Category Archives: Personal Style

Cancun Trip

if at first you don’t succeed, try something else

gently relaxing 

You may be aware that here in England we’re suffering from 28 days of very strict coronavirus lockdown, which comes to an end on December 2nd.  Except that’s not the end of it ~ when this period of miserable self-isolation ends we will be entering an indeterminate period of lockdown by tiers.  Wouldn’t you know it, the whole of the North East of England is in the strictest tier 3, which is almost as bad as the bloody terrible state we are already suffering.

Of course the whole country is in an uproar, and I do not blame anyone for complaining in the bitterest terms.  Prime Minister Boris Johnson won’t be able to get elected as a dog-catcher after this.  And as for the sanctimonious twerp of a Health Secretary Matt Hancock ~ as his name says what a wanker.

Except, I’ve found an escape clause.  There is nothing to stop me from going to an airport as long as I don’t stay overnight, and there’s nothing to stop me from boarding an aeroplane.

So, at 11:15 on Sunday December 6th I’m flying to Cancun, to stay in the utterly fantastic fabulously expensive, all inclusive, Royalton Suites Resort and Spa.  How cool is that?  Two weeks in the sun instead of two weeks of miserable lockdown in the cold, grey North of England.

Any volunteers to be a travelling companion can apply in the comments section.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s tough at the top

Escaping Humiliation

humiliation scars deeper than the lash

renting a Mustang does not alleviate humiliation

It is only very recently that I have had the courage to take a long, hard look at my life.  The implications of my actions over recent years are severe.  Obsession, overindulgence in the wrong people and things, dissipation, confusion, despair, joylessness are what mark my days.  A struggle with addiction to alcohol. The proximate cause of that addiction ~ an unhappy destructive toxic affair.  The waste of time, money, and love now weigh heavily on my mind.

And yet, I was very unwilling and almost unable to finally break that bond ~ a bond that had no future except walking deeper into the dark slough of despond.  Call it sexual immaturity, desperation, or lack of self-worth ~ I was deeply attracted to someone who has been, is, and would go on being extremely bad for me.  If she could, she could well spell my doom, for in many ways she is a witch.

I needed to open my eyes and understand the extent of my bondage before I could begin to see a way out.  Escaping from a black widow is not the easiest thing for a man to do.  I was caught in an unhealthy unproductive place, ignorant of the truth and its implications.  I was obsessed by a person, the idea of her, a pattern of behaviour and the booze that went along with it.  Even in the midst of everything I knew it was all bad for me.  I had severe doubts in my own future, and dark thoughts of my own demise.

It will be all right, now that I have realised that I don’t always have to pay for my past mistakes.  I had a false picture of myself and the situation I was in, but now I can hold fast to the best vision of who I am and the man I shall become.

Now I have freed myself from constant deep humiliation I can know resurrection, renewal and revival, my long-dormant inner man coming back to life.

Despite everything, this is a time for me to be happy, joyous, and free.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

six times I traveled to Southern California to meet my own nightmare

Thanksgiving

A HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ONE AND ALL

The turkey.  The Sweet potatoes.  The stuffing.  The pumpkin pie.  Is there anything else we can all agree so vehemently about?

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Happy Thanksgiving

 

 

Food on Friday ~ Thanksgiving

there is always something for which to be thankful

Well, it’s Wednesday not Friday, but there wouldn’t be much point in my publishing some Thanksgiving recipes the day after the event.  So forgive my erroneous title, it’s for a good cause.

You know that we don’t have Thanksgiving here in England, and that some of the things you serve make no sense to me; candied yams for one.  Yet, part of me wishes we did have a Thanksgiving feast in the dark months before Christmas.

There is at least one earlier Thanksgiving post here, you can click on the link of you’d like to see last year’s dishes.  Also check out my November 13th post Food on Friday ~ Mid Autumn.

Have a very happy day tomorrow.

So, first up this week we have a Candied Yams recipe from Lena Abraham at Delish magazine.  (I don’t believe I’ve ever had yams…..)

Candied Yams

This is another dish I really don’t get, but I understand goes down very well on the Thanksgiving board.  From Gimme Some Oven; The Best Green Bean Casserole.  This dish is also really healthy. Enjoy.

