a real man makes all women smile
but reserves his very best smile for only one
I believe the nearest Kirk Douglas got to Shakespeare was Spartacus
Shakespeare has a scene in Hamlet where the Danish Lord Polonius expounds to Laertes upon the nature of being a better man than the average spear carrier. Most may merely remember that in that scene there are a couple of lines that proclaim; clothes make the man. Which, outwardly is a limited truth. But there is more to clothes than buying the best and most tasteful apparel your wallet can bear. For a start an expensive suit still looks like a sack when worn by a slob. And, many an expensive coat of paint conceals something rotten inside.
True attractiveness, the kind of look that appeals to emotionally intelligent and discerning people, especially to cool and together women, isn’t something a man can just put on and wear. That kind of attractive, clean-cut, elegant persona comes from within. It’s who a man is, not only what he wears, that is really attractive to others.
Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. ~ Andre Gide
Some lucky guys can look great in jeans and a singlet, whereas the rest of us need to try a little harder than that.
I have discovered that there are a few guidelines a man can follow if he wants to succeed when it comes to Shakespeare’s maxim; ‘the clothes maketh the man….’
- As Polonius says, always buy the very best you can afford. Most women can spot thrift store purchases, cheaper makes, and remaindered stuff a mile off. Besides, quality lasts. You do get what you pay for.
- Always dress up, rather than dressing down. If, on dress-down-Friday most guys go to the office in jeans and a T, then make a point of wearing decent trousers and a crisp, freshly laundered shirt. There is nothing wrong with adding a cool necktie either. A surprising number of women find a nice shirt and tie pretty hot.
- Don’t neglect the obvious. Make certain everything matches, (if you’re colour-blind get help from a friendly female). Your shoes should be spotless, and your aftershave / cologne / deodorant classy, not overpowering.
- Be very, very clean ~ both you and everything you’re wearing.
- Have your own style, but don’t be outlandish, neither try to be too fashionable. Besides which very fashionable soon goes out of fashion. As you would expect, my style is very English / preppy.
Some say that clothes make the man. And that you can spot a slob a mile off, no matter what he’s wearing. All I know is that to look really good you have to work at it every single day.
many real men have walked the tracks alone,
and still made an effort to look good
English, the finest and truest language ever known to mankind
Nobody can write a scene like Shakespeare, even though he couldn’t even spell his own name.
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
I cannot write prose like Mark Twain, even though he was naught but a steam boat pilot.
Never allow someone else to be your priority
while allowing yourself to be their option
Few can stir the blood like a Tennyson or Coleridge.
Half a league, half a league, half a league onward
into the valley of death rode the six hundred
Or evoke love and passion in the way of a Keats or Shelly.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever
its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness
But I can write like me ~ direct, pithy, sanguine, and terse.
Haunting music of the wind, wave counterpointed, pink sky echoed
perhaps not the greatest writer
Fleming created an iconic character
start each day badly, and you wave success goodbye
to be fulfilled, turn work into play
Expert: a complete drip under pressure
never trust an expert who has never done a proper hard day’s work
emotional intelligence is an essential ingredient of a balanced successful life
to be successful, to stand out from the crowd, do the exact opposite of what most people are doing
getting drunk only turns you into an overnight success in your own eyes
I can’t stop loving you, no matter how hard I try
A couple of times in my life I’ve met someone I’ve really liked, and through spending time with her, becoming friends, having a relationship, I’ve found myself being in love. Not on purpose, not because that was what I wanted, not because it was easy, not because she was perfect, and not because she was the girl next door. Perhaps it was just meant to be.
Not all love lasts, but if you have ever truly been in love then you know that you first and most of all you are friends. True friendship lasts forever.
And so, these are the thoughts I have about being in love.
- Some say that you are lucky to find love even once in your life, so always hold her close, don’t ever let her go.
- Let your the light of your love shine, even in the worst of times.
