Category Archives: Personal Style

Scenes on Sunday ~ Arizona

It’s a big wide world out there

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

There’s a lot of world to get lost in

Black Widow

a milf is your mom on her best worst day

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itsy bitsy spider

cast her nets and ran away

and none of the boys cared

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

monochromatic erotica

of the woman next door

Food on Friday ~ Healthy Halloween

have you come to sing pumpkin carols?

Here in ye Merrie Olde England we eschew Halloween as the pagan / catholic / foreign festival it is.  Instead we celebrate Guy Fawkes Night on November 5th.  However, these recipes are great for any cooler night when you’re having guests around, and you’re looking for something that evokes a darkly festive air.  Something healthy, tasty, and easy to prepare?

All of the dishes I’m featuring this week are healthy as well as tasty and great looking, and if you want to make the most of a healthy eating recipe then try to buy the freshest organic ingredients that you can find.

And OK, this is a shorter post because I’m not at all happy with some Halloween excesses,

First up this week, and the first time I’ve featured this site; from poach me quick we have sticky and smokey chipotle and maple-baked chicken on the bone.  Try not to get any of the messy stuff on your fingers onto your Halloween Costume.

Sticky and Smokey Chipotle Maple-Baked Chicken on the Bone

If you’re looking for something sweeter to have with tea, coffee, or a harder drink, then there’s this seasonally perfect pumpkin white chocolate bundt cake from Heather Christo.  I bet Charlie Brown would love this at Halloween.  Heather’s recipes are very healthy indeed.

Pumpkin White Chocolate Bundt Cake

And, from Ali Gimmie some Oven there’s candied walnuts, which I like the look of and she says are so irresistibly delicious.  OK walnuts are one of those things we should eat to stave off the horrible ageing problems ~ so make these.

Candied Walnuts

Now for something very American, from Good Housekeeping; acorn squash with brown rice and turkey sausage.  Allegedly acorn squash is one of those superfoods, and makes the serving dish for this great-looking recipe.

Acorn Squash with Brown Rice and Turkey Sausage

Turns out that one can treat acorn squash in pretty much the same way as one would treat a potato, although I suspect that the squash is better for a bloke than a spud would be.  So, as an opposite to the good old jacket potato, how about this baked acorn squash with butter and brown sugar, from Elise Bauer at Simply Recipes.  God!  That would be so good with ice cream ~ or am I being silly?

Baked  Acorn Squash with Butter and Brown Sugar

I’m enthused about acorn squash, especially as it seems you can use the gourd as a serving vessel ~ what a brilliant way to save on the washing-up.  It looks like a pretty good thing for vegetarians and vegans too.  So for our collection this week, from Country Living we have 30 best acorn squash recipes for a healthy addition to you fall dinners.  One of the great looking recipes is the acorn squash soup with turmeric from Seasonal Cravings.  Who doesn’t like a warming soup on a cold night?

Acorn Squash Soup with Turmeric

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

perfect for a Halloween cocktail

pomegranate ginger paloma

ginger is a ‘new’ superfood

 

Sex Chat

all those who say they don’t they don’t use porn are liars

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Hi I am Sara

sex chat with me

what about, about me

Hi Sandra, sex chat with me

do you have a pic of intimacy

hi I’m Danica sex chat please

I want to see your breasts

hi open yourself to me

I am your mom

sex chat me

sex us

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalknet

was told about it once

not guilty, never been there

 

Assertiveness

to be passive is to let others decide for you

Some of you may know that I have been emotionally, mentally, and spiritually sick for quite a while, but that over the last few days I have been recovering from the personality disorder that ails me.  I had another sign of that recovery today when I had a couple of very unpleasant situations to deal with, and I dealt with them effectively and assertively.

What I’m going to tell you isn’t something I’ve picked up off the web, or read in a book ~ I guess it harks back to when I operated at the highest levels in the fields of international banking and finance.  Today I used that accumulated knowledge, with a little something extra added from my recent life experiences.  In short I was extremely assertive and sorted things out without being aggressive.

To be assertive you must first of all make damn certain there is something wrong.  To be assertive when there’s nothing actually wrong, or about to go wrong, is just to make yourself look like a jerk.

Then figure out exactly what is is that went wrong, is wrong, is about to go wrong, or just isn’t happening at all.

Find the most senior appropriate person you have access to who might just be able to do something about your issue.

Tell that person succinctly, but with enough detail for them to fully understand, exactly what the problem is.

Tell them exactly what you want them to do about it; just saying ‘I want you to do something about it…..’ is being passive aggressive and not assertive.

Tell them when you expect the appropriate action to have been taken and the results you want to see.  Give them a time limit.

Tell them what will happen if they don’t do what you want them to do ~ but don’t threaten violence, that’s just being aggressive.

Tell them again what you’ve just told them, but this time summarise the whole thing in as few words as possible.

To be assertive requires intelligence, energy, determination, and a willingness to go out on a limb.  Being assertive does not require aggression, machismo, raised voices, or female seductiveness.  Maybe a little charm helps in the right situations.

Assertiveness works to help you get what you want, need, and desire in every single situation you can think of.

I also know how to utterly and completely deflect assertiveness when it’s used on me, but maybe I’ll tell you that another day.

Some say that assertiveness means carrying a big stick.  And that assertive people say no to almost everything.  All I know is that if I want it enough, true assertiveness will get me everything I desire.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this is not assertiveness

just violence and aggression

Friendship and Truth

a single rose can be my garden ~ a single friend, my world

Many believe that just because they spend a lot of time with someone, then they are friends.  Or if they are lovers, then they must also be friends.  Or if they just like being with someone, then they must be friends.  Perhaps, and perhaps real and true friendship means much more than that.

