you don’t lie to the person that you love
she was carnal
and I truly adored her
I never knew the real woman
she walked on eggshells around me
why do I adore a false chimera, an avatar?
and she never tells the truth
’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all
this is what becomes
ashes to ashes
iron to rust to dust
love to hot lust
strong sexual fires
knowing he must
possess her always
perverted sexual possession
disgusts the right-thinking man
he loved her against all reason, against all hope, against happiness
I remember when Leo Sayer used to sing wearing a Pierrot costume. I thought that was pretty cool, at the time. But have you ever been in love…..?
I know all there is to know about unrequited love. It hurts.
Please listen with compassion.
the tears of a clown
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine
I didn’t expect her to do that at the dinner table
One of the reasons my life was such a mess was that I had some expectations from a relationship that were no longer being met. I was and am far too attached to a woman, and being in love with a woman always leads to expectations, and in my experience expectations always leads to bitter disappointments. Those disappointments were making me very confused, is it infatuation, lust, desire, love, an emotional need, or a dysfunctional friendship? And how does a normal guy find a way through that Dionysian maze?
Expectation is the root of all heartache. ~ Shakespeare
No matter how hard I tried I could not free myself of the expectation that I deserved an emotional, sensual and sexual friendship where the love I thought I felt was returned freely and fully. That is the big danger of having expectations, often they are unrealistic, often they lead us to believe that we deserve something or someone, and quite often our expectations are a million miles from the reality of any given situation.
Also expectations are passive, we don’t need to actually do anything to have huge expectations. Expectations are the result of feelings, and I should know that feelings are often false and the result of twisted programming hard wired into our subconscious mind before we were seven years of age. Feelings are not real, and our feelings often have fuck all to do with what’s going on in the real world.
We should never blame people for disappointing us, we should blame ourselves for expecting too much from them, or expecting things from them that they can’t give to us, or don’t want to give us. We should never blame others for our own negative feelings of anger, jealousy, misery, resentment, sadness….. Our feelings belong only to ourselves, we should own them, and if our feelings are distressing us don’t try to change the world, that’s too difficult, we should change ourselves instead.
Expectations can be as trivial as expecting a nice day, as important as expecting a pay rise at work, or as destructive as thinking you love someone who doesn’t love you. Unrequited love is incredibly painful, trust me, I know.
We always want what we can’t have, life is so cruel that way.
Some say that if we don’t expect the good things from life then all we will ever get is dross. And that we have a right to expect to get what we want the most. All I know is that I’m still trying to find a way to stop loving someone. You’d think a man would know.
and I expected a great beach-front hotel
she spoke to him with words, he looked at her with feelings
can you just be friends with me?
was the question she asked him
since I get no choice I guess yes
are you really sure about that?
she asked, very sweetly smiling
twisting the knife a little more
he’s only a second-best friend
it’s a real shame he’s in love
even worse that it had to be her
but love has no common sense
it’s just the road to Hell
love and desire going nowhere
sometimes smoking is a highly sexual act
most will find this picture erotic
Beautiful, and yet sisters cannot mend a broken heart
I am so lucky to have known such a beautiful woman, that held me tight in her heart.
We have been friends for such a long, long time, it meant so much.
Some times I just don’t know anything about love.
I thought we were made for each other.
Maybe it was never meant to last.
Maybe I was wrong to trust.
always the same that’s all
it’s just a shame,
seduction begins with the pictures you create in her mind
some say that there are many sexes
and that you don’t have to choose
all I know is that most people like sex
sometimes, like now, I’m spreading myself a little bit thin
alone again, naturally
The last few days have a reminder to me that; when I’m good, I’m far too good for my own good. The very cool gentleman at the core of my true persona is kind, generous, supportive, understanding, and totally taken for granted ~ especially by women. Some women seem to think that if a guy is kind, generous, supportive, and understanding, then they don’t have to try very hard to keep him hanging around at their beck and call. On the other hand some women will do almost anything to keep a real bastard in their lives.
I have no intention of turning into a real bastard, but neither am I going to live on the crumbs that some people seem to think will keep me enraptured enough to sick around.
I am reminded of the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola;
to give and not to count the cost
to fight and not to heed the wounds
to toil and not to seek for rest
to labour and not to ask for any reward
Well, I am no plaster saint, and although from time to time those words could have been an accurate description of parts of my life, I’m walking away from all that.
Some also seem to believe that a man’s friendship and love should be courtly and unconditional ~ which is not how women operate at all. In general women are hard-wired to get everything they possibly can from a man, with as little cost to themselves as they can get away with. In general a hell of a lot of women are just an inch away from being a real bitch.
I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~ Madonna
Love songs, love stories, romantic tales of the knights of yore, all talk about the man who will love a woman more than life, unconditionally and eternally, and then they live happily ever after together. Only in reality it doesn’t happen like that. A really good man might give his all to a woman unconditionally, only to have to watch her walk off into the sunset with some real bad boy. I have been on the losing side of that more than once.
And some women truly do give their friendship, kindness, understanding, and support, asking little in return, other than reliability, steadfastness, and courtly love.
Okay, that’s the end of today’s hurt. And, at least I have one very good and loyal female friend, although she does live about 5,000 miles away.
Some say that when a man loves a woman he should love her unconditionally. And that a man should give his all to any woman who has befriended him. All I know is that I have never made promises lightly, but whatever promises I have made are just about to get broken.
sometimes survival is all you have