- Even on the darkest of days her love makes every cloud carry a sliver lining.
- You both enjoy the warm sunshine and the cold rain, just so long as you are together.
- Whatever she says, whatever she does, she makes you happy.
- You always tell her the truth, the whole truth, spoken and written from your heart and soul.
- When she needs you, you are there for her, steadfast and true. And she is always there for you.
- If the road gets tougher, if times get hard, if life is difficult, then you love each other more.
- When you are going somewhere together, no matter how late she is, you are happy to wait for her.
- When she’s not there you miss her desperately, and you think about her always. You dream of her.
- You are happy to hold hands in public.
- You listen when she speaks, and never talk over her.
- You will be her steadfast friend, always, no matter what.
- Even if she is a siren on the road to Hell, you desire her anyway.
Not all of the above is always true, not all of the time.
when you are in love
she is your sunrise
at dawn, at the morning of the day, all things become clear
Conscious thinking is what we do when we don’t know what to do. When you don’t really know how to drive a car, you have to think about it. When you can drive your subconscious mind takes over and leaves your consciousness free to do other things ~ like try to work out WTF you’re lost. For 95% of the time your subconscious mind is running your life.
Yesterday, while I was out taking my meditative walk, my subconscious mind came up with an idea ~ a plan for living the rest of my life. Except it wasn’t just an idea, it was the whole plan, almost fully formed.
Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life ~ think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is the way great spiritual giants are produced. ~ Swami Vivekananda
This plan is simple, complete, integrated, mindful, and self-contained. There are only 5 parts and each one is important to the whole;
- Live a Healthy Life. It is health that is the real wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver. Gandi. For most of my years my lifestyle was unhealthy: too much work, too much stress, too much booze, not enough sleep, not enough exercise, and no spirituality whatsoever. Now I have an eating plan in a Paleo Diet, I walk 10,000 steps a day and do a little yoga, have a good sleep routine, and I am sober.
- Travel Far and Wide. The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. Saint Augustine. I have travelled the world, but mostly I have done it with my eyes and heart closed, and mostly I have travelled alone.
- Enjoy Time with my Friends. ‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected. Charles Lamb. For most of my years I pushed people away, now I hope I can welcome new friends into my life. And what better way to travel the world than with a special friend.
- Words and Pictures. Write what should not be forgotten. Isabel Allende. I do not need to work but I need to be creative. Reading, writing, photography ~ hell I may even learn to paint ~ people, places, things, ideas, beliefs…..
- Spirituality. A healthy mind in a healthy body ~ Juvenal. And this is the crux of the whole plan. I lived in a straight-line, goal-oriented, competitive existence, and I was wealthy in money, miserable, sick, and suicidally depressed. I cannot learn spirituality, I need to live it.
I believe in this plan, that it will work for me. Thinking about it, my plan doesn’t work without integrating all of these 5 elements, but I don’t need to add a number 6. Even Love is encompassed and runs through the whole of it
Some say that no plan survives contact with reality. And that they could live happily if only….. All I know is that tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.
evening, a time of rest and reflection
break my heart and my soul cries for love into the desert dust
letters lie there helplessly
in a pile inside the door
I’ve tried but I just can’t
remember who they’re for
the past fades
the future hides
and time just glides
then you say America
and that makes me smile
I haven’t seen America
for such a long long while
a soul just cries
new thoughts arise
of blue skies calm seas
But you said California
and it made me smile
if I ever see California
my blue eyes will shine
and as for love
it’s much to old
a story to believe
the Pacific listens to my crying soul
sometimes, like now, I’m spreading myself a little bit thin
alone again, naturally
The last few days have a reminder to me that; when I’m good, I’m far too good for my own good. The very cool gentleman at the core of my true persona is kind, generous, supportive, understanding, and totally taken for granted ~ especially by women. Some women seem to think that if a guy is kind, generous, supportive, and understanding, then they don’t have to try very hard to keep him hanging around at their beck and call. On the other hand some women will do almost anything to keep a real bastard in their lives.
