You can never get away from where you’ve been.
We cannot change the past, we can only change the ways feel think and feel about the past. Most people have brutal, painful, and regrettable memories of their past. Events from the past have created who we are today, and events from the past will affect us today, tomorrow, next week, next year, and maybe until the day we die and beyond…..
Some of us may say that we are OK with the past, that things that happened in our childhood and adolescence do not haunt us at all. But beware, even if you are not aware of it, everything that you have experienced in the past; good, bad, terrible, traumatic, joyful, boring….. is affecting your sub-conscious today.
Nobody, up to and including you and me, is completely at peace with their past. We cannot, and should not, forget the past. Our past creates in us feelings of anxiety, bitterness, disappointment, doubt, guilt, fear, frustration, hurt, regret, rejection, sadness….. and most of us recall and remember the negatives from our past more than we focus on the positives.
Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. ~ Chuck Palahniuk
Some of us try to run away from our past; changing where we live, drifting from one relationship to another, changing jobs, drinking too much, taking drugs, attempting suicide, and metaphorically running away to join the circus. But none of that running away ever works, for wherever we go we take the past with us. (Even if a suicide attempt fails it will most likely do irreparable damage to the body, mind, and spirit.)
For some of us it’s even worse, because we are also affected by the past of someone who is very close to us, and emotions created by someone else’s past are incredibly difficult to deal with. This is doubly so if our ‘friend’ hasn’t themselves fully come to terms with their own past.
To be cool with the past we must first be motivated to deal with the past. We need to understand what really happened in the past, not just some biased half-memories that we use to fuel our negative emotions today. Try to find out what really happened in the past. Be willing to talk about and fully explore issues from the past. Stop pretending that everything from the past is fine, when most likely it isn’t. Acknowledge your true feelings, whether they be loss, hurt, shame, anger…..
You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. ~ Iyanla Vazant.
Depending how deeply the past affects us, we may need help to come to terms with what happened, how it affected us, and who we are today because of the past. Speaking to family and friends may help, you may need to see your doctor or a therapist, you may talk with your priest or spiritual adviser, you may need something like hypnosis, or you may just need to really meditate, read inspirational books, listen to motivational lectures, or just go for a long walk in the sunshine.
With any luck we may find out that the past is better than we feared. But, no matter if the past is better or worse than we think we remember, we cannot move on from something we don’t understand and we refuse to accept.
That’s the past for you. Not only does it come back at the most unexpected and inconvenient times, but it’s set in stone. ~ Jeffery Deaver.
There may well be things from the past that need resolution. This might be very difficult, but the longest journey starts with the first baby-step. Be honest. Be self-aware. Be kind with yourself. Seek to understand yourself. Be kind and understanding towards others. And, give yourself time to heal.
A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind. ~ Louis L’Amour
Some say that we can become cool with the past by keeping a positive outlook and a strong determination to succeed in finding joy instead of negative emotions. And, that the past only exists in our memories and imagination. All I know is that the past isn’t actually here.
If what you’re doing isn’t working,
then do something else instead.
Don’t be ashamed of your story ~ it will inspire others.
When nothing is ventured, nothing is gained, so what’s the sense of running away from your own life. The good things just don’t fall out of the sky, they have to be worked for. But we have to do the right things, at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. Trying to force the best that Life has to offer doesn’t ever work ~ we have to work with the rhythms of the Cosmos, and not against the flow of the tides.
The great rhythms of nature, today so dully disregarded, wounded even, have their spacious and primeval liberty….. Journeying birds alight here and fly away again all unseen, schools of fish move beneath the waves, the surf flings its spray against the sun. ~ Henry Beston.
Little did I realise when I was an overpaid and overworked international banker how little I saw of nature. What I saw were offices, the inside of cars, trains and ‘planes, hotels, airports, other offices, and city streets. I earned a hell of a lot of money, but money is a false God, and money never made me happy. Today I can be happy to walk by the sea, to look at the sky, to enjoy the vast curve of a distant horizon, to listen to the murmur of the surf and the mournful cries of the gulls. Cars, trains, and ‘planes still have their place in my life, but now it’s only a minor element of who I am ~ cities are no longer the be-all and end-all.
Perhaps it is the night of despair where you are, and I am certain that you are not sleeping soundly. If you are dreaming at all, I hope you are having sweet and pleasant dreams, but I’m certain that you are not. I am certain your dreams are weird and disturbing, turning into nightmares. Try and leave those night-terrors behind you for a while. There are enough nightmares in the real world without us having to suffer them during our sleep.
The world turns, it may be day-time here, night-time where you are, and somewhere the dawn is breaking and the birds are awakening. The Cosmos is like a giant time-piece, it has a rhythm of its own ~ the Cosmos keeps its own time. Be aware, just like the rhythms of a friendship and love between two people change and develop, so the Cosmos is a continual state of change. We need to enjoy the moonlight while we wait for the sunrise.
