Inner Distress and Compulsions
Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,
but from wanting to control it. ~ Khalil Gibran
To a greater or lesser degree we all suffer from what the medical profession call endogenous anxiety / depression ~ which is a complicated way of saying that your therapist / psychiatrist / doctor has no idea why you sometimes feel bad and sometimes go off the rails.
I firmly believe that the underlying cause of all the anxiety, distress, depressions, compulsions, and weaknesses we sometimes suffer from is the direct result of the programming we received before our conscious minds were developed enough to filter out all the bad crap we were subjected to. Even before you were born, your subconscious mind, body, and spirit was receiving the shitty, negative programs you still live by today. Remember, your subconscious mind is running things for about 90% of the time.
After conception, right up to the age of around 7, your mind, body, and spirit were being programmed by everything in your environment ~ especially your parents, siblings, other members of your extended family, teachers, TV, & etc. & etc. And you know what? It’s all the bad, negative, and defective stuff that really sticks.
The likelihood is that your subconscious mind is full of stuff like; ‘the world is a dangerous place’ ‘people are not to be trusted’ ‘you have to struggle to survive’ and ‘you have to fight to get what you need, want, and desire’.
I also firmly believe that our inner distress is why we may struggle with addictions and compulsions like; booze, casual sex, a bad diet, drugs, health, lack of exercise, money problems, smoking, impulsive behaviours, and all those defects of character we might have, or that others say we have.
How can we fix this? Not through willpower, self-discipline, nor self-control. The only way I know to escape the inner distress, anxiety, depression, compulsions, and addictions we honestly accept and admit we suffer from is through a long time, (maybe years), of acting as if these problems and bad feelings did not exist. Or as they say in 12 Step Groups fake it to make it.
Some say that only the weak do things that they really shouldn’t. And that anyone can cure their own addictions and defects of character if they just use a little willpower and self-control. All I know is that every worthwhile person I have ever met has suffered from profound inner distress
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
your subconscious mind can become your own prison
The Invention of Memory
You can close your eyes to reality, but not to your memories.
In a very full life I have known some people with very bad memories, they just can’t or won’t remember anything much. I’ve been told by a close friend that it’s possible to completely forget years and years of your early childhood. And, I’ve known people with false memories, manufactured memories, and memories that were implanted into their subconscious mind. Thoughts and memories are just chemical changes and electrical impulses and charges inside your brain ~ memories are easily altered.
A memory of the past which is either non-existent, false, manufactured, or implanted is often the result of alcohol abuse, the abuse of prescription drugs, or using any street drugs at all, especially marijuana. Booze and drugs tend to destroy the memory vitamins B1 and B12, and the negative effects on memory can go on for years after the heavy drinking or drug taking has stopped. Booze, in particular, robs the body of B vitamins. Lack of B1 and B12 has other very bad effects; slowness, confusion, fatigue, irritability, apathy, poor sleep, insomnia, and shortness of breath.
But then, all memories are untrue, because we see the past through the prism of the present ~ all of our present-day character defects and positive character traits change how we remember the past.
Our experiences of pleasure, ecstasy, pain, suffering, and loss extend far beyond our personal recollections. When we tell others of our memories, then they will react, remember, and retell our memories back to us. And when we tell others of our past we cannot ever tell the whole truth.
Sometimes we are afraid to admit our past, and sometimes we are ashamed to tell the whole truth. Also, we can never fully remember the truth of our past. Our incomplete and inaccurate memories of the past go on to tint our picture of the present, and our expectations of the future. Sometimes what we think we remember is an event that’s actually happening right now, or we expect to happen in the future, or will happen in the future. A memory of the past may be nothing of the sort ~ especially if you use alcohol or drugs. Smoking doesn’t help much with remembering things either.
Some say they can’t remember names, or faces. And, that they’re always forgetting where they left their car keys. All I know is that I’m cursed with an eidetic memory.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net.
drinking and smoking are no good for your memory and brain health
Lust, Greed, and Addiction
I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. ~ Mark Twain
Lust, Greed, and Addiction. These are deadly sins ~ deadly because lust, greed, and addiction can all drag you down to a rock-bottom more horrible than your worst nightmare, humiliate you, make you ill, and then kill you. Lust can give you all kinds of STD, take you to dangerous places, where you could meet some very nasty people. Greed can make you take risky decisions with money, accept all kinds of bad financial advice, and ultimately take every penny and asset you have, including your home. And addiction is more terribly dreadful than you could possibly imagine. If you are a woman, and addicted to anything, you will most likely do some sordid things just to feed your addiction.
It can all begin innocently enough, a date with a co-worker, regularly sitting at the bar in your favourite pub, losing a couple of hundred dollars in Las Vegas. But it may only be a matter of time before you’re the bum on the streets, or the easy slut sitting at the bar in your favourite pub, who’s just looking for a younger guy to fuck her like an animal.