Generally, two people are drawn together for some very simple and constantly repeating reasons.  And the most common of these is that they are co-workers.  It’s difficult to spend 8 hours a day with someone without wanting them to be your friend.  There are also some good reasons to be friends with your co-workers; like it gives you someone to go to lunch with.  On the other hand, I’ve worked very closely with people I hated ~ just couldn’t stand them, and outside of working together saw and spoke to them as little as possible.

Common interests also bring people together, for example liking the same sport, pastime, or hobby.  I became friendly with some people I went to a group with, but whether we were real friends is another matter.  I also became friends with some guys I played golf with, but outside of a liking golf we had few other things in common, (except we came from the same socio-economic background).

Common interests include some things that will never create true friendships; ‘drinking buddies’, drugs, gambling, casual sex, stealing….. generally things that people do after dark.

Shared values also bring people together, and here the list is long and strange.  We can include; truth and honesty, thrift and generosity, the church, religion, human rights, charitable causes, politics, green issues, animal protection, belief in a flat Earth, belief in UFOs, belief in extra-terrestrial civilisations, belief in past lives…..  The thing is, if people share the same values they also tend to create groups to support their values and special interests.  But, shared values are not enough to create a true friendship, they just bring people together.

Conversely, if two people have very divergent values they can never become true friends.

Of course, one reason people might say they are friends is if they are having sex.  Fucking someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re friends ~ probably people who just have sex are not real friends.  Some marriages might have good sex in them without the partners being true friends.

As far as I’m concerned, before yesterday I was never a true and honest friend with anyone, ever.  I suffer from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and unless and until you are recovering from that you cannot ever be a real friend to anyone ~ there is just to much boiling shit going on in your mind.  Today I know I am recovering from my illness, and today I hope I have 3 friends.  Three is a good number.

Some say that honest people never hear the truth.  And that very honest people are very impolite.  All I know is that real friendship is based on honesty, openness, and trust.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

today there is a garden in my life

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Londonbeat

I can change the world, but I can’t change me

These days you can’t buy Londonbeat’s albums in any store I know of  ~  very rare just doesn’t describe it.

As you would expect this song is for a woman I know  ~  someone I’ve wronged in the past.  But that’s a much longer story than I can tell here.  (My one temptation was not another woman.)

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this is Tower Bridge

not London Bridge

Monochrome Monday ~ Abandoned

art is never finished, only abandoned

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

there’s more than one kind of abandoned

Scenes on Sunday ~ Cool Cars

a car isn’t a cool classic just because it’s old

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but some cars are always cool

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

a connection to place,

to the land and the sky,

any long road trip is very special

When There Is No Cure

there is no in-between, it is either all or nothing

sometimes you just explode

Our personalities stem from deep within our subconscious and are everything about the way we feel, react, and act.  A personality disorder is when parts of our personality cause problems in our lives.  A personality disorder will adversely affect how you cope with life, deal with relationships, how you behave every second of every day, and how you feel.  There is no cure.

The symptoms of a personality disorder may be treatable, but the underlying damage to your personality is not.  Because there is no cure, any treatment has to be long-term and specific to the individual concerned.  For example, some personality disorders respond well to medication, (Bi-Polar Disorder), while for others medication is both useless and probably dangerous, (Borderline Personality Disorder).

The men in white coats now believe that personality disorders are hard-wired into whoever is unfortunate enough to suffer one of the 10 different disorders, and they say that’s about one in twenty of the population.  (Personally I believe that far more than 5% of people are living with a serious personality disorder.)  The theory is that is you have a personality disorder you will never be able to shake off its symptoms.  This is not true.

Personality Disorders are most likely incurable, but the symptoms can be managed.

  • Crisis management.  Self-harm and suicide is common among sufferers of a personality disorder.  I have Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), and about 10% of all those who suffer from BPD kill themselves.  At times you may be hospitalised for your own safety and because you are a danger to others.
  • Medication.  There are some drugs to help sufferers of depression, anxiety, mood-swings, and psychosis.  Medication does not treat the underlying personality disorder, merely the symptoms.  Mostly antipsychotic medication is no more effective than a placebo, and has horrible side-effects.
  • Talking Therapy.  Depending on where you live there may be a few talking treatments that just might help suffers of a personality disorder. These include art therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive analytic therapy, and dialectical behaviour therapy.
  • Sheltered living.  Some suffers of personality disorders have such difficulty in dealing with everyday life that spending a long period in a therapeutic community is the only way they are able to cope at all.
  • Learning about your illness.  The likelihood is that anyone suffering from a personality disorder spends a lot of time in the confusion of not knowing WTF is happening to them.  If you learn, then you know, you may understand, and then you may be able to recover.
  • Self-Directed therapy.  The chances of me receiving any suitable treatment in my lifetime are just about zero.  Therefore my only recourse is to use self-help.  Luckily self-help treatment for personality disorders does work ~ if you do the hard work, every single fucking day of your life.
  • Avoidance behaviours.  Most sufferers of a personality disorder are / or have been into alcohol abuse, drug misuse, gambling, compulsive shopping, unsafe casual sex, never leaving home…..

Some say that if you have a personality disorder you may as well just curl up and die.  And that extreme avoidance behaviour is the way to go.  All I know is that if you do the hard work you can get over the sh*t and be happier.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never leaving home is one solution

it is NOT a viable long-term solution

 

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