We are a part of the Cosmos, we are where our physical bodies are, but our spirits are everywhere. We exist in this time, but we also exist in a myriad of pasts and possible futures. I want, need, and desire that the future that awaits me is chosen from the best of all possible alternative realities. I can close my eyes and imagine ideal pasts, presents, and futures, and in all of them I hope I can spend some cool times with people I care for, cherish, and love.
We are made of starstuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself. ~ Carl Sagan
What have we dreamed and who have we lost? In my ideal times we are entirely friendly, trusting, honest, open, caring and loving. You know what? I don’t think that it’s too much for me to pray to the Goddess to help me to attain my own earthly versions of nirvana. It may seem strange to you but I pray to the mother goddess, and in her form incarnate; Aphrodite. I dream of he Goddess Aphrodite, still looking for the place where we belong together.
I am excited about where I can go in time and space, in friendship, love, and sensual pleasure. The cool things I could possibly do, and the cool places I could visit. It’s about being able to fly, about having the courage to live life to the fullest, to enjoy every moment of every day. Someday soon I will build a tiny trailer, and someday after that I will build something much more ambitious, like a school-bus RV, or a tiny home in someplace beautiful, with a wonderful view of the dawn and sunset.
Shit happens all the time, but one has to remember that; as there is no growth without suffering, there can be no pleasure without pain. There is a reason we were brought to this life, all we have to do is trust and take one small step in time. Such are my beliefs.
It’s not all sweet and elegant lies. Shit happens, but Magic happens too.
Recovery is possible ~ but first one has to admit that there is a problem.
Charity compelled is simply a polite word for slavery.
Big Charities, often known as the Third Sector, disgust and appall me.
Personally, I only ever donate to one charity, and that is my local hospice. Under no circumstances would I ever donate to ‘Big Charity’ ~ organisations such as the disgraced Oxfam, the RSPB, the RSPCA, Save the Children, Wellcome Trust, World Food Programme, World Vision.
I’m not a fan of giving to charities. I have a few I support but the overhead and inefficiencies really bother me. Instead I pay people’s bills and help solve problems. ~ Mark Cuban
Previously the reason I never gave to charities other than my local hospice was my disgust at how much the bosses of the big charities paid themselves ~ the average, (mean), pay for executives in the top 100 UK charities was £255,000 pounds a year in 2017, ($350,000). Fourteen of the top 100 charities paid their highest earners more than £300,000 a year ~ and those huge pay deals come straight out of the money that is supposed to go to good causes. That is obscene.
The highest paid charities bosses in England all work for charitable healthcare trusts, with the top people at the London Clinic, Nuffield Health, and St. Andrews Healthcare all earning over £750,000 a year, ($1,050,000).
It’s even worse in the USA with the boss of the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center being paid $6,700,003 in 2016. The boss of the National Rifle Association, (which has charitable status), was paid $1,422,339 in 2016 ~ the NRA like AR-15 assault rifles such as the type used to kill 17 people in a Florida High School recently.
Disproportionate salaries risk bringing charitable organisations and the wider charitable world into disrepute. ~ William Shawcross, Chairman of the Charity Commission.
And now there is another reason I won’t give to charities other than my local hospice ~ the big aid charities are discovered to be the natural home and hunting ground for sex-pests, perverts, paedophiles and rapists.
From Africa, to the Caribbean, end even in thrift stores in the United Kingdom, there has been a continual flood of disturbing news of sex abuse, some of it of the worst kind imaginable, with under-age girls and boys being forced to trade their bodies for food by aid workers. Desperate teen prostitutes were paid in rice to have sex with groups of Oxfam workers at drunken orgies in Haiti. This is far beyond disgusting.
Even the respected Archbishop Desmond Tutu has resigned as an ambassador for Oxfam ~ the worst hit of the sex-scandal charities, for now.
You would think their would be some contrition at the highest levels in Oxfam, but NO there isn’t. Oxfam still will not release the names of the guilty aid workers. The disingenuous Mark Goldring, the charity’s chief executive, has said that; ‘the issue had been blown out of all proportion…’ He claimed that critics were ‘gunning’ for the charity. And, ‘it’s not like we murdered babies in their cots…’ This sanctimonious man sickens me.
All of a sudden we’ve got two former ministers calling for my resignation. What I felt really clearly is many people haven’t wanted to listen to explanations. ~ Mark Goldring.
How do you explain away child sex abuse and rape?
The UK government was giving some £32 million of taxpayers money to Oxfam annually ~ this funding has been suspended. Many right-thinking people think that it should be stopped altogether, permanently.
I will never give a penny-piece to any charity than my cash-poor local hospice. Unfortunately, the UK Government’s Department for International Development currently squanders £13.4 billion a year on ill-judged funding to organisations like Oxfam and the disgraced UN. I have no choice in where the government spends the money I pay in taxes.
That too is disgusting.
Nothing to do with any of this makes me feel proud to be British.
I want the moon to be there, even when I’m not looking at it.