The sad thing is, that once you’re on the train to destruction, there’s usually no getting off until the last stop. Almost everyone I’ve ever known who has taken that ride is now dead, often horribly so, well before their time should have been up. The list of illnesses and causes of death that lust, greed, and addiction will give you is long and horrific; insanity, renal failure, wet brain, suicide, pneumonia, cirrhosis, cardiovascular failure, cancers, accidents, gastrointestinal disorders, blood disorders, pancreatitis, malnutrition, AIDS, random violence, domestic violence, brutal rape, beriberi…..
What can you do if you have lots of casual sex, constantly think about ways of making money, gamble, drink too much and / or take drugs? Well, you can’t stop on your own. So get help before you are utterly rejected by everyone who cares for you. Try Alcoholic Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous….. It’s pointless going to your doctor, the average doctor is as much use helping with these problems as is a cement life jacket.
Some say that they drink, take drugs, gamble, make rash decisions, and have casual sex because of too much stress, worry, and fear. And that they could clean up their act anytime they like. All I know is that almost everyone is stressed, worried, and a little afraid, but they don’t all die an early, disgusting death.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
just an easy slut, drinking alone, only one friend in the world, a barman
human nature
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. ~ Albert Einstein
Smoking and drinking are incredibly stupid aspects of human nature.
Most people are constructive, positive, and trustworthy most of the time. However, practically all of us will have done something dishonest, disreputable, or negative in our lifetimes ~ maybe more than once. And then there are some people who are irredeemably negative, disruptive, dishonest, and lazy all of the time.
One or more of that ilk broke into my apartment building last night, smashing the lock on one of the street doors in the process. Despite there being CCTV cameras monitoring the street outside this building, and further internal CCTV cameras inside, I hold out no hopes that any miscreant will ever be made to pay for this offence.
Another aspect of human nature is that it feels just too difficult to track down and punish petty offenders against the laws of property and human decency. We can all be lazy, indolent, and uncaring some of the time.
The main thing about human nature is that a leopard never changes its spots, (well, almost never). A person who is alcoholic, an addict, thief, liar, irredeemably negative, cheats, gambles ~ will always, always be that horrible person.
Some say that there is a really good person in all of us. And that given a chance we can all be a superior being. All I know is that some people aren’t even worth giving half a chance.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
some are forever bastards and sluts
you are your own enemy
We are each our own devil, and we make the world our hell.
You decide what to eat, how much alcohol you’re going to drink, how much rest and sleep you are going to get, whether you’re going to smoke cigarettes, how much fresh air and exercise you’re going to have, whether or not you’re going to take drugs (illegal drugs, prescription drugs, and over the counter medication), and how much stress you’re going to put yourself under before you stop and maybe meditate for a while.
And, more likely than not, you know what you should be doing for a healthier and longer life, as opposed to what you are actually doing with your life every day. The chances are that every day you’re putting your body, mind, and spirit under extreme stress by doing exactly the wrong things on purpose.
Our bodies are designed to self-heal, but if we keep putting our body, mind, and spirit under stress, then we are going to degenerate, get sick, get old, look old, become unfit and overweight, and die painfully long before we should.
Yet I know that everyone reading this wants to be fit, healthy, and happy ~ so why do so many people subject themselves to so much fucking crap, every single day?
- Be your own best carer. Too many of us spend too much time taking care of other people, when what they should be doing is practicing self-care and putting themselves first. If you make yourself ill, unfit, mentally sick, stressed-out, then you’re not going to be of much use to anyone else.
- Get back to nature. Get outdoors, get some fresh air and sunshine, breathe deeply of clean air, drink at least 3 pints of fresh clean water a day, enjoy the far horizons. If you spend a lot of time indoors, using a computer, drinking coffee, then the tiny electrical signals that actually operate your mind and body get screwed, so you’re tired and can’t think properly by the end of the day.
- Get plenty of sleep. Most people need 7 to 9 hours of good quality deep REM sleep. Don’t fall asleep in a chair in front of the TV. Make your bedroom a blackout zone. Go to bed the day before you get up. Don’t drink too much booze right before bedtime.
- Eat the right amount of good quality, healthy, organic food. Avoid processed foods. Drink those 3 pints of good clean water every day. Eat a high water content diet.
- Stop sabotaging yourself. Commit to self-care and practice it every single day. If you are addicted to anything: cigarettes, booze, drugs, gambling, binge eating, self-harm, anger, stress then find a cure. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to recover from your addiction.
Some say that they hate themselves. And, some people act as though they really do hate themselves. All I know is that these days I am a very cool guy, living a really great life.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
recently I stayed at the best B & B in all America
Gain Self-Belief
Each time we face our fears we gain confidence, self-belief, and freedom.
