your inner compass, your maps, models, and frameworks will be a never-ending story.
Some say that self-improvement and self-development books, podcasts, videos, conferences, and retreats are a waste of time. And, some say that there is nothing at all wrong with them and the way the react to the world. All I know is that the harder and longer I try, the better I become.
hold true to a better Goddess
hold true to a cleaner and more positive sea