Before you can learn something new, you have to end what used to be.
I have learned to love the desert.
At least half of what you know is outdated in today’s world. Most of your past experiences have created insecurities, jealousies, and resentments in your subconscious mind. It is easy to feel inhibited and illiterate with the constant pressure to learn, unlearn, and relearn ~ to accept, approve and understand. Our entire life has created us as we are, and yet who we are right now probably isn’t working so well.
Learning new things isn’t difficult for most of us ~ each of us has our own way of learning as we explore new situations, new processes, new challenges, and new relationships. The real problem begins when we have to unlearn something first. We can become so fixated on what we already know, on past experiences, that it can be hard to let go of the old to let in the new. If your old partner cheated on you, then it’s going to be difficult to trust any woman / man you date in the future.
Every day you will be challenged to unlearn what you think you know about women / men, or how you expect them to behave, or whether you can trust or not.
Unlearning is a way of making space for newer, fresher experiences, information, and knowledge. Unlearing is like deleting files on your laptop, or repainting your apartment, or dumping your partner ~ it’s stripping away the old and unwanted before you can add something better. The problem is that when something has worked in the past, we have a tendency to assume that it will keep working in the future. This is not true.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein.
The most successful people are ready to question what they know, who they know, and why they do what they do. The really successful man / woman is open to contradictions and failure ~ always ready to learn something new.
Some say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And that a leopard can never change its spots. All I know is that a successful man realises that the experience will always be different from his expectations.
some dogs learn new tricks
Tired minds don’t plan well. Sleep first, plan later. ~ Walter Reisch
Not getting enough good sleep causes all kinds of problems. You lose sharpness, your concentration and memory suffers, you get bad tempered and irritable, you gain weight and look terrible. Really sustained lack of sleep is very serious; it weakens your immune system, leads to heart and circulatory problems, increases your risk of diabetes, kills your sex drive, and if it goes on for long enough it will lead to your early death.
A long lie-in at the weekend doesn’t help either. That long lie-in is not good sleep, all it will do is give you the equivalent of jet-lag on Monday morning. Changing your sleeping patterns at the weekend is bad, you should aim to go to bed at the same time every night, and get up at the same time every morning ~ no matter what day of the week it is.
Drinking too much just before bed time will not help you to sleep either ~ you might pass out and be dead to the world for a few hours, but you will wake up disgustingly early, feeling very thirsty, and looking like something the cat dragged in. It’s best not to touch any booze for an hour or so before you go to bed ~ instead drink some water, water is good for you.
Using your tablet or laptop late at night isn’t good either, the blue light fries your brain and that stops you from having a good sleep. Playing computer games late at night means that your brain isn’t relaxed when you go to bed, a part of your mind is still concentrating on whatever game you were playing. Using social media late at night is worse, part of your mind will be racing with what you’ve just learned and said.
If your bedroom is too warm, not dark enough, and not quiet enough, then you will not sleep well either. You need a dark, cool, quiet, and peaceful environment to sleep well. If your partner keeps you awake a night; snoring, being restless, or whatever, then one of you should sleep in a different bedroom.
You need between 6 an 8 hours of good sleep every single night of the week. If you get less than 6 hours sleep then you will be running on adrenaline he following day.
Some say that they don’t need much sleep, they do fine with four or five hours a night. And that sleep is just for losers. All I know is that people who don’t get enough sleep look really old.
eating a narcotic laden apple to get to sleep might just be a bad idea
a close and harmonious relationship based on acceptance and understanding
It’s not necessary to build rapport with a woman if all you want to do is have sex with her ~ but it certainly helps. Just casual sex does not require rapport. Instead, true rapport is the indefinable process of accepting and understanding one another, and thereby becoming comfortable together. If you have true rapport with a woman, then she will trust you, follow you, and believe in you. For this to happen she needs to understand you and be able to rely upon you. Ergo you have to become consistent, reliable, and dependable.
As it goes, women are more natural at building rapport than are most men ~ they are usually more open, more understanding, and more communicative than the average male. Women tend to have more empathy and be more interested in relationships, whereas men are usually just interested in sex.
To build rapport with a woman, be someone she actually wants to be around ~ and that doesn’t mean just spending a lot of money on her, (but that often helps). Avoid being selfish and talking about yourself, instead listen to her and try and learn about her wants, needs, desires, and dreams. Always remain calm, and speak slowly and softly. Be warm, accepting, and understanding. And, never fall into the common male mistake of thinking that you have to educate her about something she has no interest in whatsoever.
In Neuro Linguistic Programming, and other psychological / interpersonal approaches to communication and building rapport, there are a number of techniques that even a geek can learn and use. These include; mirroring, leading, and pacing. In all honesty, these are artificial techniques best left to the salesman who wants to up his closure rate. However, this stuff is powerful, and it does work on women.