People have a strong tendency to sabotage themselves when things are going really well in their lives.
It doesn’t really matter how smart you are, how grounded you are, or how much money you have, one of these days you will probably get to a place where everything is cool and fine, and then you’ll fuck foul it up with drink, drugs, prescription and over the counter medication, smoking, gambling, binge eating, casual sex….. It seems as though we have an in-built belief that we are not really worthy, or good enough, or nice enough to have all that success and all those good feelings. We aren’t comfortable with standing out among our family, friends, and peers ~ and this belief that we don’t deserve our own success is something that we learn in early childhood, before we are seven years old. Our parents, care-givers, and siblings are to blame for that.
Also, very early on in life, many of us learn to believe that we are unworthy of love. We learn that we don’t deserve to be loved by others, we learn how not to love ourselves, we learn to believe that we don’t deserve to get all the good stuff that life has to offer. We continually judge ourselves, criticise ourselves, and fall prey to negative thinking and negative beliefs.
In the extreme these negative feelings and beliefs lead to something called Borderline Personality Disorder, and that creates no end of troubles; paranoia, fear of abandonment, addiction, boozing, reckless behaviours, depression, bi-polar disorder…..
It takes real genius, strong will, self-honesty, openness, and willingness to escape from these dark negative places.
First of all we need to understand love and what it means. The belief that stops us from fully embracing the love of others and accepting self-love is the negative expectation that it’s all going to turn to crap eventually, and whoever offers love to us is going to abandon us anyway. Usually that means we will push others away from us, and the denial of love becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The same things happen with anything and everything else we want, need, and desire; money, health, enlightenment, friendships, personal growth, freedom to do what we really want to do…..
And all of these negative beliefs and thought patterns are imposed upon our subconscious minds in childhood, which of course means we learn to believe all this crap from our parents, the rest of our families, other care-givers, teachers, older children…..
To escape from an unsuccessful, unfulfilled, ultimately unhappy life we need to be willing to throw aside our past and instead build a future which truly reflects the unique, lovable, loving person we are. If you talk about your past you are just reliving all the negative crap, no matter what gloss your subconscious mind tries to put on all the shit you used to do.
Most people aren’t truly willing to take that monumental leap ~ in fact I don’t know anyone who is.
Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you always got.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
you may believe all this smoking, drinking, and sitting at the bar is cool
Health and Well-Being
To enjoy a comfortable and happy life ~ stay fit and healthy.
If you want to live a great life, then you first have to show up. If you want to live a great life, then first of all you have to drag yourself out of bed at a decent time in the mornings. If you want to live a great life, then don’t spend your time smoking, getting high, drinking, over-eating, or having casual sex.
That’s unless you think that sleeping late, hanging around in bars, taking drugs, and fucking casual pick-ups constitutes living a great life. Trust me ~ it doesn’t. Live down there in the gutter like a slut or bum and you’ll die young and unhappy, and nobody at all will care.
Others may think that their lives are good, even though they spend all their time at home alone on social media, or on sex sites, or watching porn, or ‘enjoying’ other disreputable online activities. Those people are quite likely to go from one day to another unwashed, unshaven, without putting on a clean change of clothes, hair uncombed, and if they’re a woman without a touch of makeup. Their place probably looks like a pigsty, and they most likely stink too.
To live a truly great life we first of all have to be fit enough, healthy enough, and mentally alert.
And there are some easy steps to take;
- Stop using drugs ~ and that includes pot and unnecessary medication, such as sleeping aids.
- Stop smoking ~ I saw a documentary the other day, and a lot of older people were interviewed, people who had lived in the generation when everyone smoked cigarettes. Fuck! They looked horrific, especially the women. Smoking destroys your looks, your health, and then it kills you.
- Stop drinking so much ~ you may think you’re intelligent, sensible, and funny after several drinks. You are deluding yourself. After a few drinks you’re just embarrassing.
- Go to bed at a decent time every night, and get up at a decent time in the morning ~ every fucking day.
- Eat healthy ~ there are a million diet suggestions on the internet, for example try the Mediterranean Diet.
- Get some fresh air and sunshine ~ just don’t try to be one of the children of the night.
- Exercise ~ preferably in the fresh air and sunshine. For example, try walking 10,000 steps a day. Get out of your fucking car and walk to the store for a change.
- Learn to meditate ~ yoga, and walking meditation are good.
- Have some pride in yourself, learn to like and love yourself, and stop lying to yourself and others.
