do you believe in Father Christmas, do you believe in a brave New Year?
do you believe in the ten commandments, is your life filled with fear?
To believe is to accept that something exists, or that something is true, when there is no evidence or proof to back up that belief. Millions of children around the world believe in Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Saint Nicholas….. He will remain in the hearts of children forever, and the children have proof, he brings them toys and other gifts every Christmas. This belief is useful too, for doesn’t he have a list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, checking it twice before he leaves toys and presents for the nice children, and a lump of coal for the naughty boys and girls. A perfect cautionary tale for parents to blackmail their kids into being nice near Christmas.
Some beliefs are neither useful nor true ~ like a Flat Earth. Those who believe the Earth is flat are either deranged, or willfully stupid, or as thick as two short planks. There is plenty of evidence to prove the planet Earth is more or less a sphere, as are all the other planets visible through a telescope. Also believing in a flat Earth is not useful, since long-distance navigation is based on the great circle theory, which is navigating a ship or an aircraft using spherical trigonometry. Ergo believers in a flat Earth should never ever get on an aircraft or go on a cruise.
One does not have to believe everything one hears. ~ Cicero
Another belief that is neither useful or true is Alien Visitation. There are plenty of spurious reasons given to prove that alien visitation happens all the time, and I don’t believe any of them. There is also one crushing piece of evidence to disprove the very idea that creatures / people from the stars regularly visit the Earth ~ nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. The nearest known exoplanet is 4.25 light years away, so allowing for basic physics that means a round-trip of about 12 years, even if our starship can get near the speed of light. Just never going to happen.
One false belief that is useful is in Pythagoras’ theorem; the square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides. Or more practically just remember 3,4,5. This is mostly true, but some believe it is always true. Try navigating from England to New York using Pythagoras and the Gods only know where you will land. Sometimes even the dearest held, and most provable belief is only mostly true.
Believing in God, any God, is maybe the most commonly held belief of them all, along with whichever prophet fits the religion of your choice. This belief is useful to many, especially the clergy of every religion, but there is no proof whatsoever, and that’s the whole point. Religion is all about Faith not Belief ~ and if you start to look into Faith you get into a circular argument. Anyway I think religion isn’t based on faith, it’s about the fear of eternal damnation
Some say that real belief needs no proof. And that faith is trust without reservation. All I know is I trust scientific and engineering methodologies more than I trust priests and demagogues. And I believed in Love.
the Earth is positively not flat
also called Beaver Moon, the November full moon shone yesterday
The November 12th / 13th full moon is a dream moon, and has the power to bring your intimate relationships into sharper focus. Opposing forces such as work versus home, or what you want versus what you really need, or the state of your romantic affairs, will be shown in any dream you can remember. If your dreams give any insight, then understanding and communicating your feelings with clarity and sensitivity will become possible through strong intuition ~ if you have courage and fortitude.
This is a time of incredible emotional opportunities, but also a time when struggles in relationships might lead into wrong and misunderstood conversations, and thus the ending of things with a once-loved one. A lot of tenderness, hard work, and patience will be needed to overcome conflicts, differences of opinion, and pointless arguments. If handled correctly and logically, with self-discipline and diplomacy, the turmoil will just blow over and you will receive the rewards you deserve for your hard work and efforts.
If you believe at all in the effects of the full moon on your affairs, and if you can interpret your own dreams, then you may also believe in other mystical and spiritual practices such as astrology, numerology, and the tarot. Well, in astrology the key signs for this full moon are that it’s in Scorpio and the opposing sign is Taurus. In numerology this full moon falls just after 11:11. And as for the tarot, you would need to have a personal reading.
For me, this is a time to make some important choices as far as intimate relationships are concerned, but before I can resolve anything, I first of all need to deal with some conflicts, negative emotions, and ghosts from the past. These echoes of the past are not just mine, but are also carried by some others I am close to. But the past can only hurt you if you let it. To make things work I know that I will have to do whatever it takes, without reservation, and without allowing my chaotic, dark, uncontrollable, negative emotions to get in the way.
Some say that spirituality, mysticism, and religion are all just bunkum. And that unless you can see and touch something it doesn’t exist. All I know is that there are powers greater than me in this cosmos.
don’t let this full moon trap you in the prison of your own negative emotions.
I get jealous, I get mad, I get curious ~ that’s only because I care
jealousy is always, always, ultimately destructive
Yesterday I posted some stuff about Retroactive Jealousy, which seems to be the most disturbing, counter-intuitive, difficult to comprehend, painful psychological condition anyone could suffer from. Jealousy drove me to drink and thoughts of suicide. But, how to get over this life-destroying problem, just how does one recover from jealousy over your partner’s past?
Retroactive Jealousy is a serious mental disorder, which means that your jealousy is not really part of you, it’s your mental illness driving you into painfully insane thoughts and actions. Your jealousy may not be you, it might be obsessions and compulsions which arise from a medical disease, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.