The most basic and powerful way to connect with a woman is to listen to her. Just listen, and don’t interrupt her because she will not like that. Perhaps the most important thing you can give her is your undivided attention. And after that; acceptance, respect, and understanding.
Some say that it is impossible to be successful with a woman without building rapport. And that you need to spend time understanding what she is thinking. All I know is that sometimes I have to try just that bit harder.
here’s looking at you kid
Embrace the journey of getting older.
It’s time that I stopped bemoaning what I have lost, and started to enjoy what I have gained. It’s time I stopped crying over the fact that my life isn’t perfect. And it’s time I accepted that sometimes life is difficult and painful.
Since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don’t. Emotional pain and numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life. ~ Martha Beck
Getting older is a good thing, I need to open my eyes to the amazing opportunities it affords me. I can go anywhere and do anything without having to worry about money, time, work, or any of those other responsibilities I had when I was a younger guy. Instead of thinking about my past I should focus on what I have gained; insight, wisdom, experience, and a myriad of new opportunities for adventure.
I can act young ~ there is no need for me to retreat into doddering senility. But, I have lived through my youth, and there is no need for me to endlessly repeat the mistakes I made then. I can be a very mature guy and still have a youthful and joyful outlook on life.
However, I need to accept that some things have changed, and live my life the way it is today, not the way it used to be years and years ago. For example ~ I have more money than I can sensibly spend in the time I have left to enjoy it. And, I am never going to bench-press 250 pounds again.
Some say that I live a really great life. And that if I just let myself enjoy life as it is then things would become even better for me. All I know is that I have some very good friends who really care about me.
Marmaduke is always there for me
Be steadfast in your love, and honest in your heart.
bravery courtesy gallantry
civility chastity celibacy decency
dependability desirability dignity honesty
humility intimacy fidelity integrity loyalty morality
modesty nobility purity probity reliability sincerity veracity
immoral sexuality sensuality physicality promiscuity dishonesty
the truth of love is in a rose
A firm sense of right and wrong isn’t fashionable these days.
It seems that unless I always agree with what others think, say, and do ~ then I’m wrong, bad, reactionary, and backward. Worse than that, if I happen to think that what other people have done isn’t necessarily ethical or sensible, then somehow I’m attacking them. I’m not, I just disagree.
Look at what the majority of people are saying and doing, and do the exact opposite, and you’ll probably never go wrong for as long as you live. ~ Earl Nightingale.
Thinking and doing the opposite of what the majority is doing or has done isn’t about being different for the sake of being different. There are lots of times that agreeing with everyone else is the right thing to do. There are lots of times when the well-trodden path is the right one for me to take.
The challenge for me is to know when to take the road less travelled.
Thinking, saying, and doing the opposite of what others would have me do is quite likely to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s scary, lonely, and exposes me to the harshest criticisms. It’s never easy to be seen to be going against the grain, and ignoring the attitudes and advice of my friends, family, and wider society. But, I’m used to being uncomfortable and the odd one out.
I feel no need to justify my ethics, attitudes, and actions ~ no matter the slings and arrows of discontent thrown against me.
Doing the exact opposite of the norm, or refusing to change who and what I am, does not always achieve the results, goals, and dreams I want. But, I have discovered that just repeating what others do, or agreeing with what others think, doesn’t always work either.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein.
There are some people it would be much easier to always agree with. It would probably make me much happier just to agree with them and go along with what they like.
It isn’t going to happen.
Some say that it’s good to be liberated and do whatever you like regardless of the consequences. And, that if you don’t agree with the latest and most fashionable opinion, then you’re wrong and reactionary. All I know is that I have the strongest possible self-awareness and self-discipline, and I’m happy with that.
sometimes, a real man needs to take the road less travelled
It is not the length of life that matters, but the depth of life.
What would you do if you knew that you only had one month to live? Or just one day ~ until noon?
Some say that they would finally say goodbye to all of their friends and family, put their affairs in order, and quietly sit down and wait for the grim reaper to call.
Others say they would tick off as many things on their bucket list as they could. They forget that wherever they go they take their whole life along with them.
And then there are those facing certain death who retreat into denial with religion and a bottle of booze.
Not that I believe that I am anywhere near the end of days, but I’ve had to seriously accept that my time on this planet is numbered, and the count-down started the day I was conceived.
I get the feeling that I don’t belong here, that everything good is so hard to hear, they’re just not listening. I’ve walked so far along the warrior’s path that sometimes I aim too high. I get the feeling that I am among the lucky few who has been able to accept that winter comes eventually.
So, with the assumption that I have 28 Days to Live, how does that change what’s left of my life?