The Best Green Bean Casserole

All great meals need a light appitiser that one can also use as a snack with drinks if friends call around.  Jessica Merchant at How Sweet Eats has this very easy recipe for Smoky Chipotle Cheddar Twists.  I just know these will disappear fast…..

Smoky Chipotle Cheddar Twists

One of the most critical things about a turkey dinner is the gravy.  Ergo from Chungah at Damn Delicious we have; How To Make the Best Turkey Gravy.  Looks good to me.

How To Make the Best Turkey Gravy

To start off your Thanksgiving day with a very seasonal holiday breakfast we have these Easy Fluffy Eggnog Cinnamon Rolls from Tieghan Gerard at Half Baked Harvest.  These would also go well as a dessert with coffee after dinner.

Easy Fluffy Eggnog Cinnamon Rolls

Our collection this week is from Country Living magazine; 68 Easy Thanksgiving Recipe Ideas the Family is Sure to Love.  From this collection I have chosen to feature their Ginger Pumpkin Pie.

Ginger Pumpkin Pie

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

oh yes, cook a second turkey for the dog

but where are the trimmings?

Scenes on Sunday ~ Beaches

Beaches are my favourite places

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Continue reading →

Tunes on Tuesday

I once knew a girl in California

There are a lot of once in one’s life.  I once owned a V12 e-type Jaguar.  I once had a mistress.  I once was a boxer.

Please listen with kindness.

jack collier

jackcollier@talktalk.net

Marmy

Scenes on Sunday ~ Road Trip

keep cool ~ drive a Mustang convertible

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

California, a Mustang

and the girl riding shotgun

it doesn’t get any better than that

Sexual Confidence

a truly confident man has no desire to control a woman

she is probably not with a confident man

That’s a challenging quotation at the top of the page, and goes against all the fashionable BDSM stuff in the Fifty Shades…..   But trust me, the need to control your wife / lover / partner / girlfriend displays a complete lack of self-confidence.  More than that, wanting and needing to control a woman means that he doesn’t trust her at all.  There are men like that.  Their control over a woman will begin with small things, and end with him ruling and ruining her life.

Any woman involved with a controlling man needs to get out as soon as she can, go far, go fast, never once tell him where she is going, and never look back.  He doesn’t care for her and never did, everything is all about him.  That kind of controlling relationship soon turns to abuse; mental, verbal, financial, spiritual, sexual, and physical abuse.  That kind of man is completely lacking in confidence ~ in fact he is completely lacking in any of the finer qualities that go to make up a real man.  Especially he does not know trust.

Conversely, a truly confident man, the man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and is filled with enough energy, enthusiasm, and vitality, would never need nor want to control his Lady.  A confident man will trust her enough to be happy that she does what pleases her, and fully explores her sexuality within the bounds of decency.  (The bounds of decency are flexible depending on where you are, who you are with, and what time of day / time of year it is.)  It’s about trust and confidence.  Which makes me think that the men of some churches and religions must be utterly lacking in both.

Sexual confidence begins outside of the bedroom.  It’s what allows a man to talk to any woman and treat her like an equal ~ actually not like an equal at all because men and woman are very different.  A confident man looks at a woman and sees an individual, someone strong, unique, and completely feminine.  Confident men will approach that woman at a bar, and not necessarily believe that she should be flattered by his attentions and want to have sex with him.  His confidence and good humour means that if they are both free she might.

Some say that a man’s sexual performance is a reflection of his confidence.  And that he is comfortable with a woman who wants and likes sex.  All I know is that sexual confidence in a man means trusting her.

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jack collier

jack collier7@talktalk.net

a confident man will be happy for his wife to wear a dress like this

 

Food on Friday ~ Mid Autumn

autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower

It’s the middle of fall, Thanksgiving is in a couple of weeks, we’d like to make a start on Christmas shopping, and most of us are trapped in one sort of a lockdown or other.  But there is nothing to stop you going grocery shopping, and then honing your chef skills.

These recipes have a kind of mid-autumn, pre Thanksgiving flavour.  In one case I would strongly recommend serving a decent sherry or Madeira to go along with the cake.  In fact, why not treat yourself to a decent glass of something any way.  You deserve it, and you probably won’t be driving to work today.