Everything I have written above is true. I should know, I’ve been to all of those bad places. Today I am really cool guy, living a great life, and I follow the simple programme I have outlined above.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
always hanging out in the moonlight is just for vampires and fools
Wants, Needs, Desires, and Dreams
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
Unless we do something nothing happens, and if nothing changes then nothing changes. I can sit here and think about what I want out of life, what I need to keep me safe and healthy, and I can dream about the women and adventures I might desire, but unless I take some positive steps I most likely will never get anything on my wish list.
For much of my life I would even come up with well thought out reasons and excuses why I couldn’t have or get what I wanted. I didn’t have enough money, there just wasn’t the time, she doesn’t like me anyway, I’m too busy working…..
The truth was that I just didn’t have the courage or the realism to even try to get what I really wanted out of life. Nor did I have the focus or psychological adaptability to change what I wanted, if what I first wanted was clearly impossible. We can’t all be a rock star, and the truth is I never wanted to be. But there are some things that I wanted from a relationship, and I didn’t have the focus to make that work, nor did I have the guts to just walk away when it was clear that my relationships weren’t giving me what I wanted, needed, and desired.
However, somewhere along the way things changed for me. I wanted to be materially and financially prosperous enough that I could stop working for a living, and instead live a great life. That has happened. I wanted to stop being a miserable, judgemental jerk, and instead be a cool and charismatic guy. That has happened too.
What I want, need, and desire, right now, is to improve my relationship with a female friend, and I’ll work on that. If the relationship doesn’t improve in the ways I need, then I now have the emotional strength to just walk away.
Some say that we each have dreams and personal ambitions we want to fulfil. And, that we will always face great opposition to seeing our dreams come true. All I know is that if I don’t try to make my dreams come true, than nobody else will make them come true for me.
~
Jack Collier
jackcoĺlier7@talktalk.net
drinking and smoking will kill you,
but you already knew that
10 things successful people do
Life can take us down unexpected and difficult paths.
Through painful experience, I have learned that to be very successful in your life, there are some things we must do. Most of them are difficult, bordering on the impossible, but all of these 10 things listed below are actually achievable.
There are two types of people who will tell that you cannot make a difference in this world; those who are afraid to try, and those who are afraid you will succeed. ~ Ray Goforth.
I firmly believe that these are the most important of the rules we must follow in order to overcome life’s challenges, and ultimately win out:
- Stay Healthy. It’s almost impossible to be successful if you’re often ill, spending time in bed, or in hospital.
- Overcome Addictions. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Gambling, Smoking….. to name perhaps the most dangerous of all possible addictions. If you drink too much you will lose almost everything. If you drink and gamble you will lose everything. If you drink, gamble, smoke, and take drugs, you will lose everything, and then you’ll die ~ horribly
- Stay Within the Law. If you get involved with illegal activities, including taking drugs, drink driving, illegal gambling ~ sometime or other you will have a run in with The Police. A criminal record does your chances of living your dream life no good at all.
- Say Goodbye to Toxic People. Toxic relationships will make you unhappy, corrupt your mind and soul, and prevent you from realising how much better things can be.
- Seek Out, and Take, Good Advice. If you’re physically ill see a doctor, if you’re suffering mentally see a counsellor, and if you’re just struggling seek out your closest and wisest friend. Whatever advice you’re given, really take it to heart.
- Do Not Waste Time or Money. Too many people throw their money away without thought. Almost everyone wastes their time on unimportant activities. A fool and his money are soon parted. Time is the most precious resource we have.
- Stay Romantically and Sexually Faithful. Affairs, casual sex, multiple partners, using sex-workers, are all going to waste your time and money. You will get into trouble, and if you’re married, you will be asked for a divorce.
- Keep Learning. Nobody can know everything, but most people don’t even try to improve their mind and knowledge once they finish their formal education. The internet and a million books are out their, and something you learn may just give you the edge you need to become successful.
- Focus On Things You Can Control. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And, don’t let me try to change people, because that never works.
- Follow Your Dreams. Dreams are the fuel for your success. Without dreams there can never be any meaningful and lasting success in your life.
Some very smart people can ignore some of these rules, some of the time, and still be successful. But you can’t ignore all of these rules, all of the time, and still have a hope in hell of making a success of your life. And, never worry about failure, just make certain that you pick yourself up and start again.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Marmaduke is a success,
and he loves Bentleys and Jaguars
Tunes on Tuesday ~ dating a witch
Dating a witch is a bed of black roses.
Her voice was a voice that witches have,
that tear at a man’s deepest desire,
she spoke and in that bright flame,
my soul was consumed in her fires.
~
Please listen responsibly.
It seems that I know 3 witches, and they are all wayward. How sweet it is.
A kiss from a witch in the moonlight leads a man forever to his unrequited love’s doom.
Some say that a witch will always have cats. And that a kiss from a witch can enchant a man forever. All I know is that I’d rather date an evil witch than any ordinary woman.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalknet
some say that a wytch will breathe fire
