Category Archives: Sex

she walked on eggshells

you don’t lie to the person that you love

~

skilled liar

she was carnal

and I truly adored her

I never knew the real woman

she walked on eggshells around me

why do I adore a false chimera, an avatar?

~

jack collier

jackcollier@talktalk.net

 

and she never tells the truth

 

 

Sexual Infatuation

’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all

~

this is what becomes

ashes to ashes

iron to rust to dust

desperate desires

love to hot lust

strong sexual fires

knowing he must

possess her always

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

perverted sexual possession

disgusts the right-thinking man

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Leo Sayer

he loved her against all reason, against all hope, against happiness

I remember when Leo Sayer used to sing wearing a Pierrot costume.  I thought that was pretty cool, at the time.  But have you ever been in love…..?

I know all there is to know about unrequited love.  It hurts.

Please listen with compassion.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the tears of a clown

The Danger of Expectations

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine

I didn’t expect her to do that at the dinner table

One of the reasons my life was such a mess was that I had some expectations from a relationship that were no longer being met.  I was and am far too attached to a woman, and being in love with a woman always leads to expectations, and in my experience expectations always leads to bitter disappointments.  Those disappointments were making me very confused, is it infatuation, lust, desire, love, an emotional need, or a dysfunctional friendship?  And how does a normal guy find a way through that Dionysian maze?

Expectation is the root of all heartache.  ~  Shakespeare

No matter how hard I tried I could not free myself of the expectation that I deserved an emotional, sensual and sexual friendship where the love I thought I felt was returned freely and fully.  That is the big danger of having expectations, often they are unrealistic, often they lead us to believe that we deserve something or someone, and quite often our expectations are a million miles from the reality of any given situation.

Also expectations are passive, we don’t need to actually do anything to have huge expectations.  Expectations are the result of feelings, and I should know that feelings are often false and the result of twisted programming hard wired into our subconscious mind before we were seven years of age.  Feelings are not real, and our feelings often have fuck all to do with what’s going on in the real world.

We should never blame people for disappointing us, we should blame ourselves for expecting too much from them, or expecting things from them that they can’t give to us, or don’t want to give us.  We should never blame others for our own negative feelings of anger, jealousy, misery, resentment, sadness…..  Our feelings belong only to ourselves, we should own them, and if our feelings are distressing us don’t try to change the world, that’s too difficult, we should change ourselves instead.

Expectations can be as trivial as expecting a nice day, as important as expecting a pay rise at work, or as destructive as thinking you love someone who doesn’t love you.  Unrequited love is incredibly painful, trust me, I know.

We always want what we can’t have, life is so cruel that way.

Some say that if we don’t expect the good things from life then all we will ever get is dross.  And that we have a right to expect to get what we want the most.  All I know is that I’m still trying to find a way to stop loving someone.  You’d think a man would know.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

and I expected a great beach-front hotel

Friends Without Benefits

she spoke to him with words, he looked at her with feelings

~

can you just be friends with me?

was the question she asked him

since I get no choice I guess yes

are you really sure about that?

she asked, very sweetly smiling

twisting the knife a little more

he’s only a second-best friend

it’s a real shame he’s in love

even worse that it had to be her

but love has no common sense

it’s just the road to Hell

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

love and desire going nowhere

Monochrome Monday ~ Erotic Smoking

sometimes smoking is a highly sexual act

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Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most will find this picture erotic

Homosexuality

mental health has nothing to do with being gay

If anyone in Western Europe or North America has a problem with homosexuality then it most likely comes down to their own fears and prejudices.  The plain fact is that in most civilised societies homosexuality is now a perfectly acceptable practice, as is lesbianism, bisexuality, or being transsexual.  Some draw the line at men being very camp and wearing makeup, but that’s more a question of taste rather than being bigoted against gay men.  But there are some places where it would be very risky to be openly gay.