Nobody really understands quantum mechanics, or quantum physics, or quantum biology, or quantum psychology, or quantum theory.
If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet. ~ Niels Bohr
I have long been fascinated by the spooky world of quantum physics and quantum mechanics, where nothing makes sense, everything is possible, the totally weird is commonplace, and things seem to happen by random chance. Many respectable scientists will have nothing whatsoever to do with anything called Quantum ~ even Albert Einstein was unhappy about quantum physics.
God does not play dice with the universe. ~ Albert Einstein
Recently I discovered that there is a thing called quantum biology, where quantum effects are applied to biological objects, events, and problems.
It occurred to me that the spooky stuff in quantum mechanics could also be applied to physical, mental, sexual, and spiritual events and effects in humans. That there should be something called quantum psychology. It turns out that some other people believe that quantum psychology does exist, and they believe it is strange, spooky, and probably doesn’t make sense. In fact, anything to do with the quantum world is counterintuitive and goes against ‘common sense’.
If the word ‘fuck’ is obscene or dirty, why isn’t the word ‘duck’ 75% dirty. ~ Robert Anton Wilson.
The reason I started to believe in quantum psychology is that, from time to time, I have been instantly affected, (in real time), by thoughts and feelings my friend has, even though she is 5,256 miles away in Orange County, Southern California. There is a phenomena in quantum physics called quantum entanglement, where actions performed on one entangled particle affect the other, even when the entangled particles are separated by a great distance. Albert Einstein called this spooky connections and spooky action at a distance. I believe this spooky connection exists in quantum psychology, which is why things my friend does, thinks, or feels in California can affect me here in England.
This is weird, but if quantum psychology really does exist, then it is guaranteed to be weird. Quantum physics reveals the basic interconnectedness and oneness of all things in the universe, which reveals that all people are connected at some level, therefore I am connected to my friend, even when I’m in England and she is in Southern California.
…so many people have been hypnotized by Aristotelian yes / no logic to the extent that any step beyond that Bronze Age mythos seems to them a whirling, dizzying plunge into a pit of Chaos and the Dark Night of Nihilism. ~ Robert Anton Wilson.
This means that in the quantum world boolean algebra, which is basically yes / no and 0 or 1 logic, does not exist, or does not always apply. In the quantum world, in the world of quantum psychology, true and false do not actually exist. This absolutely mirrors the real world of medical psychology and practical psychology, where everybody lies, nothing is completely true, and understanding people is more of a black art than a science.
One of the sayings I found most useful form my study of Neuro Linguistic Programming is that information does not have to be true to be useful. The theories of Quantum Psychology may not be completely true, but they are a very useful way of understanding intimate interpersonal relationships. The theories of quantum psychology may even help men understand women.
Some women anyhow.
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Sadness and fear die in the night of the Winter Witch.
It’s the shortest day of the year, officially the first day of winter. The sun is directly over the Tropic of Capricorn. Here in Northern England sunrise today is at 08:25, and sunset darkens at 15:39 (twenty-one minutes to four in the afternoon). In all we will have 7 hours and 14 minutes of grey daylight today.
It’s the winter solstice, which happens for everyone in the northern hemisphere at exactly 16:28 GMT today. The night will be dark as the new moon was only a few days ago on December the 18th. The next full moon will be on New Years Night, January the 1st 2018. This will be the Full Wolf Moon and it also means a fresh start, a time for reflection, self-awareness, and rebirth. This is the time for all of us to be born anew.
The winter solstice has been celebrated by pagans in England for thousands of years, and many of the traditions now associated with Christmas have their roots in winter solstice celebrations ~ basically Christianity ‘stole’ the winter solstice. (One wonders why Christmas isn’t actually on December the 21st.)
The ancient feast of the winter solstice was called Juul in Scandinavia and by the Germanic Peoples, (now Yule), or Saturnalia in Ancient Rome, Yalda in the Middle East, Tekufat Tevet in the Talmud, Dongzhi n China… Yule is a fire festival, and this is when the Yule Log is brought into the home ~ it should be Ash and it should burn for 12 days before being put out. (Which is where the 12 days of Christmas originate.)
In the Northern Hemisphere, friends gather to celebrate the longest night… a chance to still ourselves inside, to behold the glory of the cosmos, and take a breath with the Sacred. ~ T. Thorn Coyle.
The ancient monument at Stonehenge, Wiltshire, England, was built so that it actually indicates the solstice. Modern druids still go there to celebrate the shortest day of the year and the rebirth of the sun as the days begin to lengthen again. From today our physical, mental, and spiritual energies will begin to increase from the low ebb they have reached as the days have shortened.
This is the night The Goddess becomes The Great Mother and gives birth to the Sun King, (not the Son King). It is a time to eat, drink, and be merry ~ light candles, give gifts, gather greenery… It is a time to connect with the natural world in a way that honours the sacred immanent in all things, and a time to celebrate the interconnectedness of all things.
The Wheel of Life has turned again.
Marmaduke and I
Wish You A Happy Yuletide
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