do you believe in Father Christmas, do you believe in a brave New Year?
do you believe in the ten commandments, is your life filled with fear?
To believe is to accept that something exists, or that something is true, when there is no evidence or proof to back up that belief. Millions of children around the world believe in Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Saint Nicholas….. He will remain in the hearts of children forever, and the children have proof, he brings them toys and other gifts every Christmas. This belief is useful too, for doesn’t he have a list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, checking it twice before he leaves toys and presents for the nice children, and a lump of coal for the naughty boys and girls. A perfect cautionary tale for parents to blackmail their kids into being nice near Christmas.
Some beliefs are neither useful nor true ~ like a Flat Earth. Those who believe the Earth is flat are either deranged, or willfully stupid, or as thick as two short planks. There is plenty of evidence to prove the planet Earth is more or less a sphere, as are all the other planets visible through a telescope. Also believing in a flat Earth is not useful, since long-distance navigation is based on the great circle theory, which is navigating a ship or an aircraft using spherical trigonometry. Ergo believers in a flat Earth should never ever get on an aircraft or go on a cruise.
One does not have to believe everything one hears. ~ Cicero
Another belief that is neither useful or true is Alien Visitation. There are plenty of spurious reasons given to prove that alien visitation happens all the time, and I don’t believe any of them. There is also one crushing piece of evidence to disprove the very idea that creatures / people from the stars regularly visit the Earth ~ nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. The nearest known exoplanet is 4.25 light years away, so allowing for basic physics that means a round-trip of about 12 years, even if our starship can get near the speed of light. Just never going to happen.
One false belief that is useful is in Pythagoras’ theorem; the square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides. Or more practically just remember 3,4,5. This is mostly true, but some believe it is always true. Try navigating from England to New York using Pythagoras and the Gods only know where you will land. Sometimes even the dearest held, and most provable belief is only mostly true.
Believing in God, any God, is maybe the most commonly held belief of them all, along with whichever prophet fits the religion of your choice. This belief is useful to many, especially the clergy of every religion, but there is no proof whatsoever, and that’s the whole point. Religion is all about Faith not Belief ~ and if you start to look into Faith you get into a circular argument. Anyway I think religion isn’t based on faith, it’s about the fear of eternal damnation
Some say that real belief needs no proof. And that faith is trust without reservation. All I know is I trust scientific and engineering methodologies more than I trust priests and demagogues. And I believed in Love.
the Earth is positively not flat
also called Beaver Moon, the November full moon shone yesterday
The November 12th / 13th full moon is a dream moon, and has the power to bring your intimate relationships into sharper focus. Opposing forces such as work versus home, or what you want versus what you really need, or the state of your romantic affairs, will be shown in any dream you can remember. If your dreams give any insight, then understanding and communicating your feelings with clarity and sensitivity will become possible through strong intuition ~ if you have courage and fortitude.
This is a time of incredible emotional opportunities, but also a time when struggles in relationships might lead into wrong and misunderstood conversations, and thus the ending of things with a once-loved one. A lot of tenderness, hard work, and patience will be needed to overcome conflicts, differences of opinion, and pointless arguments. If handled correctly and logically, with self-discipline and diplomacy, the turmoil will just blow over and you will receive the rewards you deserve for your hard work and efforts.
If you believe at all in the effects of the full moon on your affairs, and if you can interpret your own dreams, then you may also believe in other mystical and spiritual practices such as astrology, numerology, and the tarot. Well, in astrology the key signs for this full moon are that it’s in Scorpio and the opposing sign is Taurus. In numerology this full moon falls just after 11:11. And as for the tarot, you would need to have a personal reading.
For me, this is a time to make some important choices as far as intimate relationships are concerned, but before I can resolve anything, I first of all need to deal with some conflicts, negative emotions, and ghosts from the past. These echoes of the past are not just mine, but are also carried by some others I am close to. But the past can only hurt you if you let it. To make things work I know that I will have to do whatever it takes, without reservation, and without allowing my chaotic, dark, uncontrollable, negative emotions to get in the way.
Some say that spirituality, mysticism, and religion are all just bunkum. And that unless you can see and touch something it doesn’t exist. All I know is that there are powers greater than me in this cosmos.
don’t let this full moon trap you in the prison of your own negative emotions.
typically, younger guys never make good choices
British lager louts
Rigorous statistical and sociological analysis tells me that younger guys, in their late teens and early twenties, are rude, lazy, self-centered, mindless, moronic, destructive, uncaring, loutish jerks. They have no finer feelings nor noble thoughts, they operate purely from reptilian instinct. Younger guys tend to drink too much, use drugs, do nothing for their fellow human beings, act on dangerous impulses, engage in criminality and lawlessness, destroy places and things just for the savage joy of destruction, and screw every girl or woman who is stupid enough to let them.
Allow me to give you some evidentiary examples;
- Walking past a filling station a couple of days ago I watched a couple of younger guys driving out. Their car windows were open, mindless music blasting out, and they each chucked a half-empty drinks can out of their respective window, littering the filling station forecourt.