Do not make the mistake of waiting passively for the jealousy, and the insane urges to do something crazy to just go away. By something crazy I mean getting drunk a lot, stalking your partner’s social media, spying on your partner, committing suicide….. If you suffer from retroactive jealousy the worst thing you can do is nothing ~ the most important thing is to do something, see a psychiatrist, talk to your sponsor in whatever 12 step group you attend, watch some appropriate podcasts on YouTube, read a useful book ~ Brain Lock might be helpful, as might The Road Less Travelled. DO NOT ever talk with your partner about this ~ that is the very worst thing you can do, it’s like an alcoholic taking just one more drink, there is no relief to be found there.
Talking with your partner about their past, the past that you suffer crazy jealousies about, is just another way of harming yourself ~ and in any event your partner will probably lie, deny, and minimise what they did in their past. There is no truth and no recovery to be found in talking things over with your partner.
To recover from retroactive jealousy you have to put in some very hard work. And the first step is to admit that you have a real and life-destroying problem. And then you have to consider Desire, Wants, Needs, and Love.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
The accepted prerequisite for anyone to suffer from Retroactive Jealousy is that they must both love and need their partner, or at least firmly believe that they both love and need their partner. There can be no retroactive jealousy unless you first deeply care about someone. Ergo, one sure cure for this horrible condition is to stop needing and loving him or her. Face it, why would you love someone who has done things which hurt you so deeply, perhaps things that disgust you? That really is counter intuitive, so to stop hurting, just stop loving.
Another way to cure retroactive jealousy is to just walk away ~ leave your partner, never look back, and then completely forget them. Mark the time you spent with him or her as the biggest mistake of your life, and move on.
Or, put yourself into months and years of really painful therapy.
How am I recovering from Retroactive Jealousy? I’ve stopped needing. The truly self-aware and self-reliant man has no neediness.
Some say that real men don’t suffer from jealousy. And that being jealous only shows up your own inadequacies. All I know is that the insanity of being jealous of the past almost killed me.
falling in love with a centerfold is maybe not the best idea a guy could ever have
And God created the Heavens and the Earth.
Some say that God created the cosmos in six days, and that the Earth is 6,000 years old.
Science tells us that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old, and that the mile wide crater near Winslow Arizona was made by a meteor 50,000 years ago.
Standing on the edge of the crater there is no sense of scale, but it’s huge.
What nobody will tell you is that standing on the edge of the crater in June, you will get eaten alive by midge and mosquito alike. Go very early in the morning, in colder weather, but go. If just to know that all the religious fundamentalists are wrong.
If a meteor had to strike anywhere, AZ is as good a place as any, as AZ is mostly empty space.
California is a nice place to live, if you happen to be a hippie.
Orange County in Southern California is a very beautiful place to spend early summer ~ the great weather, fabulous beaches, and fascinating countryside….. But any Englishman thinking of coming here for the very first time needs to know that SoCal is as different from the Shires as Wensleydale cheese is from the muck known as American cheese.
George Bernard Shaw once said that England and America are two countries separated by a common language. This is manifestly true. Californians do not know how to speak or understand English, even if Spanish is not their first language. Certainly no Californian will ever understand English humour, irony, sarcasm, or know what real honesty is about. Also Californians have a language of their own; WTF does ‘Jonesing’ mean?
There is popular movement that calls on us all to walk 10,000 steps a day. Californians do not walk anywhere, unless they are a penniless bum. A Californian will drive to the gym and then spend some time on the treadmill while listening to mindless music.
And, Californians are among the very worst drivers I have ever come across, possibly barring the French. The two real downsides are #1 all Americans think they are good drivers, #2 in California the standard of driving worsens by age, sex, and ethnicity, (not how you’d think).
Californians even drive to and from what they are pleased to call a pub. I’ve been in several pubs / sports bars here, and to any decent Englishman they are universally appalling. Do Not think you will get a decent pint of beer here, they serve dross such as pineapple flavoured beer. Americans are also pleased to sit at the bar and watch sports TV all night. Do Not eat the food in any American pub / sports bar.
Some Californian food is fabulous, you can get a wonderful steak and salad here. On the other hand sushi is popular here, and so is serving nasty cheese with everything. Do not try ‘Mexican’ food, it’s greasy muck with jalapeno.
Some say that California is the Golden State. And that saying ‘have a nice day’ isn’t actually an insult. All I know is that bikers, drop-outs, hippies, stoners, and surf bums do well here.
The beach bars are cool in California,
and some serve good food,
A firm sense of right and wrong isn’t fashionable these days.
It seems that unless I always agree with what others think, say, and do ~ then I’m wrong, bad, reactionary, and backward. Worse than that, if I happen to think that what other people have done isn’t necessarily ethical or sensible, then somehow I’m attacking them. I’m not, I just disagree.