- Money is worthless.
- Possessions are useless.
- Unhappiness is pointless.
- Stale relationships don’t matter at all.
- Negativity and judgementalism are a waste of time.
Only people, places, and things I do that bring me immediate happiness, contentment, and serenity deserve any place in what’s left of my life. Making other people happy may give me vicarious satisfaction, but that matters not one jot. Nothing lasts forever, people change their minds, and today is just another day. Living life to the fullest, seizing the day, means that I will only be around those who can fill my life with a kaleidoscope of colour.
My castle is in the clouds, and if others don’t want to go there then they can fuck off and have a nice day without me.
Some men say that she holds their heart in their hands. And, that if they can’t have her their life can never be complete. All I know is that it will be all right without her, I will be as strong as I can be.
a man with 28 days to live should perhaps find a woman who has fabulous legs
Self-censorship is a lie to yourself;
one should never be afraid to say what you think.
I am a firm believer in not allowing the approval, or disapproval, of others to influence what one believes, thinks, says, writes, or does. I am also a liar, because today, yesterday, and for a few days / weeks / months before that I have not been true to my own beliefs.
My lies to you all are lies of omission, in that I am not prepared to tell you the whole truth about some things, and I am not prepared to tell you anything at all about some other things, and there are some things I will just completely deny. It seems that everyone has dark secrets, and everyone lies without thought.
As this is by way of a confessional I will tell you why I’m making this admission.
Today I was going to publish one of a few completed posts that I have just decided I shall never publish. These included;
- Sex, Lust, and Whores. Most women sell sex; most of them just don’t take money from everyone who wants them.
- Masturbation and Fetishes. Only boys masturbate, or so the myth goes, because a woman touching herself is immoral.
- Love Wars. Love and war, it seems, work by exactly the same rules.
- Goddess of Sexual Love. Sexual love is powerful, it can bring women to their knees.
- Casual Sex and Immorality. In an imperfect world you could fuck anyone and everyone without thinking about the consequences.
All the above posts I’ve irrevocably put into my trash were of a highly sexual nature, impinging upon the real truths of most interpersonal relationships.
The face is the mirror of the mind, and the eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. ~ St. Jerome.
Some say that evaluation of the truth is not an absolute, but a matter of piecing together bits of information to form a picture. And that most people’s idea of the truth is based on their preconceived ideas and prejudices. All know is that, sometimes, the real truth is best left unsaid.
the most common fetishes are depicted here
smoking, heels, stockings, submission, mystery, mastery
She was Purgatory incarnate, promising Heaven and delivering Hell
every time I go back there is the same as the one before
every journey has me wondering why I desire her more
her hot breath of adoration a mere promise of scorn
Goddess of love incarnate, and yet she is a whore
beautiful, mysterious, wild and free
gods and men have enjoyed thee
Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,
but from wanting to control it. ~ Khalil Gibran
To a greater or lesser degree we all suffer from what the medical profession call endogenous anxiety / depression ~ which is a complicated way of saying that your therapist / psychiatrist / doctor has no idea why you sometimes feel bad and sometimes go off the rails.
I firmly believe that the underlying cause of all the anxiety, distress, depressions, compulsions, and weaknesses we sometimes suffer from is the direct result of the programming we received before our conscious minds were developed enough to filter out all the bad crap we were subjected to. Even before you were born, your subconscious mind, body, and spirit was receiving the shitty, negative programs you still live by today. Remember, your subconscious mind is running things for about 90% of the time.
After conception, right up to the age of around 7, your mind, body, and spirit were being programmed by everything in your environment ~ especially your parents, siblings, other members of your extended family, teachers, TV, & etc. & etc. And you know what? It’s all the bad, negative, and defective stuff that really sticks.
The likelihood is that your subconscious mind is full of stuff like; ‘the world is a dangerous place’ ‘people are not to be trusted’ ‘you have to struggle to survive’ and ‘you have to fight to get what you need, want, and desire’.
I also firmly believe that our inner distress is why we may struggle with addictions and compulsions like; booze, casual sex, a bad diet, drugs, health, lack of exercise, money problems, smoking, impulsive behaviours, and all those defects of character we might have, or that others say we have.
How can we fix this? Not through willpower, self-discipline, nor self-control. The only way I know to escape the inner distress, anxiety, depression, compulsions, and addictions we honestly accept and admit we suffer from is through a long time, (maybe years), of acting as if these problems and bad feelings did not exist. Or as they say in 12 Step Groups fake it to make it.
Some say that only the weak do things that they really shouldn’t. And that anyone can cure their own addictions and defects of character if they just use a little willpower and self-control. All I know is that every worthwhile person I have ever met has suffered from profound inner distress
your subconscious mind can become your own prison