- Walking on the footpath a younger guy, (who looked for all the world like an addict), almost ran me down with his bicycle. No apology, no consideration for my safety at all. The words fucking wanker remained unspoken in my mind.
- A few days ago a couple of teenage males were caught on camera mindlessly kicking shit out of a D-Day memorial in Gosport.
- The scourge of violent moped gangs plaguing British city centres are all disaffected younger men ~ not so bad if they didn’t arm themselves with machetes.
- Here, the city has just planted some young trees in the street where I live, and on Sunday night, (which is a big party night), a young guy tore one of those saplings apart. What kind of mindless moron would deliberately destroy a sapling, just for fun?
- Every day I take an early morning walk. On Saturday, Sunday, and Monday mornings, after a drunken party night before, the whole town is littered with bottles, glasses, broken glass, discarded girls’ shoes and bits of clothing, and piles of vomit. Only younger people go to the bars around here.
- I have it on very good authority, from a very close friend, that when a young guy dates a girl or woman, it’s all about money, lust, power, and sex ~ there is never any affection, romance or love involved, just mindless fornication.
I could go on and on, but I don’t need to because you already know all this stuff. Many of the young guys of today, especially poorly educated young men from a lower-class background, are often utterly anti-social, violent, destructive thugs.
Some say that we were all kids once. And that boys will be boys. All I know is that I cross the street to avoid groups of younger guys.
the lives of most loutish disgusting horny young men revolves around booze drugs and sex
I get jealous, I get mad, I get curious ~ that’s only because I care
jealousy is always, always, ultimately destructive
Yesterday I posted some stuff about Retroactive Jealousy, which seems to be the most disturbing, counter-intuitive, difficult to comprehend, painful psychological condition anyone could suffer from. Jealousy drove me to drink and thoughts of suicide. But, how to get over this life-destroying problem, just how does one recover from jealousy over your partner’s past?
Retroactive Jealousy is a serious mental disorder, which means that your jealousy is not really part of you, it’s your mental illness driving you into painfully insane thoughts and actions. Your jealousy may not be you, it might be obsessions and compulsions which arise from a medical disease, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.
Do not make the mistake of waiting passively for the jealousy, and the insane urges to do something crazy to just go away. By something crazy I mean getting drunk a lot, stalking your partner’s social media, spying on your partner, committing suicide….. If you suffer from retroactive jealousy the worst thing you can do is nothing ~ the most important thing is to do something, see a psychiatrist, talk to your sponsor in whatever 12 step group you attend, watch some appropriate podcasts on YouTube, read a useful book ~ Brain Lock might be helpful, as might The Road Less Travelled. DO NOT ever talk with your partner about this ~ that is the very worst thing you can do, it’s like an alcoholic taking just one more drink, there is no relief to be found there.
Talking with your partner about their past, the past that you suffer crazy jealousies about, is just another way of harming yourself ~ and in any event your partner will probably lie, deny, and minimise what they did in their past. There is no truth and no recovery to be found in talking things over with your partner.
To recover from retroactive jealousy you have to put in some very hard work. And the first step is to admit that you have a real and life-destroying problem. And then you have to consider Desire, Wants, Needs, and Love.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
The accepted prerequisite for anyone to suffer from Retroactive Jealousy is that they must both love and need their partner, or at least firmly believe that they both love and need their partner. There can be no retroactive jealousy unless you first deeply care about someone. Ergo, one sure cure for this horrible condition is to stop needing and loving him or her. Face it, why would you love someone who has done things which hurt you so deeply, perhaps things that disgust you? That really is counter intuitive, so to stop hurting, just stop loving.
Another way to cure retroactive jealousy is to just walk away ~ leave your partner, never look back, and then completely forget them. Mark the time you spent with him or her as the biggest mistake of your life, and move on.
Or, put yourself into months and years of really painful therapy.
How am I recovering from Retroactive Jealousy? I’ve stopped needing. The truly self-aware and self-reliant man has no neediness.
Some say that real men don’t suffer from jealousy. And that being jealous only shows up your own inadequacies. All I know is that the insanity of being jealous of the past almost killed me.
falling in love with a centerfold is maybe not the best idea a guy could ever have
Happiness will not come to you. Happiness can only come from you.
There are lots of books, TV shows, podcasts, and blog posts that purport to tell us how to be happy. Some focus on the practical aspects, some on emotional states, some are spiritual, and some others are religious. Personally, I wouldn’t give much weight to anyone with religion telling me how to be happy, because it will always involve God, (in one way, shape, or form).
God and I went in different directions some time ago.
There are also lots of pithy inspirational sayings about happiness.
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Not everyone would agree with Roosevelt.
Therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, priests, and inspirational speakers can most likely give us a host of things we can do to improve our happiness. From; building a growth mindset for happiness, to being optimistic, to ending negative thinking, to taking breaks from social media, to trusting in your higher power, and having a healthy lifestyle. Having a healthy lifestyle sounds like a good start to me.
