Category Archives: Expressive

Seems I Have OCD

OCD is not about being a ‘neat freak’

that is wrong on so many levels

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I have fairly mild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  There are a few obvious signs; for example I am always clean, neat, and tidy, always doing the very best I can in every situation.  I think that everything is my fault and my problem to solve.  My music is all sorted in alphabetical order, and I know where everything is, all the time.  I also go back and check that I really have locked my door when I’ve left the garret.  I know every detail of my finances, down to the last penny and I check my bank accounts on-line every damn day.

But the real give-away is counting.  When my mind is doing nothing else I count, to no purpose whatsoever, and it’s a completely unconscious thing.

I’ve now read that there are 4 types of OCD; contamination, perfection, doubt/harm, forbidden thoughts.  Or it might be that there are 7 types of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, if you include; staring, relationship, and existential.  I think I can identify perfectionism and a little of forbidden thoughts, (but who doesn’t have weird sexual fantasies).  But none of it is ruining my life.  What almost ruined my life was judgemental angry jealousy, (retroactive angry jealousy too), and some would say that is Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I would say that it was being in a toxic relationship with the wrong woman.

So how to ‘cure’ my OCD?  Actually the only bit I want to cure is the counting thing.

Typically dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder involves drugs and therapy.  I’m NOT having either of those, except the honest, open, down to earth therapy talking with my friends gives me.  And writing this blog, of course.

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.  ~  Sun Tzu

Knowing that I have ‘a problem’ is more than half the battle.

The rest is down to me.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some say that mental illness is like a black dog

 

Monochrome Monday ~ The Line of Beauty

real beauty comes from being true to oneself

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

beauty only exists in the mind of the beholder

great legs and stiletto heel do it for me

Random Jottings ~ Apologies

never apologise for showing your true feelings 
never apologise for feeling hurt
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a bad apology is better than none
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an excuse isn’t the same as an apology
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if he says; ‘I’m sorry you feel that way…..’
then run far and run fast
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‘I am sorry you’re angry…..’ is not an apology
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some say that sorry seems to be the hardest word
it isn’t, goodbye is
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an apology is meaningless if he keeps doing what he was sorry for
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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

telling her that you love her

is not being weak

unless you apologise for it

Finding Mr. Right

people believe their own myths

many women would like this as a daily drive

This is not about where to go to find a real man, this post is all about sorting the good guys from the poseurs, fakes, chancers, and abusers.  If you disagree with any of this, then feel free to comment, or even email me.

What do women want?  Somebody to provide for them, protect them, take care of them, shower them with gifts, take them to expensive places, buy them expensive clothes, get them a fabulous home and a cool car.  A good looking and powerful man to be seen with and to watch over them ~ perhaps even a sugar-daddy type.  Maybe not somebody to talk with.  If women want a deep and meaningful conversation they will talk with their women friends.

The deep-down basic wants, needs, and desires in a relationship are different between men and women.  Men want sex, whereas women crave affection and intimacy.  Men want power and domination, women want equality and respect.  Women are about nurturing and soft skills, men are by nature unfeeling.  Women want a loving and caring relationship, most men don’t even know what that means.

Men are usually not being their true selves when they first meet a woman they are attracted to, especially if it’s a casual meeting in a bar, or a first meeting after chatting on some dating site.  Most men will talk too much, exaggerate their good points, minimise the downsides, and outright lie.  Most men will gloss over things like; they are already married, divorced with kids, or have been let go from their work.  If you get that far they may say things like their good car is in the shop, their place is being redecorated, they forgot to call at the ATM….. There’s a price for that because when the mask slips, a woman may find she is talking with mr boring or the beast.

Signs that a guy is actually worth the time of day is that he wants to know about you ~ without being creepy or an obvious stalker.  He will not talk over you.  A cool guy will tend to be self-deprecating because he has the self-confidence to be honest and open ~ without puffing himself up like a slimy toad.  A man worth talking to will be clean and well dressed, (appropriate to wherever you are).  No real man will ever be drunk or high and talk to a woman.  And no gentleman will fuck you on a first date, because good guys don’t often date sluts.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

a cool guy will always politely and appropriately compliment your appearance

Monochrome Monday – Overnight Stops

I couldn’t let her suffer in a spooky down-market hotel

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jackcollier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

actually, for her, I could

Random Jottings ~ Argument Winners

being right will not necessarily win any arguments

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I don’t care what God said…..

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you might be right, but I don’t agree

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I don’t pretend to know everything

but I know I’m a lot smarter than you

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she was making one mistake in her argument

she assumed that I gave a shit what she thought

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why do stupid people think that shouting will win an argument?

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ridicule and humiliation might win arguments

but they don’t win friends

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s damn near impossible for any man

to win an argument with a sexy woman

Scenes on Sunday ~ Overnight Stops

I could never let you suffer in a down-market hotel

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

there aren’t many good hotels in Jerome

Songs on Saturday ~ Harry Connick Jr.

so many want to change the one they first fell for

I’ve been lost, I’ve been alone, I’ve despaired, and I’ve drank.  Now I know that there is someone out there for me, I never need to walk alone.  I know that when I find her I’ll care for her for who she is, not for who I want her to be.

I never need to walk alone, unless that’s what Fate decrees.

And Fate had better watch out.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

she’s not the one

she never was

 

Songs on Saturday ~ Chris Rea

I’m never going to wait in line again

This Chris Rea track speaks to me, he’s singing about how my life was, how it is, and how it’s going to be.  I know that boardwalk and I know those streets.  I know how it feels to be trapped , waiting in line, waiting for something better….  Not a VW, and California, not Europe.

With thanks to Paula Light  for this prompt.

Pick up up your life, stop waiting, get on and do it.

Get a car, get a girl, and get out of town.

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jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Monochrome Monday ~ Arizona

in reality, the Arizona desert is monochromatic red

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

road trip

Red Rock State Park

(poetry anthology on Amazon)

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