In the 50s and 60s the life of a gay man was a secret, in fact homosexuality was illegal in England until 1967 ~ you could go to prison for being actively gay.  The situation was much more complicated in the USA with sodomy being illegal throughout the USA until 1962.  After that various states became more liberal at various times up until 2006 when Missouri repealed it’s. law against homosexual conduct.  Virginia had laws against lewd and lascivious cohabitation until 2013.

But, if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual there are still whole swathes of the world where to openly show it will get you thrown into jail for a long time; Saudi Arabia, Russia, most of Africa…..

The plain fact is that if you’re not straight keep it strictly in private unless you positively KNOW that where you are fully accepts homosexuality and all the other LGBT / LGBTIQA practices ~ and even then you’re sometimes going to come across the occasional bigot who just likes gay bashing.

Personally, I fully accept homosexuality and bisexuality, but I would prefer that gay men didn’t kiss while I was around.  That doesn’t mean I’d say anything to them, but I’d probably get up and leave wherever I was.  Most straight men, myself included, are more accepting and understanding of lesbianism, but that’s because we tend to bracket it with soft porn.  Reprehensible I know, but most men are hard-wired a certain way, and there’s not much anyone is going to do about that for the rest of this century.

The plain fact is, in civilised societies homosexuality, lesbianism, and bisexuality, are mostly acceptable ~ just don’t frighten the horses.

I’m not gay, I’m mentally ill ~ and that carries an even greater negative stigma than homosexuality.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.

Beautiful Sad Sex

Beautiful, and yet sisters cannot mend a broken heart

~

I am so lucky to have known such a beautiful woman, that held me tight in her heart.

We have been friends for such a long, long time, it meant so much.

Some times I just don’t know anything about love.

I thought we were made for each other.

Maybe it was never meant to last.

Maybe I was wrong to trust.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

always the same that’s all

it’s just a shame,

that’s all

Monochrome Monday ~ Sexual and Sensual

seduction begins with the pictures you create in her mind

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some say that there are many sexes

and that you don’t have to choose

all I know is that most people like sex

to give, and not to count the cost

sometimes, like now, I’m spreading myself a little bit thin

alone again, naturally

The last few days have a reminder to me that; when I’m good, I’m far too good for my own good.  The very cool gentleman at the core of my true persona is kind, generous, supportive, understanding, and totally taken for granted ~ especially by women.  Some women seem to think that if a guy is kind, generous, supportive, and understanding, then they don’t have to try very hard to keep him hanging around at their beck and call.  On the other hand some women will do almost anything to keep a real bastard in their lives.

I have no intention of turning into a real bastard, but neither am I going to live on the crumbs that some people seem to think will keep me enraptured enough to sick around.

I am reminded of the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola;

to give and not to count the cost

to fight and not to heed the wounds

to toil and not to seek for rest

to labour and not to ask for any reward

Well, I am no plaster saint, and although from time to time those words could have been an accurate description of parts of my life, I’m walking away from all that.

Some also seem to believe that a man’s friendship and love should be courtly and unconditional ~ which is not how women operate at all.  In general women are hard-wired to get everything they possibly can from a man, with as little cost to themselves as they can get away with.  In general a hell of a lot of women are just an inch away from being a real bitch.

I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.  If that makes me a bitch, okay.  ~  Madonna

Love songs, love stories, romantic tales of the knights of yore, all talk about the man who will love a woman more than life, unconditionally and eternally, and then they live happily ever after together.  Only in reality it doesn’t happen like that.  A really good man might give his all to a woman unconditionally, only to have to watch her walk off into the sunset with some real bad boy.  I have been on the losing side of that more than once.

And some women truly do give their friendship, kindness, understanding, and support, asking little in return, other than reliability, steadfastness, and courtly love.

Okay, that’s the end of today’s hurt.  And, at least I have one very good and loyal female friend, although she does live about 5,000 miles away.

Some say that when a man loves a woman he should love her unconditionally.  And that a man should give his all to any woman who has befriended him.  All I know is that I have never made promises lightly, but whatever promises I have made are just about to get broken.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

sometimes survival is all you have

 

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