Another good start to greater happiness, that comes both before and after having a healthy lifestyle, is dealing with your addictions. I have yet to meet an alcoholic, problem drinker, drug addict, casual drug user, chronic gambler, someone who often has casual sex, or anyone with an eating disorder who was happy in any way shape or form. Addicts and people who go against their inner beliefs always live with inner misery.
In fact the list of people who live in utter misery is both long and heartbreaking. The very sick, the starving, the poor, people living on the streets, those who have recently lost a loved one, refugees, and anyone who abuses their body, mind, and spirit are likely to enjoy little real happiness.
However, some say that you only need 3 big things to be happier;
- Work. Most people don’t like or enjoy their work, which is sad and bad. Those people should bite the bullet and find a better job for them. But being out of work means you’re going to be broke and miserable, and work gives you money.
- Money. Money can’t buy happiness, but try living flat broke in modern society to know what misery is. Having just enough money will make you happier than being broke.
- Marriage ~ or a stable long-term relationship. This gives you things like friendship, security, and sex. People who live alone for too long are usually miserable and can become mentally ill.
It’s much more complicated than that, but I guarantee that if you don’t have all of those three things you will be very unhappy, probably depressed, and perhaps even suicidal.
Some say that money can’t buy you love. And that sex without love is just a meaningless mechanical act. All I know is that for a healthy person to live without sex and companionship is almost the definition of misery.
friendship, companionship, and sex may come in many different forms
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage.
I need a new plan. The one I’ve been using this past week doesn’t work.
On the other hand, I’ve been driven by events, rather than choosing my own path.
Having your home broken into kind of does that to you. In some ways it’s not the invasion, nor the fact that my stuff was taken, it’s all the
fucking damned paperwork and admin that follows a burglary that has really been depressing me. And, I’ll give you one very important piece of advice, never throw away any bill, or receipt, or piece of correspondence. Keep every fucking piece of paper in organised files for at least 6 years. If you don’t then you’ll spend forever sorting out the paperwork when some unforeseen event or disaster happens.
I just have, and mine was only a little robbery, not some huge fucking disaster.
Hopefully, things will be better for me in the next few days.
Arguing isn’t communication, it’s just hot noise.
Violence is an argument lost.
Most arguments are nothing like a reasoned debate, because usually arguments come about when two people in a relationship have completely opposing and irreconcilable views. Most arguments become heated at some point and degenerate into a flaming row ~ or turn utterly cold and vicious. Seldom does an argument tell anyone anything that they didn’t already know ~ usually arguments are circular and rehash familiar disagreements. And, no argument ever changes anyone’s mind about anything at all. In fact, arguments tend to reinforce existing views as new reasons are found for the status-quo.
Be calm in arguing for fierceness makes error a fault and truth discourtesy. ~ George Herbert
Think of this; you and your partner have opposing views, you disagree, and you argue. In that case we mostly pretend to listen and be open-minded, instead what we really do is try to find weaknesses in his / her position so we can disprove his / her argument. Or, if they’ve just put a dent in your reasoning, you are frantically thinking of some new counterpoint. Open-mindedness and reasonableness doesn’t come into it.
Denial and self-delusion also form a big part of most arguments. Even when we are totally and utterly wrong we are unlikely to admit it, even to ourselves. However, most arguments are not a clear matter or right and wrong ~ black and white is often more like multifarious shades of grey. Mostly there is some right and some wrong on both sides.
A truly calm and informative discussion of opposing views should, in theory, lead to a compromise. BUT, more often than not a compromise is just a situation that pleases neither side. Compromises often leave both sides unhappy, which will lead to future arguments over much the same ground.
Worse than a compromise is to resolve an argument by one side imposing a resolution on the other. The ‘stronger’ imposing their will upon the ‘weaker’, the richer imposing their will upon the poorer, the adult imposing their will upon the child. These false resolutions are usually unjust, which will undoubtedly create resentments, which will undoubtedly lead to more and bitterer arguments in the future.
The imposition of the Treaty of Versailles on Germany after the 1914 – 18 war inevitably resulted in WWII. World War is the ultimate of hot arguments.
Some say that they are honest, honourable, and open-minded. And, that you should always agree with them, because they are always right. All I know is that you may be right, but I don’t agree.
a short Lee-Enfield convinces most people
And God created the Heavens and the Earth.
Some say that God created the cosmos in six days, and that the Earth is 6,000 years old.
Science tells us that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old, and that the mile wide crater near Winslow Arizona was made by a meteor 50,000 years ago.
Standing on the edge of the crater there is no sense of scale, but it’s huge.
What nobody will tell you is that standing on the edge of the crater in June, you will get eaten alive by midge and mosquito alike. Go very early in the morning, in colder weather, but go. If just to know that all the religious fundamentalists are wrong.
If a meteor had to strike anywhere, AZ is as good a place as any, as AZ is mostly empty space.