I have no intention of turning into a real bastard, but neither am I going to live on the crumbs that some people seem to think will keep me enraptured enough to sick around.
I am reminded of the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola;
to give and not to count the cost
to fight and not to heed the wounds
to toil and not to seek for rest
to labour and not to ask for any reward
Well, I am no plaster saint, and although from time to time those words could have been an accurate description of parts of my life, I’m walking away from all that.
Some also seem to believe that a man’s friendship and love should be courtly and unconditional ~ which is not how women operate at all. In general women are hard-wired to get everything they possibly can from a man, with as little cost to themselves as they can get away with. In general a hell of a lot of women are just an inch away from being a real bitch.
I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~ Madonna
Love songs, love stories, romantic tales of the knights of yore, all talk about the man who will love a woman more than life, unconditionally and eternally, and then they live happily ever after together. Only in reality it doesn’t happen like that. A really good man might give his all to a woman unconditionally, only to have to watch her walk off into the sunset with some real bad boy. I have been on the losing side of that more than once.
And some women truly do give their friendship, kindness, understanding, and support, asking little in return, other than reliability, steadfastness, and courtly love.
Okay, that’s the end of today’s hurt. And, at least I have one very good and loyal female friend, although she does live about 5,000 miles away.
Some say that when a man loves a woman he should love her unconditionally. And that a man should give his all to any woman who has befriended him. All I know is that I have never made promises lightly, but whatever promises I have made are just about to get broken.
sometimes survival is all you have
love is when everyone thinks you’re crazy, but you don’t care
True love, real love, love, admiration, infatuation, insane desire ~ what we call loves comes in a rainbow kaleidoscope of colours and carries along with it every emotion known to mankind and the Gods. And some of those emotions can be powerful and hurtful; lust, jealousy, paranoia, despair, desire, depression, anger….. Love isn’t always pink clouds and faerie princesses. Sometimes love is a dark forest filled with dragons and wicked witches.
But you don’t ever choose who to love ~ love chooses you, and love is as fickle and dangerous as anything that ever came out of Pandora’s Box. You might just see her smile, or the way she speaks, or the way she walks, and then you’re lost in love, ready and willing for her to turn your heart to burned ashes and your nights to dark introspective vigils of regret.
There are some circumstances that make long-term love almost impossible, for example; she is already married, she is married and is dating other guys as well as you, she lives half a world away from you, she’s a slut who will sleep with anyone and does, she has a very active on-line sex life, she is far too young or far too old for you, she has a serious problem like alcoholism or drug addiction, her dysfunctional family has first call on her time all the time, she sees you as a bank that’s always open, she works in the sex industry, she’s a thief, she is utterly incapable of feeling real love herself….. It’s not that I have ever had a relationship that’s had those issues ~ not all of them at the same time anyway.
If you’re in a relationship with a woman who has even a couple of those relationship problems, then perhaps you’re in love with the wrong woman. And, if you’re in love with the wrong woman, then maybe sometime or other you have to find a way to make it without her. Or it could be that she has all or most of those issues, but she is still the right woman for you, and you know that you will go on loving her ~ no matter what. In that case a man is setting off on a long dark hard road that maybe will never lead to a happy ending ~ just heartaches and eventual regrets. But for the sake of all the Gods, never ask that woman to marry you ~ she might just say ‘Yes’.
Some say that true love conquers all. And that if you really love her, then you should go on loving her, no matter what. All I know is that it’s over when you say goodbye.
a fabulous ass, great legs, and an erotic manicure doesn’t necessarily mean that she is the right woman for you
sometimes I can be a complete jerk
losing yourself means accepting what others think of you
in your bad dreams
in your worst nightmares
in dark desolate loneliness
when all seems lost and hopeless
be yourself because there is no one else
in the starry, starry night
be yourself ~ there is nobody else