Category Archives: Psychology

Monochrome Monday ~ The Line of Beauty

real beauty comes from being true to oneself

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

beauty only exists in the mind of the beholder

great legs and stiletto heel do it for me

Scenes on Sunday ~ Women with a Past

a woman with a past is still someone’s future

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the past was not always pleasant

sometimes it’s best forgotten

Scenes on Sunday ~ Travels In My Past

against all odds, I was there, with or without her

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notice the teddy bear

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalknet

somewhere in Northern Italy

some time ago

Songs on Saturday ~ The Traveling Wilburys

the end of the line is just another stop

If you have ever struggled, if you’ve ever though that life was just too difficult, if you’ve ever felt that you just couldn’t go on, then this song may resonate with you.

I’ve been to the end of the line, and you know what?  There was always another train leaving from just across the platform.

Please listen with more than a little hope.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

sometimes it really is the end of the line

Songs on Saturday ~ Coldplay

grant me the strength to make it through today

Depending on who you are and what you’ve done in life, then ‘higher power’ may be a significant concept for you ~ or not.  In any event, I like this Coldplay track.  But then, I used to think that I was a very cool guy, living a really great life.

As if any truly self-confident guy would ever say anything like that, much less believe in it.

Please listen thoughtfully.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Aphrodite, a reflection of my chosen higher power, a goddess of my understanding

Exercise ~ Walking

walking is the most ancient exercise

Despite the manky weather, and the fact that I’m supposed to be in lockdown, I am back to taking a long daily walk.  Actually it’s illegal to walk along the railroad track here, but hell, it isn’t illegal to take a meditative walk by the tracks.

Only Marmaduke would want to have a rest sitting on the track.

Right now a long walk is about 3 miles, pretty soon I’ll work up to 5 miles a day.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

walking alone with your thoughts is cool

Food on Friday ~ Rosemary

redolent of Mediterranean mists and sea-dew

Rosemary grows wild on the shores of the Mediterranean, and is widely cultivated in the more temperate areas of Europe and North America.  This glossy shrub can be seen in decorative borders, kitchen gardens, herb gardens, and physic gardens, wherein medicinal plants are grown.

In Greek mythology rosemary is said to have been draped around the otherwise naked figure of Aphrodite when she came out of the sea.  A more Christian legend is that the Virgin Mary draped her blue cloak over a white rosemary bush while she was resting on her way to Bethlehem and the flowers turned blue.  The shrub was henceforth called ‘the Rose of Mary’.

Most decent cooks are familiar with this herb as an addition to meat dishes, lamb in particular.  However, it can be used judiciously as a seasoning to a wide variety of recipes; soups, casseroles, salads, and stews.  Use rosemary with chicken and other poultry, game (especially as its strong flavour enhances the strong flavours of game dishes), lamb, pork, beef steak, and fish, especially oily fish.  It also adds flavour to otherwise bland grains, mushrooms, peas, potatoes, and greens, (especially good with spinach).

If you a drop of strong drink, then perhaps try this rosemary pomegranate grilled meyer-lemon sparkler.  But beware, it’s much stronger than it looks.  For some reason rosemary adds a lot to the taste of pomegranate juice.

Rosemary also goes very well with gin, try putting a sprig of the herb into a fresh bottle and letting it stand for a week or so.

A rosemary gin fizz is a very refreshing, if potent drink.

Rosemary tea is easy to make and is said to have a host of health benefits, try sweetening it with Manuka honey.

The main active ingredients in this herb are tannin and saponin. (There is also a little thujone, which is the active ingredient in wormwood, used to produce real absinthe.) Technically this adds up to rosemary being good for the immune system, blood circulation, reducing cancer forming free radicals, as an aid to digestion, enhancing memory and concentration, (especially after a stroke), staving off eye problems, and staving off aging of one’s brain, (dementia).

Rosemary can have a beneficial psychoactive effect, it will not get you very high, but it will make you feel both relaxed and alert, at one in the same time.  As a sleep aid it can give you wild dreams.  (Actually rosemary is a very mild ‘legal high’.)

Rosemary is best gathered in spring and summer, but as an evergreen it can be collected fresh at any time of the year.  It dries very well.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the flowers are very much favoured by bees

if you don’t know me by now

misunderstandings and rejections

Following on from this morning’s post Rejection in Relationships, I thought I’d let you listen to this song by Simply Red.  It says a lot about what it feels like to be rejected inside a relationship / marriage.  It hurts, a lot.

If you find yourself listening to this kind of song

then I’m guessing you’re not happy

and it’s time to move on

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

sometimes, it’s time to walk away

Rejection in Relationships

a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down

misery is never acceptable

Who here has never been dumped?  I have, more than once, and it hurts.  However, I firmly believe that what hurts worse than being rejected and dumped is being rejected by your spouse or partner while the relationship goes on between you.  You are still mostly living together, but that’s the most you can say of it.  You may even be having sex, but it’s lacking in intimacy and is nothing more than satisfying some animal lust.  Bad sex is worse than no sex at all, and in a toxic relationship sex is all about power.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex.  Sex is about power.  ~  Oscar Wilde

Some signs of being rejected inside a relationship are that you avoid being together, you hardly ever talk and when you do there is no real communication, communication descends into arguments, recriminations, and raised voices, you don’t trust your partner at all, one of you drinks far too much, and the chances are that you are being cheated on.  Anyhow, if your partner is rejecting you then you already know.  Being rejected can hurt for a while, being rejected inside a relationship makes you miserable forever, or until you find the courage to walk out.

If you don’t trust your partner / spouse, if you don’t let them anywhere near your money, if you go to counseling alone or to a 12 step group, if you are being mentally, psychologically or physically abused, if you feel like a doormat, if you are always walking on eggshells ~ then it’s time to have an escape plan.  The thing is that, anyone who can subject someone they profess to care for to the misery of rejection is themselves a deeply damaged person.  In psychology Anti-Social has some very specific meanings, it describes someone who has no conscience, no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, no guilt.  Anti-Social people are promiscuous, often abuse alcohol and drugs, they cheat and steal, are narcissistic, and often they will break the law; things like petty theft or driving under the influence.  Someone who will reject their partner or spouse is deeply Anti-Social.

And beware because simple rejection can escalate into Gaslighting, a form of extreme psychological abuse.  If you suffer from anxiety, depression, question your own sanity ~ then you are being gaslighted.  If that is you, and you sometimes fear for your own safety, or even your own life, then it’s not time to walk away, it’s time to run.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

feeling like a prisoner is never acceptable

Random Jottings ~ Apologies

never apologise for showing your true feelings 
never apologise for feeling hurt
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a bad apology is better than none
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an excuse isn’t the same as an apology
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if he says; ‘I’m sorry you feel that way…..’
then run far and run fast
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‘I am sorry you’re angry…..’ is not an apology
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some say that sorry seems to be the hardest word
it isn’t, goodbye is
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an apology is meaningless if he keeps doing what he was sorry for
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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

telling her that you love her

is not being weak

unless you apologise for it

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