(BTW for new readers, and if you just don’t know, if you click on the highlighted recipe name you will go right to that dish on the chef’s own website.)

First up this week, from Half Baked harvest we have this delicious looking 4 Cheese Sage Pesto Florentine Lasagna.  How great would this be to make ahead for your Thanksgiving parties?  (NB.  Women should be very careful of too much sage.)

4 Cheese Sage Pesto Florentine Lasagna

Another pasta dish from Diane at In Dianes Kitchen; a very warming Cheesy Chicken Noodle Casserole.  (Noodles are pasta too.)  This is a very easy dish, even most of my fellow single men could make, (and most single men cannot cook).

Cheesy Chicken Noodle Casserole

Now a really pretty midweek dinner from Andrea at Cooking with a Wallflower; Honey Garlic Shrimp Farro Bowl with Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette.  And how fabulous to serve this if you have friends over for a pre or post Thanksgiving lunch.

Honey Garlic Shrimp Farro Bowl with Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette

Tiffany from Creme de la Crumb has a very seasonal dish in this Candied Pecan Sweet Potato Casserole, (with marshmallows).  Being English I’m not quite certain if this is an entree or a dessert.  No doubt someone will enlighten me.

Candied Pecan Sweet Potato Casserole

Joy Wilson at Joy the Baker has come up with what has to be the longest recipe name ever, (and that’s saying something here), Dad’s Perfect Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Refined Sugar-Free Sweet Potato Pie.  You have got to make this just so you can tell your guests what it’s called.

Dad’s Perfect Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Refined Sugar-Free Sweet Potato Pie

And finally for this week.  As you would expect from Heather Christo we have an extremely pretty dish, this time a Pumpkin Pecan Coffee Cake, which is both vegan and gluten free.  How brilliant for afternoon tea around thanksgiving, although I’d serve this with sherry and not tea.

Pumpkin Pecan Coffee Cake

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

if you have never tried a good Maderia wine, then you have no idea the heaven you’re missing out on

Feminine Strength

out of the strong came forth sweetness

Unless you are English or a bible scholar you may be unfamiliar with the above quotation, which is derived from the story of Samson and the Lion and a woman from Timnah.  It’s a narrative and an allegory.  Psychologically, the interesting thing is the difference between masculine and feminine strength.

Typically, masculine strength is brute force and aggression that can be measured in foot-pounds, whereas feminine strength is far more elusive and mysterious.  In the biblical story the lion is an expression of male energy and sexual potency.  The sweet honey is an expression of female patience, sensitivity, and  complexity.  Without both the story has no point at all.  So, some strong warrior guy goes out and kills a lion ~ that happens all the time in the bible.  That story would have little point to it.

However, if you add the feminine sweetness, and throw in the woman from Timnah for good measure, then what we have is an allegory which seeks to illustrate that unbridled strength and aggression without control is both pointless and dangerous.  An out of control bulldozer isn’t anything anyone wants to have to deal with.

Many men fail to grasp that point.  A lot of guys think that what it takes to be a real man is the ability to sink copious quantities of beer and then beat down on the little guy.  Or drink copious quantities of beer, drive home from the pub, and treat his wife / girlfriend like a piece of meat.  That type of guy tends to be unsuccessful, or an alcoholic, or a workshy petty criminal ~ or all three.

More successful men realise that feminine qualities like; acceptance, diplomacy, patience, perseverance, understanding, and the ability to communicate effectively are just as important, (if not more important), than qualities such as physical courage and endurance.  Some men eschew these feminine strengths as being beneath them, or unmanly, or associated with the rainbow community.  Reality says that a hell of a lot of men just find things like diplomacy, understanding, and talking, far too difficult for them to cope with.

I had to learn the feminine strengths and skills as part of my career in International Finance ~ if I wanted to make more money than my trophy wife could spend.  More recently, I learned those feminine strengths courtesy of a self-confessed black widow.

Really strong men control their masculine qualities with the feminine qualities they are willing to learn and use.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

out of the eater, something to eat

out of the strong, something sweet

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