Look at what the majority of people are saying and doing, and do the exact opposite, and you’ll probably never go wrong for as long as you live. ~ Earl Nightingale.
Thinking and doing the opposite of what the majority is doing or has done isn’t about being different for the sake of being different. There are lots of times that agreeing with everyone else is the right thing to do. There are lots of times when the well-trodden path is the right one for me to take.
The challenge for me is to know when to take the road less travelled.
Thinking, saying, and doing the opposite of what others would have me do is quite likely to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s scary, lonely, and exposes me to the harshest criticisms. It’s never easy to be seen to be going against the grain, and ignoring the attitudes and advice of my friends, family, and wider society. But, I’m used to being uncomfortable and the odd one out.
I feel no need to justify my ethics, attitudes, and actions ~ no matter the slings and arrows of discontent thrown against me.
Doing the exact opposite of the norm, or refusing to change who and what I am, does not always achieve the results, goals, and dreams I want. But, I have discovered that just repeating what others do, or agreeing with what others think, doesn’t always work either.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein.
There are some people it would be much easier to always agree with. It would probably make me much happier just to agree with them and go along with what they like.
It isn’t going to happen.
Some say that it’s good to be liberated and do whatever you like regardless of the consequences. And, that if you don’t agree with the latest and most fashionable opinion, then you’re wrong and reactionary. All I know is that I have the strongest possible self-awareness and self-discipline, and I’m happy with that.
sometimes, a real man needs to take the road less travelled
Happy Easter to Everyone
As it’s Good Friday, and according to tradition, I’m having fish for dinner.
It is not the length of life that matters, but the depth of life.
What would you do if you knew that you only had one month to live? Or just one day ~ until noon?
Some say that they would finally say goodbye to all of their friends and family, put their affairs in order, and quietly sit down and wait for the grim reaper to call.
Others say they would tick off as many things on their bucket list as they could. They forget that wherever they go they take their whole life along with them.
And then there are those facing certain death who retreat into denial with religion and a bottle of booze.
Not that I believe that I am anywhere near the end of days, but I’ve had to seriously accept that my time on this planet is numbered, and the count-down started the day I was conceived.
I get the feeling that I don’t belong here, that everything good is so hard to hear, they’re just not listening. I’ve walked so far along the warrior’s path that sometimes I aim too high. I get the feeling that I am among the lucky few who has been able to accept that winter comes eventually.
So, with the assumption that I have 28 Days to Live, how does that change what’s left of my life?
- Money is worthless.
- Possessions are useless.
- Unhappiness is pointless.
- Stale relationships don’t matter at all.
- Negativity and judgementalism are a waste of time.
Only people, places, and things I do that bring me immediate happiness, contentment, and serenity deserve any place in what’s left of my life. Making other people happy may give me vicarious satisfaction, but that matters not one jot. Nothing lasts forever, people change their minds, and today is just another day. Living life to the fullest, seizing the day, means that I will only be around those who can fill my life with a kaleidoscope of colour.
My castle is in the clouds, and if others don’t want to go there then they can fuck off and have a nice day without me.
Some men say that she holds their heart in their hands. And, that if they can’t have her their life can never be complete. All I know is that it will be all right without her, I will be as strong as I can be.
a man with 28 days to live should perhaps find a woman who has fabulous legs
Goddess, if there is a Goddess, please listen to my prayer.
Please help me to cleanse my body, mind, emotions, and spirit of the poisons that have infected and tortured me.
Please help me to cleanse myself of all that is no longer necessary in my life. Help me towards a new beginning.
Help me to make good decisions, especially concerning what should happen when I am not around.
In the wilderness, one’s spirit grows closer to your Goddess
The Ten Commandments are not supposed to be suggestions.
However, there are a few things in the Ten Commandments that give me a problem, not least all that God stuff. For example; Thou shalt have no other Gods but me. Well, I don’t have a God at all, my personal deity and higher power is a Goddess, which kind of means that I’m continually breaking the First Commandment.
And again, I have a slight problem with the Sixth Commandment; Thou shalt not commit adultery. I guess most of the adults on the planet have broken this commandment, in one way or another, at one time or another, and I can’t get much worked up about that.
Nonetheless, every good man should have rules that he lives by, or he will eventually become a macho jerk, bully, coward, crook, wastrel, thug, and probably much worse. Not only that, if a few good men don’t have rules they live by, then the whole world will soon descend into chaos.
Remember, the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
My personal rules are;
- Do no harm.
- Do not lie.
- Do not steal.
- Do not judge.
- Do not be lazy.
If you liked, you could junk all five of my personal rules, and just live by the one rule that’s best for you;
Get your shit together.
Some say that the Ten Commandments are divinely revealed law. And that if God had wanted us to live in today’s broken society they would have been Ten Suggestions. All I know is that you are going to piss off a lot of people when you start doing what’s best for you.
a portrayal of my personal Goddess
there’s a lot to be said for having a very Hot personal Goddess of love incarnate